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Relax Into A Reliable God

Relax Into A Reliable God

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God is reliable but not predictable–He does not change in shifty ways (James 1:17). Have you ever lost something important and then felt a sickening panic when you couldn’t find it? Ever felt like you misplaced God? Nothing is lost if you know what you are looking for, where to find it, and how to detect it.

In the Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo has a moment when he can’t find The Ring. He looks all over for it and works himself into a frenzy. But then after only a few minutes, he finds it in his pocket (where he left it).

When you’ve lost something important, a few anxious minutes can feel like an eternity. When this happens, more than a physical sensation is involved. A spirit of fear can take hold. You can almost touch it like you are walking through a dense cloud of it. Before you know it, you can believe you are doomed.

God is Reliable (He’s not hiding or lost)

In Luke 15, Jesus tells several parables about us being lost and the rejoicing that happens when we repent and move toward God. While Jesus never worries or panics, it is clear that He misses us when we become distracted with life and forget about Him.

From our perspective, isn’t it usually the other way around? We think we know where we are and we declare that God is missing.

I can’t feel God anymore. God, are you there? It doesn’t feel like you are there. Don’t you care that I’m suffering?

This reminds me of Mary when her brother Lazarus died. “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:32). She is hurting and disappointed. But she knows that God’s presence makes all the difference.

God is Reliable (but you might not feel His presense)

When God is present, it is first a spiritual experience and second an emotional experience. If you find yourself all alone in the sense that you can’t feel God’s presence, you might be tuned to the wrong channel.

If you only go looking for God with your feelings, you might miss Him. He’s always there, but you can’t always feel Him. You can read the Bible and know He will never abandon you. But I’m talking about something different.

When Jesus left us, He sent His Holy Spirit to be with us.

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.

John 14:16-18 NLT

God is Reliable (your salvation is secure)

God will never leave you. If the Holy Spirit is a deposit to guarantee your salvation, then it isn’t possible to lose your salvation. There are definitely times when circumstances can convince you God is gone. The enemy is a deceiver. He wants to mislead you so you will become discouraged and stop living for God. You can’t lose your salvation, but you can “misplace” it.

God is right there “in your pocket” but if you panic, you won’t be able to sense Him. If you are blinded, God could be right there with you but, if you panic, you can blind yourself to His presence and stray into a dangerous mental state. If you can’t seem to see God and can’t believe He is with you, check if your eyes are covered with lies (real eyes realize real lies).

As believers, we can sense God’s presence without necessarily feeling God’s presence.

I believe in the sun even when it’s not shining. I believe in love even when not feeling it. I believe in God even when He is silent.

Anonymous

The next time you feel like God is absent, try reaching out with your spiritual senses. Affirm God is with you spiritually. Then ask the Holy Spirit to teach you about God’s truth and love.

This post is part of a series on eternal security. You can read the introductory post: eternal security means full assurance of salvation.
Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

Relying On Righteousness Keeps You Safe

Relying On Righteousness Keeps You Safe

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Are you the kind of person that learns the hard way or the easy way? Do you rely on your own effort or God’s effort? God’s righteousness will keep you safe. Self-reliance won’t. Developing a relationship with God is to experience eternal life.

If we are to trust in God’s righteousness, does this mean we can sin all we want without consequence? I’ve encountered some people who believe such grace is cheap. They argue that the certainty of salvation removes the incentive to stop sinning. They believe it is possible to lose salvation. The fear of losing salvation becomes the incentive to keep people from perpetual sin. Rules and consequences keep a person honest, they say.

But there is a better way to live. To feel at peace, remove your reliance on these three roadblocks: resources, responsibility, and restlessness.

Rely on Righteousness over Resources

The need for fear in a relationship with God works against the need to trust God for the security of your life. Love is a far superior motivator than fear. Love produces trust. Fear produces doubt and distance.

The distance grows as people flee the demands of obedience. The fear breeds self-reliance. Then people want freedom on their own terms. They want God’s provision but not God. They quickly receive any gift but lack respect for the giver.

The need to have resources stockpiled with no strings attached is really avoiding the fear of trusting God for your salvation. But resources bring a false sense of security at best (Luke 12:13-21).

Being responsible for your own load is a mark of maturity. The young son in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15) learned this lesson well when he was willing to work as a hired hand for his father. He understood he had taken advantage of his father and wanted to repay his father. Fortunately for him (and you and I), his father confirmed his unconditional love for the younger son. He allowed him back without demanding repayment.

Rely on Righteousness Over Responsibility

Relying on someone else to meet your needs can be a humbling experience. Some people panic when they have nothing to do but rest. They feel their life is pointless if they aren’t carrying their own weight. They require having a fear of failure hanging over their heads because it drives them forward. They need to earn their passage in life. They resist accepting any gift.

In Luke 15, the older son was responsible (“I’ve never disobeyed you”) but he lacked the humility to receive the father’s invitation. The older son wanted to continue to rely on self-effort. The younger son, when he left his father, wanted to rely on self-indulgence. When the resources ran out, he switched to self-effort (“Make me your hired hand”), but quickly accepted his father’s correction; he accepted the ring of sonship and the invitation to the feast.

Both the self-indulgent person and self-righteous person value control over the vulnerability of depending on God. Both are uncomfortable feeling needy. The irresponsible person tries to secure their freedom through any means necessary (often by being bad). The responsible person tries to earn their own way by being good.

Rely on Righteousness Over Restlessness

So long as you’re depending upon God’s righteousness, you can be sure of your salvation. Eternal security depends on the faith, trust, and hope you place in God. Those who worry about losing their salvation are stuck in a moment of time. They refuse to walk the path that increases their reliance on God. They can feel no hope because they are focused on fear rather than on God.

Years ago I went repelling for the first time. Somehow I intuitively understood that to descend to the bottom, I had to lean all the way out from the edge of the cliff. Without a rope and a secure anchor, this would result in a much faster (and deadly) descent. But trusting in the anchor and leaning all the way out made for a pleasant, peaceful descent.

The same is true for your life as a Christian. You must put all your trust in your connection to God to experience a peace that surpasses understanding.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

This post is part of a series on eternal security. You can read the introductory post: eternal security means full assurance of salvation.
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Demonstrate Faith To Complete Your Training

Demonstrate Faith To Complete Your Training

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The fourth and final step to complete your training depends upon the lessons learned in the first three steps. The first three steps build faith so you can achieve victory over significant life challenges. This post describes step 4 of 4 of the transformative journey.

