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Trust God When You Struggle To Understand Yourself

Trust God When You Struggle To Understand Yourself

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Reading time: 5 minutes

Life’s unpredictability makes it challenging to trust God. Have you ever made a decision, only to wonder later why you chose that path? Have you ever felt uncertain about your emotions or actions, as if they were beyond your control? The truth is, no one fully understands themselves—not in the way God does. That’s why we must trust God to guide us through life’s uncertainties.

God created you for His purpose, and He knows everything about you, even the parts you haven’t discovered yet. When you trust God, you step into His greater plan, even when you don’t fully understand yourself. While you may struggle to make sense of your thoughts and choices, God’s wisdom remains unshaken. That is why trusting Him is far greater than trusting your own understanding.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

One reason we often feel uncertain is that human awareness operates on different levels. There are at least four levels of awareness:

  1. Active – What you consciously focus on in the moment.
  2. Accessible – Memories and knowledge you can retrieve easily.
  3. Subconscious – Thoughts and experiences that exist below the surface but can be triggered.
  4. Unknown – Aspects of yourself that only God knows, including the future.

When making choices, you are never completely aware of why you decide as you do. That’s why you must trust God—His wisdom surpasses human understanding. But God sees everything—the past, the present, and the future—so trusting Him brings peace.

Trust God with your Active Awareness

Active awareness includes the thoughts and emotions you are consciously focusing on in the immediate moment. This is where your attention is directed. Some people shift focus quickly, while others can remain fixed on a task or idea for a long time.

But active awareness is limited—it only includes what you are thinking right now. When making decisions, it may feel like you have all the information, but there are deeper influences at work.

Trust God with your Accessible Awareness

Accessible awareness consists of thoughts, experiences, and memories that you can retrieve easily, even if they are years or decades old. You may not always be thinking about them, but they are available when needed.

This layer shapes decisions in ways you may not always notice. Perhaps a childhood lesson surfaces when faced with a moral dilemma, or a long-forgotten memory influences how you respond to a situation. Still, accessible awareness is incomplete—you don’t always recall everything when you need to.

Trust God with your Subconscious Awareness

Subconscious awareness is even deeper. It holds thoughts and experiences that are not readily available unless something triggers them.

Triggers can come in many forms:

  • A familiar scent reminds you of a forgotten moment from childhood.
  • A song stirs emotions from a past relationship.
  • A significant life event causes deeper reflection on who you are.

Dreams often process subconscious material, sometimes bringing buried thoughts to the surface. Trauma also remains buried when it is too overwhelming to manage in the moment.

You may not always realize how much your subconscious affects your choices, but God does. Even when buried thoughts shape your actions, you can trust God to lead you in the right direction. He understands what is hidden, shaping His guidance in ways far beyond human awareness.

Trust God with your Unknown Awareness

The unknown represents the future. You may not know how you will grow, change, or develop, but God does.

Imagine a young child. She has no idea what her life will look like in thirty years. Fast forward to adulthood—now, she sees who she has become. Yet even then, her future remains a mystery.

This is why faith is essential. While human awareness is limited, God’s understanding is complete.

Life as a Melody—Trusting the Divine Composer

We are like music boxes, hearing the melody as it plays but never fully knowing why certain notes appear, or what comes next. Yet God, the Divine Composer, is creating something beautiful.

1. The Melody of Life

Each experience in life is like a musical note, carefully arranged by God:

  • Joyful Notes – Moments of love, victory, and peace.
  • Somber Notes – Seasons of grief, difficulty, and reflection.
  • Chaotic Sections – Times when life feels unpredictable, like dissonant music waiting to resolve.

While a single note may seem insignificant, God is composing something extraordinary. Trust that His arrangement is greater than you can perceive.

2. God as the Composer

God is not improvising—He knows every note in advance.

  • He crafts the theme – Just as composers have a vision for their symphony, God has a plan for your life.
  • He chooses the instrument – Just as each instrument has a unique sound, each person has unique talents designed for His purpose.
  • He knows when to pause – Silence in music builds anticipation. When life seems still, God is preparing something ahead.

