• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Christian Concepts

Bringing your Potential to Light

  • Start Here
  • Insights
  • About
  • Subscribe

Identity

Is Love A Choice

Is Love a Choice?

November 17, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

God loves you. But what does this mean? God is love (1 John 4:16). So, God has to love. He can’t not love. Does He love out of obligation? Is His love involuntary?

We know God cares enough to die for us (John 3:16). He paid the price to redeem us. He is patient with us. He did what He had to do to keep us alive (spiritually).

To say love is a choice is to say that it is objective. You and I can show love despite how we feel about another person. If we only loved when we felt like it, our actions would only be motivated by how others treat us. But here I am talking about human love which can be fickle.

God’s agape is different. It always does right. It flows out of who God is. In that sense, it could be described as involuntary.

Love makes it impossible to harm another, so love fulfills all that the law requires.

Romans 13:10 TPT

Much of life is starkly unpredictable, so it’s nice that God doesn’t change His mind about loving us.

Is Love More Than a Choice?

When love is a choice, it’s a rational, steady, and dependable love. But there is more to it than that. Love as only a choice is incomplete. Love includes compassion, affection, and favor. Agape is motivated by feeling. But keep in mind that God’s feelings are pure, undefiled by any sin.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
    a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
    he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

Subjective, irrational love is at the center of agape. God is not cold, loving only out of obligation. He is passionate and unrelenting. God’s favor, from the core of His being, drives Him to save us no matter the cost.

God’s Love is Irrational

God goes “all in” with His love toward us. This makes it an extravagant love. God’s loving favor doesn’t make sense, but that’s what makes it wonderful.

God doesn’t only do the minimum decent thing to do. He doesn’t save us in compassion and then tell us to go on our way. He adopts us into His family (1 John 3:1; Romans 8:14-30).

God’s family is forever. In Isaiah 49, God’s people felt like Yahweh had abandoned them.

Yahweh responds, “But how could a loving mother forget her nursing child and not deeply love the one she bore? Even if a there is a mother who forgets her child, I could never, no never, forget you.

Isaiah 49:15 TPT

God’s affection for you is greater than any imperfect parent.

If you, imperfect as you are, know how to lovingly take care of your children and give them what’s best, how much more ready is your heavenly Father to give wonderful gifts to those who ask him?”

Matthew 7:11 TPT

God has a strong bond of love with you. He withholds nothing good from you. What can you do today to believe, trust, and feel God’s affection for you?

For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son. And since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won’t withhold from us anything else he has to give.

Romans 8:32 TPT

So, God loves you. He values you. He saves you. He rejoices because of you. He makes you a co-heir with Christ.

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-19 NIV

God has many good things in store for you, things too wonderful to fully comprehend today, but things that allow you to experience the fullness of hope as you are filled with God (Ephesians 3:20).

Read more about God’s love.
Image by Alan from Pixabay
Last updated 2023/04/30

Filed Under: Marriage, Core Longings, Identity, Spiritual Formation Tagged With: desire, love

Christ’s Death Is Sufficient For Security Of Salvation

Christ’s Death Is Sufficient For Security Of Salvation

February 4, 2024 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 5 minutes

The security of the people of God is of the first importance to every Christian. There is a life and death difference between the hearts of these two possible Gods:

  1. A God who saves you from sin and promises to keep you with Him for eternity.
  2. A God who saves you provisionally and reserves the right to change His mind and abandon you to hell for eternity.

Which one do you believe is the true heart of the God who is love? Which one can you trust? Which one sounds amazingly God-like and which one sounds like a human father? Confusing the two, Christians might ask with deep concern:

Although I have been born again and passed from death unto life, is my final salvation in heaven certain or are there uncertainties about it?

Is there anything in the nature of the atonement, or the work of regeneration, or the character of God that may justly lead me to believe that, after the blood of Christ has cleansed me, I am permanently saved?

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.

John 5:24 ESV

Security is Yours Because God Does Not Count Your Sin Against You

Some might argue that security is left in the people’s hands instead of in God’s hands. It cannot be denied that we all sin and forget God and do wrong, some more and some less, and if God counts our sins against us, we would fall to be sure, but if God does not impute sin to us, we cannot fall. To “impute” means “to say that someone is responsible for something that has happened, especially something bad.”

While we are responsible for our sins, we are also helpless to save ourselves. This is why we need the Savior Jesus Christ. We fully depend upon Him for our security. This is the essence of being a Christian: not trusting in self-effort in the least but trusting in God in every way.

In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 5:19 ESV

God’s way of saving sinners is by not counting their sin against them.

“I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.”

Hebrews 10:17 ESV

When God says, “never remember” He means He will never bring up the matter again. God will never use your sins against you, but the devil certainly will. So, God has not imputed sin to those who are saved. He clears away their record, resulting in the joy of the believer.

