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An Eternal Life Is Never A Fragile Life

An Eternal Life Is Never A Fragile Life

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Reading time: 3 minutes

What exactly is eternal life? If you’re thinking about your former life, before you knew Christ, you probably have the wrong idea. Even your current life as a believer, can’t compare because it has pain and suffering mixed into it.

Eternal life is far superior in both its quality and its quantity. Your former life and your present life can’t be the real-life Jesus talks about as He prays to the Father.

And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

John 17:3

This makes sense, doesn’t it? Only a few chapters earlier Jesus proclaimed He is life.

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

John 14:6

Eternal life encompasses more than simply the quality of being unending in duration.

Eternal Life is Strong

Eternal life could also be called “strong life.” It’s not weak, frail, or sickly. When you receive eternal life it preserves you without fail. Jesus is faithful to finish the work He started in you and He lives forever, never ceasing to intercede on your behalf (Philippians 1:6, Hebrews 7:24-25).

Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault.

Jude 1:24 NLT

If you know Jesus, you abide with Him and are connected to Him forever. God’s strength keeps you safe.

A person cannot become strong without first becoming connected. If a person stays separated from Christ, the person remains weak and can’t accomplish anything worthwhile (2 Corinthians 12:10, John 15:5).

Eternal Life is Abundant

If you know Jesus, you have abundant life, not insufficient life. To know Jesus is to have eternal life: Life to the fullest. Eternal life is the fullest sense of life. You can live the high life. The worldly definition of high life is an extravagant or luxurious style of living. The life Jesus offers is something else entirely.

Jesus is inviting you into the spiritual high life. To possess the spiritual high life is to have spiritual eyes which enable you to see and know God’s spiritual realities. You can grow in knowing God’s goodness, experiencing the full height, depth, and breadth of best God has to offer.

Eternal Life is Nourishing

If you know Jesus, you have nourishing life, not junk-food life. You can begin to experience this spiritual nourishment today, but you can’t fully experience it until your time on earth has passed. In this context, we can say that knowing Jesus is having an ongoing relationship with Him. You don’t have to know Him completely, yet, to possess eternal life.

To begin receiving spiritual food, you only need access to God through the way: Jesus Christ. The entering into God’s eternal care is life itself.

When something is eternal, it transcends time. Therefore, you can describe the new life you possess now in past, present, and future terms. You have already secured it; You are in the process of receiving more of it; And, you will receive it totally when you leave your current physical body.

Eternal Life is Forever

If you know Jesus you have eternal life, not temporary life. Something that is temporary is brief, limited, makeshift, perishable, substitutionary, transient. It’s meant to be replaced. If anything in the Bible is meant to be temporary, it’s the old covenant (Hebrews 8:1-13). Something that is eternal is abiding, boundless, constant, enduring, everlasting. It never needs to be replaced. It never breaks down. It never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8-12).

What kind of life do you want? What kind of life do you have?

Read more about a believer’s assurance of eternal life.
Read more about the quality of eternal life.
Photo by Cade Prior from Pexels

Overcome Resistance To Complete Your Training

Overcome Resistance To Complete Your Training

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Reading time: 3 minutes

In order to complete a transformative journey, you first need to overcome your resistance to asking for help. This post describes step 1 of 4 of the transformative journey.

Often, life must become unmanageable or unbearable in some way before a person will be willing to seek help. There is a saying, “Only when the pain of remaining the same is worse than the pain of changing, will someone make the effort to change.”

You can let your pain build until it reaches such a critical level that you suffer a catastrophic breakdown. If you want to avoid this and move forward in your life, don’t make the following three mistakes.

Mistake #1: Fail to Overcome Resistance by Ignoring Problems

When a person is in denial they will attempt to cope with their problems so they can remain self-sufficient. Coping attempts to minimize the pain instead of eliminate the pain. Most people think of a problem as a negative event, but a lack of a positive event can also be a problem.

In Star Wars, Luke’s problem was more than the fact that he wasn’t happy as a farmer. He also wasn’t happy because he wasn’t able to pursue using his gifts for an even greater good. Helping his aunt and uncle was good, but helping to destroy the death star was far better.