Depend on God Alone to Demonstrate Faith

From steps two and three, a person learns to tell the difference between friends and enemies. To complete your training you need to learn more than that. You must also come to realize that even friends can let you down. They can and will help, but they are limited just like you.

In Star Wars, Luke wants Han Solo to help but he presses forward even when Han plans to return home when the rebels need him most. Luke listens to Obi-Wan’s prompting to “use the force” instead of relying on his ship’s computer sensors. But Luke is the one who turns off his targeting computer.

Only God gives inward peace,
    and I depend on him.
God alone is the mighty rock
    that keeps me safe,
    and he is the fortress
    where I feel secure.

Psalm 62:5-6 CEV

When have you been tempted to wait for someone (other than God) to rescue you? Even when your friends help, keep in mind that God is the only one who can bring about a victory. Count on your friends, but never stop counting on God no matter what else happens.

Confront Goliath-sized Problems to Demonstrate Faith

What good would all the trouble of the first three steps be if you didn’t put it into practice? God prepares us for bigger problems than we can handle alone. Our active faith in Him paves the way for victory.

Luke takes on the death star, against incredible odds. He stays focused on his target while relying on fate. After his victory, Obi-Wan says, “Remember, the force will be with you always.”

David certainly had to rely only on God to be able to defeat Goliath. All of his other friends were too afraid to attack him. But David attacked Goliath in the name of the Lord. “In the name” is the same as saying “by the power.”

Today the Lord will help me defeat you. I’ll knock you down and cut off your head, and I’ll feed the bodies of the other Philistine soldiers to the birds and wild animals. Then the whole world will know that Israel has a real God. Everybody here will see that the Lord doesn’t need swords or spears to save his people. The Lord always wins his battles, and he will help us defeat you.

1 Samuel 17:46-47 CEV

Have you ever felt like God has abandoned you? Are you so discouraged that you have stopped trying to exercise your faith? You wouldn’t have a need for faith if you alone had the power to obtain the victory. Step out in faith to tackle problems bigger than yourself that you know God wants to resolve.

Mentor Others to Demonstrate Faith

As God has been faithful to you, share your faith with others. No matter how old you are, your faith will continue to grow as you put it into practice. You can testify about God at any age, but those who have walked with the Lord longer will have a stronger story to tell.

Now that I am old and gray,
    do not abandon me, O God.
Let me proclaim your power to this new generation,
    your mighty miracles to all who come after me.

Psalm 71:18 NLT

Take some time to remember all the ways God has been faithful to you. Don’t stop remembering until you can conclude that God has been faithful to you. This doesn’t mean you have never had trouble or heartache. It only means that you didn’t lose the sense of God’s goodness along the way.

A strong faith believes in God even when circumstances are challenging.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Learn To Trust To Complete Your Training

Learn To Trust To Complete Your Training

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Trust is an essential skill for many aspects of life. It’s the foundation of every relationship you have. You need relationships to move forward in life. This post describes step 3 of 4 of the transformative journey.

Learn To Trust: Be Vulnerable in Relationships

You can’t accomplish anything apart from God. And, since God uses other people, you probably need them too. Trusting involves risk, but it also results in vulnerability which is required if you want to grow more emotionally healthy. It’s easy to trust when no suffering is involved. But God wants us to wait patiently for Him during our suffering.

The Lord’s people may suffer a lot,
but he will always bring them safely through.

Psalm 34:19 CEV

In Star Wars, when Luke attempts to rescue Princess Leia, he ends up trapped in a room-sized trash compactor. When a creature in the compactor strangles him and pulls him underwater, and yet again when the compactor starts shrinking, he must rely not only on his friends Han Solo and Princess Leia but also his droids C3PO and R2D2.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 40:1 NIV

When have you had no choice but to trust others when you’ve been at the bottom of your pit?

Learn To Trust: Replace Lies with Truth

In the midst of suffering, God would have us both accept the suffering and yet confront the lies that the suffering makes possible. When faced with the hopelessness of the moment, hope in God’s decisive, but future, victory is the only way to endure the pain.

Luke escapes the compactor only to see his mentor Obi-Wan struck down by Darth Vader. At that point, he lacks the understanding that something better is coming. But before Obi-Wan dies, he tells Vader, “You can’t win. If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can imagine.” I imagine that’s what Jesus could have said to the devil.

Obi-Wan’s sacrifice is Luke’s gain because he can speak directly to Luke through the force. I know the force is fiction and impersonal, but it’s hard not to think of the parallels to the Holy Spirit after Jesus’s sacrifice. Obi-Wan guides Luke similarly to how the Holy Spirit guides Christians into truth.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

Psalm 40:2 NIV

What lies are you believing about God or yourself that keep you in a pit? When have you experienced God removing sin, cleaning you, and blessing you with the truth so your footing is firm?

Learn To Trust: Accept a Positive Interpretation of Your Life

When you experience God the Holy Spirit within you, you have no choice but to see who you are from a positive perspective. You can rejoice that God’s sacrifice sets you free to contend with evil. Life can be hard, but victory is not only possible, it’s guaranteed.

After Luke feels the sting of Obi-Wan’s death, he resolves to continue to fight against evil. His confidence increases as he realizes he has the skills needed to contend with evil. “It’s not impossible,” Luke says as the rebels discuss the death star attack plan. Later he agrees with an old friend that, “they will never stop us.”

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

Psalm 40:3 NIV

When have you had a goal so big that you have no choice but to trust God for a positive outcome?

God is worthy of trust no matter the degree of difficulty you face in this life. There are plenty of “false gods” to choose instead of God, but these will only keep you in a pit.

Blessed is the one
who trusts in the Lord,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

Psalm 40:4 NIV

What false gods do you need to put out of your life so you can accept the amazing plans God has for you?

Read more about developing trust.
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Have Mercy On Me

Lord Jesus Have Mercy On Me

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When I get stressed I sometimes pray the Jesus Prayer to help me focus on God more than my concerns: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me (some people add, a sinner).

I first heard about the Jesus Prayer through a friend who uses it for his personal meditations. According to Wikipedia, it first came into use around the 5th century BC and is based upon three separate scriptures. The prayer definitely brings to mind the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax collector in Luke 18:

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’

Luke 18:13 ESV

The parable focuses on dependence upon God. It’s a humble plea for forgiveness. The prayer’s references to Jesus and Son of God emphasize God’s strengths amidst our weakness.

Because I know Jesus saved me from my sin already, I don’t repeat this prayer to secure my salvation. God hears all our prayers the first time. Repeating the prayer helps me focus on God’s presence in the moment of my concern.

