Identity

Use Your Inspiring Identity For Good

September 25, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Your identity is God’s gift to you so you can enjoy God and His creation. God also made you for others’ benefit. So, what good is your identity if you keep it hidden?

No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.
Matthew 5:15 NLT

This verse made its way into a children’s song: This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. Hide it under a bushel? No!

Everyone is made in God’s image. Believers have the Holy Spirit as a permanent dwelling companion. This qualifies all believers to come out of hiding. You have a light to shine.

Are You Afraid of Your Own Identity?

Often though, people are afraid of what will happen if they stay true to who they are.

I can’t tell my husband how I really feel. It would hurt his feelings.
I can’t take that promotion. Mark has worked here longer than I have.
I can’t tell my friend I don’t want to be in her wedding.
I can’t tell my neighbor his dog is too loud.

If you aren’t living up to your God-given potential, then you aren’t fulfilling God’s plan for your life. Likewise, if you aren’t being emotionally honest, you are minimizing your impact because of shame, or fear of rejection.

What you say or do will have an impact on someone. That’s what it means to be a person. You can’t be a healthy person and avoid that. God intends for you to use your identity to make a difference in the lives of others. But this can only be done without pretense.

Yet, many people struggle with being genuine. This is understandable because the problem of what to reveal to others can be complicated. While we all need a place where we can be as transparent as we need to be, there are also times when the people in our lives aren’t ready for it.

Do You Respect Others’ Identities?

What if being who we are would cause someone else pain? Paul addresses this in the context of faith.

Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right.
Romans 14:13,22 NLT

There are situations where God would have us keep our convictions to ourselves. We aren’t supposed to force our convictions onto another believer. We aren’t supposed to condemn or judge another believer in areas left to personal opinion.

While everyone has an ideal identity, we are all works in progress. In some areas, your friend might have a weaker understanding of their identity in Christ. In other areas, you might not understand the freedom that you have.

Even for ourselves, if we have doubts about a particular belief or action, we should seek clarity before taking action. God wants to act according to the faith we have. Faith is the road one must travel in order to please God (Romans 12:3, Hebrews 11:6).

For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
Romans 14:23 ESV

To further complicate matters, perhaps, as a child, you heard your parent tell you:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s better to not say anything at all.

And, Jesus says that we are to:

Treat others how you would want them to treat you (Luke 6:31).

Can You Act With a Confident Identity?

How then can a person follow these seemingly opposing principles:

Be emotionally honest with what is in your heart.
Don’t cause others to stumble.

The right approach is determined by:

Who you talk to
How you tell them and how much you tell them
What the consequences are for speaking or remaining silent

There’s a difference between staying true to your identity and condemning someone because of your beliefs. God wants you to be true to Him first, then true to yourself. But He also commands us to not pass judgment on someone because of their convictions (Romans 14:3).

Condemning someone for their beliefs is outsides the bounds of the authority God gives us. It’s up to God to approve or disapprove (Romans 14:4). But sharing your heart within an intimate relationship such as marriage is another situation entirely. Emotional healing can take place only when we share transparently what is in our hearts.

Suppose a person is married with children. This person feels stress from being a parent to young children. If you were this person, what could you do to stay true to your identity while not harming others? Evaluate the situation by determining the context.

Who: Expecting young children to understand stress is unrealistic and it could burden them with something that isn’t their responsibility or problem. Instead, you can talk to your spouse, friend, or counselor.
How: Tell your children in non-blaming age-appropriate language. “I need a break. Your grandparents are going to watch you for a while.”
What: This comes down to how stressed you are. If a good night’s rest will take care of it, then maybe you don’t need to do anything else.

Suppose instead that you aren’t feeling attracted to your spouse anymore. What could you do?

Who: Expecting your spouse to listen to your feelings about this is reasonable and necessary to improve the relationship. Are they in a position to handle it right now? Speak to them directly if possible, otherwise temporarily consider a friend or counselor.
How: Be clear and sincere. If you want a better relationship realize it can take time to work through all the issues. It’s important to stay committed to the process. Seek to understand and be understood before you seek a solution.
What: Silence doesn’t seem like an option. How can you have a fulfilling, intimate relationship if you can’t be honest? It’s the honesty that can lead to greater intimacy.

The key to resolving difficult scenarios like these is to realize that honesty is the first step in finding a resolution. Other people can’t help with your problems if they don’t know about them. Yes, they might not always like what you are saying, but hiding the problem is never a helpful strategy. Shame is a problem; hiding can feel better, but finding acceptance is the solution.

Hiding denies the problem which only allows it to grow. Facing the problem, with faith, God’s help, and others’ help might be unpleasant at first, but it always allows for the best possible outcome.

Allowing others to see you as you really are will be a priceless gift. If done with humility, it can inspire hope because of the testimony of how God will be able to heal your heart.