Even when your life feels uncertain, trust God—He is orchestrating a masterpiece.

3. Unexpected Notes in Life’s Song

Some notes in life feel harsh or unexpected. But God is using them for something greater:

  • Dissonance resolves into beauty – Just as difficult chords lead to harmony, trials lead to growth.
  • The music shifts – Life can suddenly change, like moving from a minor key to a major one. God knows when and how to bring renewal.
  • Hidden layers emerge – Just as melodies are sometimes unnoticed until the song unfolds, God’s plan often reveals itself later.

Even when life feels unpredictable, trust God—He is composing a song of meaning, beauty, and purpose.

Trust the One Who Sees the Whole Picture

Since human awareness is limited, relying solely on personal understanding leads to confusion. But God sees beyond every level of awareness.

You don’t have to understand everything about yourself—you only need to trust God and rest in His wisdom.

Find hope when life is difficult.
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For A Better Relationship, Breathe

For A Better Relationship, Breathe

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Do your relationships ever feel suffocating or isolating? If you’ve been a Christian for some time, you might be familiar with a common saying: “God doesn’t move; if you feel distant, then it’s not Him who’s changed.” In our spiritual journey, we can draw closer to God or allow distance through our decisions and distractions. When you sense that warmth fading, it is often a signal from within that prompts you to examine your priorities and habits.

Staying connected with God is not a passive experience. Just as in any meaningful relationship, maintaining closeness with the Lord requires intentionality—through consistent prayer, meditation on Scripture, and accountability with fellow believers. When neglect sets in, a slow retreat unfolds, not because God has moved away, but because our hearts have drifted into routine and distraction. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward re-establishing that connection.

Deepening Our Relationship with God

In this light, consider the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 3:1:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens

Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

This verse reminds us that both intimacy and periods of thoughtful reprieve are part of God’s plan. It calls us to honor the natural rhythm in our lives—balancing moments of devoted togetherness with intentional times for personal reflection and growth in our walk with the Lord.

Balancing Intimacy and Independence in Relationships

Similarly, the dynamics within our interpersonal relationships follow a rhythm that can be understood through the simple act of breathing. In marriage and close friendships, “breathing in” symbolizes times when you intentionally come together with your spouse to share, to pray, and to connect over heartfelt conversation that reinforces your mutual values. This period of closeness deepens intimacy by keeping your shared spiritual and emotional foundation strong.

On the other hand, “breathing out” does not mean discarding what is good. Instead, it means carving out time for fulfilling, independent pursuits—whether that’s personal study, ministry work, or hobbies that honor your Christian values. This purposeful personal time is essential; it strengthens your individuality and personal faith, equipping you to return to the relationship with renewed purpose and clarity.

Consider a couple experiencing daily tension due to a lack of balance. They have grown so accustomed to constant interaction that personal space is nearly non-existent, resulting in feelings of resentment and a loss of personal identity. By establishing designated periods for couple-time—marked by prayer, conversation, and planning for the future—and respecting intervals for individual reflection, they discovered that their love was not only sustained but enriched. Their experience serves as a powerful reminder that when both aspects are respected, both the marital bond and personal faith can thrive.

When your relationship with God begins to feel strained, consider this breathing rhythm as a guide. Reflect on whether you’re allowing sufficient space for both shared worship and personal devotion. Sometimes, creating clear boundaries for quiet reflection or personal study can lead to a more profound reconnection when joining others in fellowship.

Likewise, examine your relationship with your spouse. Engage in heartfelt conversation about balancing togetherness with personal time. Whether it’s setting aside moments for shared Bible study or arranging personal time to pursue individual callings, this balance strengthens you both as individuals and as a couple.

If you’re facing challenges and finding it hard to rediscover this balance on your own, remember that professional Christian counseling is available. My books and counseling services offer further guidance based on Scripture and real-life experience for anyone seeking to restore closeness and harmony in their relationships.

