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Overcome Resistance To Value Your Identity

Overcome Resistance To Value Your Identity

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Reading time: 4 minutes

To live is to encounter resistance to all that is good. Given the curse the world will naturally degrade as long as evil is in control. Even the sin in us resists God’s goodness. But our suffering does not need to lead us to despair. God tells us to hope not in this world but in Him.

We know that God is ultimately in control even though it appears like evil has control. Bad things happen. God offers His truth to us. Are you winning or losing the struggle between these two?

If I offered you a new, crisp one-hundred dollar bill, would you accept it? What if I first crumpled it up and submerged it into a concoction of oil, mud, and blood? The bill might be tattered and dirty, but it’s still worth the same amount.

The same is true for you. You have an enemy who wants to drag you through the mud. He wants you to forget who you are. Or, better yet, he’d like you to never figure out or accept who you are. You are valuable even though you have some scars and dirt.

Resistance is not Futile

You have a force working against you as you discover who you are. As you learn who God made you to be, the evil one will work to make sure you don’t believe or can’t accept who you are. He’ll try to get you to think you’re worth less (worthless).

Resistance is not futile (see Hebrews 12:4 and James 4:7). You can submit to God and resist the devil’s schemes. Fortunately for you and me, this strategy of the enemy will backfire eventually, like all of his strategies. How? Because whatever the evil one plans for discomfort and destruction, God can turn it around and use it for good. Even so, it’s important to keep expectations adjusted appropriately. The ending is awesome, but we’ll still experience some darkness, discomfort, and even some deterioration along the way.

Understanding the truth is difficult when life isn’t working out in your favor. In the end, though, the enemy can only redecorate your life. He can’t destroy it. What the enemy can touch is superficial.

Joseph is a great example of patience during suffering. His brothers betrayed him, and he still felt compassion for them at the end of his life. He saw his life events, the good and the bad, with a positive view of God.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

Genesis 50:20 ESV

Growing Stronger Requires Befriending Resistance

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

1 Peter 4:12-13 ESV

If you want to grow stronger, you must actively face some resistance. All else equal, in light gravity, you lose muscle and bone strength. In heavy gravity, you can gain strength if you resist.

You can’t live without hope but equally true is: you can’t live without exercising your body and mind. When who you are is under attack, you must resist what is false. During the process of refuting what isn’t true, you’ll learn what is true about you.

Therefore, whenever you’re feeling discouraged by life, remind yourself, “I have value no matter what I look like or feel like on the outside. This body I have today is temporary. My spirit is eternal. God will make me a new body in the next life.” And, bonus! God has already started the cleanup process, so you can experience some comfort in this life.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV

Read through or listen to Mandisa’s songs, Stronger and Overcomer.
Learn more about overcoming resistance.
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Last updated 2024/01/14

Identity's Mystery Uncovered

Identity’s Mystery Uncovered

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Identity is both a mystery and a guide. Only God knows everything about us. We speak, feel, and act from the core of who we are, but only God completely knows our hearts. And yet, the longer we live, the more we come to understand who we are.

Identity is Like a Seed

If you plant an apple seed, can it grow into a pear tree? Of course not! The identity of the seed is the same as the tree. Identity is “preprogrammed” by God. When we are conceived, a seed is planted and it will grow into the person God plans for us to be.

People must go through a second conception and birth to overcome the spiritual death present from the first birth. The first birth reveals only a shadow of true life. The first seed contains complete plans but lacks spiritual life. The second seed recreates people with spiritual vitality so that they can connect with God.

A seed looks nothing like what it will grow into. Only after it has matured can we see it for what it is. Unfortunately because of sin and creation’s curse, what is visible is distorted.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:11-12 ESV

Identity Is What You Cannot Lose

Imagine you’re in the worst sandstorm of all time. The wind uses the sand to scrub away at you. The intensity of the blast separates little pieces of you and the wind carries them into the distance.

If this were a real sandstorm, your body couldn’t withstand it. But I’m talking about a cleansing from who you aren’t. After such a thorough cleansing, what is left of you?

Identity is what you can’t ever lose. Whatever is left is the true you. What got carried away wasn’t ever really a part of the true you. Maybe through life experiences, you feel as though you’ve lost yourself. Don’t worry. You are still there. God knows exactly who you are.