I can struggle with how to best use my time while I’m still on earth. Am I focusing on what matters most? Will I have enough time to accomplish my goals? I realize God knows what is best; where my goals differ from His, His goals are more important. But this knowledge alone doesn’t remove all of my stress.

The prayer helps me focus on surrendering my life into Jesus’s hands. Praying this way reminds me that He is in control. The more I’m able to do this, the more relaxed I become.

Would you like to strengthen your connection with God? Connecting with God can help put your worries to rest. Repeating the Jesus Prayer can create a unique focus. The main goal is not to see all your wishes come true. Instead, the focused prayer, when used the right way, becomes worship. Whenever you worship God, you are automatically more relaxed.

When you repeat the phrase multiple times (sincerely and pausing in between each time) it’s impossible to not come away with a sense of Jesus’s position of power and your position of vulnerability. The moment this happens, you can release your burdens to the One who has all things under control.

Alternate Uses

You can customize the Jesus Prayer according to your immediate need. I recommend you start with the original phrase and then consider various changes to move deeper into prayer. When you are ready for something different, try emphasizing words or shortening the prayer. Eventually you might try substituting different words.

Emphasize Key Words

Focus on one or two words at a time. For example, if you emphasize Lord, you can begin to examine how Jesus being Lord influences how you feel about your concerns.

  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.
  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.
  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.
  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.

Focusing on the name Jesus Christ allows for more intimacy. You are calling the God of the universe by His personal name. When you experience God’s care for you, that’s personal.

Son of God emphasizes that Jesus comes from God and is God. But it also alludes to Jesus being the son of man, which emphasizes that Jesus is our human priest who is perfect and can sympathize with our weaknesses.

Emphasizing mercy is also helpful when you want to acknowledge and confess your sin. “Have mercy on me” is an intimate plea to experience God’s love and forgiveness.

Remove Key Words

Next, try shortening the phrase to discover different meanings. Each of the following has a different feel to them than the longer version.

  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy.
  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God.
  • Lord Jesus Christ.
  • Lord Jesus.
  • Lord.
  • Lord have mercy.
  • Son of God have mercy.

Substitute Key Words

Swap out a word to create your own meaning. For example, instead of “have mercy on me”, you could say, “strengthen my spirit.”

  • Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, grant me wisdom.
  • Lord Jesus Christ, your will be done in my life.
  • Lord Jesus Christ, my savior, have mercy on me.
  • Jesus, be near to me and save me from my troubles.
  • Jesus, I surrender all of me.
  • Jesus, forgive me for all of my sins.
  • Lord Jesus, have your way with me.

You can’t go wrong by focusing on powerful truths about who God is. In case you are wondering, repeating specific words doesn’t grant you any special or magical powers. But, there is power in prayer and in the truth of the scriptures.

You can trust a powerful God who also cares enough to relate to you in your weakness. The brevity of the prayers allows you to focus on the spiritual connection so you can relax your heart and mind, instead of filling your mind with many words and many worries.

Speaking of which, here is another type of prayer from me to you:

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26 NIV

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Overcome Resistance To Complete Your Training

Overcome Resistance To Complete Your Training

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In order to complete a transformative journey, you first need to overcome your resistance to asking for help. This post describes step 1 of 4 of the transformative journey.

Often, life must become unmanageable or unbearable in some way before a person will be willing to seek help. There is a saying, “Only when the pain of remaining the same is worse than the pain of changing, will someone make the effort to change.”

You can let your pain build until it reaches such a critical level that you suffer a catastrophic breakdown. If you want to avoid this and move forward in your life, don’t make the following three mistakes.

Mistake #1: Fail to Overcome Resistance by Ignoring Problems

When a person is in denial they will attempt to cope with their problems so they can remain self-sufficient. Coping attempts to minimize the pain instead of eliminate the pain. Most people think of a problem as a negative event, but a lack of a positive event can also be a problem.

In Star Wars, Luke’s problem was more than the fact that he wasn’t happy as a farmer. He also wasn’t happy because he wasn’t able to pursue using his gifts for an even greater good. Helping his aunt and uncle was good, but helping to destroy the death star was far better.

There is a path before each person that seems right,
    but it ends in death.

Proverbs 14:12 NLT

Are you on a path that seems good, but it is really leading you nowhere?

Mistake #2: Fail to Overcome Resistance by Clinging to Selfish Goals

When a person believes lies (such as “I’m worthless”), they lack the insight to look beyond their own circumstances. A person who clings to their selfish goals will fail to overcome problems and will experience painful loss.

Luke wants to fight the empire but he can’t see past his obligation to help his uncle. He does what seems right until fate brings serious trouble to his doorstep.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
    The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.

Proverbs 22:3 NLT

Are you pressing ahead just because you want to or because it seems to be the safest route, despite some sense of looming consequences?

Mistake #3: Fail to Overcome Resistance by Refusing Help

The foolish person will refuse help even while they are suffering. Fear can stop many a dream from becoming reality.

Luke knows the rebels need help defeating the empire. Obi-Wan asks Luke to join him and offers to train him. Luke isn’t ready yet to leave home. He uses the excuse that he can’t get involved because he has work to do.

Fools think they know what is best,
    but a sensible person listens to advice.

Proverbs 12:15 CEV

But when he finds that the empire is looking for his droids, he realizes that his aunt and uncle are in danger. Only when he is faced with their death does he have nothing left to prevent him from accepting Obi-Wan’s offer.

This logic might look like I’m saying that a young adult should always put their own ambitions ahead of their parent’s counsel. There might be more times that it is prudent to follow your parents. But in this case, the parents are the ones holding their child back from what is better–meaning what is better for God’s kingdom.

If you love your father or mother or even your sons and daughters more than me, you are not fit to be my disciples.

Matthew 10:37 CEV

So then, consider if there is anything you are refusing to do that would benefit God’s kingdom more than what you are already doing. What help do you need to overcome your resistance and make it happen? Who has already been offering their help? Ask God for wisdom and understanding so you can see your best path forward without serious consequences, if possible.

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7 Principles To Grow Your Marriage

7 Principles To Grow Your Marriage

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Marriage is both the most challenging relationship and the most rewarding relationship. While working on your marriage, allow these principles to guide you.

1 – Two Healthy Individuals Make A Healthy Marriage

God says two people will become one flesh—meaning husband and wife function together, inseparably, like one body. You are on the same team which will grow stronger as each individual grows stronger. Your loyalty to each other should be greater than all other relationships. God gives each sex its own role to contribute to the good of the team. Being one flesh doesn’t mean you lose your individuality. The more you become the person God made you to be, the better off your marriage will be.

