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How To Live Worry Free

How to Live Worry Free

November 10, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Worry is an automatic behavior for many people. It’s an attempt to control something that cannot be controlled. Therefore, the more you worry, the more frustrated you’ll become.

There is plenty in life that happens against our wills, so there is plenty of opportunity to worry. In our wisdom, we don’t know what to try to prevent and what to allow. But God has perfect wisdom.

If worry is a behavior then it is also a choice. When a person is accustomed to worrying it might feel involuntary. That can happen when the belief system that allows worry is buried out of awareness.

Anxious worrying involves fear. What is worrying you? Is it more physical like health (fear of suffering) or finances (fear of powerlessness)? Maybe it is more personal like your worth (fear of rejection). Whatever it is, the underlying belief system has something to do with trust.

Ridding yourself of worry requires trusting God with the parts of life out of your control. The more you focus (without considering God) on what you can’t control, the more anxious you’ll become. The more you live in fear, the more discouraged you’ll become.

Encouragement is the Antidote to Worry

Anxious fear brings depression,
but a life-giving word of encouragement
can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.

Proverbs 12:25 TPT

The only way to live worry-free is to give up your attempts to control the outcomes of your life. This doesn’t mean giving up on trying to make a positive difference in this life. You can love God with everything you have, but still accept that this life rarely goes exactly how you want it to.

There’s always a greater reality beyond what you see immediately in front of you. Encouraging words never need to be empty promises. Whatever is encouraging must be based on a promise of God. Evil may appear to be winning during this life. Evil might look like it has defeated good, but God always has the final word. His voice brings victory.

The horse is made ready for the day of battle,
    but victory rests with the Lord.

Proverbs 21:31 NIV

Maybe you are caught up in fear. Maybe you aren’t allowing a life-giving word of encouragement to reach your heart. Maybe then you are putting too much hope into your own efforts. We can (and should) prepare for battle, but it is only because of God that we can win.

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:56-57 NIV

Living intentionally by telling God you want to be more hopeful. Agree that you want to open your heart to encouragement. Imagine God encouraging you. Which of the following would be most life-giving to you?

  • You are unconditionally loved.
  • You are safe and secure.
  • You are wanted in a relationship with me.
  • You are significant and valued.
  • You have a place in my kingdom-house.

Fortunately for us believers, all of the above are true. Then why don’t they often feel true?

Discouraging Wounds are Real, But God’s Encouraging Words are More Real

None of those statements require that your circumstances are always pleasant or desirable. They are spiritual truths more than they are facts fulfilled by this current life. Spiritual truths last forever; circumstances are temporary. Don’t confuse the two. When you believe your circumstances are forever and the truth is temporary, you will understandably be afraid. So if you’re struggling, ask yourself which way you’re believing.

Spiritual truths remain true, even when they don’t feel true. Who you are (all the good that God made you to be) remains true, even when you don’t feel good about yourself.

When terrible, painful things happen, we are supposed to feel sad, but not discouraged forever. If you lose a loved one, develop a serious medical condition, or face humiliating rejection, you will feel it, and you should.

No doubt that life circumstances can be obstacles to faith. No doubt there is plenty to be sad about. Just not sad forever. The reality of who God is brings joy to the heart.

Wounds are real, but what God has to say counts infinitely more. Open your heart to life-giving encouragement.

For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.

1 John 5:4 NLT

Read more about trusting God.
Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay
Last updated 2022/11/06

Filed Under: Self-Image, Identity, Self-Care, Spiritual Formation Tagged With: faith, fear

God Is Perfect

April 19, 2020 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

How do you feel about God? How much do you trust Him? Nothing is more important than your trust in God.

If there was one truth to rule them all it would be, “God is perfect.” Try an experiment. Count God as thoroughly perfect. Now, how much can you trust Him? Has your hope increased? If you can’t bring yourself to believe He is perfect, maybe you feel more discouraged.

When I think of God as perfect, it starts to correct my image of Him. I feel more positive toward Him and then I feel more hopeful.