David also spoke of this when he described the happiness of those who are declared righteous without working for it: “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin.”

Romans 4:6-8 NLT

Security is Yours if You Believe Christ’s Death is Your Only Hope

David also taught that if God should count sin against us none of us would be able to stand (Psalm 130:3). How then can anyone be saved?

The blessed man to whom God does not impute sin is the Christian, and if God does not impute sin to the Christian, he cannot “fall from grace.” In other words, the only way to fall from grace is to have your sins counted against you. Therefore, you have security in your salvation because Christ no longer counts your sins against you.

Satisfaction must be rendered for every sin, and certainly, our obedience cannot satisfy a broken law. It requires death, and Christ’s death hushes the claims of law. Now, if all our sins were borne and satisfied by Jesus, the claims of law fully met by him in its very jots and tittles, then the ground of our hope is in what Jesus has done, and nothing else. Our deeds may be mixed with sin, and we often go astray, but these shall not overthrow us because the death of Christ is our only hope. This is the only principle upon which sinners can hope to be saved.

Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.

Hebrews 9:22 ESV

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

1 John 1:7 ESV

So there never was nor ever will be a single sin forgiven on earth without that forgiveness being procured by the blood of Christ. And, you have been cleansed from all sin (including past, present, and future sin).

From what has been said, we can conclude:

  • works are no part of the cause of our salvation;
  • God does not impute sin to his people;
  • the only ground of forgiveness is in the blood of Christ.

All these being true, apostasy is impossible. You have a guarantee from Christ, as a genuine believer in His death and resurrection, that you will be with Him in heaven for all eternity. That is true security!

Learn more about eternal security.
This post started as the public domain works of J. H. Oliphant. While substantially the same in many ways, I modernized the language and added my thoughts to provide greater clarity for my readers.
Image by Amrulqays Maarof from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity

Loneliness Is Deceptive

Loneliness Is Deceptive

January 21, 2024 by Matt Pavlik 4 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

What is the opposite of loneliness? It’s not necessarily being around other people or enjoying others’ company. It’s being content with who you are. It’s hard to be lonely when you are at peace with yourself.

Loneliness can be debilitating and result from the self-fulfilling prophecy of believing “I do not belong.” If left unchecked, it can develop into a disease. A disease becomes progressively worse until a cure is found. People who lack sufficient relationships will become emotionally unstable over time. This is how loneliness can become a deception–a belief that one is stuck in a trap and no escape is possible.

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

Mark Twain

While overcoming loneliness does involve other people, it’s not physical proximity to others that irradicates the disease. It’s the genuine, life-giving connection with God, others, and self in healthy balance.

Loneliness is Optional

Loneliness is real, but it’s not intractable. You can be alone and not lonely. Being comfortable with yourself means you have taken the antidote of internalized love. A Christian is never truly alone. Even though God is not usually physically felt, He is always present. You can be not alone but still feel alone if you become numb to others. You can have food but still feel hungry if you have problems digesting.

You can be not alone and not lonely. This is possible in a couple of ways. One, if you have internalized enough love, you have it stored up. You can survive in nutrient-deficient environments because you are healthy. Previous positive interactions keep you going even during a relational drought. Two, you could be with people that feed you relationally. When your genuine emotional needs are being met, it’s impossible to feel alone.

Loneliness is not Caused by People

You can be not alone and lonely. This demonstrates that other people do not automatically make loneliness go away. Healthy relationships makes a difference when they meet emotional needs. They are mean to be a conduit for emotional needs, not an end in themselves. Unhealthy (or unhelpful) relationships create emotional scars (or perpetuate neediness). Sometimes two needy people do more harm than good. Moderately needy people might bicker but still live to fight again another day. Desperately needy people can end up tearing each other apart.

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

Galatians 5:14-15 ESV

If your relationship is a place of doing more harm than good, it doesn’t mean it’s time to give up on the relationship. It just means you temporarily need help from outside the relationship. After you have internalized enough love, your relationship can thrive.

You can be alone and lonely. If you find yourself here, it’s time to put yourself in a (relatively healthy) community. There are no magic cures but neither is there a better alternative. Not everyone will be a good match for your needs but one good relationship is enough to move toward health. Even so, limiting yourself to one person will not be effective. No one person can give you everything you need.

God designed us to ultimately receive what we need from Him. But He frequently uses other people to communicate His love. If you are lonely (whether alone or not alone), your needs are not being met. It’s time to do something different until your needs are being met. Cry out to God. Tell Him what you need. Tell at least one other person what you need.