Sensible Risk With God As Your Safety Net

September 11, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Are you a risk-taker? That depends, you might say.

For some people, the risk is almost always worth the reward. They take a leap forward. They see staying at the same spot as even riskier than the unknown that lies ahead.

For some people, the predictability of remaining the same is its own reward. A leap might become a fall. A fall becomes a failure. It’s too much of a hassle.

For even others, risk is a no-brainer when what is at stake is worthwhile. Is my family in danger? Is my faith in Christ threatened? Nothing would prevent me from fighting for what I care about.

Whatever your preference, everyone has their limit on passivity. That’s because God wired us to care about what matters. We are made in His image, so we are willing to die for what is valuable. What is valuable to you?

Faith Appears to Involve Risk

Imagine a tightrope anchored between two tall buildings. You are on one side with a crowd of people. One man shouts, “Do you believe I can cross this rope to the other side?” The crowd cheers, “Yes!” The man shouts again, “Do you believe I can push a barrel while crossing?” The crowd cheers, “Yes!” The man shouts again, “How about if a person is inside the barrel and I am blindfolded?” The crowd answers, “Yes!” Finally, the man says, “Who will get into the barrel?” The crowd only responds with silence.

What is important enough to you to get into the barrel? Maybe you will get into the barrel because you can see the value in what is on the other side. But God doesn’t usually provide a clear picture of what that will be. He wants trust. Maybe then you will get into the barrel because God is asking you to.

Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.
Isaiah 26:4 NLT

Faith is Different than Risk

If God is asking you to get into the barrel, the request is actually much easier to fulfill. God rewards those who trust in Him. What if God wants you to let someone else (an imperfect human) push you across? The choice is still easy enough. God is the safety net below the rope. If you fall, He will catch you. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to grow in your trust.

Crossing to the other side means experiencing life. It means life. Nothing else should be more important than God and what He wants for your life.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.
Matthew 16:25 NLT

On the other hand, there is no need for a safety net if you have no plans to cross the rope.

What is Faith?

It’s trusting that God is working in you in ways that inspire action. It’s a sensible risk with God as your safety net. Without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).

Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
Philippians 2:12-13 NLT

God clearly wants to give you the desire and ability to please Him. All that you need to do is cooperate with His desire. Can you meet God with your enthusiastic agreement? Help me to desire what you want. Grant me the power to do what pleases you. When I am confused, guide me on the right path forward.

Does that path you are on seem confusing? Are you unsure if you are moving in the right direction? Check your heart. If your path involves sin, it’s the wrong path. Otherwise, if you desire to be on the path, stay on that path and trust God will guide you. To continue reflecting on this idea, read Psalm 23.

Correction Is Amazingly Hopeful

August 28, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Correction isn’t possible without patience. That’s because correction focuses on what is best for people who have errored. The opposite of correction is being lenient or harsh–it’s the sweet spot between the two.

Leniency fails to provide enough (or any) correction. It’s neglectful. It’s not the same as mercy which omits any destruction but still involves whatever is best.

Harshness over-corrects. It’s abusive. It’s not the same as helpful consequences. Harshness harms the people who have errored. It weakens them, making them less likely to achieve positive results.

A natural consequence for people who drive drunk is to take away their ability to drive. They might be inconvenienced but they still have a path forward in life. A lenient response would be silence (no consequence) which is essentially the same as condoning the behavior. An extreme, harsh response might be permanent expulsion from the country.

Correction Inspires Hope

There is never anything bad about correction. If it is on target, people can feel the consequence but can keep their dignity intact. Whatever they lose or whatever they must endure clearly points them in a direction that is only better.

Pruning is an excellent example of correction. A plant is expanding but not in ways that are healthy. It might have a disease, but it still has incredible value. Pruning reshapes the growth of the plant, making it optimal long-term.

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you.”
John 15:1-3 NLT

Pruning (correction) brings focus. The person doing the pruning communicates, “Don’t go that way; go this way.” The person who receives correction experiences loss. It can be quite painful, but it will be short-lived if the person adopts the right perspective.

Punishment Brings Despair

Punishment might share some things in common with correction but it’s definitely not a good substitute. The devil wants to bring about whatever will rob a person of hope. He feeds off of despair.

Punishment is more than just the delivery of hopelessness. It promotes lies. It hides the truth of the Gospel. To be discouraged, you must become blind to the truth.

Punishment decreases hope which makes life less livable. Returning to the gardening analogy, the punishment goes beyond pruning to hacking away at a plant. Instead of carefully cutting away unnecessary branches, all of the plant’s leaves might be removed. It’s not murder but the chance that the plant will die increases significantly.

How does God, our spiritual parent, relate to us? He corrects His children and He will eventually punish those who never become His children.