Is God Perfect?

Do you ever find yourself resisting that God is perfect? It can be easy to doubt God is perfect. Globally, many difficult things have happened, are happening, and will continue to happen. It’s the “continue to happen” that makes it easy to doubt.

Can God be perfect if He allows bad things to continue to happen? This question causes many people to stumble in their faith.

If you start to seriously doubt God, you move into a place of judgment. Putting God on trial is the beginning of the end. Nothing good can come from distancing yourself from the only one who can help you. I discuss this and more in my book, To Identity and Beyond.

Until we are in heaven, life will continue to be a struggle. Since we are not there yet, this life is all we know. You have to make up your mind about God with the evidence you gain from your life.

Regardless of how good or bad life seems, you have a powerful choice to make. Will you devote your allegiance to God? Will you align your spirit to His Spirit?

If you refuse, you will experience some natural consequences.

Believing God Has Faults Harms You

If God is perfect, then failing to believe and act accordingly will be harmful to you. It is possible that all of us experience a deterioration in our health to the degree we live like God is imperfect. That’s scary!

Believing God is imperfect and then failing to trust Him carries with it consequences like:

  • Increased fear, anxiety, and worry
  • Increased need for control
  • Increased desire to be self-sufficient
  • Increased isolation and loneliness
  • Increased despair
  • Increased frustration and anger

Can it be any other way? Comment and let me know what you think.

Meditate on God’s Perfection

Try an experiment this week. Remind yourself of God’s perfection. Whenever you set your mind on God, think about how absolutely perfect He is. Notice how you feel. If you feel negative, that’s probably an indicator of some spiritual work you need to do. If you feel more positive, notice how that changed for you. What changed?

After you try this for a week, check on what insights you gained about God and yourself? Do you feel more peaceful and hopeful?

Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, Core Longings Tagged With: faith, fear

Are You Blind Or Lacking Vision?

March 2, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

I can see and hear well for the most part. But I was wondering recently what it must be like to be blind. What is it like to walk across a room without being able to see?

Actually, I know firsthand what this is like because I’ve bumped into many things walking in my bedroom at night (with the lights out so I don’t disturb my wife).

Would walking be easier if I could see a little, or not see at all? My first thought is seeing something is better than nothing. But then I would be more tempted to rely on my efforts. I could be so focused on what I can see, that I’d forget to consider God.

Does God want you to trust Him more like a completely blind person? If you can’t see clearly, God certainly doesn’t want you to squint and guess. When you can see, you should use all that God has given you to make a decision. But sometimes you really can’t see much of anything even when you see a lot. What you see isn’t helpful or it’s irrelevant. It’s noise.

Maybe it’s okay that God asks you to walk by faith. Maybe you can blindly trust Him when you have no clue what He is doing. And maybe it’s better that way.

God is always with you. He is always present, but you might need to walk a path that doesn’t make sense–like Abraham had to do when God asked him to sacrifice his son.

Walking while blind (physically) might actually provide the most opportunity to put your full and purest trust in God. Can you acknowledge that you’re completely dependent upon God? When you can’t see anything with your physical eyes, you will have no choice but to rely on your spiritual eyes.

Depending on how you look at it, that might sound uncomfortably vulnerable, or it might sound blissfully peaceful. What does it sound like to you?

Here are some scriptures to consider: 2 Corinthians 5:7, Proverbs 3:5-6, Hebrews 11:1, John 20:29, 2 Corinthians 4:4, 4:18, Mark 4:12. I recently wrote an answer on Quora about looking but not really seeing (Matthew 13:10–13).

Image by Jiří Rotrekl from Pixabay

Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, God's Kingdom Tagged With: faith, fear

Hope When All Seems Hopeless

August 18, 2019 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

When you feel discouraged, where do you turn? Hoping in hope is empty. Positive thinking won’t last long unless it’s based upon the reality that comes from God. I want to hope in something real. That’s what truly inspired me when I first became a Christian.