There is a path before each person that seems right,
    but it ends in death.

Proverbs 14:12 NLT

Are you on a path that seems good, but it is really leading you nowhere?

Mistake #2: Fail to Overcome Resistance by Clinging to Selfish Goals

When a person believes lies (such as “I’m worthless”), they lack the insight to look beyond their own circumstances. A person who clings to their selfish goals will fail to overcome problems and will experience painful loss.

Luke wants to fight the empire but he can’t see past his obligation to help his uncle. He does what seems right until fate brings serious trouble to his doorstep.

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
    The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.

Proverbs 22:3 NLT

Are you pressing ahead just because you want to or because it seems to be the safest route, despite some sense of looming consequences?

Mistake #3: Fail to Overcome Resistance by Refusing Help

The foolish person will refuse help even while they are suffering. Fear can stop many a dream from becoming reality.

Luke knows the rebels need help defeating the empire. Obi-Wan asks Luke to join him and offers to train him. Luke isn’t ready yet to leave home. He uses the excuse that he can’t get involved because he has work to do.

Fools think they know what is best,
    but a sensible person listens to advice.

Proverbs 12:15 CEV

But when he finds that the empire is looking for his droids, he realizes that his aunt and uncle are in danger. Only when he is faced with their death does he have nothing left to prevent him from accepting Obi-Wan’s offer.

This logic might look like I’m saying that a young adult should always put their own ambitions ahead of their parent’s counsel. There might be more times that it is prudent to follow your parents. But in this case, the parents are the ones holding their child back from what is better–meaning what is better for God’s kingdom.

If you love your father or mother or even your sons and daughters more than me, you are not fit to be my disciples.

Matthew 10:37 CEV

So then, consider if there is anything you are refusing to do that would benefit God’s kingdom more than what you are already doing. What help do you need to overcome your resistance and make it happen? Who has already been offering their help? Ask God for wisdom and understanding so you can see your best path forward without serious consequences, if possible.

Photo by form PxHere

Complete Your Training To Resist Evil

Complete Your Training To Resist Evil

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Reading time: 5 minutes

In Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Yoda challenges Luke Skywalker, “you must complete the training.” Yoda knew that Luke wasn’t ready yet to face his ultimate trial in a fight against Darth Vader.

How are you doing in your battle against the evil spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12)? To reach a place of confidence in overcoming life problems, you must complete your training.

God’s school for persevering and winning against evil is called “life.” To complete the transformative journey, you must pass through four steps.

Step 1 Training: Overcome Resistance

Luke works for his Aunt and Uncle but isn’t happy as a farmer. He feels duty-bound to help them so he refuses to leave them. His hope to join the academy remains an unfulfilled dream. He is out of place. He isn’t pursuing his calling.

What is blocking you from attaining your dreams? In what ways are you resisting God’s call to adventure in your life? Step one’s purpose is to increase your level of frustration with your current life so much that you are willing to risk making a change. It is characterized by:

  • Pride that covers the pain of your life.
  • Believing lies such as “what others want for me is more important than what I want or what God wants for me.”
  • Resisting God’s call to spiritual growth.
  • Attempting to cope to remain self-sufficient.

Too much pride will destroy you.

Proverbs 16:18 CEV

By the time you finish step one, you are ready to seek the help of a counselor.

Step 2 Training: Commit To Recovery

Luke meets his mentor, Obi-Wan, and agrees to go with him to Alderaan. He learns he has other allies (Han, Chewbacca, Princess Leia) as well as enemies (Darth Vader and the empire). But he and his friends face a huge setback when Alderaan is destroyed.

What setbacks have brought further discouragement into your life, just when you decided to get help? Instead of turning back to your old ways, commit to your emotional recovery. Step two’s purpose is to solidify your reason why you want to pursue change. It is characterized by:

  • Being humbled enough to be willing to seek help.
  • Being willing to consider how the truth applies to your life.
  • Accepting God as good–that He has a plan worth following.
  • Acknowledging your problems and dysfunctional behaviors.

