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3 Ways To Protect Your Relationship With God

3 Ways To Protect Your Relationship With God

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Reading time: 4 minutes

If you don’t protect your relationship with God, your relationship will likely deteriorate. You have an enemy that is doing all he can to destroy you.

The war against the saints is real. The enemy, the devil, wants to create animosity between believers and God. He accomplishes this by convincing believers that God is harmful, evil, or even uncaring.

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8 NLT

The devil never ceases to slander humans to God.

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
“Now have come the salvation and the power
    and the kingdom of our God,
    and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
    who accuses them before our God day and night,
    has been hurled down.

Revelation 12:10 NIV

Here are three ways you can protect your relationship from these attacks:

1 – Protect Your Relationship With God by Knowing Jesus’s Audience

The world can be divided into two sets of people: believers and non-believers. When Jesus interacts with people in the Bible, He is usually tough on the people who are against Him and compassionate toward people who are fragile. In the following text, He equates “little ones” or “children” to “those who believe in me.”

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!

Matthew 18:6-7 NIV

And, when He references causing people to stumble, He is talking about the evil in the world that wants to harm one of His children. This passage in Matthew doesn’t mean that God wants one of His children to die. This isn’t a message of condemnation for believers. His audience is non-believers, not believers.

2- Protect Your Relationship With God by Asking for the Right Gifts

What you want can be divided into two categories: external (or worldly) blessings and internal blessings. A worldly blessing will expire at the end of this life but a spiritual blessing lasts forever.

You could ask God to improve your finances or health. I want more money. I want a bigger house. These are external changes. God, change my circumstances.

You can also ask God to help you mature. I want a better attitude. I want more patience. These are internal changes. God, change me.

If you ask with the wrong motives, God might not grant your desires (James 4:3). If you don’t get what you want, you might draw the wrong conclusions about God. God is withholding good things from me. God wants to give good gifts, but He is the one to determine what gift is needed and when it is needed.

It’s okay to ask for worldly gifts. However, you will protect your relationship with God if you don’t expect more from Him than He promises.

3- Protect Your Relationship With God by Putting God First

You can interpret your experiences in two different ways. You can focus on the negatives or the positives. To avoid painful misinterpretations, you must trust God more than your experiences.

The enemy will do all he can to create interference between you and God. One of the best ways he can accomplish this is by using your experiences against you.

The enemy wants to elevate your experiences above God. For example, if you lose your job, the enemy could attempt to sow fear into your life by promoting the idea that God isn’t taking care of you. If you agree, you are valuing what happens to you more than God.

All three of these examples will protect you from doubting that God is on your side. Whatever you do, don’t let the enemy gain a foothold in your relationship with God. A weakening loyalty to God will only create an opening for the devil to stir up confusion.

In what ways are you doubting God? Talk to God about your impressions of Him. Do all that you can to restore your sense of allegiance to Him. Protect your relationship with God at all costs (Matthew 18:8-9).

Another way to interpret the Bible.
Another way to interpret the Bible correctly.
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On The Fringe: The Truth About The Struggle To Belong

On The Fringe: The Truth About The Struggle To Belong

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Fringe, a TV show about weird, scientifically unexplainable events in the universe, debuted in 2008. It drew my interest at first because of the possibilities of the unknown. Because, well, exploring the mysteries of life is exciting.

“Fringe” can have a much broader definition than scientific anomalies. It has a connotation of “flaky” or “fragile.” If someone is teetering on the edge of an abyss they are on the fringe. They are one step away from slipping out of a meaningful existence. They are like Frodo when he puts on the evil ring; he must fight to not be drawn into the shadow world.

Non-Christians are on the Fringe

Without Christ, it’s easy to become lost in an endless pursuit of mysterious unknowns. Maybe there is something of substance beyond the fringe? Maybe an alien race is monitoring our every move. What else is out there?

You can become hooked on the lottery for the same reasons. Having lots of money sounds good, so it must be a good idea to buy into the lottery. I’ve got nothing else to do. I’ve got nothing to lose. — even though the odds of winning are small. You might say you have a fringe of a chance.

The craving to seek and discover is a good (God-given) desire. However, some people will tenaciously pursue strange, made-up phenomena, while at the same time refusing to acknowledge the existence of a real God that cries out to them through His creation.

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Romans 1:20 NIV

One definition of fringe is being “at the part of something that is farthest from the center.” This describes non-Christians quite well. They are present, able to see but choosing to face away from the center and pursue the outermost fringes of God’s creation. They keep hoping to find the fulfillment of their inner hunger in anything but God.

Are You, Christian, on The Fringe?

Another definition of fringe is “not completely belonging to or accepted by a group of people who share the same job, activities, etc.” It’s possible to be a Christian and know Christ, but still feel like you are on the fringe. This shouldn’t be so.

Do you feel like you are on the fringe? Are you hanging in the balance? Do you know you have worth, but can’t seem to feel your true worth in Christ?