A thriving relationship isn’t about relentless togetherness or constant isolation—it’s about discerning and respecting the rhythm of your life. By following God’s timing as echoed in Ecclesiastes 3:1, you can learn the art of breathing: drawing close after a time of disconnection, and moving toward fulfilling individual pursuits after togetherness. May you find strength in both union and introspection, knowing that each season is perfectly placed in God’s plan.

Learn about community and loneliness.
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Last updated 20250601

Only God Has Free Will

Only God Has Free Will

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Many people assume that human will is free, but in reality, it is deeply bound—either enslaved to sin or surrendered to righteousness. Only God’s free will is independent of any external influence. He is accountable to no one, dependent on nothing, and remains entirely sovereign over creation. Yet even His choices are shaped by His perfect nature. This is not a limitation. After all, He cannot improve because He is already flawless.

Humans Do Not Have Free Will

Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Romans 6:16 NIV

In contrast to God’s free will, the human will operates within limits. Though people make decisions, their choices are always informed by their nature, which is either corrupted by sin or renewed through righteousness. People function exactly as God created them to function.

The Human Will Depends on God

Human beings contribute nothing to their creation. They do not sustain themselves—God continues to uphold their existence. Likewise, they do nothing to prepare themselves for new life in Christ, nor do they contribute to their spiritual rebirth. Even perseverance in faith is not a human effort but the work of the Holy Spirit. Yet while God initiates and sustains salvation, He does not act without us—He works in and through believers to produce spiritual fruit that accomplishes His plans.

If God’s sovereignty is compromised in even the smallest way, the entire theological framework collapses. Once human effort is inserted into the Gospel, it distorts the truth, reducing salvation to something earned rather than given. A sovereign God must remain fully in control, or else truth itself is weakened.

God’s Free Will Reveals His Ultimate Justice

When we focus on individual suffering, we might perceive injustice and randomness. Pain feels unnecessary, hardships seem unfair, and chaos appears dominant. However, when we zoom out and step back to view the grand picture, God’s justice becomes clearer.

By experience, it does not seem right that good people suffer while evil people prosper. The world appears unbalanced, rewarding corruption while punishing integrity. It isn’t easy to reconcile these realities with the idea of fairness.

Concerning grace, it does not seem right that God holds all people responsible for sin when they are powerless to overcome it on their own. If humanity is enslaved to sin, how can anyone be expected to live righteously without divine intervention? They cannot. Scripture teaches that salvation is purely a work of God, not something earned, but something freely given.

By glory, the tension between suffering and justice will finally be resolved. When God reveals His glory in eternity, everything will make sense. Believers’ brokenness will be fully redeemed, and true justice will be made known. The suffering of the righteous will not be wasted, and the prosperity of the wicked will be fleeting. In God’s presence, all things will be set right.

Living in Light of God’s Sovereign Free Will

This truth isn’t just theological—it affects how we approach daily decisions, big and small. If suffering appears unjust now, we trust that it serves a higher purpose in God’s plan. If human effort cannot produce salvation, we rest in the assurance that God alone secures it. If the world seems chaotic, we hold onto the certainty that justice will be fully revealed when God’s glory is known.

For example, rather than despairing when we witness evil flourishing, we remain steadfast in faith, knowing that no unrighteous act escapes God’s control. Rather than feeling helpless in our failures, we depend entirely on God’s committed love to calm our anxious hearts.

Human free will is impossible because only God’s will is free. Instead of autonomy, the pathway to peace is trust and dependence upon God. With this perspective, our lives are no longer defined by frustration or fear but by confident trust in the God who is fully sovereign, fully just, and fully faithful.

Imagine someone facing a major life decision—whether to take a job in another city or stay where they are. They weigh the pros and cons, feel anxious about the unknown, and struggle with the fear of making the wrong choice.