Too much pride can put you to shame.
It’s wiser to be humble.

Proverbs 11:2 CEV

By the time you finish step two, you have uncovered so much pain that you have no choice but to rely on God and other allies.

Step 3 Training: Learn To Trust

Luke fights his way out of the death star with Princess Leia but loses Obi-Wan. He struggles for his freedom only to experience greater suffering with the loss of his mentor.

I see Obi-Wan’s sacrifice and pronouncement that he will become even more powerful as similar to Christ being crucified and becoming more powerful as someone who has defeated death.

What painful memories continue to hold you back from pursuing your dreams? Instead of running from challenges, face them and be transformed by them. Find out what is most important to you. Step three’s purpose is to shift your focus onto how powerful God is and how positive your life is. It is characterized by:

  • Being vulnerable so you can receive the emotional healing you need.
  • Confronting the lies you believe with the truth so can freely move forward in life.
  • Accepting suffering as unavoidable at times and even beneficial.
  • Realizing that God is worthy of your trust.

The Lord’s people may suffer a lot,
but he will always bring them safely through.

Psalm 34:19 CEV

Even David went through years of training while defending his sheep from bears and other beasts (1 Samuel 17:34-37). By the time you finish step three, your training has prepared you to face the Goliath-sized problems.

Step 4 Training: Walk By Faith

Luke joins the rebels, trusts his mentor’s guidance, and destroys the death star. He is no longer self-sufficient. He is trusting in a power greater than himself. He becomes a hero that can inspire others.

What Goliath-sized problem is looming large over your life? How has God proven Himself faithful to you? Look for the opportunities to prove your training has accomplished its purpose. Step four’s purpose is to test your faith as you fulfill your God-planned destiny. It is characterized by:

  • Confidence in your ability to face problems with God’s help.
  • Embracing the truth to overcome doubts and other spiritual attacks.
  • Resisting evil by not giving it any room to thrive.
  • Faithful dependence on God for strength.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear.

Psalm 46:1-2 NIV

By the time you finish step four, your journey is complete. You are ready to help others if they want help with their struggles. You can also identify new problems and start the journey again for yourself. Or, maybe you are like Luke and didn’t finish your training the first time around. That’s okay. With God, it’s never too late to start on a journey of transformation. Future posts will cover each of the four steps in greater detail.

Sometimes a mentor can be a person like a counselor. But a mentor can also be a process like the ones in any of my books. Try either of those if you feel unhappy with where you are in life and want some help to complete your training so you can overcome the big problem in your life.

Learn more about freedom as you experience positive change.
Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay

7 Principles To Grow Your Marriage

7 Principles To Grow Your Marriage

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Marriage is both the most challenging relationship and the most rewarding relationship. While working on your marriage, allow these principles to guide you.

1 – Two Healthy Individuals Make A Healthy Marriage

God says two people will become one flesh—meaning husband and wife function together, inseparably, like one body. You are on the same team which will grow stronger as each individual grows stronger. Your loyalty to each other should be greater than all other relationships. God gives each sex its own role to contribute to the good of the team. Being one flesh doesn’t mean you lose your individuality. The more you become the person God made you to be, the better off your marriage will be.

Read Genesis 2:15-25 and Mark 10:1-9.

2 – Change The Marriage By Changing Yourself

When you focus on yourself, which you can control with God’s help, you help your marriage in the most efficient way. Life is primarily a place for you to explore how you can grow and secondarily a place where you can expect God to address your partner’s flaws. Focus on your own growth twice as much as your partner’s growth. Increase your awareness of what is happening with you. Ask God for what you need rather than demanding your partner be a certain way.

Read Matthew 7:1-12.

3 – Your Partner Does Not Owe You Anything

Each of us is on our own journey to become more loving, which is clearly God’s goal for every believer. Do not judge your partner (do not condemn); instead use discernment to determine your response. You are accountable to God for your behavior regardless of your partner’s behavior. Making requests is legitimate because marriage is a cooperative effort, but coercing your partner into your desired behaviors won’t work in the long run. If you take advantage of your partner, you are also hurting yourself. If you are depleted, first look to God, the source of everything good.

