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Identity

Personality Reveals The Mystery Of Identity

Personality Reveals The Mystery Of Identity

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Personality provides hints and clues into identity. God knows everything, so He knows us completely. But for us, life is an indefinite discovery process to understand the depths of who we are as well as who God is.

A person’s identity is internal. As you get to know someone, you see the outward expression of her identity. Interacting with others reveals personality over time.

People are living beings, so they are continuously changing. Thus, you can never exhaustively know someone. However, this doesn’t mean that a person can become anything she wants to be. Even though she is growing, there is direction to the growth; there is a definite destination.

As you learn who you are, you can be confident in what you find, with some exceptions like maturity and mood.

Personality is Different than Maturity

Each person is diverse and complicated but also knowable. People will respond differently to different stimuli. So while every day can be different, over time, patterns will emerge. The younger people are, the more they are in an experimental phase of life. Just because you observe someone acting outgoing one day, doesn’t mean that is normal for her. Maybe for the next nine days, she will be more withdrawn. It is the long-term pattern that matters.

If you flip a penny one time and it lands on tails, you would be wrong to conclude that the penny is biased to land on tails. You must flip it a significantly large number of times to determine its character (its bias or outcome that is consistently predictable).

Likewise, it is essential to make observations over a significantly large time when determining a person’s character. Personality can change over time, but that is only because of the maturation process, not because personality is fluid. New experiences can encourage unexpressed parts of personality to emerge, but as with coin flipping, more experiences will result in a person’s awareness of her personality becoming more certain, not less certain.

Personality is Different than Mood

If you are sad one day, that doesn’t define your personality. Mood is highly correlated to circumstances, as it should be. Emotions indicate what is going on inside, but this is strictly based on what circumstances are prevailing.

There is no such thing as an “anxious personality.” God didn’t design anyone to be fearful. God wants everyone to experience peace. Some people might be more pessimistic or cautious, but that is different than fear.

Some people might be more pensive (contemplative) but that’s different than depressed. Words like anxiety or depression indicate that something is broken. We know that in heaven, nothing will be broken. So, despair or horror is only possible when God is absent. Hopelessness is negative. But sadness can exist in the context of hope. If your favorite person dies, and you know she has a relationship with God, you can know you will see her again someday.

Anything that is based on sin, the curse, or evil is not a part of personality. It is temporary. Don’t consider your personality to be associated with circumstances. Negative circumstances will eventually improve (if only in the next life for believers – see Romans 8). But all the good things about who you are is constant.

Personality Grows Out of Identity

Identity is like a seed that is planted. Personality is like the root system, stem, branches, flowers, or fruit that grows from the seed. The seed is planted and it grows into what God programmed into the seed. The seed cannot self-determine to grow in ways it was not designed.

Likewise, God plants us and we grow into exactly who He intends. It is our limited experiences of life that make life interesting. God may know everything, but we don’t. I suspect that God delights in relating to creation because He is love. He can love us and lead us into truth. Meanwhile, we can enjoy the journey of discovering who He made us to be.

Learn more about identity.
Image by Huynh Jason from Pixabay
Inspiration for this article came, in part, from Why You Are More Than Your Personality

Election To Eternal Life Is Unconditional

Election To Eternal Life Is Unconditional

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Who ultimately has the power to decide what happens in life? God is the one in control. Of everything.

The Bible teaches that a person’s election into salvation is unconditional. Unconditional means that there is no merit or mechanism within a person that tips God’s favor his or her way. People can’t earn their way to heaven. People can’t enter heaven unless God enables and allows them to enter. God’s vote in the election process is what counts.

For no one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them to me, and at the last day I will raise them up.

John 6:44 NLT

God Initiates and Completes the Election Process

God initiates salvation before anyone is born. God knows the people He creates. He calls and predestines them, knowing all the days of their lives (Psalm 139:16). In Romans 8:28-30 Paul lays out an unbreakable chain of events:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

Romans 8:28-30 NLT

The golden chain of salvation is the five unbreakable links between foreknow, predestine, call, justify, and glorify. Foreknowing always leads to predestination. Predestination always leads to calling. Calling always leads to justification. Justification always leads to glorification. Once God starts the process, He will complete it by glorifying the person in heaven.

God Foreknows the People He Chooses for Election

Foreknowledge is different than foreknowing. Foreknowledge is about factual information. Foreknowing is the intimate knowing of a person. This means that God is capable of much more than simply knowing who will choose Him in the future. Foreknowledge alone reduces election to merely a confirmation of a person’s choice. The more personal foreknowing means the following are true:

  • God intimately knows the people He elects.
  • God creates people for different purposes (some for noble and some for ignoble as in Romans 9:14-16).
  • God is in control of the entire creative process. He knows what He is doing when He creates each person.
  • God has the first and final decision as to who will be elected to eternal life.