Instead of relying solely on logic or trying to control every outcome, they surrender the decision to God. They pray, asking Him to guide their steps. They seek wisdom in scripture, trust that He knows what is best, and wait for peace about the next step. Over time, they feel clarity, and even if the path is uncertain, they rest in the confidence that God is leading them where He wants them to be.

Surrendering acknowledges that human “free will” does not solve problems (because it is dependent on God). Even so, surrendering control doesn’t mean doing nothing—it means releasing the need to control what cannot be controlled and trusting God’s sovereignty instead.

Some of the ideas for this post came from Martin Luther’s work The Bondage of the Will.
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Living with Eternal Purpose

Living With Eternal Purpose: No Guts No Glory

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Do you ever feel like just being yourself is too risky? The cost of authenticity might be rejection, but the rewards lead to a life full of purpose. When you embrace who God created you to be, challenges will come—but so will deep joy and meaning. When we live in alignment with God’s design, we experience a glimpse of heaven—a foretaste of the eternal—shaping our journey with divine purpose.

Yet, too often fear holds us back. We hesitate to be vulnerable, to speak honestly, to pursue what truly matters. Why? Because rejection and failure seem unbearable. But what if we could shift our focus, seeing beyond temporary discomfort to the eternal reality that awaits us? Living with this perspective changes everything.

In another post, I wrote about the benefits of imagining what heaven will be like. I asked, “How would seeing the most optimistic vision impact how you live today?” One person’s response perfectly captures the shift from despair to hope that I aimed for. He gave me permission to share his answer:

I enjoyed the post you wrote on Heaven. Thanks for posing the question. It gave me a chance to think about what the rest of my life could look like and how it could begin to move in that direction even now. Knowing what heaven is like and who I am as God’s finished product would change how I live the rest of my days on earth.

During a recent checkup, my doctor said, “You look pretty good for someone who almost died a year ago.” Coming face-to-face with death has me thinking more about how I want to be remembered.

If I knew what God plans for me in heaven, I could risk being that person more on earth, no matter what others thought of me, because I would know it pleased God. I should be doing that anyway, but I struggle to be the best version of me. I want to:

  • be more unselfish, putting others’ needs before my own.
  • be more transparent about my feelings and not be concerned about how that would look to others.
  • speak what is in my heart; I wouldn’t be unkind, but I would be free to disagree with others and risk being rejected and isolated from others.
  • be more vulnerable to love others and help them, no matter what it costs me emotionally or materially.
  • be more humble, living out my purpose of bringing glory to God and doing things that have eternal value, not just what has meaning for my time on earth.

Acting in this way would bring more meaning to my remaining time here, leave an eternal mark, and make something in my life worth remembering to those I leave behind.

Imagining heaven’s best helps me trust God more (I can see why He led me through what He did) and value what He values. I want to see with a better perspective what is important in this life, and what matters so little because it won’t be coming with me into heaven.

This perspective has the power to transform how we live. What if, instead of fearing failure or rejection, we boldly stepped into the identity God designed for us?

How to Step Boldly into Purpose—Without Regrets

It’s easy to get stuck in hesitation, waiting for the “right time” to start living boldly. But if you knew heaven was ahead, what would you risk today to embrace the person God designed you to be?

  • Maybe you need counseling to heal from past wounds that keep you from fully stepping into your purpose.
  • Maybe it’s time to invest in a book that guides you toward deeper faith and self-awareness.
  • Maybe you need to start small, choosing one area of your life to surrender fear and embrace authenticity.

The challenge is real, the risk feels great—but the reward is eternal.

How about you? What will your life look like if you live with no regrets? No guts, no glory. When you risk being who God made you to be, God is glorified.

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

Romans 8:17 NLT

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Last Updated 20250420

Does Our All Powerful God Need Us?

Does Our All Powerful God Need Us?

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God created us, so does that mean He needs us? If He doesn’t need us, why would He create us? To answer these questions fully, we must first clearly understand who God is.

God Does Not Need Us Absolutely

God does not need us in an absolute sense because He is God almighty—eternally self-sufficient. He isn’t deficient because He is lonely. All members of the Trinity provide perfect fellowship. His joy of existing — any aspect of His well-being — does not depend on us. Therefore, God doesn’t need anyone for any reason.