Read Genesis 2:15-25 and Mark 10:1-9.

2 – Change The Marriage By Changing Yourself

When you focus on yourself, which you can control with God’s help, you help your marriage in the most efficient way. Life is primarily a place for you to explore how you can grow and secondarily a place where you can expect God to address your partner’s flaws. Focus on your own growth twice as much as your partner’s growth. Increase your awareness of what is happening with you. Ask God for what you need rather than demanding your partner be a certain way.

Read Matthew 7:1-12.

3 – Your Partner Does Not Owe You Anything

Each of us is on our own journey to become more loving, which is clearly God’s goal for every believer. Do not judge your partner (do not condemn); instead use discernment to determine your response. You are accountable to God for your behavior regardless of your partner’s behavior. Making requests is legitimate because marriage is a cooperative effort, but coercing your partner into your desired behaviors won’t work in the long run. If you take advantage of your partner, you are also hurting yourself. If you are depleted, first look to God, the source of everything good.

Read Romans 14:12-13 and Galatians 6:1-4.

4 – Your Relationship With God Outlasts Your Marriage

Marriage ends upon death and it doesn’t exist in heaven. A covenant is unconditional. Your vows and commitment to your partner are first made to God—to serve His plans and grow His kingdom.

Read Matthew 22:30.

5 – Boundaries Are Protective Not Harmful

Relationships thrive on freedom and self-control. Decide for yourself but let your partner decide for himself or herself. You can enforce a boundary for yourself (choose how you want to respond) but boundaries are not placed on others (don’t imagine you can control your partner’s behavior).

Read Galatians 5:1, 5:13-25, and 6:5.

6 – Your Partner Can Manipulate You Only If You Allow It

If your partner attempts to persuade you, your response is your responsibility. Speak for yourself only. If you don’t want to go along with your partner’s request (or aggressive demand), speak up to declare your disagreement. A healthy individual maintains their integrity at all times. Don’t compromise who God made you to be. This is not a license for selfishness.

Read Galatians 5:13-25 (again).

7 – Only God Knows Everything

Learn about your partner but don’t presume to know your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or motives. If you believe you are discerning a particular idea, mood, or attitude, ask for clarification tentatively. Instead of stating, “You are…” ask, “Are you…?” or state “I am…” Overcommunicate with each other to reduce the chances of misunderstanding.

Read 1 John 3:20 and Hebrews 4:13.

These 7 principles aren’t the only ones I use in counseling, but they are a good place to start if you are seeking help for your marriage. As you can hopefully see by now they carry the theme that you should focus on what you can control and leave the rest up to God. You can’t ever go wrong by pursuing a better marriage that way.

Read more about freedom in marriage.
Read more about overcommunicating.
Picture by Matt Pavlik from Marriage From Roots To Fruits.
If you want help working on these principles in your marriage, contact Matt Pavlik.

Get Out of Spiritual Debt

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How are you doing spiritually? Would you say you are running your spiritual race with ease or friction? By friction, I mean the weight of spiritual debt.

What Is Spiritual Debt?

Spiritual debt is anything that slows you down from advancing God’s kingdom. Spiritual debt = doubt = disbelief.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Hebrews 12:1 NLT
Our human economy operates on money; God's economy operates on faith. Share on X

Having doubt is like having debt. You can still move forward in life, but your opportunities are limited.

And without faith it is impossible to please [God], for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6 ESV

But I Struggle With Doubt

Doubt is okay for the moment, but it’s something to actively work to get out of. Don’t feel condemnation if you have doubts; everybody doubts. But heavy, chronic doubt is an indication of weak, immature faith. You can’t feel close to God while simultaneously doubting Him.

God doesn’t want you to be weak or ineffective. Faith is like a muscle. You must exercise your faith muscles daily.

You can’t manipulate God into doing your will, but exercising your faith brings you deeper into His presence. Faith is belief. Faith is a gift of God.

Increase your faith by holding firm to all you believe.

Remember to stay alert and hold firmly to all that you believe. Be mighty and full of courage.

1 Corinthians 16:13 TPT

Increase your faith by asking God to increase your faith. Ask God to increase your conviction that He is good and wants to reward you.

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What To Do When Life Feels Out of Control

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3 Steps When You are Overwhelmed

Life happens. What do you do when it’s not what you were expecting? If God is loving, how come He allows (seemingly) random tradgedies in our lives? When we are in serious pain, it is easy to push a (seemingly) passive God further away. Sometimes it even feels God is aggressively destroying us. How does God stand idlely by? Should our goal be to rid ourselves of pain? What other thing do you instinctually grab for even when the “right answer” is before you? These questions can be summarized down to one other question. Who (or what) do you really trust in? We know the Bible says God is trustworthy. Often God doesn’t feel trustworthy. What can you do when you feel overwhelmed?

Endure Hardship

Endure. Be still. Refocus. We can accept hardship as discipline. Can we? Does it work? What happens when we are already not trusting God, and something (else) terrible happens? God has “rejected us”, so we want to reject Him! Maybe that is good. Because, the God we are angry at is not the true God. We should reject the false God and look to the true God. We can accept hardship in our lives. The trick is to see it in the right light. Most of the time we see hardship as negative – an indication that God has removed His love from us. But Hebrews 12:5-11 turns this around. Hardship proves we are legitimately God’s child.

Fear or Faith

When we are overwhelmed, it leaves the door open for fear. In the midst of feeling overwhelmed, check in with yourself. How high is your fear level? Are you a conduit of fear or faith? Fear has a way of disrupting life and making matters much worse than they are (pretty much true of any kind of darkness). The Bible says perfect love casts out fear. Each day, find some way to open the door to God’s love.

Cast your Anxiety

We can open ourselves by casting our anxiety on God. God knows we suffer, because He suffered too. There is no better way to suffer than to suffer in the presence of God. With our faith, we trust again that God will hear. We pour out our feelings to God, so God can fill us with good things – perfect love. This is not an easy process. Grieving never is. But it is on the path to healing.

Reflections

  1. Is it easier to endure hardship when you know (you really feel) you are God’s child?
  2. When you are overwhelmed, pay attention to how much you responding in fear or in faith. Are you surprised? How much is pure fear?
  3. How do you feel about pouring out your anxiety in faith?
  4. Jesus, help us turn to you when our circumstances do not make sense. Teach us to trust. Amen.