All of this means that the state of a person at creation is not random. It’s not like God created 10 billion people with random characteristics, then looked into the future to see which ones would choose Him, and then predestined those particular ones. No. Instead, He intentionally loves the person and predestines him or her at the time of creation, knowing they will be in heaven.

This makes sense given that God is in control of everything. Shouldn’t the God of the universe have the final say in who will be with Him for eternity? God favors people and then creates them. Everyone God wants to be in heaven will be there. No one that God doesn’t want to be there will be there.

This might sound unfair, but how it sounds doesn’t make any difference because God is creator and is in control (He is sovereign). Election, therefore, is not a conditional process that puts the power of choosing within the person. Election is unconditional because the power to choose is God’s. No one deserves to be elected to heaven. It is only God’s mercy and love that elects some but not others.

If life is predetermined, how is it worth living? God knows everything but we don’t. We don’t know what is going to happen. We don’t know the particular people God will call. God invites us to participate in sharing His Good News. God’s ways, His capacity to reason, are higher than ours. He can manage knowing everything while relating to us who know very little. Yes, He has the advantage.

It’s because of our sinful nature that we want to rebel against an ultimate authority that can decide the fate of all living creatures (see Genesis 3 and Ecclesiastes 6:10 NLT version). Left to ourselves, we’d like to be in control of our destiny (not a good thing). But as Christians, we know that God being in control is not only reality, it is far superior. We can let God be God. We can be thankful He loves and cares for us.

Learn more about election in 40 Questions About Salvation
Learn more about the golden chain of salvation
Learn more about resting in God’s favor
Image by G.C. from Pixabay

Your Struggle Is Related To Childhood

Your Struggle Is Related to Childhood

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Struggles come in all shapes and sizes. You can struggle physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. Physical struggles are related to health and endurance. Mental struggles are about grasping concepts and reality. Emotional struggles are a focus on the intensity of pain caused by the negatives of life (loss resulting from sin). Spiritual struggles involve the ability to discern the truth from falsehood.

All struggles are likely related to childhood events because people are most vulnerable then. Even though we struggle, spiritual rebirth allows believers to love God will all aspects of their being.

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.”

Matthew 22:37-38 ESV

Optical Illusions Are a Perceptional Struggle

Optical illusions are fun. They work because of assumptions about reality. To some degree, you will perceive what you want to perceive. Sometimes that aligns with reality and sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, after you see past the illusion, it’s difficult to be tricked again.

Your consciousness is similar to an optical illusion. You have meaningful events buried beneath the surface of awareness. The significant events are rich with life lessons and strong feelings. As you intentionally uncover the significance of your history, it becomes harder to ignore unless you are determined to avoid it.

Becoming in touch with your uncomfortable memories promotes healing. This can seem counter-intuitive until you realize that to not be in touch with your history is to be in denial. What is distressing tends to stay buried unless you are determined to be healthy.

Jesus Calls Those Who Struggle

As you probably know, there is a tension between wanting everything just to be okay and admitting everything isn’t okay.

Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”

Luke 5:31-32 NLT

Many of your childhood struggles continue to play out in your everyday interactions. You just don’t realize it unless you look intentionally. Without some prompting, it’s easy to leave pain buried. You might think you are better off leaving sleeping giants undisturbed.

A decade or two isn’t enough time to fully resolve life’s challenges. Chances are, whatever you struggled with as a child, you still struggle with today. Ideally, you struggle with it to a lesser degree. But there’s no shame in noticing you continue to struggle. It is possible to both make significant progress and realize you are essentially the same person you were as a child.

Feelings Reveal The Real Struggle

Everyone has to overcome their fear of inadequacy if they want to grow. Don’t be surprised and discouraged when you experience some of the same feelings you had during your younger years. Instead, see this as a positive sign that you are strong enough to look clearly at how you are responding to life.

How you respond reveals a lot about yourself that you need to know if you want to continue healing. This works for both positive and negative emotions.

Positive emotions can tell you what you’ll naturally be drawn to. They can get you into a trap just as easily as negative ones if you’re not vigilant. For example, people who notice they feel great when they win might be tempted to gamble for a chance to win big.

Negative emotions tell you what you want to avoid. They become a trap when they take center stage. For example, people who fear competition might become so consumed with failure, that they avoid trying.

Spend time noticing what makes you exceptionally happy, sad, angry, or anxious. Then make connections with your earlier experiences. What themes do you see? Your consistency over time likely defines your personality.

