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Brokenness Is Beautiful

Brokenness Is Beautiful

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Reading time: 3 minutes

When you can see your brokenness, you see yourself as you really are. It’s a wonderful moment of freedom from pretense. Seeing brokenness is simply another way to perceive what you are lacking.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 NIV

Since God is the ultimate source of all we lack, we should welcome becoming aware of our brokenness. Why is it often so terrifying then? Believe it or not, it’s possible to fear something good. We crave consistency. After we start depending on something or someone, we don’t want it to go away.

If we lack something good we can fear both:

  • that we’ll never receive what we need.
  • that what we receive will inevitably be taken away.

Both fears are realistic, yet, painful. Both are ultimately rooted in doubting God is who He says He is. God gives good things to those who believe and ask.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Hebrews 11:6; Matthew 7:11 NIV

Fear Makes Brokenness Ugly

So you can see how when fear is present, needs and desires can become completely overwhelming. If you’ve lived with deprivation for a long time, you know what I mean.

If your needs go unmet, you lose touch with what it’s like to have them met. Often this means living with an awareness that you don’t know what it is like to have them met. The longer this continues, the more difficult it is to trust it will ever be different. And, if it does happen, it will be doubly painful to lose it.

Anyone who experiences the trauma of abuse or neglect usually lives with a sense of deprivation. Abuse and neglect break trust which is essential if you want to risk the vulnerability required to have your needs met. Deprivation can be so painful that it is often more intense than the original trauma.

Coping Forever Prevents Healing

Depriving yourself for any length of time usually requires numbing your desires. If you can’t feel your hunger (emotional needs), it’s nearly impossible to over-eat (be self-centered). Unfortunately though, it is possible to under-eat (be deprived).

Cutting off your cravings for love and acceptance is a coping mechanism called dissociation. I believe dissociation to be a necessary coping to manage intense trauma. However, all coping is meant to be temporary until genuine healing and transformation are available and the person is ready.

How much a person relies on coping depends on at least two factors:

  • The intensity of the pain experienced from trauma.
  • The availability of a safe-enough relationship that promotes healing.

The intensity of the pain is mostly subjective. Some people can tolerate more pain than others. But the more the event is severe enough and prolonged enough, and if the person doesn’t have access to a caring person, the more extreme coping is needed.

One of the most intense efforts to cope with trauma is dissociation. When it becomes a mental health disorder it’s called dissociative-identity-disorder (DID).

For a person with DID, their self-awareness becomes divided into multiple parts in order to survive trauma. Therapy involves integrating the parts so that all parts receive needed healing. The end result is a person with a sense of being one integrated person (no longer needing “multiple parts”).

Another word for dissociated is broken. Everyone is broken. On this side of heaven, the opposite of being broken is being in denial. Meaning: if I can’t see my brokenness, I must be denying it.

Embrace your brokenness because it is what will drive you to God. He can help you become free from the trauma and deprivation you’ve been through.

Push Through Fear And Find Hope
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Complete Your Training To Resist Evil

Complete Your Training To Resist Evil

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Reading time: 5 minutes

In Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda challenges Luke Skywalker, “you must complete the training.” Yoda knew that Luke wasn’t ready yet to face his ultimate trial in a fight against Darth Vader.

How are you doing in your battle against the evil spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12)? To reach a place of confidence in overcoming life problems, you must complete your training.

God’s school for persevering and winning against evil is called “life.” To complete the transformative journey, you must pass through four steps.

Step 1 Training: Overcome Resistance

Luke works for his Aunt and Uncle but isn’t happy as a farmer. He feels duty-bound to help them so he refuses to leave them. His hope to join the academy remains an unfulfilled dream. He is out of place. He isn’t pursuing his calling.

What is blocking you from attaining your dreams? In what ways are you resisting God’s call to adventure in your life? Step one’s purpose is to increase your level of frustration with your current life so much that you are willing to risk making a change. It is characterized by:

  • Pride that covers the pain of your life.
  • Believing lies such as “what others want for me is more important than what I want or what God wants for me.”
  • Resisting God’s call to spiritual growth.
  • Attempting to cope to remain self-sufficient.

Too much pride will destroy you.

Proverbs 16:18 CEV

By the time you finish step one, you are ready to seek the help of a counselor.

Step 2 Training: Commit To Recovery

Luke meets his mentor, Obi-Wan, and agrees to go with him to Alderaan. He learns he has other allies (Han, Chewbacca, Princess Leia) as well as enemies (Darth Vader and the empire). But he and his friends face a huge setback when Alderaan is destroyed.

What setbacks have brought further discouragement into your life, just when you decided to get help? Instead of turning back to your old ways, commit to your emotional recovery. Step two’s purpose is to solidify your reason why you want to pursue change. It is characterized by:

  • Being humbled enough to be willing to seek help.
  • Being willing to consider how the truth applies to your life.
  • Accepting God as good–that He has a plan worth following.
  • Acknowledging your problems and dysfunctional behaviors.

Too much pride can put you to shame.
It’s wiser to be humble.

Proverbs 11:2 CEV

By the time you finish step two, you have uncovered so much pain that you have no choice but to rely on God and other allies.

Step 3 Training: Learn To Trust

Luke fights his way out of the death star with Princess Leia but loses Obi-Wan. He struggles for his freedom only to experience greater suffering with the loss of his mentor.

I see Obi-Wan’s sacrifice and pronouncement that he will become even more powerful as similar to Christ being crucified and becoming more powerful as someone who has defeated death.

