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Gender is binary because it’s part of your identity. Before you were born, you were a thought in God’s mind. God designed you to be either male or female.
Dictionary.com defines identity as:
The state or fact of remaining the same … under varying aspects or conditions … the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time and sometimes disturbed in mental illnesses, as schizophrenia.
Identity can’t change. Any aspect of your identity must be permanently yours, or else it really isn’t part of you. You can lose a job, your health, or even a loved one. But no one can steal the identity God gave to you.
Changing Your Appearance Doesn’t Change Your Identity
Trying on different clothes can be fun. The purpose is finding the clothing that best fits with who are you. Moods, styles, and expressions are meant to change frequently. Clothing goes out of style all the time.
Your identity will never go out of style. Share on XChanging your hair color changes your appearance. Putting on different styles and colors of clothes accents your identity. This gives life a sense of adventure. You can paint your home a different color every day if you like.
Changing Your Thoughts Doesn’t Change Your Identity
You might be able to arbitrarily change who you think you are. You’ll never be able to change who you actually are.
Say I am a hamburger. Say it again every day when you wake up. Say it every time you feel any doubt about who you are. If you don’t know who you’re supposed to be, eventually, you might convince yourself that you’re a hamburger.
Your mind is a powerful gift. You can use it to disconnect from reality. You’ll never be able to change reality.
Be careful what you wish for. You might journey down a path leading to no place good. Life is tough. Don’t make it more difficult and confusing than it already is.
You can stop saying you’re a hamburger. Try I am made in God’s image.
God Gives You Your Identity
You have an identity that remains the same under varying circumstances. God expects us to discover what that is, not send in the bulldozers and try to out-create Him. The secret to maximum life enjoyment is aligning who you think you are with who God says you are.
You have freedom of choice but God is in control.
The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.—Proverbs 16:9
You can’t be whoever you want to be. You can pretend to be whoever you want to be. You can decide what you want to do with what God has given you. You can be more of exactly who God made you to be.
God Made You Male or Female as Part of Your Identity
God is a fixed point. You’re either moving away from Him or toward Him.
God defines reality. Gender is a fixed, specialized role. God assigned you a specific role to play.
God calls men and women to different roles. Otherwise, why would He have bothered to create such distinct genders?
You’re either male or female but you can express both masculine and feminine traits. There is actually significant flexibility within your role.
Most things can be done by both genders. But God made men and women to compliment each other, not compete with each other. God designed some activities especially for one gender.
If you attempt to blur your gender identity, you’ll move further away from God and who He designed you to be.
Gender Demonstrates Who God Is
God created gender to help us understand who He is. God is masculine as compared to the rest of creation. Marriage between a man and a woman, each with distinct roles, creates a picture of who God is. Marriage is a sacrament — a living picture husband and wife experience as they relate to each other. Marriage services as a constant reminder of who God is and who we are as Christ’s bride.
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
—1 Corinthians 11:3
The gender roles provide a clear structure of authority. God doesn’t intend for us to tinker with His design. Doing so creates a false image of who He claims to be.
Gender is binary because, as a part of creation, it communicates who God is.
Matt Pavlik is a licensed professional clinical counselor who wants to see each individual restored to their true identity. He has more than 20 years of experience counseling individuals and couples at his Christian counseling practice, New Reflections Counseling. Matt and Georgette have been married since 1999 and live with their four children in Centerville, Ohio.
Matt’s courses and books contain practical exercises that help God’s truth spring to life:
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