Learn more about exploring childhood to be healthy.
The picture that goes with today’s post contains an optical illusion. I found it on the internet. Apparently, it was popular around 2014.

Earnest Rest Reveals God's Favor

Earnest Rest Reveals God’s Favor

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Rest makes it possible to perform at your highest level. You probably do your best work when you are relaxed and “in the zone.” Have you experienced this kind of rest? Would you like to learn to enter into the rest God intends for you?

Find Rest By Finding Your Sweet Spot

God made you with an identity which is the place of optimal functioning. This sweet spot is where the least amount of effort still produces the maximum output. Hitting your sweet spot is an honorable goal. God intends for you to feel the pleasure of acting from the center of who you are. If you want to know God’s favor, first you must be free to be yourself.

Sometimes the sweet spot is elusive because of sin and the curse. They cloud and distort who you are. Sometimes you have to do what you don’t particularly want to do. Overcoming the curse requires hard work. The goal isn’t to eliminate your effort, but instead to optimize your effort. You put in your effort while relying on God to carry what you were never meant to carry.

Find Rest By Compartmentalizing Obligation

Do you know what it feels like to pursue what you want instead of what you must (because of obligation or responsibility)? God created the sabbath so you can experience unpressured living at least one day out of seven. The lift you gain from one day of rest can carry into the other six days.

Who are you when you’re under obligation? How do you fill your day to meet the demands of life? Don’t miss this: You’re probably not optimally in touch with your true identity while under obligation. That’s because obligation implies some amount of stress and that changes everything.

Who are you when you’re not under any obligation? Then, how do you live? This is what you can accomplish during productive play. Restful living means entering into a natural high by functioning at the level of God’s highest purposes for you. This is true recreation — an effort that recovers more energy than it spends.

Find Rest By Playing

Fulfilling obligations is necessary. But playing is as important as working. What do you think of when you think of playing? Productive play does not involve low-functioning activities that allow passive living. Your brain can be fully engaged and relaxed during play.

Whatever you do should have a purpose. Some activities can seem like they have no eternal significance, but if they rejuvenate you, they have value. For example, consider watching a movie. What value do you gain from it? Does it uplift or strengthen you? Does it help you to better understand life? Or does it drain you or lead you into sin?

To play is to relax. Some people can’t stop working. Their play is only work in disguise. When you practice relaxing, it will help you when you are under the stress of responsibility. You’ll be able to work more efficiently when you are under stress.

Restful living will be different for each person. What activities bring you more energy as you participate in them? In the movie, Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell says, “When I run, I feel His pleasure.” Even though he’s exerting himself completely he has entered God’s rest. He’s burdened with running, but not burdened with debilitating anxieties.

When God’s power is available genuine play is possible. That’s because He does the heavy lifting. Jesus said:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Have you ever felt God’s pleasure? You enter God’s rest and He is right there with you expressing His excitement for who you are. God is your cheerleader. Allow His cheers to propel you forward.

Learn more about play.
Image by skeeze from Pixabay
Last Updated 2023/10/15

Healthy Oneness

Healthy Oneness

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Confusion about oneness creates a substantial burden for relationships. In God’s economy, when two people become one, their individual distinctiveness is never lost. The point of misunderstanding is with the word become. In this context, become does not mean “replaced by.” Instead, it means “joined.”

If you believe oneness means your identity must diminish, your relationship will struggle to thrive. Instead of having opinions, you’ll only have compliance. Instead of strengthening your relationship, you’ll create weaknesses.

Healthy Oneness: Two Families Become One Family

A helpful question is, two what become one what? God says husband and wife become one flesh. One flesh has at least two meanings. On a literal, physical level, one flesh refers to the joining of two bodies in sexual union. The literal is a picture of the spiritual. Two people working together for mutual benefit. On a figurative, spiritual level, one flesh refers to becoming a unified family. God creates one new family from the parts of two separate families.

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Genesis 2:24 NLT

Both meanings imply coming together in a unified partnership that isn’t meant to be separated (until death). Both are illustrations of the deeper, permanent reality of Christ and the Church. When a person becomes a Christian, the person leaves the family of the lost to join God’s family. The believer is now “one” with Christ, a part of the body of Christ.

Note that two being a unified one is different than two changing into one. A unified one allows closeness while retaining individual definition. A husband and wife don’t lose their God-given identities; they gain experience in physical and spiritual oneness that can’t be experienced any other way.

Healthy Oneness: Two People, One Team

I like to put it this way. A husband and wife are on the same team and should act as one to accomplish their goals. What is a win for one is a win for the other. A loss for one is a loss for the other.