Christ calls all who belong to Him to move toward Him. Because of His awesome sacrifice, all who are far away from the center are able to move toward the center.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:16 NIV

“I am weird” and “I am worthless” are lies. Just because others don’t understand you (even other Christians) or you haven’t found a way to meet your needs doesn’t mean you are fringe material. Every one of God’s people belongs.

Living according to God’s plan for you means you will need to walk a different path than others walk. You have God’s favor as you walk on the path He made for you (see John 21:20-23).

God smiles as He thinks of you. God is always thinking about you. God is smiling at you. Look up to see His face.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
    no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

Psalm 34:5 NLT

Learn more about belonging.
More on the TV show at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fringe_(TV_series)
Definition from https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/on-the-fringes-of-something
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Play Is Essential To Being Your Best

Play Is Essential To Being Your Best

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Reading time: 3 minutes

When you rake leaves in your yard, is it fun or work? Your answer probably depends on your purpose. Your goal might be to play in the leaves. Or, it might be to make your yard look presentable when you’d rather be doing something more fun.

Children will spend hours raking leaves when they see it as fun. But tell them it’s a chore they have to do, and they’ll spend hours moving slowly and complaining about the job.

What is Play?

Play is a time-out from reality in order to better understand reality. Click To Tweet

In his classic book Homo Ludens, Johan Huizinga defined play as “a free activity standing quite consciously outside ‘ordinary’ life as being ‘not serious,’ but at the same time absorbing the player intensely and utterly. It is an activity connected with no material interest, and no profit can be gained by it. It proceeds within its own proper boundaries of time and space according to fixed rules and in an orderly manner.”

Play can be work you enjoy; if it becomes drudgery, it has become something else. Play is relaxing; if it becomes stressful, it has become something else. People choose to play; if it is forced, it has become something else. Play is a glimpse of heaven. If it involves sin (missing God’s ideal), it has become something else.

Play is Related to Purpose and Rest

Play is important because it allows you to connect with the reason God created you. Kids use their imagination to re-create (recreate, grow, build) their understanding of God, self, and life. Forgetting how to have fun is never a good thing. Perhaps the Sabbath is meant to be a time to have fun instead of working so hard.

If your life is all about work, you’ll see yourself as an object that others use. You lose your value. You believe what you want is irrelevant. With a worldview like this, you become only a shell of a person. You can become so focused on tasks that you no longer feel like a person.

One of my favorite things to do is install insulation in a hot attic. Just kidding! I’ve taken on this task a couple of times and it always triggers the thought, this must be what hell feels like. Isolation from people. Irritation from glass fibers. Extreme heat. Maybe insulating is better as a non-summer activity? I’d rather be raking leaves.

When work becomes the priority in life, you’ll lose touch with your true purpose and you’ll become depressed. That’s because you’re made for more than being a machine. Machines don’t have feelings; they tolerate meaningless repetition.

God made you to have fun. He made you to experience joy.

Different people will define “fun” differently. What is work to one, will be fun to another. There will even be different times when what was once work is play, or what was once play is work.

How Much Fun Are You (Having)?

Could you be experiencing depression or anxiety because you have a faulty view of life that emphasizes work over play? Maybe you didn’t become this way on purpose, but your life has changed slowly and now you’ve forgotten how to have fun.

Do a quick check of your current lifestyle.

How much of your life is work and how much is fun?
Has your “fun” turned into a chore?
When was the last time you let loose with an all-out belly laugh?
When was the last time you chose to be more extravagant than efficient?
What are you afraid will happen if you pursue more fun in your life?

Heaven is going to be like work that feels like play, not play that feels like work. Click To Tweet

With the right motivation, your work will honor God, but God also taught His people to have times of celebration and rest. See Luke 15:23-24 and Psalm 118:24.

So this week, will you be intentional about truly playing? Set some time aside for this ultimate way to enter God’s rest. You can’t reach God’s purpose for your life without play.

Read about desire fulfillment.
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Last updated June 25, 2023

Authentic Sharing Leaves People Blessed

Authentic Sharing Leaves People Blessed

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Reading time: 4 minutes

We thrive when God shares His life with us through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sharing your life with others might be the best way to encourage someone. Paul describes his desire for mutual edification to the believers in Rome:

One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. For I long to visit you so I can bring you some spiritual gift that will help you grow strong in the Lord. When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.

Romans 1:10-12 NLT

A testimony is a statement of personal experience. It can’t be refuted, but it is also hard to deny. Testimonies are usually intentional and planned, but casual sharing can be just as effective.

Sharing Your Spirit is a Blessing

Others need your perspective. It can be incredibly encouraging just to hear someone else acknowledge God’s truth as real. God gives us life to share with others. What is more precious than life? Sharing your life is like a supercharged spiritual discipline.

Because we are made in God’s image, we are spirit at our core too. God made us to have some control over what we keep hidden and what we reveal.

For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.

John 4:24 NLT

If God invests in revealing who He is to us, we should also spend time revealing ourselves to each other. By sharing ourselves we are also revealing who God is because God lives within us. This kind of spiritual sharing goes beyond sharing physical resources.

God’s Spirit has shown you everything. His Spirit finds out everything, even what is deep in the mind of God.