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.

Acts 17:24-25 ESV

Jesus’s baptism highlights the love shared between Father, Son, and Spirit.

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Matthew 3:16-17 ESV

God is eternal. He doesn’t need anything from what He has created including humans. He lives in perfect fellowship. While this is clearly stated in the Bible, evil powers are always at work to discredit God’s truth. The enemy can weaponize God’s self-sufficiency in an attempt to make us dull, despondent, and defeated. The devil might communicate: You don’t matter to God; you’re on your own. He doesn’t need you. He’d be better off without you. All of these misrepresent God and even move on to malign God’s character.

While God is able to carry on and enact His will without us, He chooses not to.

God Needs Us Relatively

God created us because He is love and wants to share Himself with others. He chooses to need us by partnering with us. He has taken our shame, self-pity, and self-deprecation away by making us His sons and daughters. He has given us His Holy Spirit to teach us all things and love us with the same love the Trinity shares.

Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:5 ESV

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

John 14:26 ESV

Until you see yourself as worthwhile, you’ll underestimate your significance and limit your contribution to God’s kingdom. You must throw off your worthlessness and fully embrace the reality and identity God has for you.

God has a specific purpose for your existence. You’re a unique creation, so your active participation is essential. He chose to make you a vital part of His plans, part of the body of Christ. In the reality that God has created, each of us is irreplaceable. He desires fellowship with us and wants to see us thrive. In this sense, God needs us. If none of us were to rise up to do His bidding, He could make the rocks cry out, but that’s not going to happen. God made us to praise Him and praise Him we will.

God has great plans for you, but you can’t accomplish anything apart from God. We need God’s strength and determination to work in and through us, just as Jesus relied on His Father throughout His life. When we participate by faith, God empowers us. Instead of passively waiting for God to topple the giants in your life, consider that He may be calling you to fight, as David did, with the strength of God’s Spirit within you.

Since God has committed to partnering with us to the very end, don’t hesitate to step out in faith to discover who you are and to seek to advance God’s kingdom.

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Last Updated 20250316

Adjust Perspective For Peace And Joy

Adjust Perspective For Peace And Joy

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Reading time: 3 minutes

I like the serenity prayer for many reasons. One is that it teaches us to adjust our expectations for this life — to align them with God’s perspective. Would you rather be only reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy for eternity, or extremely happy in this life and miserable for eternity? Those are the two options that Jesus offers.

Recognize a Temporal Perspective

Loving the world and all it offers more than loving God and all He offers is a sign of a short-sighted perspective. God created many things for our enjoyment, so it isn’t wrong to enjoy them. However, experiencing the connection to God through His Holy Spirit meets a need that nothing in the world can come close to. What satisfies you more? Have you found deeper enjoyment with God or do the things of the world satisfy you enough such that you are not hungry for God?

Looking at his disciples, he said: ‘Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh… But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.’

Luke 6:20-21, 24-25 NIV

If the world fully satisfies, beware because this means that there is no room to enjoy heaven.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?

Matthew 16:24-26 NIV

Unhappiness with this life is a positive indicator for desiring all that exists beyond this life.

Pivot to an Eternal Perspective

The serenity prayer reminds us to adopt a posture of surrender to God’s sovereign plan. We should partner with God to bring the fulfillment of His plan — to change what He wants to be different. But when we cannot understand the suffering that God has ordained, God would have us accept what He does not want to be different.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr

We don’t have to understand why we suffer to be at peace, but we do need to trust God to be at peace. The only way to accomplish this is by shifting from a temporary perspective to an eternal one. Suffering makes no sense if there is no end to it, but it has meaning and purpose when it achieves glory for us.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NIV

Don’t give up on God in the midst of suffering. Ask Him what He is teaching you by it. Ask Him to allow you to see the glory that it is achieving.

Learn more about finding peace and happiness.
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