When I became a Christian, my whole understanding of life crossed over from complete meaninglessness to an ordered plan. At times I lose the sense that the details of life are ordered. When bad things happen, life doesn’t make much sense. But this doesn’t change the ultimate truth that God is real.

When all seems hopeless, there is always still hope for a believer in Jesus Christ. You might have had the worst luck or just received the worst news. You might have nothing left, but if you’re breathing… If you’re alive, then you have a purpose for being here. If everything is failing, but you are alive, then God still has a purpose for you being here.

You can be experiencing nothing much happening that is meaningful, but still know that life has meaning and purpose.

You can despair of this life and the difficulties and pain it brings, yet burn inside because the flame of God’s hope will never go out.

When you hit bottom, you’re ready to give up hope in everything else. God’s message of hope shines all the brighter.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I encourage you to ponder what your life might look like if you hold onto God, and move in the direction that God is leaving open to you. Is God closing doors? That’s God pruning you, so you will grow in another direction.

God doesn’t want you to give up; He wants you to try something new – something you haven’t tried yet.

With God there are infinite possibilities, but only a finite number of closed doors. Click To Tweet

What dream is in your heart? What other ways can you pursue your dream beyond closed doors? Leave me a comment or send me an email about your dream so I can pray over you and your dream.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, Boundaries, Identity Tagged With: faith, fear, purpose, suffering

Push through fear like you would cross a scary bridge.

Push Through Fear and Find Hope

June 29, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

A string of devastating disappointments can weaken you to the point you live in constant fear of the next disaster. Don’t give up. You can push through fear and find hope.

Job experienced multiple traumas. He suffered from the loss of his children, his finances, and his health. Though he was greatly distressed, he held on until God brought him relief.

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Job 1:22 NIV

Just like Job, your mental attitude makes a difference. Do all you can to guard your heart against bitterness toward God. A healthy fear of God is good.

At any moment, you have the ability to choose a different path. With each decision you make, something changes. As long as something is changing, hope is alive.

If it seems like you are up against a wall with no way out, perhaps you are afraid of something. The enemy uses fear to distract you. When you are afraid, everything looks worse than it really is.

Here are two possible ways you can become immobilized by fear:

  1. You expect a change for the worse: You fear a change that will result in you being worse off than you are currently. You anticipate you will make a bigger mess of an already bad situation.
  2. You expect no positive change: You fear you’ll never be better off. You believe your dreams are unobtainable, your effort is futile, and change is impossible.

If nothing about you could ever change, fear would multiple quickly. You would become consumed with hopelessness. The more you feel trapped, the more you would panic. The more you panic, the more trapped you would feel.

Anxiety blocks creativity. The more anxious I am, the less I have access to the part of me that can find solutions. I can’t make a good decision when I am anxious. When my ability to change my thinking becomes inaccessible, I become confused, paralyzed, and unable to move forward.

Don’t give up. Push through fear like you would cross a scary bridge. You can use these 3 strategies to bridge your way to hope:

Use the Gospel to Push Through Fear

You were once dead in your sin, but now you are a new creation. You are forgiven and capable of becoming more like Christ. You can change because God is empowering you. This is the ultimate hope all believers have.

The kind of change I’m talking about is the kind that matters most. The priceless kind. Would you rather have an easy life or the strength and peace to endure a hard life?

The hope of the Gospel is more than enough to calm my fears.

Use Your Identity to Push Through Fear

All positive, significant change is a decision to embrace more of who God made you to be. Circumstances can change for better or worse. But your identity is fixed. And this is good because it’s easier to hit a fixed target than one that moves all the time.

As you accept and move toward your true identity, you’ll gain the power to also accept your circumstances.

If you’re believing lies about yourself, you are opening yourself to evil. Walk away from abusive situations. I don’t mean give up on loving others. Instead, I mean improve your self-worth by actively refuting lies with the truth.

Use Momentum to Push Through Fear

The smallest change can result in unstoppable momentum. There’s always hope when there’s something you can change. If you can make a change in what you’re doing or saying, then something must be different inside of you.

