Archives for April 2020

On The Fringe: The Truth About The Struggle To Belong

April 25, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

Fringe, a TV show about weird, scientifically unexplainable events in the universe, debuted in 2008. It drew my interest at first because of the possibilities of the unknown. Because, well, exploring the mysteries of life is exciting.

“Fringe” can have a much broader definition than scientific anomalies. It has a connotation of “flaky” or “fragile.” If someone is teetering on the edge of an abyss they are on the fringe. They are one step away from slipping out of a meaningful existence. They are like Frodo when he puts on the evil ring; he must fight to not be drawn into the shadow world.

Non-Christians are on the Fringe

Without Christ, it’s easy to become lost in an endless pursuit of mysterious unknowns. Maybe there is something of substance beyond the fringe? Maybe an alien race is monitoring our every move. What else is out there?

You can become hooked on the lottery for the same reasons. Having lots of money sounds good, so it must be a good idea to buy into the lottery. I’ve got nothing else to do. I’ve got nothing to lose. — even though the odds of winning are small. You might say you have a fringe of a chance.

The craving to seek and discover is a good (God-given) desire. However, some people will tenaciously pursue strange, made-up phenomena, while at the same time refusing to acknowledge the existence of a real God that cries out to them through His creation.

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.
Romans 1:20 NIV

One definition of fringe is being “at the part of something that is farthest from the center.” This describes non-Christians quite well. They are present, able to see but choosing to face away from the center and pursue the outermost fringes of God’s creation. They keep hoping to find the fulfillment of their inner hunger in anything but God.

Are You, Christian, on The Fringe?

Another definition of fringe is “not completely belonging to or accepted by a group of people who share the same job, activities, etc.” It’s possible to be a Christian and know Christ, but still feel like you are on the fringe. This shouldn’t be so.

Do you feel like you are on the fringe? Are you hanging in the balance? Do you know you have worth, but can’t seem to feel your true worth in Christ?

Christ calls all who belong to Him to move toward Him. Because of His awesome sacrifice, all who are far away from the center are able to move toward the center.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:16 NIV

“I am weird” and “I am worthless” are lies. Just because others don’t understand you (even other Christians) or you haven’t found a way to meet your needs doesn’t mean you are fringe material. Every one of God’s people belongs.

Living according to God’s plan for you means you will need to walk a different path than others walk. You have God’s favor as you walk on the path He made for you (see John 21:20-23).

God smiles as He thinks of you. God is always thinking about you. God is smiling at you. Look up to see His face.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
Psalm 34:5 NLT

Learn more about belonging.
More on the TV show at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fringe_(TV_series)
Definition from https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/on-the-fringes-of-something
Image by Aravind kumar from Pixabay

God Is Perfect

April 19, 2020 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 2 minutes

How do you feel about God? How much do you trust Him? Nothing is more important than your trust in God.

If there was one truth to rule them all it would be, “God is perfect.” Try an experiment. Count God as thoroughly perfect. Now, how much can you trust Him? Has your hope increased? If you can’t bring yourself to believe He is perfect, maybe you feel more discouraged.

When I think of God as perfect, it starts to correct my image of Him. I feel more positive toward Him and then I feel more hopeful.

Is God Perfect?

Do you ever find yourself resisting that God is perfect? It can be easy to doubt God is perfect. Globally, many difficult things have happened, are happening, and will continue to happen. It’s the “continue to happen” that makes it easy to doubt.

Can God be perfect if He allows bad things to continue to happen? This question causes many people to stumble in their faith.

If you start to seriously doubt God, you move into a place of judgment. Putting God on trial is the beginning of the end. Nothing good can come from distancing yourself from the only one who can help you. I discuss this and more in my book, To Identity and Beyond.

Until we are in heaven, life will continue to be a struggle. Since we are not there yet, this life is all we know. You have to make up your mind about God with the evidence you gain from your life.

Regardless of how good or bad life seems, you have a powerful choice to make. Will you devote your allegiance to God? Will you align your spirit to His Spirit?

If you refuse, you will experience some natural consequences.

Believing God Has Faults Harms You

If God is perfect, then failing to believe and act accordingly will be harmful to you. It is possible that all of us experience a deterioration in our health to the degree we live like God is imperfect. That’s scary!

Believing God is imperfect and then failing to trust Him carries with it consequences like:

Increased fear, anxiety, and worry
Increased need for control
Increased desire to be self-sufficient
Increased isolation and loneliness
Increased despair
Increased frustration and anger

Can it be any other way? Comment and let me know what you think.

Meditate on God’s Perfection

Try an experiment this week. Remind yourself of God’s perfection. Whenever you set your mind on God, think about how absolutely perfect He is. Notice how you feel. If you feel negative, that’s probably an indicator of some spiritual work you need to do. If you feel more positive, notice how that changed for you. What changed?

After you try this for a week, check on what insights you gained about God and yourself? Do you feel more peaceful and hopeful?

Be Imperfect But Live Strong Anyway

April 11, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

You can be less than perfect but still unmistakably valuable. You might hear “Nobody is perfect” after someone makes a mistake. But that phrase might also mean no one can be everything to everybody. You can be flawed and perfect at the same time.

To be imperfect and a Christian simply means that you aren’t living up to your ideal self. You need to mature into who God made you to be. The only way to be perfect is to trust God will fulfill His promise to completely sanctify you. God has the power to fully disinfect you from all sin.

You Are Imperfect

How positive are you about yourself? Can you look at yourself, see your brokenness, or even your sinful behaviors, and still know you are completely loved by God? Can you be limited in your abilities, flawed, and valuable? As you find the answers to these questions you will be able to live with strength and confidence.