What painful memories continue to hold you back from pursuing your dreams? Instead of running from challenges, face them and be transformed by them. Find out what is most important to you. Step three’s purpose is to shift your focus onto how powerful God is and how positive your life is. It is characterized by:

  • Being vulnerable so you can receive the emotional healing you need.
  • Confronting the lies you believe with the truth so can freely move forward in life.
  • Accepting suffering as unavoidable at times and even beneficial.
  • Realizing that God is worthy of your trust.

The Lord’s people may suffer a lot,
but he will always bring them safely through.

Psalm 34:19 CEV

Even David went through years of training while defending his sheep from bears and other beasts (1 Samuel 17:34-37). By the time you finish step three, your training has prepared you to face the Goliath-sized problems.

Step 4 Training: Walk By Faith

Luke joins the rebels, trusts his mentor’s guidance, and destroys the death star. He is no longer self-sufficient. He is trusting in a power greater than himself. He becomes a hero that can inspire others.

What Goliath-sized problem is looming large over your life? How has God proven Himself faithful to you? Look for the opportunities to prove your training has accomplished its purpose. Step four’s purpose is to test your faith as you fulfill your God-planned destiny. It is characterized by:

  • Confidence in your ability to face problems with God’s help.
  • Embracing the truth to overcome doubts and other spiritual attacks.
  • Resisting evil by not giving it any room to thrive.
  • Faithful dependence on God for strength.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear.

Psalm 46:1-2 NIV

By the time you finish step four, your journey is complete. You are ready to help others if they want help with their struggles. You can also identify new problems and start the journey again for yourself. Or, maybe you are like Luke and didn’t finish your training the first time around. That’s okay. With God, it’s never too late to start on a journey of transformation. Future posts will cover each of the four steps in greater detail.

Sometimes a mentor can be a person like a counselor. But a mentor can also be a process like the ones in any of my books. Try either of those if you feel unhappy with where you are in life and want some help to complete your training so you can overcome the big problem in your life.

Learn more about freedom as you experience positive change.
Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay

When Joy Feels Elusive And Faith Feels Thin

When Joy Feels Elusive And Faith Feels Thin

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Joy can be elusive, especially when you look in the wrong place.

If you’re hungry for strawberries, where do you get them? Strawberries don’t grow on apple trees. So, there’s little point in looking up a tree.

Where does joy come from? It’s a fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

The Gospel is the only true source of joy. Nothing inspires deeper joy than the Spirit revealing the sacrificial work of Jesus Christ in the hearts of the believer.

Joy is otherworldly. It’s spiritual. It can be difficult to grasp. It doesn’t always make sense when viewed from an isolated moment. It becomes elusive when you search for it in the narrow circumstances of your life, without the context of the Gospel.

But joy becomes logical when you look beyond the present moment. It flows from a truth greater than any fact of your current situation. Real joy is rooted in the reality of salvation. That’s the only way you can suffer and still be joyful at the same time.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3 NIV

Faith Makes Joy Possible

Faith sees beyond the physical to the spiritual reality. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. And where the Spirit is, there is true freedom. Without the Spirit, joy would be impossible.

Joy results from trials because trials reveal the “too good to be true, even though it is true” reality of God’s kingdom. It is always possible because it’s based on the unchanging truth of God’s promises.

And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Luke 23:43 ESV

No matter what is happening to you today, if you are in Christ, then God has prepared a place for you in heaven. But He does not want you to rush there. He has you alive and present for a reason.

While you’re still here, God has a purpose for you. It’s okay to borrow joy from your heavenly future. In fact, that’s the only way to do it. The Spirit makes the heavenly reality known to you today.

Joy in the Middle of the Story

Joy isn’t just for the end of the story—it’s for the middle, too.

We often think joy will come after the resolution: when the diagnosis is reversed, the relationship is restored, the job is secured. But joy, as a fruit of the Spirit, grows in the soil of the present moment—even when that soil feels dry and cracked.

Joy doesn’t require the absence of sorrow. It coexists with it. It’s not a denial of pain but a defiant hope in the midst of it. That’s why Paul could write from prison about rejoicing always (Philippians 4:4). He wasn’t waiting for release to rejoice—he was already free in Christ.

Joy is not the reward for enduring the trial. It’s the companion that walks with you through it.

Enjoy!

Joy is not a reward for good behavior or a prize for spiritual maturity. It’s a gift of the Spirit, available to you now. You don’t have to manufacture it. You don’t have to fake it. You just have to receive it—by contemplating the wonderful Gospel message: Jesus saves people, not by their work, but by His work alone.

So go ahead—enjoy.
Not because life is easy, but because God is good.
Not because everything makes sense, but because His promises are true.
Not because you feel joyful, but because joy is yours in Christ.

Learn more about finding joy.
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Last updated 2025/07/06

I Am Scared I Will Lose My Salvation

I Am Scared I Will Lose My Salvation

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Reading time: 6 minutes

If salvation is secure, why do I still feel so insecure? If I’m in Christ, why do I still fear being cast out—not just by God, but by people? I try to love people well, but I fall short. I can’t always tell whether it’s my failure or theirs. And somewhere in the confusion, I start to wonder: Am I really saved?

Living with that question is like dwelling in a house built on sand. One day, the room feels safe and warm. The next, the ground shifts beneath you, the walls tremble, and you’re not sure the structure will hold. You try to brace it with good behavior, patch it with apologies, reinforce it with spiritual effort—but the anxiety remains.