Resources

Hebrews 12:5-11

… Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. …

Read on Bible Gateway

1 John 4:18

18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Read on Bible Gateway

1 Peter 5:6-11

… Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. … And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Read on Bible Gateway

Be Spiritually Competent

Be Spiritually Competent

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Being spiritually competent probably means many different things to different people. I take it to mean a combination of discerning the truth and living out the truth so that you become emotionally healthy. The spiritually competent Christian knows how to interpret the Bible and actively pursues spiritual growth.

Carl Jung, a psychologist, said, “To be fully aware and embracing of all that is within us and consciously seeking to be all that we can be is our most noble quest.” To be that aware is only possible with God’s divine help. If we want to know ourselves better, we must also know God better. When we know God better, we will also know ourselves better.

Each moment in life presents an opportunity to either improve your competence or to remain indifferent. Your choice won’t change your worth before God, however, how you experience life will be vastly different.

Jung had another well-known phrase, “Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.” It is profound but it is also somewhat cryptic. It’s worth a deeper look. Put another way, Jung is saying you can either suffer legitimately or suffer neurosis.

The Spiritually Competent Avoid Suffering Needlessly

The greatest way to suffer needlessly is at your own hand. So often we inflict unnecessary punishment upon ourselves as a penance. Life has enough consequences built in without you adding your own.

Christ has already paid for your past, present, and future sins. What happens if you don’t fully grasp this core truth of the gospel? You probably develop some sort of neurosis.

C. George Boeree thought of neurosis as a “poor ability to adapt to one’s environment, an inability to change one’s life patterns” with symptoms such as “anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, low sense of self-worth, phobic avoidance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, [unhealthy] dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism…” (1)

Is it possible that these symptoms show up as a result of avoiding the hard work of spiritual growth? I’m not suggesting it’s wrong to feel anxious or depressed but I am suggesting that it’s certainly possible to reduce and even eliminate them.

Jung was an early advocate for character development in its most pure sense. He knew that we can only really be happy, fulfilled, and socially productive when we have not only come to know but also come to terms with our biggest challenge: ourselves.

Dr George Simon, Phd (2)

The Spiritually Competent Suffer As God Wills

Hebrews 10:32-39 and 1 Peter 3:13-17 provide a biblical perspective on legitimate suffering. It’s better to suffer while doing good than doing evil. Sometimes no matter what you do, you’re going to suffer. So it might as well be for the noblest reasons.

To suffer legitimately means you accept life as it is. You don’t need to escape from the fact that all living beings experience some suffering. The criminals on their crosses illustrate this idea:

One of the criminals hanging on the cross next to Jesus kept ridiculing him, saying, “What kind of Messiah are you? Save yourself and save us from this death!” The criminal hanging on the other cross rebuked the man, saying, “Don’t you fear God? You’re about to die! We deserve to be condemned. We’re just being repaid for what we’ve done. But this man—he’s done nothing wrong!” Then he said, “I beg of you, Jesus, show me grace and take me with you into your everlasting kingdom!” Jesus responded, “I promise you—this very day you will enter paradise with me.”

Luke 23:39-43 TPT

The first criminal was trying to weasel his way out of the punishment as if he didn’t deserve it. The second criminal accepted the punishment but appealed to God’s grace. The avoidance of developing character leads away from legitimate suffering and toward distressing symptoms. The worst kind of suffering is suffering for no good reason.

If you try to cheat life by hoping someone will ignore your sins and give you a free pass, your circumstances will likely overtake you. This requires no effort on your part, but you can end up suffering more this way than the way of character development.

If you choose growth you will become more resilient and better able to meet life’s demands. This way requires you to choose humility by owning your sins and relying on God’s grace. Accepting responsibility for what you’ve done doesn’t usually remove consequences. You might still suffer, but your suffering will bear fruit, and being spiritually competent will ease your pain. Isn’t the attitude of the second criminal much better than the first?

Read more about suffering needlessly.
(1) modified from what I found on https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurosis
(2) Additional thoughts on Carl Jung can be found at https://counsellingresource.com/features/2010/08/03/jung-words-of-wisdom
Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay

Act With Authority As You Live By The Spirit

Act With Authority As You Live By The Spirit

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Authority implies both confidence and the power to back it up. How often do you feel confident enough to act with God’s power? If you’re like me, you can never have too many reminders that God is on your side empowering you accomplish His will.

God wants us to act with authority when we are in alignment with His desires.

Act With Authority: Prioritize God’s Kingdom

If God wants something to happen, He can supply all you need to accomplish it. God knows what is most important in life. It’s those most important tasks that will ultimately bring the most joy by fulfilling them.

Sometimes, it’s hard to see what tasks are kingdom-focused. There are so many distractions and possibilities for how to live. The verse below starts with “seek.” Other words for seek are: pursue, explore, investigate, follow. That would imply that out understanding of God’s kingdom isn’t complete.

God also wants us to pursue what is right and reasonable. Believers have the mind of Christ, so we have some idea of what to pursue. Walking in the Spirit and being connect with God’s mind provides all we need to act with authority.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Matthew 6:33 NLT

Act With Authority: Don’t Worry

If you want something more than God thinks you need it, then you’ll end up carrying the burden for claiming it.

If you and Jesus are yoked together pulling a great weight, the effort required will be burdensome or manageable depending upon who is more eager to pull the weight.

If you are in a place of submission by letting Jesus lead, He will do most of the heavy lifting. But if in your impatience, you want to move faster than Jesus, you will feel the strain on your shoulders.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

Act With Authority: Work Hard

Allowing God to lead doesn’t mean there is nothing left for you to do. God wants us to labor with all we have.

God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 4:10-11 NLT

Therefore, we should develop a sophisticated believe system that allows for a complex application of God’s truth. We can both be dependent upon God’s strength and fully exercise our own strength. Both require faith because our strength can’t compare to God’s. But God wants us to participate with Him in the pursuit of His kingdom.

As you go about your days ahead, exercise your faith by seeking God’s kingdom. Put into practice all that you’ve learned from the Bible, the Spirt, and other believers. While you do this, be aware of God’s strength working in your life.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead

Ephesians 1:18-20 NIV

Grow Your Desire To Advance God’s Kingdom
Image by 4144132 from Pixabay

Man desiring to be powerful, looking to God for help.

Be Powerful Without Being Self-absorbed

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The quickest way to be powerful is to develop healthy doses of humility and confidence. If you lean too far in one direction then life becomes unbalanced and can lead to a world of hurt and trouble. But, healthy humility and confidence result in joy.