Read Romans 14:12-13 and Galatians 6:1-4.

4 – Your Relationship With God Outlasts Your Marriage

Marriage ends upon death and it doesn’t exist in heaven. A covenant is unconditional. Your vows and commitment to your partner are first made to God—to serve His plans and grow His kingdom.

Read Matthew 22:30.

5 – Boundaries Are Protective Not Harmful

Relationships thrive on freedom and self-control. Decide for yourself but let your partner decide for himself or herself. You can enforce a boundary for yourself (choose how you want to respond) but boundaries are not placed on others (don’t imagine you can control your partner’s behavior).

Read Galatians 5:1, 5:13-25, and 6:5.

6 – Your Partner Can Manipulate You Only If You Allow It

If your partner attempts to persuade you, your response is your responsibility. Speak for yourself only. If you don’t want to go along with your partner’s request (or aggressive demand), speak up to declare your disagreement. A healthy individual maintains their integrity at all times. Don’t compromise who God made you to be. This is not a license for selfishness.

Read Galatians 5:13-25 (again).

7 – Only God Knows Everything

Learn about your partner but don’t presume to know your partner’s thoughts, feelings, or motives. If you believe you are discerning a particular idea, mood, or attitude, ask for clarification tentatively. Instead of stating, “You are…” ask, “Are you…?” or state “I am…” Overcommunicate with each other to reduce the chances of misunderstanding.

Read 1 John 3:20 and Hebrews 4:13.

These 7 principles aren’t the only ones I use in counseling, but they are a good place to start if you are seeking help for your marriage. As you can hopefully see by now they carry the theme that you should focus on what you can control and leave the rest up to God. You can’t ever go wrong by pursuing a better marriage that way.

Read more about freedom in marriage.
Read more about overcommunicating.
Picture by Matt Pavlik from Marriage From Roots To Fruits.
If you want help working on these principles in your marriage, contact Matt Pavlik.

Box Your Concerns And Give Them To God

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Reading time: 3 minutes

The last few months have been especially stressful because of the various global crises we are all facing. In addition, each of us has our personal struggles. It’s overwhelming.

As Christians, we live between the truth that we will have trouble in this life and the truth that God comforts us during our struggles. Jesus had a lot to say to His disciples in the weeks before His death and resurrection.

A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:32-33 NIV

Jesus knew that even His closest followers would be disturbed by his capture and crucifixion. They lost it and deserted Jesus. But, He prepared them well by explaining everything ahead of time. More importantly, He sent the Great Comforter in His place.

What can you do when you feel stressed beyond your limits? If you don’t manage your feelings well, you’ll end up reaping destruction. If stress isn’t addressed in a healthy way, the stress stays on you and in you. Then your body can end up bearing the cost of the stress. Or, you can hurt others out of your anger.

Any extreme response to difficulty doesn’t help much and usually makes the situation worse. The extremes I’m talking about are either:

  1. Denial of the problem which requires complete isolation from the problem. This is over-compartmentalized.
  2. Over-reaction to the problem which inevitably involves retaliation instead of reconciliation. This is under-compartmentalized.

Both options miss the best approach which is to face the problem and embrace the problem at the right time and under the right circumstances. When people reconcile they can’t get everything they want. Most people would choose to erase the harm if that were possible. Since it isn’t, there has to be a way to work through it. The working through it involves both:

  1. Letting go of what has already happened. It can’t be changed. What’s done is done. This usually involves a lot of sadness.
  2. Taking steps forward to make needed changes that are reasonable for all involved. This might involve some anger. But it needs to be anger that motivates positive change.