Learn more about fulfillment.
Image by Anja from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Self-Image

Overcome Resistance To Value Your Identity

Overcome Resistance To Value Your Identity

June 23, 2018 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

To live is to encounter resistance to all that is good. Given the curse the world will naturally degrade as long as evil is in control. Even the sin in us resists God’s goodness. But our suffering does not need to lead us to despair. God tells us to hope not in this world but in Him.

We know that God is ultimately in control even though it appears like evil has control. Bad things happen. God offers His truth to us. Are you winning or losing the struggle between these two?

If I offered you a new, crisp one-hundred dollar bill, would you accept it? What if I first crumpled it up and submerged it into a concoction of oil, mud, and blood? The bill might be tattered and dirty, but it’s still worth the same amount.

The same is true for you. You have an enemy who wants to drag you through the mud. He wants you to forget who you are. Or, better yet, he’d like you to never figure out or accept who you are. You are valuable even though you have some scars and dirt.

Resistance is not Futile

You have a force working against you as you discover who you are. As you learn who God made you to be, the evil one will work to make sure you don’t believe or can’t accept who you are. He’ll try to get you to think you’re worth less (worthless).

Resistance is not futile (see Hebrews 12:4 and James 4:7). You can submit to God and resist the devil’s schemes. Fortunately for you and me, this strategy of the enemy will backfire eventually, like all of his strategies. How? Because whatever the evil one plans for discomfort and destruction, God can turn it around and use it for good. Even so, it’s important to keep expectations adjusted appropriately. The ending is awesome, but we’ll still experience some darkness, discomfort, and even some deterioration along the way.

Understanding the truth is difficult when life isn’t working out in your favor. In the end, though, the enemy can only redecorate your life. He can’t destroy it. What the enemy can touch is superficial.

Joseph is a great example of patience during suffering. His brothers betrayed him, and he still felt compassion for them at the end of his life. He saw his life events, the good and the bad, with a positive view of God.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

Genesis 50:20 ESV

Growing Stronger Requires Befriending Resistance

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

1 Peter 4:12-13 ESV

If you want to grow stronger, you must actively face some resistance. All else equal, in light gravity, you lose muscle and bone strength. In heavy gravity, you can gain strength if you resist.

You can’t live without hope but equally true is: you can’t live without exercising your body and mind. When who you are is under attack, you must resist what is false. During the process of refuting what isn’t true, you’ll learn what is true about you.

Therefore, whenever you’re feeling discouraged by life, remind yourself, “I have value no matter what I look like or feel like on the outside. This body I have today is temporary. My spirit is eternal. God will make me a new body in the next life.” And, bonus! God has already started the cleanup process, so you can experience some comfort in this life.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV

Read through or listen to Mandisa’s songs, Stronger and Overcomer.
Learn more about overcoming resistance.
Image found on Pickpik.
Last updated 2024/01/14

Filed Under: Identity, Boundaries, Self-Image Tagged With: comfort, self-worth, suffering, value

Forever A Child Of God

Forever A Child Of God

January 7, 2024 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

You are a child no matter how old you are. How is this possible? It’s not because you have parents. It’s because you are a child of God if you are a born-again believer. As Creator, God is the adult. As creatures, we are His children. Adults and children have different roles and responsibilities.

A Child of God is Forever Young

God is eternal. He lives outside of time. Relative to God’s “age” (essentially infinite) the oldest person alive is still like a child. This is true both in terms of physical age, but also in terms of knowledge and understanding.

What image comes to mind when you picture youth?

  • Someone who is growing quickly.
  • Someone who is learning constantly.
  • Someone who is expending energy.
  • Someone who is failing frequently.
  • Someone who prioritizes growth before productivity.

How much does your life look youthful? Young people usually do not concern themselves with being responsible for others. This can be good and bad. It’s good to invest in spiritual growth. But spiritual growth and hard work do not have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe we should prioritize growth like Mary but also contribute like Martha.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me! “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42 NIV

A Child of God is Forever Dependent

As Creator, God is the source of everything good. As creatures, we need Him. The difference between human children and adults is a good metaphor for the difference between us and God.

What image comes to mind when you picture adults?

  • Someone independent who accepts responsibility for self and potentially others.
  • Someone who can invest in the growth of others.
  • Someone who makes fewer mistakes because of lessons learned.
  • Someone who is stable and content at least some of the time.
  • Someone who balances growth and productivity.

Even with all of these benefits of being an adult, every Christian is still a child of God. In relation to God, Christians will be a blend of youth and adult. Everyone will always have more they can learn or experience. Everyone is permanently dependent upon God. Even well into eternity, we will only exist because God exists. But because we exist in the image of God, we will also be productive creators.

A Child of God is Forever Secure

God doesn’t need us but we will always need Him. An evil person would exploit this power differential for his gain. Because God lacks nothing, He has no reason to manipulate others in an attempt to extract resources from them. Instead, God is love, so His motive is love. He loves us enough that He died for us. He didn’t give up on us. He cares. He won’t give up on us.