How does joy related to power? To answer this, I first want you to consider the following four possible combinations of humility and confidence:

  • Self-loathing: a false humility without much if any confidence means harmfully low self-worth. This person actively rejects the truth about who God is and who He made them to be.
  • Self-deprecating: a helpful amount of humility without enough confidence leads to questionable self-worth. This person is healthy when they have a lighthearted ability to laugh at their mistakes. However, their negative self-expression can also come from a poisoned self-image.
  • Self-confident: a helpful dose of humility and confidence means self-care without arrogance. This person lets God be God while also feeling good about who they are.
  • Self-absorbed: too little humility with too much confidence results in an inflated sense of importance. This person becomes overcompensates for their low self-worth by focusing too much on trying to feel powerful. Increasing focus on self becomes a dead-end at self-loathing. An unhealthy preoccupation with self misses out on what God has to offer.

People become self-absorbed when they look only within themselves to heal their brokenness. In futility, people try to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. But, the power that originates anywhere except from God promises only the illusion of confidence.

For example, if self becomes everything and God is minimized, then God isn’t in His rightful position in our lives. We’re not really going to succeed – maybe we’ll succeed with financially or something – but overall for God’s kingdom and his purposes we won’t be succeeding.

Be Humble So You Can Be Powerful

The world says you must be strong and independent to be powerful. But an “I can do it all by myself” attitude fails to activate God’s power.

Do you want to be full of your own power or full of God's power? You can be humble, confident, and full of God's power. Why settle for only what you can muster without God? Share on X

God says to be powerful, you must be weak enough to accept His help. A healthy weakness is a vulnerable dependence. Depending upon God activates His power.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

Be Confident So You Can Be Powerful

If you focus too much on God, if that’s possible, and minimize yourself then you can develop self-loathing where you don’t feel like you’re much of anything. Self-loathing is simply another form of arrogance that blocks God out of your life.

God’s power isn’t going to shine through you then. You need to have a right view of yourself so that God’s power will rest on you and work through you.

Be Joyful So You Can Be Powerful

The joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). How can you experience joy if you carry the heavy load of bitterness toward your own spirit?

Passively waiting for God to make you powerful doesn’t work. To be full of power, you must actively allow God to fill you, which also means keeping yourself empty of substitute fillings. Being filled with the Spirit means having great joy in God.

So be very careful how you live, not being like those with no understanding, but live honorably with true wisdom, for we are living in evil times. Take full advantage of every day as you spend your life for his purposes. And don’t live foolishly for then you will have discernment to fully understand God’s will. And don’t get drunk with wine, which is rebellion; instead be filled with the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 5:15-18 TPT

How Can We Be Powerful And Not Self-absorbed? How Can We Be Confident While Also Humble?

If we want to be powerful, we must be joyful. If we want to be joyful, we can’t live rebelliously independent from God. We must stop living with the habits of self-deprecation and self-absorption. The antidote for poisoning shame is to look to God for help.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

Psalm 34:5 NLT

So we should go for everything. We should do all that we can – shoot from the moon so to speak – but also keep that in check by accepting whatever God provides or doesn’t provide in our lives.

He may have a different plan than the one on our minds, and it may take some time to figure out what that is, but it doesn’t mean we should just be sidelined and sitting back and waiting for something to happen either.

We should take the truths in the Bible that God has given us and run with them as best as we can. But ultimately it is up to God to author our success.

The inspiration for this post came from a conversation I had with Kidron Tirey.

Image by İbarihim Halil Uyğur from Pixabay

Know Your Priorities To Increase Life Satisfaction

Know Your Priorities To Increase Life Satisfaction

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What good are priorities? They:

  • Prevent aimless wandering through life.
  • Provide a focus for the energy God gives you.
  • Enable a meaningful way to resolve conflict.

If you don’t know what you want, life becomes an exercise in trial-and-error. That’s not necessarily bad the younger you are. But over the years, you should develop a greater sense of what life is about.

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.

Lewis Carroll

When you finally know what you value, you can aim your life in a specific direction. Then, the bonus side-effect of having priorities is an unshakable hope. Before you can experience the fullness of hope, you have to learn how to prioritize.

Priorities Reduce Painful Mistakes

Have you ever walked through a room at night without the lights on? If so, you know what it feels like when your toe connects with an object you thought wasn’t there. Figuratively speaking, it’s also possible to be walking through life without the light.

Priorities are like a window that exposes the desires of your heart. You can see what is going on inside your soul. When your priorities are right you are walking in the light. That’s what Jesus is saying in Matthew 6:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

Matthew 6:19-23 ESV

Priorities are values which naturally lead to specific goals. For example, if you value time with family, you might set a goal to increase your time together each week. If your values are really yours (not someone else’s imposed on you), you will be more likely to reach the goal you’ve set.

Values can be superficial, or meaningful and deeply fulfilling. For example, if you value money (prioritizing it above other things), that can be superficial if you store it up and never accomplish anything meaningful from it. But your value of money can also be fulfilling and lead to savings which can be used for good in a time of need.

Priorities Provide A Path To Contentment

After you know what you want, the next step is to learn how to be okay with not getting what you want.

As you mature emotionally and spiritually, your ability to manage life’s difficulties become easier. For example, if you believe you need to go on a vacation at a specific time and place in order to feel happy, and circumstances prevent it, you’ll have a hard time not feeling depressed or angry.

Fortunately, you can “trade up” your values. You can learn to value more than just what will provide an immediate reward. Like Paul, you can learn to be content in all circumstances.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

Isn’t it amazing how Paul can essentially be indifferent about whether he has little or an abundance?

It’s good to learn this skill. You can’t fully learn contentment without developing a greater trust in God. How much do you believe that what He provides for you is sufficient under all circumstances? Ask Him to bless you with this ability.

Life satisfaction is really about joy. When you are joyful, you can be indifferent about your circumstances. The truth that God is real and He rewards those who pursue Him is enough to keep the joy flowing in your heart. Ask God to give you a supernatural understanding of how real He is.

Read more on resolving conflict.
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Emotions Are Never Sinful

Emotions Are Never Sinful

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Emotions can reveal sin but they never stand alone as the source of sin. Emotions can lead someone to desire to sin but there is nothing wrong with feeling them. Emotions are messengers. You’ve heard the phrase, “don’t shoot the messenger,” right? A messenger can bring good or bad news, and you should welcome both, as long as the message contains no lies.

Emotions Are To The Heart As An Instrument Panel Is To The Plane

A pilot needs to know the plane’s altitude, airspeed, and direction. The pilot could look out the window to gauge these values, but the plane’s instrument panel, if it is working correctly, will be more accurate. Knowing that your plane is 400 feet off the ground, traveling at 200 MPH, and pointed toward the ground wouldn’t be good news, but it would certainly be helpful to know.