These four dictionary definitions (compiled from yourdictionary.com and dictionary.com) capture the essence of identity. Identity is:

  1. “Who you are.”
  2. “The set of characteristics by which you are definitively recognizable.” This definition clarifies that we can use identity to distinguish you from others.
  3. “Your unique characteristics held by no other person.” This definition clarifies that having an identity means you have something that no one else will ever have.
  4. “What remains the same, constant, persisting over time, under varying circumstances.” This definition provides the insight that identity must be permanently yours, or else it isn’t part of you.

Take a moment and think about what can be taken from you or what you can lose. What is left? I’m not talking about the things God has promised are yours. If you’re a Christian, you have eternal life and an eternal relationship with God and others. Your identity is who you are. The “who that is you” will always be forever. Remember this when you feel like life is ripping you apart.

And I will put this third into the fire,
and refine them as one refines silver,
and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

—Zechariah 13:9

God is helping you become the purest and truest version of who you are. Listen to the Refiner’s Fire worship song. Ask God to help you know and experience your true identity.

Learn more about the mystery of identity.
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Last updated 2023/12/17

Self-Care Is Not Selfish Or Sinful

Self-Care Is Not Selfish Or Sinful

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Christians are not supposed to be selfish so they often end up at the other extreme: being self-neglectful. But being selfless doesn’t prevent self-care. You can be content while caring for yourself and others.

Selfishness at its root is wastefulness. Poor stewardship is the misuse of resources. Gluttony is a perfect example of selfishness. People are selfish when they consume more than they need while others don’t get what they need.

The selfish person refuses to do what is helpful and right. He prioritizes his wants over another person’s needs. Selfishness overlaps with pride. A selfish person might throw away good food instead of giving it to those in need. This person is deliberately spiteful or intent on seeing others suffer.

With such a bleak definition, you might think, “I’m not that selfish.” And maybe you’re right. Instead, maybe you are self-neglectful. Would you starve yourself so another can eat? That is just as extreme as letting others starve.

It’s Nearly Impossible to be Content and Selfish

The selfish person can’t be thankful. Being thankful allows you to see the abundance of what you have. Take a moment to consider the excess you have. Most people have well beyond what they need to be happy. Yet, many people aren’t happy. What will it take for you to be happy?

Selfishness can also have a fearful root. I should think only of myself in case something bad happens. True contentment is living with peace in any circumstance. To be selfish is a negative grab for satisfaction. Paul wrote about contentment:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

Contentment is an internal state. You can prefer blue skies over grey skies, but still be content on a cloudy day. Selfishness exists because of discontentment with circumstances. The secret to contentment is knowing what happens when your life ends. Nothing provides greater peace than knowing God has chosen you to be with Him in paradise (Luke 23:43).

It’s Possible to Pursue Self-Care and be Selfless

Because of sin, it’s easy to be selfish. It’s also easy to give others what they want to avoid any uncomfortable conflict (also know as people pleasing). But you can be generous and have healthy boundaries at the same time. You can because self-care isn’t selfish. With God’s help, your motives for giving can be free of resentment, bitterness, or anything negative.

God wants you to be selfless. That means you work toward being a good steward of the resources God has given you. You know the difference between what you need and what you want. You derive your happiness from the abundance of what you already have. You share what you have with those who have need. You give to others only when your giving helps instead of creating further harm. Paul explains how to have the right motivation to give:

So I have decided to ask Titus and the others to spend some time with you before I arrive. This way they can arrange to collect the money you have promised. Then you will have the chance to give because you want to, and not because you feel forced to. Remember this saying, “A few seeds make a small harvest, but a lot of seeds make a big harvest.” Each of you must make up your own mind about how much to give. But don’t feel sorry that you must give and don’t feel that you are forced to give. God loves people who love to give.

2 Corinthians 9:5-7 CEV

When you are focused on God and His kingdom, you can be happy and content whether you are in need or have plenty. You can allow yourself to enjoy the life God has given you.

Learn more about struggling with circumstances.
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Wisdom Sees The Lord As Awesome

Wisdom Sees The Lord As Awesome

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Reading time: 4 minutes

How do you see the Lord? Wisdom enables you to respect God. But given that life can be so difficult, God might not seem worthy of respect.

Does the Bible contradict itself? How can a good God continue to allow pain and suffering? Why does God choose some people and seem to reject others?