And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,
“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.
For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”
As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?
Hebrews 12:5-9 NLT

Use the ideas of correction and punishment to guide how you treat yourself and others. Evaluate how you treat yourself. If it feels harsh like punishment, you are being too hard on yourself. If you feel no incentive to improve, you are being too lenient. If it feels amazingly hopeful like you are really growing, you’re on the right path.

God is love, so His correction is going to feel loving even when it is painful. Love always hopes.

Discipline Versus Punishment
More about Discipline from Matt
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What You Value Determines Your Worth

August 14, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

In the familiar Matthew 6 passage, I’ve replaced “treasure” with “value.”

“Do not store up for yourselves [value] on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves [value] in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your [value] is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21 NIV

This passage teaches us to value what will last forever over what can be lost. Later in verse 24, it teaches that a person cannot serve both God and money. However, just because you don’t serve money, doesn’t mean you automatically value the right things in the right ways. Do you value God and yourself in the right way?

God’s Value of You is Constant

To value yourself and God appropriately first requires understanding God’s perspective on life. Life moves through four phases, segmented by physical and spiritual birth and death:

God knew who you were before you were born. He’d have to in order to create you.
God also knew you while you were alienated from Him in sin.
God knows who you are as a member of His spiritual family. Believers are God’s children.
Finally, God knows who you will be when you are in heaven.

God’s perspective on who you are will always be different than your perspective. God sees your life in full from beginning to end (though eternal life has no end). You, however, can only become gradually aware of who you are.

God is a constant. His character is perfect and stable. He is the same today as He was in eternity past and the same as He will be in the future. Even though God’s character doesn’t change, He is still open to relationships. He has feelings about His creation. He is moved with compassion.

But we are made in God’s image, not the other way around. We share some characteristics of God, but He will always have more because He is God and we are not. God’s ways are higher than our ways. He is always several steps ahead of us.

God is love. If God is constant, then so is His love. What does this mean for you? It’s possible to break free from anxious moments. No matter how low you’ve been in life, God’s plan of redemption will eventually bring you higher. Your worth is based on who you are, not what you’ve done. You can change and leave the past behind.

Your Value of You is Changing

Your memories begin much later than God’s. From your perspective, you start out of God’s favor and must become in His favor. Before becoming a Christian, all you know is an antagonistic (at worst) or an indifferent (at best) relationship with God. Your start in debt. You are helpless to save yourself. You will be indebted to God for saving your life.

The prodigal son returned to God not with the attitude of a son, but as a lowly person undeserving of God’s goodness toward those He favors. The father treated his son as a son. The prodigal didn’t refuse his father’s offer. He went to the party his father threw for him. Read Luke 15:11-32 for the whole story.

Over the course of the story, the prodigal’s opinion of himself changed from “high apart from God” to “low apart from God” to “humble but accepting of God’s favor.” We can infer that he eventually felt overwhelmingly positive about himself because of God’s love.

Can you see how you are going through the same journey? How far along are you in accepting God’s favor? When life goes well, it’s easy to be over-confident. Prideful people believe that they don’t need God. One way or another life brings prideful people low. In a moment of weakness, it is a gift for people can recognize their need for God.

A person dependent upon God will develop genuine confidence that is balanced. You can have high self-worth if you base your worth on what God says about you. The truth of what God says will set you free from self-doubt.

What are some self-doubting beliefs that are holding you back from living your life with greatness? God doesn’t want you to live oppressed. That’s the work of the devil. God doesn’t want you to live arrogantly either, unable to see that all good things come from Him. That would also be the devil’s work.

God wants you to know your incredible value and know His incredible value. When you truly value both, you’ll be unstoppable.

Meaning And Pleasure Are Surprising Related

July 31, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Would you rather your life be meaningful or enjoyable? That’s a tough choice, isn’t it? What if you could have both? Actually, I believe you can’t have one without the other. A life that isn’t meaningful can’t be enjoyable for very long. Likewise, a life that isn’t enjoyable can’t be meaningful for very long.

What Makes Life Meaningful?

Something is meaningful if it has enough depth to last beyond the present moment. A mosquito might buzz by your ear. Then it’s forgotten. But if a butterfly lands on your arm, pauses, and then flies away, that is more remarkable. What you remember is certainly meaningful to you.

If you spend your whole life working, you might accomplish something at first, but it won’t be sustainable. All work and no play is dehumanizing. We aren’t machines.

Contributing without consuming doesn’t remain productive for long. There is only so much your efforts are meant to accomplish. There is only so much you can do. Working harder can’t make up for what only God can do. After that, any more effort is only wasted effort. Working more hours becomes a distraction rather than an essential part of life.