Emotions Are To The Heart As Smoke Is To Fire

Emotions are a byproduct of the heart. Your heart (the core of your life) is the source of all your emotions. Your emotions provide a window into the condition of your heart.

Smoke depends on burning material. Without fire, there would be no smoke. It’s possible to observe or collect smoke only when material burns. Smoke is a byproduct of burning material.

Your heart is the source of your emotions like fire is the source of smoke. Emotions come from your heart to bring you a message. If your heart is well, your emotions will be too. But if your heart is sick, you will feel negative emotions (unless you work to suppress them).

Jesus talked about false laws (such as ceremonial washing) that cannot defile us. He made a point that evils deeds start in the heart.

Peter replied, “What did you mean when you talked about the things that make people unclean?” Jesus then said: Don’t any of you know what I am talking about by now? Don’t you know that the food you put into your mouth goes into your stomach and then out of your body? But the words that come out of your mouth come from your heart. And they are what make you unfit to worship God. Out of your heart come evil thoughts, murder, unfaithfulness in marriage, vulgar deeds, stealing, telling lies, and insulting others. These are what make you unclean. Eating without washing your hands will not make you unfit to worship God.

Matthew 15:15-20 CEV

Will And Behavior Can Be Sinful But Never Emotions

Emotions indicate the status of your heart. The “bad news” you receive from your heart can be painful. But it’s only what you decide (with your will) to do (your behavior) with the pain that can be sinful.

The choices you make, whether in your heart, mind, or body, can be sinful. You can hold onto bitterness (heart) without acting on it. You can think vengeful thoughts (mind) without acting on them. You can strike someone with the intent to harm (body). All three of these are sins, but what about feeling angry? Is it sinful?

If you hold onto anger it becomes sinful but the original impulse is only a neutral indicator. What will you do with your anger? Welcome your angry feeling so you can better understand the condition of your heart.

Thinking of anger (or other emotions) as sinful can lead to suppressing it instead of understanding and addressing it. The reasoning goes like this: Anger is sinful. I’m angry. I need to get rid of the anger. I’ll ignore it. Now that I don’t feel angry, I’m no longer sinful. While this avoids a sinful outburst for the moment, unless the source issue of the heart is addressed, the anger will surface at a later time and likely cause even greater destruction.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

To guard your heart try this reasoning: Anger is an indicator. I’m angry. I want to understand what is happening in my heart. I know when I address the pain in my heart, I won’t feel angry anymore.

More thoughts on feelings by Matt. And, some more.
Emotions are a gauge, not a guide.
Is anger sinful?
Picture colored by Matt!

You Be The Judge

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Are We Supposed to Judge?

Wikipedia defines judgment as, “the evaluation of evidence in the making of a decision.” Matthew 7:1 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” At first glance it would appear we should avoid all judgment. Even looking further in verses 3 – 5 we can see even more reason to avoid judging others. However, as we will see the Bible acknowledges judgment as necessary. Therefore, “do not judge” in Matthew 7 has to do with the motivations of the heart when judging, not an absolute prohibition.

Good Judgment Brings Healing

Judgment is a necessary part of life. God is Judge and all fair judgment begins with God. In 1 Corinthians 6:1-6, we find that God’s people will judge the world and angels. Right judgment is empowered by the Spirit. The Spirit gives wisdom and discernment. Solomon was the wisest person ever to live. He judged between many people. His succeeded because he had God’s gifting.

Judgment brings order and maintains peace. We make judgments (discernments) all the time. It is what helps us make good decisions. We decide which job to take, which person to marry, which house to buy, etc. As parents we judge between siblings all the time. Godly discernment is a good thing.

Poor Judgment Brings Destruction

Bad judgment has sinful motives. A person giving bad judgment may do so to look better. A critical spirit is always wrong; it seeks the destruction of the other. One sign of bad judgment is that the person has not first considered how their judgment applies to their self. If this is done first, they will be more humble when seeking to correct a brother. I think this is why we are cautioned when restoring someone, so we don’t also fall into the same trap (see Galatians 6:1-10). If we don’t realize we have weaknesses we can be tempted and sin like the person we are helping restore.

Make Judgments

Bad judgment tears down. Good judgment restores, corrects, and builds up. Make judgments. But make them with your eyes wide open. Make judgments by the Holy Spirit. Keep in mind you might not be called to speak out your judgment. If you do, speak the truth in love.

Reflections

  1. Why is judging a good thing?
  2. When is judging a bad thing?

Resources

Matthew 7:1-6

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Read on Bible Gateway

1 Cor 6:1-3

If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!

Read on Bible Gateway

Avoid Legalism and Improve Your Parenting

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3 Ways to Identify Legalism and Improve Your Parenting

Legalism is destructive. It is in opposition to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But it can be subtle and therefore hard to know for sure when you are dealing with it. Let’s look at some ways to identify if you are facing legalism.

# 1: There is no Absolute

A legalistic approach involves setting up an absolute standard where one does not really exist. It focuses more on the externals (what you do or believe) than it does the internals (what is going on in your heart). Jesus described the legalists as, “white-washed tombs.” Usually, the legalist will develop a specific test that can be administered to determine if you are “in” with them or “out.” For example: Do you drink alcohol? Do you smoke? Do you read your Bible every day? Any such test is superficial because it is possible to get the right answer and still be lacking spiritual growth (or get the wrong answer, but still be growing). Unfortunately this approach can lead to teaching that it is possible to lose your salvation when you are not able to answer enough (or even one of the) questions the right way.

# 2: Distinctions are not Embraced

The legalist will be more focused on conforming others to their image instead of Jesus. Their goal is to clone everyone. This can even be taken as far as having everyone look alike (for example, everyone must dress the same). There will be a lack of acceptance of the diversity in the body of Christ. The legalist will tell you what you are supposed to believe. They will insist you act like they do and serve the way they do. They will say, “You must believe exactly what we believe, or you will not be considered in the group.” You will have to perform in order to be considered in the group. Membership in the group will be based on how well you are performing and looking like them.

# 3: Location Matters More than Direction

Legalists are not primarily concerned with your relationship with Christ. They will be more concerned with what you are doing rather than if you are moving closer to Christ. Someone focused primarily on grace will treat membership and maturity differently. With a grace-oriented paradigm, membership is achieved without having to perform. A baby is born into a family having been automatically granted membership. There will be an understanding that the baby needs to mature, but the baby will always have total acceptance. Any decent parent will not ask, “Is this baby worth keeping?”, but will ask, “Is this baby moving in the right direction?”