Our hearts long for the end of all that is wrong, but in this life only God is perfect. We must live with less than ideal circumstances whether we like it or not.

One way to cope with imperfection is by employing all-or-nothing thinking. It’s useful when you can’t stand to look at your flaws. Like all coping, it stops the pain but a lack of felt discomfort doesn’t mean you are thriving.

If any imperfection means you are worthless, then you must believe you can’t make mistakes if you want to be valuable. The only way to achieve this is through denial of reality. Therefore, all-or-nothing thinking increases the likelihood of impulsive decisions and obsessive behaviors. Fear motivates the all-or-nothing thinker to attempt the impossible. Because it is impossible, more fear is generated. This never-ending cycle is like an addiction.

You Are Perfect

If someone or something isn’t perfect, what good is it? Does God only love you because He’s got no one better to love? No! God made you in His image, so you already have the highest value possible.

There’s no need to strive for perfection because you already have it. The only real flaw you have is the sin living within you. But Jesus has already crucified your sin.

So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:11 NLT

To be all-in for God is healthy, but all-or-nothing thinking is unhealthy. God has no flaws, so there is no harm in fully trusting Him. Yet, it’s normal to struggle to trust Him when you are suffering.

Since you aren’t perfect (yet) you will only harm yourself if you can’t accept yourself with your flaws. It’s okay if you aren’t your ideal self yet. God’s design of you is perfect. He has set you free from your flaws and He isn’t finished with you yet.

Healthy thinking results in self-control, peace, and compassion. You can slow down and realize that you have everything you need in the present moment.

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.
2 Peter 1:3 NLT

Responding in fear (worrying) doesn’t help. Worrying is like driving your car in neutral or rocking in a chair. Both expend energy, but neither get you anywhere real.

Extreme behavior is often wasteful. The best approach stops at good enough. Instead of wasting your energy, why not channel it into activities that benefit others or you?

Has your life become extreme and therefore imbalanced in any way? The opposite of worry is trust. If you want to be imperfect live strong anyway, consider God’s words to Israel:

The holy Lord God of Israel
    had told all of you,
“I will keep you safe
if you turn back to me
    and calm down.
I will make you strong
    if you quietly trust me.”
Isaiah 30:15 CEV

What steps can you take to regain balance (give up worrying and self-reliance) and therefore increase your peace and efficiency?

Image by 272447 from Pixabay

Choose Between Being Stubborn Or Tenacious

April 5, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 4 minutes

To be stubborn is to cling to the status quo, especially when it’s not optimal. Stubbornness is the approach of people who do not like change. If there is a good side to being stubborn, that’s called being tenacious. Tenacity is perfect when what is already in place is the best. Tenacity is also perfect for an unwavering pursuit of the truth.

Stubbornness has a negative connotation of holding onto something that isn’t worth it. Tenacity has a positive connotation of holding onto something worthwhile–the truth. The truth can be in hand or out of reach. Either way, the tenacious person lets nothing stand in the way of the truth.

What happens when a life event challenges your belief system? That’s an identity crisis. It can be extremely disorienting. The most positive outcome of an identity crisis is the establishment of a firmer grasp of the truth. Of course, then, a negative outcome would be to lose the truth–to spiral further away from it into chaos. Such a person is truly lost.

A lack of identity feels like sinking without reaching a firm bottom. You feel squishy, inadequate, and ashamed. A crisis can help strengthen your identity. In this sense, what doesn’t disorient you only makes you stronger.

To be truly stubborn is to cling to your biases even when they are irrational (and false). In this sense, stubbornness chooses self over God. It’s also a cry to be recognized for who you are.

Choose Stubbornness For Stability

Change can be stressful. Sometimes the status quo is a valid choice. Life can be intimidating sometimes. It’s okay to stop and catch your breath. But a quick fix won’t last long. A consistent pattern of avoidance isn’t healthy. Because the need for stability is so strong, it’s possible to settle for a false sense of security.

Stubborn people pursue self-protection even when it costs them their integrity. They might lie and people-please to minimize their contact with reality. Stubborn people are foolish (prideful). They are like the people who build their houses on the sand instead of the rock. Their houses might go up quickly, but they won’t last nearly as long as the houses built upon the rock.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Matthew 7:24-27 ESV

Stubborn people are short-sighted. They cling to what is immediately good at the cost of what is ultimately good. The need to feel gratified creates a strong temptation to remain biased. People are irrational. They can believe that right is wrong and wrong is right when doing so validates their current behavior.

Experiencing inner stability is essential. You should seek to achieve it first. But then, if you want life to be meaningful, the next step is to seek the truth. Stability is not an end in itself; it is only a place of rest on the way to the truth.

Choose Tenacity For Truth

As disruptive as the truth might be, it’s the only way to construct a firm foundation. In order to seek God and His truth, you must be willing to give up the false security of your biases. To be tenacious, you must humble yourself. The good news is that God accepts the humble person, giving them grace (James 4:6).

Tenacity has positive, forward momentum. A tenacious person pursues a higher goal without ever giving up. Sometimes the truth stings. But the tenacious person welcomes the truth even when it produces a temporary wound.

Tenacious people are willing to look at whatever inaccuracies, faults, or flat-out lies are preventing them from moving forward. They care more about the higher cause than how comfortable they are. Therefore, they are willing to give up their self-protective pretenses.

How about you? Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort in order to build something lasting?

If so, it’s okay to start small. The direction you travel is more important than your current position. Take the risk to be tenacious and you will never be lost.

Learn more about traveling by faith.
Image by Azmi Talib from Pixabay
Last edited 2023/08/06