Meaning also comes from recognizing that God is in control. He is the one flying the plane. He is the one keeping it in the air. We are passengers. But this doesn’t mean we should be passive. Meaning comes from what you can contribute, up to a point.

Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Psalm 127:1 NIV

What Makes Life Pleasurable?

God’s definition of pleasure is different than the world’s. The world defines pleasure as feeling good in the moment. It’s the opposite of meaningful. Worldly pleasure is quickly forgotten. God-created pleasure is also inspirational and hopeful.

If you spend your whole life seeking worldly pleasure, you might have fun at first, but it won’t be sustainable. Consuming without contributing doesn’t remain fun for long. Fun for fun’s sake lacks depth. A life without meaning will be empty.

Enjoying life in God’s way adds meaning. It reminds us that life is worth living. That’s priceless. There are times when there is nothing left to do… when additional efforts don’t help. In those moments, the best we can do is trust God to handle life’s challenges and find ways to continue enjoying life.

Working hard to know God and carry out the part of His plan that He has delegated to us is a pleasurable activity. Nothing is more meaningful than playing a part in fulfilling God’s plans.

Enhance Meaning by Resting and Trusting in God

What makes life worth living? Knowing you have significance is near the top of the list. What you do matters. But it’s more than that. What happens to you also matters. God cares about what happens to us. To think He doesn’t is to give up all hope.

Both work and pleasure are meaningless unless they are first inspired by God. The combined efforts of God and believers are a true accomplishment (John 4:30-34).

A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?
Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 NIV

We can’t make anything last beyond this moment without God (John 15:5). Enjoying your work is also impossible without God.

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
Ecclesiates 3:12-14 NIV

Relying too much on ability and too little on God can shift your ability from a strength to a weakness. If you want to enter into God’s rest, then don’t push yourself to accomplish more than your Maker intends. Work hard. Stress less. Enjoy life. Leave the rest to God.

More about working hard and enjoying life.
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Crave Optimal Ways Of Living

July 17, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

What would you consider to be the optimal lifestyle? Do you wish you could be independently wealthy? Do you wish you could be a superhero? Perhaps your aspirations aren’t so lofty. Maybe all you hope for is to not be so extremely poor or lonely or hurt.

The simple life is an optimal way of living. Fabricating a disguise to hide who you are complicates life. Having too much or too little complicates life.

O God, I beg two favors from you;
    let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
    Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
    Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
    And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.
Proverbs 30:7-9 NLT

Optimal Living: Not Too Low

No one craves to be poor or depressed. But some people choose to default to an understimulating life. They’ve given up on trying to make life more interesting. Having too little to do leads to boredom. People who feel bored feel useless. They lack a sense of purpose.

If life becomes so easy that people no longer need to put any effort into it, why do they need to exist? They can live only to enjoy this life. They can consume but no longer need to produce anything of value.

A hard worker has plenty of food,
but a person who chases fantasies has no sense.
Proverbs 12:11 NLT

People who chase fantasies or retire early only to pursue self-indulgence have lost their lives. They are missing out on the abundant life God has for them (Matthew 10:39).

God has a plan for every person. Every believer has something to contribute to God’s plan to grow and strengthen His kingdom. If believers are bored, it’s because they are ignoring God’s call on their lives.

Optimal Living: Not Too High

If you won the lottery, you probably wouldn’t voluntarily give the money back. But sometimes too much of a good thing is dangerous.

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.
1 Timothy 6:10 NLT

Having too much can be a massive distraction. If people are preoccupied with money, they can’t be focused on God.

The same applies to people who are too stressed. Too many earthly responsibilities can distract a person from pursuing God’s kingdom.

Optimal Living: Just Right

The person who is bored and the person who is overwhelmed are both blinded. They are under-challenged and over-challenged. When life becomes either too easy or too hard, people usually give up. The bored person says I have nothing worthwhile to do. And the overwhelmed person says It’s impossible to do anything worthwhile.

People who experience the optimal life have found the sweet spot between those extremes. To produce the maximum amount of enjoyment, tasks need to be, on average, challenging enough for us to wonder if we’re going to complete them, but not so challenging that we become convinced we will never be able to complete them.

God made you in such a way that you are healthiest and happiest when you desire to accomplish something that is somewhat of a stretch for you. This applies not only to work but also to play.

Soccer wouldn’t be much fun for the players or spectators if every shot went in. Where is the fun in that? It’s not exciting. Likewise, if no shot ever went in, what would be the point? After a predictable pattern emerged, no one would want to play (ever).

A mixture of unpredictability along with possibility maximizes life satisfaction.

If you think about it, that presents a clear picture of who God is. God is unpredictable but also full of potential. Whether we are in this life or the next, we can always look to God with wonder. What will we learn about Him next? What is He going to do next?

Life won’t be boring or overwhelming in heaven, it will be optimal.

What Heaven Will Be Like
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