Most Christians would agree the Bible is our source of truth. But how can there be so many different interpretations of the truth? Which one is right?

To interpret the Bible correctly requires keeping in mind two ideas. First: God authored it, so only He can correctly communicate His intentions. God’s Spirit within the believer guides the believer into truth. Second: Your presuppositions can make or break your interpretation. If a building’s foundation is faulty, the rest of it will be too.

I’m assuming you are a believer and want to know God’s opinion about the truth. So, I’m going to focus on the second idea: how to form a solid foundation. Because we read top to bottom, I will flip my analogy upside-down.

Instead of a building, I want you to imagine a pyramid. There’s only room for one block at the top. The next layer has a few more blocks, and the third layer has even more. To understand the Bible, you must know the one truth that is higher than all others. This truth helps interpret all the levels below it.

A hierarchy is needed to know what is most important. You have a pyramid of values that determines how you will interpret the Bible.

Wisdom says God Exists

Putting this truth at the top establishes your basic worldview. God created you. When you are trying to understand what the Bible has to say about your life, you first realize that God is real. See Hebrews 11:6.

Wisdom says God is Good

One level down you can establish that God is perfect. In all that God does, He is working for good. He can’t commit an evil act. This prevents you from questioning God’s motives. See Mark 10:18.

Wisdom says God is Love

Around the same level as good, we can say that God is love. He cares about you personally and wants an intimate connection. He wants to know you, and He wants you to know Him. See 1 John 4:8.

Wisdom says God is Higher

God always understands us, but we can’t always understand Him. See Isaiah 55:8-9 and Proverbs 3:5-6.

Wisdom says God is in Control

God is all-powerful. God has the power to change the outcome of history. When it unfolds the way it does, God is allowing it that way for His purposes. This allows us to trust God even when life is confusing and difficult. See Psalm 31:13-14.

You can make many plans,
    but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

Proverbs 19:21 NLT

Wisdom says God Allows Suffering

God continues to allow evil to exist. God allows bad things to happen. God allows suffering to continue.

How can these statements about God help strengthen your doubt? You might not have a full answer to why God allows suffering. Indeed, when He knows the time is right, the world as we know it will be gone and we’ll be in heaven. Until then, it’s important that we don’t lose our way.

There is a reason I put suffering so far down. When you’re in pain and suffering, look up farther in the pyramid. God is in control. God’s ways are higher. God is love. God is good. God exists. These are true whether your life is going well or not so well. These are true whether someone else’s life is going well or not so well.

If you start doubting the top of the pyramid, where will that lead you? How would your life be different with “God doesn’t exist” at the top?

Next time you read something in the Bible that confuses you or causes doubt, refer to your hierarchy of truth. It should save you from having to rebuild a pyramid every time you encounter a difficult life event.

Occasionally, you might find your pyramid has a weak point that needs to be strengthened. For example, you might need to know God’s forgiveness, and therefore, “God is love” fits closer to the top. This isn’t to say that truth can change but only recognizes that your understanding of what belongs at the top can shift some as you grow.

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.
    Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.

Proverbs 9:10 NLT

Wisdom starts with (or is founded upon) fearing the Lord. Fear of the Lord is the top of the pyramid. God exists. He’s in control. He holds your very life. You live and breathe only because God wills it.

What struggles cause you to doubt? What helps you remain faithful (full of faith) despite circumstances?

Learn more about confidence in the Lord.
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Last updated May 28, 2023

How To Grow More Confident

How To Grow More Confident

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Who wants to be confident? Everybody does That’s because possessing confidence means you have resilience, reliability, and strength. We are all familiar with what its opposite involves: self-doubt, insecurity, and discouragement. The cost of a lack of confidence is high.

So, why aren’t more people brimming over with confidence? Because it comes with a price. Are you willing to endure whatever it takes to gain this sense of peace and security?

To become strong, you first need to be more fully in touch with the ways you are weak. How aware are you of how you are doing emotionally? Fortunately, there is a shortcut to finding and building your endurance and confidence.

Listen To Your Body To Grow Confident

When I go running for more than a few minutes, my focus changes. As fatigue sets in, I have to motivate myself to keep going. I become more aware of the finish line. How much farther do I have to go? Will I be able to make it without stopping?

