What is it good for?
Forgivess is supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. It heals conflict within people, between people, and between people and God. Forgiveness removes bitterness, a cancerous blockage that infects and destroys people and relationships.
Failure to forgive is often the main obstacle to moving forward in freedom. Forgive can be broken down into “give for”, therefore, it is something God gives to us, we give to others, and others give to us.
What is it?
- Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them
- Choosing to keep no records of wrong
- Refusing to punish
- Not telling what they did (not gossiping)
- Being merciful
- Absense of bitterness
What isn’t it?
- Approval of what was done to you
- Excusing what they did
- Justifying what they did
- Pardoning what they did
- Reconciliation of the relationship
- Denying what they did
- Forgetting
- Refusing to take the wrong seriously
- Pretending you are not hurt
Reflections
He who cannot forgive another breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself.
– George Herbert
To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
– C.S. Lewis
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
– Leo Tolstoy
The most powerful agent of growth and transformation is something much more basic than any technique: a change of heart.
– John Welwood
When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
– Dr. Robert Anthony
Nothing is easy to the unwilling.
– Thomas Fuller
Resources
Book – Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall
– provides a comprehensive explanation of what forgiveness is and what it is not
Book – What’s So Amazing About Grace by Phillip Yancy
– provides a compeling case for no strings attached forgiveness
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I choose as an act of my will to forgive [person]. I forgive [person] for [list of specific offenses]. I release [person]. I ask you to forgive [person] for all these things as well and that you do not hold these things against [person] on my account.
Heavenly Father, I ask you to forgive me for holding unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, etc., in my heart towards [person]. I receive your forgiveness now and your cleansing of my heart from all unrighteousness.
Heavenly Father, forgive me for holding resentment towards you for allowing these hurts to happen to me. If I have any more negative feelings stored up in me towards [person], I ask you to cleanse them from me now. I open myself to replace these negative emotions with the fruit of your Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience…)
Heavenly Father, I ask you now to heal the wounded places in my soul. Heal every memory of those offenses so that I can look back on them, realistically accepting they were hurtful, but also trusting you have healed the hurt. Enable me to use this experience to help others with whom I come into contact.
Heavenly Father, bless [person] with your abundant mercy. Prosper [person] in every way. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