Evil wants to sift and shake you (Luke 22:31). It discourages. It distorts. It whispers that you’re not enough, that you’ll be abandoned, that you’re one mistake away from collapse. It turns relationships into measuring sticks and failures into verdicts. It makes you question not just your salvation, but your worth.

But God builds differently.

His encouragement isn’t cosmetic—it’s foundational. He doesn’t patch up your insecurities; He replaces them with Himself. In Christ, you’re not living in a fragile structure. You’re anchored to a cornerstone that cannot be moved.

All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.
John 6:37 ESV

Salvation Is Not a Transaction—It’s a Transformation

The gospel isn’t a deal you strike with God. It’s a new birth, a new identity, a new life. When you trust in Christ, you’re not signing a contract—you’re united with Him. You’re not merely forgiven; you’re made new.

This is the heartbeat of my book Secure in Christ. Salvation isn’t a prize you earn or a status you maintain. It’s a gift rooted in the unshakable character of God. It’s not about your grip on Him—it’s about His grip on you.

I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
John 10:28 ESV

Jesus said no one will snatch them from His hand. That’s not poetic exaggeration—it’s a promise.

Why Assurance of Salvation Matters

Without assurance, the Christian life becomes exhausting. You’re always second-guessing, always striving, always fearing. But with assurance, you can rest. You can grow. You can love boldly, serve freely, and worship joyfully.

Assurance doesn’t lead to complacency—it leads to confidence. It’s not the enemy of holiness—it’s the fuel for it. When you know you’re secure, you stop performing and start accepting God’s transforming work.

How Secure in Christ Can Help

This book was born out of years of pastoral care in counseling and theological reflection. It’s for the believer who feels stuck between faith and fear. It’s for those who know the gospel but struggle to feel its weight in their soul—or its stability beneath their feet.

In Secure in Christ, you’ll discover:

  • Why salvation is anchored in God’s nature, not your performance
  • How identity in Christ reshapes your view of sin, failure, and growth
  • What it means to live in and from assurance, not longing for it from a distance
  • How to dismantle the lies that keep you spiritually anxious
  • The freedom that God gives and how it differs from worldly freedom

This isn’t just a book—it’s a blueprint for rebuilding your spiritual house. Not with sand beneath your feet, but with eternal foundations.

You’re Not Meant to Live in Fear

If you’ve been quietly asking, “Am I really saved?”—it’s time to stop living in spiritual limbo. You were never meant to walk on eggshells with God. You were meant to walk in freedom.

Salvation isn’t a tightrope—it’s a foundation. And once you’re in Christ, you’re secure. Not because you’re strong, but because He is. Is your salvation shaky—or solid?

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Matthew 7:24–27 NLT

Jesus teaches that He will never cast out those who belong to Him. So let’s move from confusion to clarity. From fear to faith. From striving to resting.

You are secure in Christ. And it’s time to live like it.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to explore Secure in Christ. It’s not just a book—it’s a place to realize who holds you, then rebuild and rest.

For Reflection

From sand to stone. From striving to resting. From fear to freedom. This is the journey of Secure in Christ.

🫂From Anxiety to Assurance

  • When you think about your salvation, do you feel more like you’re holding onto God—or that He’s holding onto you?
  • What voices in your life have shaped your view of being “enough”? Are they encouraging or discouraging?
  • Do you believe God’s love for you is conditional? What makes you feel that way?

💔From Rejection to Acceptance

  • Have you ever felt rejected by other Christians? How did that affect your view of God?
  • When someone fails to love you well, do you internalize it as your fault—or theirs?
  • How do you respond when you fall short in loving others? Do you spiral into shame or lean into grace?

🏚️ From Sand to Stone

  • What does your spiritual “house” feel like right now—stable or shaky?
  • What parts of your foundation feel built on truth, and what parts feel built on fear?
  • If you could rebuild your spiritual house from scratch, what would you want it to be anchored in?

🔍 From Confusion to Clarity

  • What lies have you believed about salvation that keep you anxious or uncertain?
  • What would change in your life if you truly believed you were secure in Christ?
  • What does “living from assurance” look like in your daily relationships, decisions, and worship?

Lord, help me see the places where I’ve built on sand. Replace my fear with Your foundation. Anchor me in the truth that You will never cast me out. Build me into Your house, secure and whole.

Secure in Christ is a blueprint. Not for patching up your spiritual life—but for rebuilding it on bedrock. You don’t have to live with spiritual anxiety. You can live with assurance. Let Secure in Christ guide you toward the foundation that never fails—and the Savior who never lets go.

Learn more about the security of salvation in Christ.
Secure in Christ is available starting August 29, 2025

Rescue Before Recognition

Rescue Before Recognition

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Reading time: 3 minutes

A diver plunges deep into the ocean, chasing a glimmering object. The pressure mounts. Oxygen fades. Panic sets in. Just as the diver blacks out, a hand breaks through the water—pulling him upward. He awakens on the surface, gasping, surrounded by light and air.

This is not a story of self-rescue. It’s a story of divine intervention.

What was the glimmering object? Why was the diver risking so much to get it? In life, we often chase after things we do not need—things that distract us from pursuing what is good, or even harmful things. We’re drawn to illusions of clarity, success, or fulfillment, diving deeper into confusion while believing we’re getting closer to what we need.

We think we’re pursuing something valuable, but often we’re simply descending into pressure and panic. The deeper we go, the more disoriented we become. And yet, we rarely stop. We seldom ask whether the object we’re chasing is worth the cost.