Conclusion

To avoid legalism, start with total acceptance of others, granting them membership. Then give them responsibility and authority depending upon their maturity. To determine maturity ask, “In what direction are they pointed and is there any movement?” Are they moving toward or away from Christ? How close are they to Christ? Don’t judge someone by how far away they are from Christ. Instead, assess the person’s maturity only for purposes of determining level of responsibility. This works well for the church family. And, it works well for the biological family. Parents are always to love, include, and accept their children unconditionally, but give out responsibility according to maturity.

Reflections

  1. What does avoiding legalism have to do with better parenting?
  2. In what ways have you accepted the subtleness of legalism into your life?

Resources

Matthew 23:27-28

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

Read on Bible Gateway

Luke 16:10

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

Read on Bible Gateway

Priorities That Keep God Prominent

Priorities That Keep God Prominent

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Christians have a dilemma when it comes to choosing their priorities. If they spend a lot of time on work or with family, does that mean God isn’t at the top of their list? Common Christian wisdom says to prioritize something like:

  1. God
  2. Spouse
  3. Children
  4. Work
  5. Family
  6. Church
  7. Self

Can you see a problem with this way of organizing priorities? What happens if you give 100% to God? Will there be anything left over for the rest of the list? What happens if you give 25% (42/168 hrs) to work and 30% (50/168) to sleep? That leaves only 45% for everything else.

A sequential (linear) list like this implies that the items at the bottom of the list are expendable. But all seven are important. There must be a way to prioritize everything.

Prioritize Yourself And Others

During an airplane emergency, when the oxygen masks drop, you are supposed to put a mask on you first so you can stay alive to help others. In that first instant, you are wise if you focus on yourself.

Jesus says to serve others and consider them more important (Philippians 2:3) but He also says to love others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:39). Usually, it is a given that people will care for themselves, so they need a reminder to think of others. Yet, sometimes people don’t even know how to care for themselves well, so they need a reminder to maintain good self-care.

John replied, “If you have two shirts, give one to the poor. If you have food, share it with those who are hungry.”

Luke 3:11 NLT

If you have more than you need (two shirts) give away what you have in excess. He isn’t saying you should give your last shirt away. He means don’t hoard extra things that others need. If you are blessed with extra, share it with others. A healthy heart practices self-care but doesn’t hoard.

Prioritize God In All You Do

The Bible says to put God’s spiritual kingdom first (Matthew 6:33). What’s a person to do? Are Christians supposed to put God, self, or others at the top of their priority lists? The Bible never contradicts itself. It might appear like it does because it is comprehensive. The Bible can correct your heart no matter if you are too self-focused, too self-neglectful, or too spiritually-focused.

Is it possible to be too spiritual? “He is so spiritually minded that he is no earthly good.” Isn’t this the same attitude that Jesus corrected in the Pharisees? They were so lawfully minded that they missed God’s desire to love people. God wants us to be motivated by His love. This means we must receive His love first.

We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:19 NIV

God doesn’t want anyone to be so consumed with Him that it isolates them from others. Neither does God want anyone to be so focused on the daily tasks of this life that they don’t have time for Him.

God and other priorities don’t have to be time-compartmentalized. Instead of time for God followed by time for others, what if you bring God into all that you do throughout your day? You can keep your mind fixed on God and check off everything on your to-do list. Here is an exercise that illustrates this principle.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

Acknowledge God in all you do (Proverbs 3:6).

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Colossians 3:2 NIV

You can honor God with your priorities as you see everything from the context of heaven. Your priorities on earth should be linked the God’s heavenly priorities. God is the glue that holds all the important stuff together as you go about your day. When you let God be involved, He has a way of helping you complete the important priorities. Keep Him in mind no matter what you are trying to do.

Read more about how priorities are linked to life-satisfaction.
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The 4 Steps to Growing a Fruitful Marriage

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You are probably thinking, “Awesome! Only four steps! I can be done next week.” But God made marriage to last a lifetime for a reason. The steps I am about to show you are real steps that we all go through at one time or another. But first, read Matthew 13:3-9.

Jesus uses the Parable of the Sower to speak about our receptivity to God’s words. Let’s consider how the parable also applies to marriage. The four types of soil in the parable match up with four types of relationships. From least to most desirable, these are Path, Rocks, Thorns, and Good Soil. The typical inexperienced couple begins as either Conflicted or Careless. Along the way, every couple experiences being Conflicted, Careless, and Choking before making it to Cooperating.

Ch01_Fruitful

The Conflicted Couple needs to learn how to experience a basic positive connection. The Careless Couple needs to experience and resolve conflict to build endurance. The Choking Couple needs to find a deeper enjoyment amidst the busyness of life. The Cooperating Couple needs to refine and maintain what they’ve accomplished so far.

As no person is perfect, no marriage is perfect. No matter which soil condition most closely describes your relationship, you can decide to grow a godly marriage by cultivating the path, clearing out the rocks, pulling out the thorns, and planting in the good soil. When you do this, you will be well on your way to yielding fruit one hundred times what was sown.

The Kingdom of God Is Like

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God’s kingdom is alive wherever Jesus Christ reigns. The best place for God to reign is in our hearts. However, remembering the spiritual reality behind the physical reality is challenging.

Jesus emphasized the kingdom frequently during His ministry. He compared the kingdom of heaven to several objects:

  • A farmer who plants seeds in various types of soil (Matthew 13:24).
  • A treasure worth selling everything for (Matthew 13:44).
  • A rare pearl worth selling everything for (Matthew 13:45-46).
  • A large fishing net capable of catching all kinds of fish (Matthew 13:47).
  • Yeast that can spread completely through dough (Luke 13:20-21).
  • A mustard seed which is small but has the potential to sustain many (Luke 13:18-19).

What do you get when you put all these together? Something small and powerful. Deceptively small and unbelievably powerful. But also large in its scope. Resilient and unstoppable. Silent and active.

When Jesus brought up these analogies for the kingdom, He went on to explain that the way to reach the kingdom is hard to find (Luke 13:24). This fits with looking for buried treasure. Nothing in all of creation is more worthwhile and meaningful than God’s kingdom.

Jesus also talked about the exclusivity of the kingdom (Matthew 13:11). Only certain people can see the kingdom and grasp its significance.

The ability to see God’s kingdom is a treasure in itself. God promises that He will give us an abundance of knowledge and understand beyond simply recognizing the kingdom (Matthew 13:12). God wants you to know the secrets of heaven.

Can you see and understand His secrets? Does the kingdom feel alive to you? Ask God to show you the kingdom along with an abundance of understanding. Tell God you want Him to reign in your heart.