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Brokenness Is Beautiful

Brokenness Is Beautiful

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Reading time: 3 minutes

When you can see your brokenness, you see yourself as you really are. It’s a wonderful moment of freedom from pretense. Seeing brokenness is simply another way to perceive what you are lacking.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 NIV

Since God is the ultimate source of all we lack, we should welcome becoming aware of our brokenness. Why is it often so terrifying then? Believe it or not, it’s possible to fear something good. We crave consistency. After we start depending on something or someone, we don’t want it to go away.

If we lack something good we can fear both:

  • that we’ll never receive what we need.
  • that what we receive will inevitably be taken away.

Both fears are realistic, yet, painful. Both are ultimately rooted in doubting God is who He says He is. God gives good things to those who believe and ask.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Hebrews 11:6; Matthew 7:11 NIV

Fear Makes Brokenness Ugly

So you can see how when fear is present, needs and desires can become completely overwhelming. If you’ve lived with deprivation for a long time, you know what I mean.

If your needs go unmet, you lose touch with what it’s like to have them met. Often this means living with an awareness that you don’t know what it is like to have them met. The longer this continues, the more difficult it is to trust it will ever be different. And, if it does happen, it will be doubly painful to lose it.

Anyone who experiences the trauma of abuse or neglect usually lives with a sense of deprivation. Abuse and neglect break trust which is essential if you want to risk the vulnerability required to have your needs met. Deprivation can be so painful that it is often more intense than the original trauma.

Coping Forever Prevents Healing

Depriving yourself for any length of time usually requires numbing your desires. If you can’t feel your hunger (emotional needs), it’s nearly impossible to over-eat (be self-centered). Unfortunately though, it is possible to under-eat (be deprived).

Cutting off your cravings for love and acceptance is a coping mechanism called dissociation. I believe dissociation to be a necessary coping to manage intense trauma. However, all coping is meant to be temporary until genuine healing and transformation are available and the person is ready.

How much a person relies on coping depends on at least two factors:

  • The intensity of the pain experienced from trauma.
  • The availability of a safe-enough relationship that promotes healing.

The intensity of the pain is mostly subjective. Some people can tolerate more pain than others. But the more the event is severe enough and prolonged enough, and if the person doesn’t have access to a caring person, the more extreme coping is needed.

One of the most intense efforts to cope with trauma is dissociation. When it becomes a mental health disorder it’s called dissociative-identity-disorder (DID).

For a person with DID, their self-awareness becomes divided into multiple parts in order to survive trauma. Therapy involves integrating the parts so that all parts receive needed healing. The end result is a person with a sense of being one integrated person (no longer needing “multiple parts”).

Another word for dissociated is broken. Everyone is broken. On this side of heaven, the opposite of being broken is being in denial. Meaning: if I can’t see my brokenness, I must be denying it.

Embrace your brokenness because it is what will drive you to God. He can help you become free from the trauma and deprivation you’ve been through.

Push Through Fear And Find Hope
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Living with Eternal Purpose

Living With Eternal Purpose: No Guts No Glory

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Do you ever feel like just being yourself is too risky? The cost of authenticity might be rejection, but the rewards lead to a life full of purpose. When you embrace who God created you to be, challenges will come—but so will deep joy and meaning. When we live in alignment with God’s design, we experience a glimpse of heaven—a foretaste of the eternal—shaping our journey with divine purpose.

Yet, too often fear holds us back. We hesitate to be vulnerable, to speak honestly, to pursue what truly matters. Why? Because rejection and failure seem unbearable. But what if we could shift our focus, seeing beyond temporary discomfort to the eternal reality that awaits us? Living with this perspective changes everything.

In another post, I wrote about the benefits of imagining what heaven will be like. I asked, “How would seeing the most optimistic vision impact how you live today?” One person’s response perfectly captures the shift from despair to hope that I aimed for. He gave me permission to share his answer:

I enjoyed the post you wrote on Heaven. Thanks for posing the question. It gave me a chance to think about what the rest of my life could look like and how it could begin to move in that direction even now. Knowing what heaven is like and who I am as God’s finished product would change how I live the rest of my days on earth.

During a recent checkup, my doctor said, “You look pretty good for someone who almost died a year ago.” Coming face-to-face with death has me thinking more about how I want to be remembered.

If I knew what God plans for me in heaven, I could risk being that person more on earth, no matter what others thought of me, because I would know it pleased God. I should be doing that anyway, but I struggle to be the best version of me. I want to:

  • be more unselfish, putting others’ needs before my own.
  • be more transparent about my feelings and not be concerned about how that would look to others.
  • speak what is in my heart; I wouldn’t be unkind, but I would be free to disagree with others and risk being rejected and isolated from others.
  • be more vulnerable to love others and help them, no matter what it costs me emotionally or materially.
  • be more humble, living out my purpose of bringing glory to God and doing things that have eternal value, not just what has meaning for my time on earth.

Acting in this way would bring more meaning to my remaining time here, leave an eternal mark, and make something in my life worth remembering to those I leave behind.

Imagining heaven’s best helps me trust God more (I can see why He led me through what He did) and value what He values. I want to see with a better perspective what is important in this life, and what matters so little because it won’t be coming with me into heaven.

This perspective has the power to transform how we live. What if, instead of fearing failure or rejection, we boldly stepped into the identity God designed for us?

How to Step Boldly into Purpose—Without Regrets

It’s easy to get stuck in hesitation, waiting for the “right time” to start living boldly. But if you knew heaven was ahead, what would you risk today to embrace the person God designed you to be?

  • Maybe you need counseling to heal from past wounds that keep you from fully stepping into your purpose.
  • Maybe it’s time to invest in a book that guides you toward deeper faith and self-awareness.
  • Maybe you need to start small, choosing one area of your life to surrender fear and embrace authenticity.

The challenge is real, the risk feels great—but the reward is eternal.

How about you? What will your life look like if you live with no regrets? No guts, no glory. When you risk being who God made you to be, God is glorified.

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

Romans 8:17 NLT

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Last Updated 20250420

Is Love A Choice

Is Love a Choice?

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Reading time: 3 minutes

God loves you. But what does this mean? God is love (1 John 4:16). So, God has to love. He can’t not love. Does He love out of obligation? Is His love involuntary?

We know God cares enough to die for us (John 3:16). He paid the price to redeem us. He is patient with us. He did what He had to do to keep us alive (spiritually).

To say love is a choice is to say that it is objective. You and I can show love despite how we feel about another person. If we only loved when we felt like it, our actions would only be motivated by how others treat us. But here I am talking about human love which can be fickle.

God’s agape is different. It always does right. It flows out of who God is. In that sense, it could be described as involuntary.

Love makes it impossible to harm another, so love fulfills all that the law requires.

Romans 13:10 TPT

Much of life is starkly unpredictable, so it’s nice that God doesn’t change His mind about loving us.

Is Love More Than a Choice?

When love is a choice, it’s a rational, steady, and dependable love. But there is more to it than that. Love as only a choice is incomplete. Love includes compassion, affection, and favor. Agape is motivated by feeling. But keep in mind that God’s feelings are pure, undefiled by any sin.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

Subjective, irrational love is at the center of agape. God is not cold, loving only out of obligation. He is passionate and unrelenting. God’s favor, from the core of His being, drives Him to save us no matter the cost.

God’s Love is Irrational

God goes “all in” with His love toward us. This makes it an extravagant love. God’s loving favor doesn’t make sense, but that’s what makes it wonderful.

God doesn’t only do the minimum decent thing to do. He doesn’t save us in compassion and then tell us to go on our way. He adopts us into His family (1 John 3:1; Romans 8:14-30).

God’s family is forever. In Isaiah 49, God’s people felt like Yahweh had abandoned them.

Yahweh responds, “But how could a loving mother forget her nursing child and not deeply love the one she bore? Even if a there is a mother who forgets her child, I could never, no never, forget you.

Isaiah 49:15 TPT

God’s affection for you is greater than any imperfect parent.

If you, imperfect as you are, know how to lovingly take care of your children and give them what’s best, how much more ready is your heavenly Father to give wonderful gifts to those who ask him?”

Matthew 7:11 TPT

God has a strong bond of love with you. He withholds nothing good from you. What can you do today to believe, trust, and feel God’s affection for you?

For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son. And since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won’t withhold from us anything else he has to give.

Romans 8:32 TPT

So, God loves you. He values you. He saves you. He rejoices because of you. He makes you a co-heir with Christ.

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-19 NIV

God has many good things in store for you, things too wonderful to fully comprehend today, but things that allow you to experience the fullness of hope as you are filled with God (Ephesians 3:20).

Read more about God’s love.
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Last updated 2023/04/30

Faith Has Nothing To Do With Circumstances

Faith Has Nothing to Do With Circumstances

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Faith is first of all unwavering trust in a person: Jesus Christ. True faith means that trust exists and remains whether or not what you’ve asked for is fulfilled. This kind of faith comes only from your relationship with Jesus, made possible by the Holy Spirit.

Faith and Doubt can Coexist

Your faith doesn’t have to be perfect. Its strength doesn’t need to be at 100% for it to be effective. You can struggle with doubt as a believer. Your struggle is also an opportunity to strengthen your convictions. God wants us to trust the person (Jesus) first, not a specific outcome. This is important because we can’t predict God’s will in many of life’s details.

Having faith in God when He answers your prayers isn’t enough. You need faith in God even when He doesn’t answer your prayers the way you expect Him to. Of course, whenever you ask for wisdom, forgiveness, or other things God is eager to give to you, then you must believe and not doubt:

…if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all. But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is driven and blown about by the wind. If you are like that, unable to make up your mind and undecided in all you do, you must not think that you will receive anything from the Lord.

James 1:5-8 GNT

What is it that you must believe? The work of God is to believe in Jesus (John 6:29). To call yourself a believer, you must know who Jesus is. You must believe He is exactly who He says He is. God is all-powerful. God is in complete control. God is wise. God is good.

Have Faith in What God Wills

If you want to improve your faith, consider asking God for the wisdom to know the difference between a prayer He will always answer with yes and others which are maybe or no. Wisdom, patience, maturity, the ability to love… God always grants these. Praying for your basic needs is likely to result in a yes. For example, you could pray that God would meet your transportation needs (likely) or you could pray for an extravagant car (less likely, but depends on why you’re asking). How this works depends on your heart–how you prioritize your life.

God answers prayers according to His sovereign plan, but He also answers them in the context of His relationship with you. Your biological father will give you good gifts if he knows and cares about you. Your heavenly father will also give you gifts appropriate to your spiritual maturity, your connection with Him, and His purposes (Matthew 7:11).

God, being good, gives good gifts. Therefore, there is never a reason to give up your faith. Faith that God is real and that He rewards those who seek Him is essential (Hebrews 11:6). Don’t give up on God!

Perhaps the times when you doubt God are the times when you are experiencing a deep sense of betrayal. God hasn’t betrayed you, but it can certainly feel that way. Even then, God would have you trust Him and continue to believe He is good and has something good in store for you.

Then you can say like Paul:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.

2 Timothy 4:7 NLT

How is your faith? It can be unwavering only because God is unwavering. God has a plan for your life. As a believer, your life always has a happy ending.

Learn more about the quality, not quantity of faith.
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Last updated 2023/11/19

Earnest Rest Reveals God's Favor

Earnest Rest Reveals God’s Favor

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Rest makes it possible to perform at your highest level. You probably do your best work when you are relaxed and “in the zone.” Have you experienced this kind of rest? Would you like to learn to enter into the rest God intends for you?

Find Rest By Finding Your Sweet Spot

God made you with an identity which is the place of optimal functioning. This sweet spot is where the least amount of effort still produces the maximum output. Hitting your sweet spot is an honorable goal. God intends for you to feel the pleasure of acting from the center of who you are. If you want to know God’s favor, first you must be free to be yourself.

Sometimes the sweet spot is elusive because of sin and the curse. They cloud and distort who you are. Sometimes you have to do what you don’t particularly want to do. Overcoming the curse requires hard work. The goal isn’t to eliminate your effort, but instead to optimize your effort. You put in your effort while relying on God to carry what you were never meant to carry.

Find Rest By Compartmentalizing Obligation

Do you know what it feels like to pursue what you want instead of what you must (because of obligation or responsibility)? God created the sabbath so you can experience unpressured living at least one day out of seven. The lift you gain from one day of rest can carry into the other six days.

Who are you when you’re under obligation? How do you fill your day to meet the demands of life? Don’t miss this: You’re probably not optimally in touch with your true identity while under obligation. That’s because obligation implies some amount of stress and that changes everything.

Who are you when you’re not under any obligation? Then, how do you live? This is what you can accomplish during productive play. Restful living means entering into a natural high by functioning at the level of God’s highest purposes for you. This is true recreation — an effort that recovers more energy than it spends.

Find Rest By Playing

Fulfilling obligations is necessary. But playing is as important as working. What do you think of when you think of playing? Productive play does not involve low-functioning activities that allow passive living. Your brain can be fully engaged and relaxed during play.

Whatever you do should have a purpose. Some activities can seem like they have no eternal significance, but if they rejuvenate you, they have value. For example, consider watching a movie. What value do you gain from it? Does it uplift or strengthen you? Does it help you to better understand life? Or does it drain you or lead you into sin?

To play is to relax. Some people can’t stop working. Their play is only work in disguise. When you practice relaxing, it will help you when you are under the stress of responsibility. You’ll be able to work more efficiently when you are under stress.

Restful living will be different for each person. What activities bring you more energy as you participate in them? In the movie, Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell says, “When I run, I feel His pleasure.” Even though he’s exerting himself completely he has entered God’s rest. He’s burdened with running, but not burdened with debilitating anxieties.

When God’s power is available genuine play is possible. That’s because He does the heavy lifting. Jesus said:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Have you ever felt God’s pleasure? You enter God’s rest and He is right there with you expressing His excitement for who you are. God is your cheerleader. Allow His cheers to propel you forward.

Learn more about play.
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Last Updated 2023/10/15

The Wisdom Of Proverbs 18:4 Is Deep

The Wisdom Of Proverbs 18:4 Is Deep

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Reading time: 3 minutes

There’s no doubt that wisdom is priceless and the Bible is the source of all wisdom. A misunderstood Bible verse can cause a life of unnecessary confusion and suffering. The Bible teaches us who we are and who God is. Both are the foundations for understanding how life works. Errors in understanding will have serious consequences.

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom and the one who obtains understanding.

Proverbs 3:13 (God’s Word Translation)

What happens if the Bible, the very source of truth, isn’t interpreted correctly? When you don’t understand a Bible verse, do you skip over it or do you stop and search for a way to better understand it? A wise person will prioritize gaining understanding. Difficult passages of the Bible make sense when you make an effort to understand them.

What Exactly is Wisdom?

Proverbs 18:4 defines wisdom as a “rushing stream.” But is that all it means?

The words of the mouth are deep waters,
    but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.

NIV (Proverbs 18:4)

What is this verse saying? Is it saying that words coming from a person are deep but wisdom is simple (shallow?) like a rushing stream? That doesn’t make sense to me, or it’s confusing at best. To me, it seems to be saying that a person’s thoughts are complicated but God’s truth is simple. While there is some truth to this, that’s not the full meaning behind this verse.

As a new Christian, I read the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible. I like it because it translates many difficult passages into more understandable English. But, for Proverbs 18:4, the NIV leaves me scratching my head.

In the post Are You Interpreting the Bible Correctly? I talked about how using multiple versions of the Bible can help you find a more accurate meaning. Let’s see how that helps.

Wisdom is Understanding

Since I became a Christian nearly 30 years ago, many new translations have been developed. This is good news because any one translation has its biases. In considering Proverbs 18:4, the NIV seems to lean more towards a word-for-word translation (like the ESV). It stays closer to the original wording but in this case, lacks readability.

Words of wisdom
are a stream
    that flows
    from a deep fountain.

CEV (Proverbs 18:4)

A person’s words can be a source of wisdom, deep as the ocean, fresh as a flowing stream.

GNT (Proverbs 18:4)

The CEV, GNT, and other translations omit the “but” and instead find harmony within the verse. The deep fountain and bubbling brook are one and the same. These translations clearly present a positive meaning. Words of wisdom come from a deep place, but they can be expressed in understandable and meaningful ways. When checked against common sense, it sounds right.

The TPT version, even though more of a paraphrase translation, amplifies the meaning further. It adds the idea of wisdom coming from “the one with understanding.”

Words of wisdom are like a fresh, flowing brook—
like deep waters that spring forth from within,
bubbling up inside the one with understanding.

TPT (Proverbs 18:4)

The TLB combines it all together into one concise thought.

A wise man’s words express deep streams of thought.

TLB (Proverbs 18:4)

A wise person can find ways to express his deep thoughts in ways that others can understand. I summarize verse 4 as a wise man’s words gush from a heart of understanding (see the Pulpit Commentary verse 4). Finally, I conclude that Proverbs 18:4 means that deep words come up from within a person of understanding ready to be applied to life. The deep represents a person’s experiences; the brook represents applicability to life in the moment.

From here we might go on to ask, how does a person find wisdom and obtain understanding? How do you know you have understanding? What are the fruits of understanding something? Wisdom is essentially recognizing that God has all the answers. Sometimes people gain it directly from the Holy Spirit and sometimes it comes through personal experience and reflection (lessons learned).

Learn more about wisdom.
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Last Updated 2023/09/03