But what we need most is freely available from God. It doesn’t require risky behavior or heroic effort. It requires connecting with God’s life, love, and truth. God rescues people from the depths of their trouble because they cannot find safety. He doesn’t wait for us to reach the surface because it would be too late. He meets us in the depths.

In Secure in Christ, I explore how assurance begins not with our grasp of God, but with His grip on us. The diver didn’t choose the rescue. He didn’t signal for help. He was unconscious—incapable of saving himself. And yet, he was saved. When God saves us by His strength, He also keeps us saved the same way. The rescue is not dependent on our awareness, our effort, or our ability to hold on. It’s rooted in His initiative and sustained by His power.

God’s Rescue Is Not Transactional

We often imagine salvation as a mutual agreement—our decision, our prayer, our moment of clarity. But Scripture paints a more radical picture:

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Romans 5:8 NLT

God doesn’t wait for permission. He intervenes at the brink. His rescue precedes our awareness. His love reaches into our darkness before we even understand we’re lost. And once awakened, we know the truth of it—we’ve been pulled from death to life.

This is the wonder of grace: that God acts first. He rescues not the strong, but the helpless. He doesn’t negotiate terms—He resurrects people from the dead. And once He gives life, He doesn’t revoke it. His rescue is not a temporary fix—it’s a permanent transformation.

God’s Rescue Is Robust

The diver awakens to light and air. He doesn’t need to be convinced that he was drowning. He knows. And he knows he’s been saved.

That’s the essence of assurance:

  • Not a feeling we conjure, but a reality we awaken to.
  • Not a fragile hope, but a firm foundation.
  • Not a transaction, but a transformation.

Assurance isn’t about maintaining a spiritual performance. It’s about recognizing the permanence of God’s work. It’s about breathing freely in the light of His grace, knowing that the rescue was real—and that it holds.

Connecting the Story to Your Journey

If you’ve ever felt like you’re sinking—chasing something that promised relief but delivered confusion—my book Secure in Christ is your invitation to stop striving and start breathing: to recognize that the hand of God has already reached into your chaos and pulled you into His light.

People cannot rescue themselves. As a believer, you don’t have to prove your worth. You don’t need to reach for rescue—you need only awaken to it.

Learn more about safety and God’s rescue.
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How To Make Trusting God Easier

How To Make Trusting God Easier

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Are you trusting God more or less than you were yesterday? If you are trusting Him less than you used to, perhaps something has happened to cause you to give up on God. God promises you are not wasting your time when you seek Him, trust Him, and make your requests known to Him.

Trusting God throughout your day can be challenging because of distractions. Some distractions are positive and some are negative. Either way, consider how much you have increased your trust in God today. The best thing you can accomplish each day is to end it by trusting God a little more.

Strengthening your faith requires an intentional effort to cleanse negative memories with God’s truth. If you want to trust God more, you must apply biblical truth to infected memories. Infected memories cause you to doubt God’s character.

Trust God Because He Knows Everything

In Isaiah 46, God says much about who He is and what He likes to do. God promises He will act. He isn’t a worthless idol. God doesn’t forget about you. He knows your future, so of course, He knows your past. He’s been attending to you since even before you were born.

I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born.

Isaiah 46:3 NLT

Trust God Because He Keeps You Safe

But that’s not all. God proclaims that He will care for you and carry you throughout your future.

I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.

Isaiah 46:4 NLT

If you put your trust in something other than God, you will be disappointed. But God cares about you enough to rescue you from trouble.

[An idol] can’t even move! And when someone prays to it, there is no answer. It can’t rescue anyone from trouble.

Isaiah 46:7 NLT

God has already rescued you and is more than capable of keeping you safe.

Trust God Because He is in Control

God is in complete control of the past, present, and future. Only God can make such bold statements as these:

Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Isaiah 46:9-10 NLT

God can and will do whatever He wants. For those who are friends of God, this should provide increased comfort and trust. For those who are yet enemies of God, this is likely scary and irritating. I remember the emptiness I felt when I was unable to understand who God is.

Memories Can Help You Trust God

If you are a believer, then you must have some positive memories. At the very least, God has done a work in your life to cause you to cross over from death to life. Can you remember what that felt like? I remember how uplifting and hopeful I felt when I first believed.

Remembering what God has done in your life is a source of spiritual strength. When you recall the ways God has touched your life, it helps you trust Him with current life challenges. When God breaks into your life, that’s God building trust with you. Use it for all it’s worth to make your faith solid.

As you focus on the positive, be equally willing to revisit the negative memories. These significant life events desperately need to be considered in light of the truth you now know. Learn details of how to cleanse hurtful memories so you can trust God more.

God is real. Let’s pray with anticipation of the good things He will do. No matter what is happening around us, God is still good and in control.

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Last Updated 2024/09/22

Trusting God After Buying Deception

Trusting God After Buying Deception

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Reading time: 4 minutes

How grace rebuilds your trust after a costly compromise. The road to recovery can be long, but it’s worth the effort.

Deception Erodes Trust

Recently, I missed a meeting—just a scheduling mistake. With time to spare, I wandered past a bookstore and felt the tug to step inside. I wasn’t looking for anything, just passing time. Ten minutes later, I walked out with three books I hadn’t planned to buy. They were on sale, and two were Christian titles. That makes it okay… right?

There was no pressure. No clever pitch. Just quiet curiosity. But later I realized: this is how deception often works.

If Satan were a salesman, he wouldn’t lead with blatant evil. He’d offer something good, cloaked in logic that feels reasonable. “Books are for learning. Surely God doesn’t want you to stay ignorant?”

The deceiver doesn’t shove. He suggests. He rebrands desire as wisdom, indulgence as growth. He offers reasons that feel noble while eroding trust. And it’s not really about books—it’s about how innocent decisions can quietly plant seeds of doubt.

Satan’s Whisper Erodes Trust

Satan doesn’t announce his lies—he murmurs them. He doesn’t need control—just enough permission to shift your gaze.

In Eden, he didn’t accuse—he suggested. He framed God as withholding, twisting truth just enough to create suspicion. That whisper hasn’t changed. It still echoes:

  • You deserve more.
  • God hasn’t been fair.
  • Why would a good God allow this?

Sometimes it hides behind self-doubt: I’m not enough. God must be disappointed.
Sometimes it rides on unhealed hunger: I need more success. More control. Just one more click, one more step to feel secure.

Every whisper shares one root: God is not perfectly good.

The All-or-Nothing Nature of Trust

God doesn’t ask us to trust Him halfway. Either He’s completely good, or He’s not trustworthy at all. A God with even a trace of darkness would no longer be safe. If He could change, lie, or withhold without purpose, then what hope remains?

The deceiver doesn’t need to unravel our theology in one stroke. He just has to convince us that God is slightly less than perfect—just enough for fear, suspicion, and control to creep in.

Once you entertain the idea that God may not be fully good, your foundations start to crumble. Doubt spreads. Security fades. You begin to search for goodness elsewhere—in performance, people, possessions.

This is why trusting God’s character is not abstract theology—it’s daily survival.

Those who know your name trust in you,
    for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
    Psalm 9:10 NIV

Healing the Trust Deficit

If you’re struggling to believe that God is good, you may be experiencing a positive experience deficit—a soul-level hunger for reassurance that God hasn’t abandoned you. And that deficit can’t be ignored or stuffed down with more information. It needs healing.

Ask God to show you His goodness again—not in grand gestures, but in the small kindnesses you’re tempted to overlook. A timely word from a friend. A moment of peace in your day. A Scripture that pierces through your fog.

Even a glimpse of God’s goodness can rekindle your trust. Because if He’s good in one place, He must be good everywhere. His character is indivisible. And when that goodness begins to live in you—not just as doctrine, but as experience—it reshapes how you see pain, identity, and even failure.

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV

Leaning into Trust

How would your self-image change if you believed—fully and without reservation—that God is perfectly good? What decisions would you make differently? What fears could you lay down?

The deceiver wants you to second-guess God’s heart. But the Spirit invites you to rest in it. You don’t have to earn God’s goodness. You just have to taste it. Let it anchor you. Let it silence the hiss that says, God is holding out on you. He isn’t. He never has.

Overflowing Trust

Trust isn’t just a shelter—it’s a spring. When you’ve tasted God’s goodness in weakness, your confidence shifts from striving to resting. And when trust stops being conditional—based on outcomes, feelings, or performance—it becomes generative. It bears fruit even in drought.

The same Spirit who whispered comfort when you were compromised is now anchoring you in clarity. What once felt fractured is now fertile. What once felt shameful is now sacred—a testimony of grace rebuilding what deception tried to erode. This is the paradox of redemption:

  • The compromise becomes a classroom.
  • The whisper becomes a warning bell.
  • The deficit becomes overflow.

God doesn’t just restore your trust—He refines it. And when you trust His character fully, fear loses its voice.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 NIV

Learn more about how to trust God.
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Last updated 20250803

Is God’s Love Uncontrolling?

Is God’s Love Uncontrolling?

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Recently, I read a blog post that thoughtfully explored the nature of God’s love, suggesting that divine love is “inherently uncontrolling.” The author, drawing from Thomas Oord’s theology, raised important questions about how we experience God’s power and whether control is compatible with love. While I appreciate the heart behind this reflection—especially the emphasis on God’s gentleness and compassion—I believe Scripture paints a fuller picture of a God whose love is not diminished by His sovereignty, but upheld by it.

God’s Sovereignty Is Not Domination

It’s true that God doesn’t override our humanity or force us into robotic obedience. But His control is not oppressive—it’s purposeful and redemptive. The Bible consistently reveals a God who actively governs all things according to His will. As Paul writes:

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.

Ephesians 1:11 ESV

God’s sovereignty is not passive. It’s the reason we can trust that history is moving toward His intended end. He doesn’t always act with immediate force, but nothing He wills ultimately fails.

Transformation, Not Coercion

Consider Saul’s dramatic conversion. One moment he was persecuting Christians; the next, he was proclaiming Christ. God didn’t violate Saul’s will—He revealed Himself so powerfully that Saul’s heart was changed. God gave him a new nature, one that desired Him. This is the essence of salvation: God initiates, transforms, and secures. Our response is awe and gratitude, not resistance.

If God’s will were contingent on human cooperation, salvation would be fragile. But Jesus assures us that those the Father gives Him will come to Him—and He will lose none (John 6, 10, 15). God’s love doesn’t compete with His control; it’s expressed through it.

Does 1 Corinthians 13 Deny Divine Control?

Oord’s interpretation of 1 Corinthians 13 suggests that love “does not force itself on others,” implying that God’s love must be non-controlling. But this reading stretches beyond the text. Paul’s description of love emphasizes humility and endurance—not a denial of divine authority.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…

1 Corinthians 13:4–5 ESV

“Not insisting on its own way” speaks to selfishness, not sovereignty. God’s love is not self-serving, but that doesn’t mean He relinquishes control over creation, redemption, or judgment. In fact, His control is what ensures that love triumphs over evil.