When God won’t give up on us, that’s called security. God will discipline us to the very end to ensure we are better at being like Him.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Phillipians 1:6 NLT

Let God be God: responsible, parent, all-powerful, sustaining, love. This allows you to be you: dependent, seeking, learning, secure, child of God.

Learn more about security in God.
Image by Kris from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity

Overcome When You Feel Like Giving Up

Overcome When You Feel Like Giving Up

September 7, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

Life has a way of wearing you down so much that you stop trusting God. What are some reasons you feel like giving up? Do they include any of the following?

  • Have you experienced too many failures or rejections?
  • Do you feel worth less than others?
  • Do you feel not needed or not wanted?
  • Do you feel tired, lost, or confused?
  • Does your existence seem pointless?

You might not think of yourself as depressed, but if you answered yes to any of those questions, then you are experiencing some form of discouragement. When your burden becomes too great, you’ll naturally consider giving up. Feeling like you want to give up should throw a red flag for you.

Feeling Like Giving Up Comes From a Desire to be Self-Sufficient

Unfortunately, you will encounter discouraging people and circumstances. Sometimes you can make better choices to prevent bad things from happening. Other times, there isn’t anything you could have done differently. Either way, when you continue to suffer long after a difficult experience, there’s a reason.

What keeps you weighed down and prevents you from moving forward? Do any of these sound like you?

  • You’re trying to do it all yourself.
  • You believe God doesn’t care or He is somehow against you.
  • You think being humble means you should have low self-worth.
  • You think you’ve committed the unpardonable sin and God is condemning you to hell.
  • You stopped trusting God because of a tragedy.

God says there is a different way than giving up.

Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me.

Matthew 11:28-29 TPT

Feeling Like Giving Up Comes From a Faulty Foundation

It’s possible to have God in your life but still feel like giving up. Unfortunately, you can become committed to a life strategy that doesn’t work. If so, it’s either based on a lie or it’s not the right approach for you. A faulty strategy is based on lies.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Matthew 7:24-27 ESV

Rebuild Your Foundation When You Feel Like Giving Up

What is your life based on? Do you know why you are doing what you’re doing? Do you have at least one primary, life-giving motivation? If you don’t, you’ll find no gas in your tank to draw on when the going gets tough. A life founded on the rock looks like the following:

  • You have a clear purpose and act on it consistently.
  • You ask God to help you advance His kingdom.
  • You ask God to purify your motives.
  • You trust God to multiply your efforts.
  • You surrender the outcome to God.

You can overcome when you feel like giving up when you understand God is responsible for the results (the fruit). God causes all things to grow. You only need to be faithful to the resources God has given you. Only God has the power to make good things happen, but your contribution is important.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

1 Corinthians 3:6-9 NIV

It’s natural (in our sin) to want to be able to control the outcomes in life, but only God is in control. Instead of giving up on God, give up your desire to be self-sufficient. If you can see yourself as partnering with God, then you’ll be more willing to let God help you align your desires to His desires.

Don’t give up. Don’t lose sight of who God is and who He made you to be. God loves you and has a plan for your life. You can find your purpose, live your purpose, and enjoy your life.

Learn more about why you should never give up.
Photo From: https://www.si.edu/object/signal-flag-pole:nmaahc_2017.111.19
Last Updated 2023/12/24

Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Identity, Self-Image Tagged With: purpose, self-worth

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • Page 5
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 27
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Trust God When You Struggle To Understand Yourself
  • Only God Has Free Will
  • 9 Experiences That Drain Hope
  • Adjust Perspective For Peace And Joy
  • Marital Unity Leaves A Rich Legacy

Recent Comments

  • Pain Is Your Guide - Finding Jesus In The Ache - Christian Concepts on Gratitude For God’s Care
  • Trust God When You Struggle To Understand Yourself - Christian Concepts on 9 Experiences That Drain Hope
  • For A Better Relationship, Breathe - Christian Concepts on Loneliness Is Deceptive
  • 3 Stages For Improving Marriage Today - Christian Concepts on Healthy Oneness
  • Steps to live with eternal purpose on Living With Eternal Purpose: No Guts No Glory

Topics

  • Abuse and Neglect
  • Betrayal
  • Boundaries
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Core Longings
  • Counseling
  • Dating to Find a Mate
  • Emotional Honesty
  • Eternal Security
  • God's Kingdom
  • Healing
  • Identity
  • Marriage
  • Self-Care
  • Self-Image
  • Spiritual Formation

Archives

  • June 2025
  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • September 2017
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • June 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • February 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009

Footer

Follow

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

© 2003–2025 · New Reflections Counseling, Inc. · Christian Concepts Publishing · Privacy Policy