This allows for individual choices. God will judge a man on how good a husband he is. God will judge a woman on how good a wife she is. But God doesn’t make one responsible for the other’s poor choices. God doesn’t directly judge you for how good your marriage is–only indirectly through your performance because it is within your control.

In a tennis match, if one player is significantly more skilled than the other, the game won’t be interesting, but each individual can still be judged on their skill and character while playing.

Being judged individually should not encourage acting only in your best interest. You should act both in your best interest and also in the best interest of your partner. God expects you to give up your demand to have life go the way you want it. God opposes the proud. Insisting on your way at all costs is usually selfish.

Two strong individuals make a strong marriage. One dominant and one weak person will create a less strong marriage than the couple’s average strength. In contrast, the synergy between two strong individuals who have learned how to cooperate will exceed the output of two strong individuals working apart.

Learning how to cooperate as a team takes time and effort. Marital oneness includes physical and spiritual closeness, so it is more than what being on a sports team feels like. At the same time, there is no marriage in heaven, so it has to be less than what being in heaven will be like.

What has your experience with oneness been like? Are you expecting too much or too little from your relationship?

For more on oneness, consider How Two Identities Become One. The image associated with it provides a clear picture of what two as one should look like.

Image #286346030 licensed from Adobe Stock
Last updated 2023/10/01

A Correct Theology Is Life Changing

A Correct Theology Is Life-Changing

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Given that life can often be challenging, a robust theology is one of the easiest ways to save yourself from unnecessary heartache.

Imagine going on a journey and coming to a fork in the road. Should you go left or right? The two paths might appear to go in the same basic direction, but over time they diverge. If you make a wrong choice early on in life, it can take years to backtrack and go the right way.

If you read the Bible the wrong way, you can end up seeing only what you want to see or what you think it says, instead of what it actually says. The Bible is the only source of truth that describes the reality of creation. But, it is also authored by God so that only with the help of His Spirit, can we understand what it says.

Correct Theology Requires Accurate Interpretation

Developing a theology means conducting a review of the Bible’s main teachings about God and life.

The Bible’s words of truth must be interpreted. The challenge with any written word is determining what the original author meant. Words are simply labels for concepts and meanings. What you call something matters very little. But the meaning we feel and understand in our hearts, our heads, or our spirits — that is everything. As you might see, this is why communication can be so prone to misunderstanding. Words can mean totally different ideas to different people.

Each person has a distinct identity (or personality). Each person also has their own unique experiences. The combination of unique experiences and the interpretation of those experiences creates diversity. Diversity can increase the potential for rich experiences, but as it does, it can just as easily increase the potential for gross misunderstanding. When you are trying to communicate with others, pay attention to how your experiences shape your understanding. Be patient with the time it takes to synchronize your inner meanings with someone else’s perspectives.

Correct Theology Leads To Confident Living

A correct theology keeps your mind in sync with your creator. Confident living doesn’t mean perfect living without mistakes or difficulties. But it does mean peaceful living because God is in control. Knowing the truth and walking in it is confident living. God handles the errors. God makes the corrections as needed to keep us on the right path.

The LORD directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the LORD holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:23-24 NLT

How to Develop a Correct Theology

Read the Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to help you interpret. If you go to the source, you will have the best opportunity to understand the truth. However, it’s also possible to be blinded by particularly negative life experiences. These experiences can inject false beliefs and motivations into our lives. They cloud the truth, making it difficult to see clearly.

The Christian journey is not meant to be traveled alone. God gives us other people with various and diverse gifts of the Spirit to help the community of all believers to thrive. I believe it’s important to develop convictions about the major teaching of the Bible in areas like the following:

  • God’s sovereignty and man’s free will. My study of the Bible has led me to conclude that God’s sovereignty has greater significance than man’s free will. God, as creator, can change man so that man’s will is in line with God’s heart. But man, without God’s complete help, cannot overcome sin. Yes, man has free will, but only within the system of life that God has created. It is an illusion to think that man can have complete free will apart from God. God holds creation together by His power (Colossians 1:16-17).
  • Are believers eternally secure in their salvation, or can they lose it (and potentially gain it back again)? See my other posts for my views on why believers have eternal security, even though they must still persevere in their faith.
  • Does a non-believer use faith to believe in God? Or does God initiate regeneration, giving people the faith to believe? See 1 Peter 1:3-5 below which shows that “God caused us to be born again” and it is “by God’s power we are being guarded through faith for a salvation.”

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

1 Peter 1:3-5 ESV

I found 40 Questions About Salvation by Matthew Barrett to be instrumental in explaining the theology of the Bible with regard to salvation. When you study the Bible to develop correct theology, I guarantee it will be life-changing.

Learn more about interpreting the Bible.
Learn more about eternal security.
Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay