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When Joy Feels Elusive And Faith Feels Thin

When Joy Feels Elusive And Faith Feels Thin

July 18, 2020 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

Joy can be elusive, especially when you look in the wrong place.

If you’re hungry for strawberries, where do you get them? Strawberries don’t grow on apple trees. So, there’s little point in looking up a tree.

Where does joy come from? It’s a fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

The Gospel is the only true source of joy. Nothing inspires deeper joy than the Spirit revealing the sacrificial work of Jesus Christ in the hearts of the believer.

Joy is otherworldly. It’s spiritual. It can be difficult to grasp. It doesn’t always make sense when viewed from an isolated moment. It becomes elusive when you search for it in the narrow circumstances of your life, without the context of the Gospel.

But joy becomes logical when you look beyond the present moment. It flows from a truth greater than any fact of your current situation. Real joy is rooted in the reality of salvation. That’s the only way you can suffer and still be joyful at the same time.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3 NIV

Faith Makes Joy Possible

Faith sees beyond the physical to the spiritual reality. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. And where the Spirit is, there is true freedom. Without the Spirit, joy would be impossible.

Joy results from trials because trials reveal the “too good to be true, even though it is true” reality of God’s kingdom. It is always possible because it’s based on the unchanging truth of God’s promises.

And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Luke 23:43 ESV

No matter what is happening to you today, if you are in Christ, then God has prepared a place for you in heaven. But He does not want you to rush there. He has you alive and present for a reason.

While you’re still here, God has a purpose for you. It’s okay to borrow joy from your heavenly future. In fact, that’s the only way to do it. The Spirit makes the heavenly reality known to you today.

Joy in the Middle of the Story

Joy isn’t just for the end of the story—it’s for the middle, too.

We often think joy will come after the resolution: when the diagnosis is reversed, the relationship is restored, the job is secured. But joy, as a fruit of the Spirit, grows in the soil of the present moment—even when that soil feels dry and cracked.

Joy doesn’t require the absence of sorrow. It coexists with it. It’s not a denial of pain but a defiant hope in the midst of it. That’s why Paul could write from prison about rejoicing always (Philippians 4:4). He wasn’t waiting for release to rejoice—he was already free in Christ.

Joy is not the reward for enduring the trial. It’s the companion that walks with you through it.

Enjoy!

Joy is not a reward for good behavior or a prize for spiritual maturity. It’s a gift of the Spirit, available to you now. You don’t have to manufacture it. You don’t have to fake it. You just have to receive it—by contemplating the wonderful Gospel message: Jesus saves people, not by their work, but by His work alone.

So go ahead—enjoy.
Not because life is easy, but because God is good.
Not because everything makes sense, but because His promises are true.
Not because you feel joyful, but because joy is yours in Christ.

Learn more about finding joy.
Photo by Stridsberg Carl form PxHere
Last updated 2025/07/06

Filed Under: God's Kingdom, Counseling, Identity, Spiritual Formation Tagged With: faith, fear, joy

Transform Fake Happiness Into Genuine Joy

July 4, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 8 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

You can only be conscious of a few things at any one time. But there are many thoughts and feelings that live beneath the surface. The important ones will attempt to surface, especially the negative and painful ones. Chances are, you’re not excited about allowing them to surface. That’s why you might choose fake happiness instead of genuine joy.

To explain the problems with this situation, I like to use the analogy of a child and a parent. The child wants to express the pain and be comforted. The rational-focused parent says, “not now, I’m busy.” There is definitely a need for the rational parent, because most of the time, it’s not practical or healthy to let a complaining child have full control.

However, “not now” can easily become “never.” It’s easy to procrastinate when uncomfortable feelings are pushing their way to the surface. A balance is needed. The head (the parent) should remain in control, but the head should provide the needed time for the heart (the child) to share its concerns.

Without time to express feelings, a person will become more and more compartmentalized. A small to moderate amount of compartmentalization is helpful when it’s time to be a responsible adult. But the deeper a memory is buried with passing time, the easier it becomes to believe the memory isn’t a part of the real you. And, that’s a dangerous position to be in.

Your personal history shouldn’t be erased because doing so will increase the likelihood of repeating your mistakes. If you can’t remember what you already tried, including how it turned out, you may be doomed to repeat history. Instead, there is another option: transform your personal history through healing and forgiveness.

Everything that happens to you provides an opportunity for you to identify and understand who you are. If you attempt to ignore your memories, you will lose a part of yourself in the process. Every time this happens, you become a little less authentic. That is because buried negative experiences continue to leak lies into your self-image. They poison your self-worth. To heal you must bring the truth in contact with your experiences.

If your primary goal is to be happy, then you might choose to ignore unhappy thoughts and feelings. But this will only lead to the need to invest increased amounts of energy to keep up the appearance of being happy. You’ll have to fake it, and, unless something else changes, there’s no way to “fake it until you make it.” You can’t fake your way into genuine joy.

When you fake your happiness around other people, you’ll likely suffer greater depression when you are once again alone. The size of your problem hasn’t necessarily grown. But you will experience it as more painful because you haven’t been able to share your true feelings with another person.

Happiness will endure so long as your circumstances are positive. The minute you experience a setback, your negative feelings will attempt to surface. However, when you learn how to work through difficult feelings, you learn how to maintain joy regardless of your circumstances.

Compartmentalization is an avoidance technique. It produces an immediate strength to get you through the moment, but left in place, it results in permanent weakness. It’s similar to accepting a numbing agent when you have surgery or dental work. You miss out on the sharp pain while you correct the problem. But it would be dangerous to your health to remain numb forever. Likewise, if fixing the problem is too easy, you might let yourself fall into the same trap again.

As you feel pain in life, try to remain aware of it. Include God in your awareness. You can bring the “child” to the “parent” for true healing. In order to grow stronger and healthier, you must give God access to the weakest, most vulnerable parts of yourself.

If you want to become joyful, make time to be completely honest about how you feel about what has happened in your life. Ask God to help you see the truth.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Healing, Identity Tagged With: fake, genuine, happiness, joy, suffering

The Paradox of Humility

December 23, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 2 minutes

No one can claim they are the humblest person in the world with much credibility. But those of us who struggle with self-worth know that confidence is equally elusive.

Somehow though, confidence and humility are the same thing. If you are confident (but not arrogant), you’ll also be humble. And if you’re humble (but not engaging in false humility), you’ll also be confident.

Doesn’t that seem strange that appropriate confidence, the kind God wants us to have, is also a way to express humility? I mean strange in the sense that confident probably isn’t the first word that comes to mind when you think of humility. But how could it be any other way?

God who is all powerful clothed Himself with humanity. If there is a paradox, Jesus represents it perfectly.

To be strong doesn’t mean to be closed or unreachable. God’s strength is approachable. Jesus’s birth offers us the greatest hope possible.

We are creatures of habit. Once we know how to do something, we go on autopilot.

If you’ve ever experienced a negative, false belief about yourself, you know firsthand the intense struggle that is required to put off the false and put on the truth.

You can’t have confidence and humility without also having peace and joy.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

In your quest to become more confident and humble, remember that it feels like peace, joy, and rest. I bless you now with rest for your soul. Amen.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Emotional Honesty, Self-Image Tagged With: confidence, desire, humility, joy, peace, rest, self-worth, shame

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