Power That Secures Salvation

Paul declares:

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes…

Romans 1:16 ESV

God’s power is not a threat to love—it’s the very means by which salvation is accomplished. Without divine sovereignty, there would be no guarantee of redemption, no assurance of resurrection, no hope in suffering. But because God is both loving and in control, we can rest secure in Him.

📘 Secure in Christ

This theme is central to my upcoming book, Secure in Christ. In it, I explore how God’s sovereign love provides the foundation for lasting assurance. His attributes don’t compete—they harmonize. God would not be God if He were not in control. And because He is, we can trust that His love will never fail.

To suggest that divine love must be powerless to be pure is to misunderstand both power and purity. God’s love is not reckless or weak—it’s decisive, holy, and unfailing. Scripture does not invite us to imagine a God who merely hopes for our salvation, but to trust in a Savior who accomplishes it. Love isn’t the absence of power; it’s the redemptive use of it.

It’s like the hand of a skilled surgeon—precise, intentional, and filled with care. The scalpel may cut, but always toward healing. God’s sovereignty is not cold control; it is love that moves with clarity and purpose. Because He governs with goodness, we can rest not in probabilities but promises.

Learn more about the nature of God’s love.
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Trust God When You Struggle To Understand Yourself

Trust God When You Struggle To Understand Yourself

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Reading time: 5 minutes

Life’s unpredictability makes it challenging to trust God. Have you ever made a decision, only to wonder later why you chose that path? Have you ever felt uncertain about your emotions or actions, as if they were beyond your control? The truth is, no one fully understands themselves—not in the way God does. That’s why we must trust God to guide us through life’s uncertainties.

God created you for His purpose, and He knows everything about you, even the parts you haven’t discovered yet. When you trust God, you step into His greater plan, even when you don’t fully understand yourself. While you may struggle to make sense of your thoughts and choices, God’s wisdom remains unshaken. That is why trusting Him is far greater than trusting your own understanding.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

One reason we often feel uncertain is that human awareness operates on different levels. There are at least four levels of awareness:

  1. Active – What you consciously focus on in the moment.
  2. Accessible – Memories and knowledge you can retrieve easily.
  3. Subconscious – Thoughts and experiences that exist below the surface but can be triggered.
  4. Unknown – Aspects of yourself that only God knows, including the future.

When making choices, you are never completely aware of why you decide as you do. That’s why you must trust God—His wisdom surpasses human understanding. But God sees everything—the past, the present, and the future—so trusting Him brings peace.

Trust God with your Active Awareness

Active awareness includes the thoughts and emotions you are consciously focusing on in the immediate moment. This is where your attention is directed. Some people shift focus quickly, while others can remain fixed on a task or idea for a long time.

But active awareness is limited—it only includes what you are thinking right now. When making decisions, it may feel like you have all the information, but there are deeper influences at work.

Trust God with your Accessible Awareness

Accessible awareness consists of thoughts, experiences, and memories that you can retrieve easily, even if they are years or decades old. You may not always be thinking about them, but they are available when needed.

This layer shapes decisions in ways you may not always notice. Perhaps a childhood lesson surfaces when faced with a moral dilemma, or a long-forgotten memory influences how you respond to a situation. Still, accessible awareness is incomplete—you don’t always recall everything when you need to.

Trust God with your Subconscious Awareness

Subconscious awareness is even deeper. It holds thoughts and experiences that are not readily available unless something triggers them.

Triggers can come in many forms:

  • A familiar scent reminds you of a forgotten moment from childhood.
  • A song stirs emotions from a past relationship.
  • A significant life event causes deeper reflection on who you are.

Dreams often process subconscious material, sometimes bringing buried thoughts to the surface. Trauma also remains buried when it is too overwhelming to manage in the moment.

You may not always realize how much your subconscious affects your choices, but God does. Even when buried thoughts shape your actions, you can trust God to lead you in the right direction. He understands what is hidden, shaping His guidance in ways far beyond human awareness.

Trust God with your Unknown Awareness

The unknown represents the future. You may not know how you will grow, change, or develop, but God does.

Imagine a young child. She has no idea what her life will look like in thirty years. Fast forward to adulthood—now, she sees who she has become. Yet even then, her future remains a mystery.

This is why faith is essential. While human awareness is limited, God’s understanding is complete.

Life as a Melody—Trusting the Divine Composer

We are like music boxes, hearing the melody as it plays but never fully knowing why certain notes appear, or what comes next. Yet God, the Divine Composer, is creating something beautiful.

1. The Melody of Life

Each experience in life is like a musical note, carefully arranged by God:

  • Joyful Notes – Moments of love, victory, and peace.
  • Somber Notes – Seasons of grief, difficulty, and reflection.
  • Chaotic Sections – Times when life feels unpredictable, like dissonant music waiting to resolve.

While a single note may seem insignificant, God is composing something extraordinary. Trust that His arrangement is greater than you can perceive.

2. God as the Composer

God is not improvising—He knows every note in advance.

  • He crafts the theme – Just as composers have a vision for their symphony, God has a plan for your life.
  • He chooses the instrument – Just as each instrument has a unique sound, each person has unique talents designed for His purpose.
  • He knows when to pause – Silence in music builds anticipation. When life seems still, God is preparing something ahead.

Even when your life feels uncertain, trust God—He is orchestrating a masterpiece.

3. Unexpected Notes in Life’s Song

Some notes in life feel harsh or unexpected. But God is using them for something greater:

  • Dissonance resolves into beauty – Just as difficult chords lead to harmony, trials lead to growth.
  • The music shifts – Life can suddenly change, like moving from a minor key to a major one. God knows when and how to bring renewal.
  • Hidden layers emerge – Just as melodies are sometimes unnoticed until the song unfolds, God’s plan often reveals itself later.