Are you feeling overwhelmed? When I’m counseling others, I like to assign exercises that help people find the most direct way to grow emotionally and spiritually. Here is an exercise to try:

  1. Think of a concern you have.
  2. Now imagine a box big enough to hold it. Put your concern in the box. Close it up and label it with a description.
  3. Think about what remains. If you’re still concerned about something, go to step 1. If you sense everything is boxed up, move to step 4.
  4. Thank God you made it to step 4. Seriously! If you made it this far, then for the moment your life has some sanity.
  5. Ask yourself what is left. If your concerns are put aside, there’s probably some good things left. Thank God for the good things.
  6. Ask God to take the boxes for safe keeping. He might destroy some boxes. Others He will hand back to you at the right time so you can work through your healing. Then, at other times, God will give you a box of blessings.
  7. Acknowledge that God is in control. Approach the boxes of concern at a pace you can handle.

Hopefully, when you finished boxing up your concerns, you found the truth remaining. You are significant and loved.

How does it feel to have your concerns separated from the truth of who you are? Problems put into perspective aren’t as big as we imagine them to be. That’s because God is bigger than any problem you can imagine. God doesn’t fit in any box, but there’s always a box big enough for your concern.

Photo from: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/597668

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Who Are You Really?

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Reading time: 3 minutes

What do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt?

Do you know who you are? Can you know who you are? If so, can you tell me with absolute certainly?

Who you think you are may not be who you really are.

Question Reality

Do you accept reality as you see it? Are people basically good? Has anyone ever called you naïve?

Are you ever a little bit curious about another’s motive? If you’ve been betrayed, you might have become doubtful or suspicious. Could others be plotting your demise?  

Too much questioning encourages fear. Paranoia is a sickness, but some suspicion might help you sniff out reality.

Think about your two closest neighbors or friends. Could one of them be an alien from another planet? Maybe some people you know are spies from another country, or wolves in sheep’s clothing.

It’s easy for me to question reality. I wonder about some people more than others, and you should too.

Am I being silly or am I being serious? Either way, you’ll never know before it’s too late. Maybe I’m an alien with a plan to take over the world.

Protect Reality

Question what you know to be true to strengthen your convictions. You will have less fear. You will have more assurance and peace.

The people of this world are concerned with protecting their territories:

How can we protect earth from an alien invasion or asteroid collision?

Who should we allow in our country?

Can you trust your neighbor?

Efforts to protect your home are necessarily. But more important than guarding your physical borders is discovering who you really are.

Discover Reality

I’m convinced there is a truer reality beyond what you can see. This truer reality is greater than you can imagine. You can’t see it completely, but it is still knowable. To see it you must search for it with spiritual eyes — the ones connected to your brain AND to your heart.

In C.S. Lewis’s The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, four children discover a magic wardrobe that contains a portal into another reality. The adults in their lives see only a plain wardrobe. But those four children, with their childlike innocence, see and enter into the truer reality. They begin an all-immersive adventure, and you can too.

Know Reality

If you believe in God, there are many surprising truths about God’s reality that apply directly to you. Are you an alien from another planet or a child of God? Maybe both, right?

You are more than a stranger to this world. But you are not a bizarre, diabolical alien. God says you are an ambassador. You are from “planet” God and one day you will return to Him.

You are more than a spy. Beneath whatever clothing you wear, are wounds, scars, and weaknesses that you want to keep secret from the rest of the world. But, instead of staying hidden, you seek to be brave enough to come forward as a witness and reveal your true identity.

You might fear you are a wolf because sometimes you behave like one. But in reality, you are a new creation made by God. You are an innocent sheep under God’s care.

Are you hiding your victories, gifts, and strengths from others and even from yourself? Your greatest victories come from your most painful wounds. Your gifts grow out of your scars. You are strong because you are also weak.

If you want to know the reality of who you are, you must look to both your strengths and your weaknesses.

Conclusion

There is a truer reality beyond what you see in front of you. You must seek it out with spiritual eyes. When you do, you can know for sure who you are.

I’m Matt Pavlik. I’m an ambassador who sometimes feels alienated from God, a witness who sometimes hides like a spy, and a sheep who sometimes acts like a wolf. But more than that, I know for sure I am a child of God (John 1:12).

If you’re ready for an adventure and you can see the portal, step through and start discovering who you really are.