Fatigue can result in discouragement or you can allow it to produce a determination to keep going. When I become fatigued while running, it’s nearly impossible not to notice the strain on my body. But what is more interesting is how my physical health and my emotional health are linked.

God made our brains to store similar experiences together. Running triggers my brain to focus on the theme of whatever is desperately concerning me. When my body protests because of the physical strain, my brain brings my most serious emotional concerns into my awareness. I become flooded with what matters most to me. The thoughts can be obstacles on my path to a life well-lived.

Test Your Limits To Grow Confident

To grow in endurance, you have to test your limits. The testing identifies weak areas that need strengthening. Growth is stressful, usually requiring an upfront investment for a future payoff. Growth costs you your immediate state of relaxation.

When we can trust God with this process, the value of the reward far exceeds the stress.

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:1-5 NLT

God is saying your problems and trials lead to a satisfying, secure, and confident hope. The development of character is the proof of your salvation–your entrance into heaven and eternal life. Furthermore, a heart full of love has no room for fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18 NIV

The next time you want to feel better, try wearing yourself out exercising (or whatever works for you). Then note what surfaces in your mind. That could be an area of weakness that God is working on so you can feel more confident.

We can see life as a painful struggle, but God sees it as endurance training. And endurance results in many good things such as peace, confidence, and character.

Read more about confidence.
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Last Edited 2023/01/29

Transform Fake Happiness Into Genuine Joy

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Reading time: 3 minutes

You can only be conscious of a few things at any one time. But there are many thoughts and feelings that live beneath the surface. The important ones will attempt to surface, especially the negative and painful ones. Chances are, you’re not excited about allowing them to surface. That’s why you might choose fake happiness instead of genuine joy.

To explain the problems with this situation, I like to use the analogy of a child and a parent. The child wants to express the pain and be comforted. The rational-focused parent says, “not now, I’m busy.” There is definitely a need for the rational parent, because most of the time, it’s not practical or healthy to let a complaining child have full control.

However, “not now” can easily become “never.” It’s easy to procrastinate when uncomfortable feelings are pushing their way to the surface. A balance is needed. The head (the parent) should remain in control, but the head should provide the needed time for the heart (the child) to share its concerns.

Without time to express feelings, a person will become more and more compartmentalized. A small to moderate amount of compartmentalization is helpful when it’s time to be a responsible adult. But the deeper a memory is buried with passing time, the easier it becomes to believe the memory isn’t a part of the real you. And, that’s a dangerous position to be in.

Your personal history shouldn’t be erased because doing so will increase the likelihood of repeating your mistakes. If you can’t remember what you already tried, including how it turned out, you may be doomed to repeat history. Instead, there is another option: transform your personal history through healing and forgiveness.

Everything that happens to you provides an opportunity for you to identify and understand who you are. If you attempt to ignore your memories, you will lose a part of yourself in the process. Every time this happens, you become a little less authentic. That is because buried negative experiences continue to leak lies into your self-image. They poison your self-worth. To heal you must bring the truth in contact with your experiences.

If your primary goal is to be happy, then you might choose to ignore unhappy thoughts and feelings. But this will only lead to the need to invest increased amounts of energy to keep up the appearance of being happy. You’ll have to fake it, and, unless something else changes, there’s no way to “fake it until you make it.” You can’t fake your way into genuine joy.

When you fake your happiness around other people, you’ll likely suffer greater depression when you are once again alone. The size of your problem hasn’t necessarily grown. But you will experience it as more painful because you haven’t been able to share your true feelings with another person.

Happiness will endure so long as your circumstances are positive. The minute you experience a setback, your negative feelings will attempt to surface. However, when you learn how to work through difficult feelings, you learn how to maintain joy regardless of your circumstances.

Compartmentalization is an avoidance technique. It produces an immediate strength to get you through the moment, but left in place, it results in permanent weakness. It’s similar to accepting a numbing agent when you have surgery or dental work. You miss out on the sharp pain while you correct the problem. But it would be dangerous to your health to remain numb forever. Likewise, if fixing the problem is too easy, you might let yourself fall into the same trap again.

As you feel pain in life, try to remain aware of it. Include God in your awareness. You can bring the “child” to the “parent” for true healing. In order to grow stronger and healthier, you must give God access to the weakest, most vulnerable parts of yourself.

If you want to become joyful, make time to be completely honest about how you feel about what has happened in your life. Ask God to help you see the truth.

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