Even when life feels unpredictable, trust God—He is composing a song of meaning, beauty, and purpose.

Trust the One Who Sees the Whole Picture

Since human awareness is limited, relying solely on personal understanding leads to confusion. But God sees beyond every level of awareness.

You don’t have to understand everything about yourself—you only need to trust God and rest in His wisdom.

Find hope when life is difficult.
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For A Better Relationship, Breathe

For A Better Relationship, Breathe

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Do your relationships ever feel suffocating or isolating? If you’ve been a Christian for some time, you might be familiar with a common saying: “God doesn’t move; if you feel distant, then it’s not Him who’s changed.” In our spiritual journey, we can draw closer to God or allow distance through our decisions and distractions. When you sense that warmth fading, it is often a signal from within that prompts you to examine your priorities and habits.

Staying connected with God is not a passive experience. Just as in any meaningful relationship, maintaining closeness with the Lord requires intentionality—through consistent prayer, meditation on Scripture, and accountability with fellow believers. When neglect sets in, a slow retreat unfolds, not because God has moved away, but because our hearts have drifted into routine and distraction. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward re-establishing that connection.

Deepening Our Relationship with God

In this light, consider the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 3:1:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

This verse reminds us that both intimacy and periods of thoughtful reprieve are part of God’s plan. It calls us to honor the natural rhythm in our lives—balancing moments of devoted togetherness with intentional times for personal reflection and growth in our walk with the Lord.

Balancing Intimacy and Independence in Relationships

Similarly, the dynamics within our interpersonal relationships follow a rhythm that can be understood through the simple act of breathing. In marriage and close friendships, “breathing in” symbolizes times when you intentionally come together with your spouse to share, to pray, and to connect over heartfelt conversation that reinforces your mutual values. This period of closeness deepens intimacy by keeping your shared spiritual and emotional foundation strong.

On the other hand, “breathing out” does not mean discarding what is good. Instead, it means carving out time for fulfilling, independent pursuits—whether that’s personal study, ministry work, or hobbies that honor your Christian values. This purposeful personal time is essential; it strengthens your individuality and personal faith, equipping you to return to the relationship with renewed purpose and clarity.

Consider a couple experiencing daily tension due to a lack of balance. They have grown so accustomed to constant interaction that personal space is nearly non-existent, resulting in feelings of resentment and a loss of personal identity. By establishing designated periods for couple-time—marked by prayer, conversation, and planning for the future—and respecting intervals for individual reflection, they discovered that their love was not only sustained but enriched. Their experience serves as a powerful reminder that when both aspects are respected, both the marital bond and personal faith can thrive.

When your relationship with God begins to feel strained, consider this breathing rhythm as a guide. Reflect on whether you’re allowing sufficient space for both shared worship and personal devotion. Sometimes, creating clear boundaries for quiet reflection or personal study can lead to a more profound reconnection when joining others in fellowship.

Likewise, examine your relationship with your spouse. Engage in heartfelt conversation about balancing togetherness with personal time. Whether it’s setting aside moments for shared Bible study or arranging personal time to pursue individual callings, this balance strengthens you both as individuals and as a couple.

If you’re facing challenges and finding it hard to rediscover this balance on your own, remember that professional Christian counseling is available. My books and counseling services offer further guidance based on Scripture and real-life experience for anyone seeking to restore closeness and harmony in their relationships.

A thriving relationship isn’t about relentless togetherness or constant isolation—it’s about discerning and respecting the rhythm of your life. By following God’s timing as echoed in Ecclesiastes 3:1, you can learn the art of breathing: drawing close after a time of disconnection, and moving toward fulfilling individual pursuits after togetherness. May you find strength in both union and introspection, knowing that each season is perfectly placed in God’s plan.

Learn about community and loneliness.
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Last updated 20250601

Only God Has Free Will

Only God Has Free Will

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Many people assume that human will is free, but in reality, it is deeply bound—either enslaved to sin or surrendered to righteousness. Only God’s free will is independent of any external influence. He is accountable to no one, dependent on nothing, and remains entirely sovereign over creation. Yet even His choices are shaped by His perfect nature. This is not a limitation. After all, He cannot improve because He is already flawless.

Humans Do Not Have Free Will

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Romans 6:16 NIV

In contrast to God’s free will, the human will operates within limits. Though people make decisions, their choices are always informed by their nature, which is either corrupted by sin or renewed through righteousness. People function exactly as God created them to function.

The Human Will Depends on God

Human beings contribute nothing to their creation. They do not sustain themselves—God continues to uphold their existence. Likewise, they do nothing to prepare themselves for new life in Christ, nor do they contribute to their spiritual rebirth. Even perseverance in faith is not a human effort but the work of the Holy Spirit. Yet while God initiates and sustains salvation, He does not act without us—He works in and through believers to produce spiritual fruit that accomplishes His plans.

If God’s sovereignty is compromised in even the smallest way, the entire theological framework collapses. Once human effort is inserted into the Gospel, it distorts the truth, reducing salvation to something earned rather than given. A sovereign God must remain fully in control, or else truth itself is weakened.

God’s Free Will Reveals His Ultimate Justice

When we focus on individual suffering, we might perceive injustice and randomness. Pain feels unnecessary, hardships seem unfair, and chaos appears dominant. However, when we zoom out and step back to view the grand picture, God’s justice becomes clearer.