God takes no pleasure in seeing you beat yourself up or put yourself down. When something terrible happens, it has nothing to do with who you are. Remember Job? He lost so much, but that didn’t change who he was to God.

Can you decide to take better care of yourself? Relax and allow yourself to find the greater separation between who your circumstance says you are and who God says you are.

Always hold on to hope because you can make a change. If the change you want seems too big, then start smaller. Even a small change can lead to big hope. Do something different. Take a walk instead of sitting inside all day. Veg out instead of doing laundry all day. Do something to enjoy the moment you have right now.

To push through fear and choose peace despite your circumstances, you will need to pray.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:6-8 NIV

To explore this idea further see Ephesians 2:1-5, Proverbs 13:12, and see my post on Quora.
Image by Bishnu Sarangi from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Abuse and Neglect, Counseling, Healing Tagged With: fear, hope

Strengthen Yourself Against Doubt

August 23, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Does the Bible contradict itself? How can a good God continue to allow pain and suffering? Why does God choose some people and seem to reject others?

Most Christians would agree the Bible is our source of truth. But how can there be so many different interpretations of the truth? Which one is right?

To interpret the Bible correctly requires keeping in mind two ideas. First: God authored it, so only He can correctly communicate His intentions. God’s Spirit within the believer guides the believer into truth. Second: Your presuppositions can make or break your interpretation. If your foundation is faulty, so will be the rest of the building.

I’m assuming you are a believer and want to know God’s opinion about the truth. So, I’m going to focus on the second idea: how to form a solid foundation. Because we read top to bottom, I’m going to flip my analogy upside-down.

Instead of a building, I want you to imagine a pyramid. There’s only room for one block at the top. The next layer has a few more blocks, and the third layer even more. To understand the Bible, you must know the one truth that is higher than all others. This truth helps interpret all the levels below it.

A hierarchy is needed to know what is most important. You have a pyramid of values that determines how you will interpret the Bible.

God Exists

Putting this truth at the top establishes your basic worldview. God created you. When you are trying to understand what the Bible has to say about your life, you first realize that God is real. See Hebrews 11:6.

God is Good

One level down you can establish that God is perfect. In all that God does, He is working for good. He can’t commit an evil act. This prevents you from questioning God’s motives. See Mark 10:18.

God is Love

Around the same level as good, we can say that God is love. He cares about you personally and wants an intimate connection. He wants to know you, and He wants you to know Him. See 1 John 4:8.

God is Higher

God always understands us, but we can’t always understand Him. See Isaiah 55:8-9 and Proverbs 3:5-6.

God is in Control

God is all-powerful. God has the power to change the outcome of history. When it unfolds the way it does, God is allowing it that way for His purposes. This allows us to trust God even when life is confusing and difficult. See Psalm 31:13-14.

God Allows Suffering

God continues to allow evil to exist. God allows bad things to happen. God allows suffering to continue.

How can these statements about God help strengthen your doubt? You might not have a full answer to why God allows suffering. Certainly, when He knows the time is right, the world as we know it will be gone and we’ll be in heaven. Until then, it’s important that we don’t lose our way.

When you’re in pain and suffering, look up farther in the pyramid. God is in control. God’s ways are higher. God is love. God is good. God exists. These are true whether your life is going well or not-so-well. These are true whether someone else’s life is going well or not-so-well.

If you start doubting the top of the pyramid, where will that lead you? How would your life be different if “God doesn’t exist” sat at the top?

Next time you read something in the Bible that confuses you or causes doubt, refer to your hierarchy of truth. It should save you from having to rebuild a pyramid every time you encounter a difficult life event.

Occasionally, you might find your pyramid has a weak point which needs to be strengthened. For example, you might need to know God’s forgiveness and therefore, “God is love” fits closer to the top. This isn’t to say that truth can change but only recognizes that as you grow, your understanding of what belongs at the top can shift some.

What struggles cause you to doubt? What helps you remain faithful (full of faith) despite circumstances?

Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, God's Kingdom Tagged With: faith, fear, interpretation, suffering, truth

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