By experience, it does not seem right that good people suffer while evil people prosper. The world appears unbalanced, rewarding corruption while punishing integrity. It isn’t easy to reconcile these realities with the idea of fairness.

Concerning grace, it does not seem right that God holds all people responsible for sin when they are powerless to overcome it on their own. If humanity is enslaved to sin, how can anyone be expected to live righteously without divine intervention? They cannot. Scripture teaches that salvation is purely a work of God, not something earned, but something freely given.

By glory, the tension between suffering and justice will finally be resolved. When God reveals His glory in eternity, everything will make sense. Believers’ brokenness will be fully redeemed, and true justice will be made known. The suffering of the righteous will not be wasted, and the prosperity of the wicked will be fleeting. In God’s presence, all things will be set right.

Living in Light of God’s Sovereign Free Will

This truth isn’t just theological—it affects how we approach daily decisions, big and small. If suffering appears unjust now, we trust that it serves a higher purpose in God’s plan. If human effort cannot produce salvation, we rest in the assurance that God alone secures it. If the world seems chaotic, we hold onto the certainty that justice will be fully revealed when God’s glory is known.

For example, rather than despairing when we witness evil flourishing, we remain steadfast in faith, knowing that no unrighteous act escapes God’s control. Rather than feeling helpless in our failures, we depend entirely on God’s committed love to calm our anxious hearts.

Human free will is impossible because only God’s will is free. Instead of autonomy, the pathway to peace is trust and dependence upon God. With this perspective, our lives are no longer defined by frustration or fear but by confident trust in the God who is fully sovereign, fully just, and fully faithful.

Imagine someone facing a major life decision—whether to take a job in another city or stay where they are. They weigh the pros and cons, feel anxious about the unknown, and struggle with the fear of making the wrong choice.

Instead of relying solely on logic or trying to control every outcome, they surrender the decision to God. They pray, asking Him to guide their steps. They seek wisdom in scripture, trust that He knows what is best, and wait for peace about the next step. Over time, they feel clarity, and even if the path is uncertain, they rest in the confidence that God is leading them where He wants them to be.

Surrendering acknowledges that human “free will” does not solve problems (because it is dependent on God). Even so, surrendering control doesn’t mean doing nothing—it means releasing the need to control what cannot be controlled and trusting God’s sovereignty instead.

Some of the ideas for this post came from Martin Luther’s work The Bondage of the Will.
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Living with Eternal Purpose

Living With Eternal Purpose: No Guts No Glory

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Do you ever feel like just being yourself is too risky? The cost of authenticity might be rejection, but the rewards lead to a life full of purpose. When you embrace who God created you to be, challenges will come—but so will deep joy and meaning. When we live in alignment with God’s design, we experience a glimpse of heaven—a foretaste of the eternal—shaping our journey with divine purpose.

Yet, too often fear holds us back. We hesitate to be vulnerable, to speak honestly, to pursue what truly matters. Why? Because rejection and failure seem unbearable. But what if we could shift our focus, seeing beyond temporary discomfort to the eternal reality that awaits us? Living with this perspective changes everything.

In another post, I wrote about the benefits of imagining what heaven will be like. I asked, “How would seeing the most optimistic vision impact how you live today?” One person’s response perfectly captures the shift from despair to hope that I aimed for. He gave me permission to share his answer:

I enjoyed the post you wrote on Heaven. Thanks for posing the question. It gave me a chance to think about what the rest of my life could look like and how it could begin to move in that direction even now. Knowing what heaven is like and who I am as God’s finished product would change how I live the rest of my days on earth.

During a recent checkup, my doctor said, “You look pretty good for someone who almost died a year ago.” Coming face-to-face with death has me thinking more about how I want to be remembered.

If I knew what God plans for me in heaven, I could risk being that person more on earth, no matter what others thought of me, because I would know it pleased God. I should be doing that anyway, but I struggle to be the best version of me. I want to:

  • be more unselfish, putting others’ needs before my own.
  • be more transparent about my feelings and not be concerned about how that would look to others.
  • speak what is in my heart; I wouldn’t be unkind, but I would be free to disagree with others and risk being rejected and isolated from others.
  • be more vulnerable to love others and help them, no matter what it costs me emotionally or materially.
  • be more humble, living out my purpose of bringing glory to God and doing things that have eternal value, not just what has meaning for my time on earth.

Acting in this way would bring more meaning to my remaining time here, leave an eternal mark, and make something in my life worth remembering to those I leave behind.

Imagining heaven’s best helps me trust God more (I can see why He led me through what He did) and value what He values. I want to see with a better perspective what is important in this life, and what matters so little because it won’t be coming with me into heaven.

This perspective has the power to transform how we live. What if, instead of fearing failure or rejection, we boldly stepped into the identity God designed for us?

How to Step Boldly into Purpose—Without Regrets

It’s easy to get stuck in hesitation, waiting for the “right time” to start living boldly. But if you knew heaven was ahead, what would you risk today to embrace the person God designed you to be?

  • Maybe you need counseling to heal from past wounds that keep you from fully stepping into your purpose.
  • Maybe it’s time to invest in a book that guides you toward deeper faith and self-awareness.
  • Maybe you need to start small, choosing one area of your life to surrender fear and embrace authenticity.

The challenge is real, the risk feels great—but the reward is eternal.

How about you? What will your life look like if you live with no regrets? No guts, no glory. When you risk being who God made you to be, God is glorified.

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

Romans 8:17 NLT

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Last Updated 20250420