1 Corinthians 2:10 CEV

To see and know God is eternal life (John 17:3).

Mutual Sharing is Superior

What is motivating you when you share? Interestingly enough, sharing benefits both the speaker and the listener. In most relationships, balanced sharing is more rewarding. Listening can be work but it can also be an act of receiving a blessing. Speaking can be work, for example when someone is teaching, but it can also be advantageous.

The speaker is blessed by knowing that what is shared makes a difference in someone else’s life. Sharing is also important for another more subtle reason: not sharing is unnatural. An example of this is when someone gives another the silent treatment. People become emotionally sick when they cannot share their lives with others.

Even though sharing is beneficial, this doesn’t mean it is healthy to share indiscriminately. Even God reveals Himself only to specific people.

My Father has entrusted everything to me. No one truly knows the Son except the Father, and no one truly knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

Luke 10:22 NLT

Some people have no interest or use for God’s words. They do not understand. They do not know eternal life. God says that you don’t have to waste your time with these people. But there are plenty of others who are poor in spirit. They want to hear the words of truth. They are hungry for the life you have flowing within you.

Don’t give to dogs what belongs to God. They will only turn and attack you. Don’t throw pearls down in front of pigs. They will trample all over them.

Matthew 7:6 CEV

Too often people are taught to not be selfish and to listen more than speak. But if everyone followed this advice, no one would be talking! I encourage you to intentionally seek a balance in your relationships. Both speaking and listening are powerful blessings.

When you speak, be deliberate about sharing the best parts of your spiritual life. What has God been doing in your heart? When you are listening to others, realize they are sharing the “pearls of the kingdom” with you. You are treading on holy ground. Be respectful of this blessing.

Speak and listen with all of your heart.

Learn about overcoming shame.
Learn about the limits of self-revelation.
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What Is Sin? A Foolish Rebellion Against God

What Is Sin? A Foolish Rebellion Against God

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Your understanding of sin can have a profound effect on your life. If your definition is inaccurate, you will be either too judgmental or too lenient with yourself and others. What is sin? What is the best way to understand sin? Is sinning different that sin?

Sin is Rooted in a Sinful Nature

What is a sinful nature? It is the condition of our existence that we are born into. It cannot be escaped by any effort apart from God.

A sinful nature is a core (primary) attitude in the heart: a desire to live your own life, with your own rules, apart from God. Instead of acknowledging and choosing dependence upon God, sin is rebellion against God and what He stands for. Rebellion can be open and demonstrative or silent but seething below the surface.

Those who desire to live apart from God will get what they wish for. Hell is a place absent of God’s goodness, with no hope of escape.

Sin is Different than Sinning

Sin is the disease of the heart. None of us are born ready to choose God wholeheartedly.

We are powerless to separate our sinful nature from our physical bodies. Everyone (except Jesus, Elijah, and Enoch) will die physically because of their sin. Jesus died, but not because of His sin. Elijah and Enoch were sinful like the rest of us, but God took them to heaven before they died. The point is that sin is fatal.

Sin is ongoing but sinning (committing a sin) is a distinct moment in time. Sinning is trivial compared to sin. Sin is more like an incurable disease and sinning is like a natural symptom of the disease. Ceasing sinning does not eliminate sin. But the person who is cured of the disease by faith in Jesus will eventually stop sinning.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.

Romans 6:6-7 NLT

Sinning is an action. Sinning is essentially involuntary for non-believers. Because Christ defeated sin and death, sinning is a choice for believers.

Believers are Saints, Not Sinners

A non-believer is a “sinner.” A believer is a “saint.” A sinner will continue sinning. A saint will sin, but not continue in the same defiant way over time. God gives saints the ability to repent.

John Piper answers the question, What is Sin? on his website. He does an excellent job explaining and supporting the idea that no one is good except God. We all fall short, therefore, none of us are capable of good works (apart from God working in us).

For as good of a job he does providing the needed support to answer the question, I am disappointed with his final, concise definition:

Sinning is any feeling or thought or speech or action that comes from a heart that does not treasure God over all other things.

John Piper

As a counselor, I see this definition as confusing at best or containing errors at worst. The definition is complicated and susceptible to misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Here are some questions it raises for me:

  • What about a heart that does treasure God? A saint will treasure God. But a saint is still capable of sinning.
  • Sinning is different than sin. How does this answer the question, what is sin?
  • Feelings and thoughts, and even speech and actions can be indicators of a sinful heart. They are like the smoke resulting from a raging fire.
  • Feelings and thoughts can be involuntary. They just happen. God judges sin and condemns it. Should a definition of sin focus on condemning feelings? When people burst into tears or express they are afraid, do they need to know first and foremost that they are sinning? Negative feelings can indicate wrong belief about God (needs correction), but they don’t necessarily mean unbelief (sinful).

A better definition will focus on the heart, the core, the root of the problem. I propose a simpler, direct definition: Sin is brokenness producing an attitude of foolish rebellion against God and what He stands for.

The saint practices learning how to stop sinning. The saint values God’s truth. The saint sees dependence upon God as the only way life can possibly work. There can be only one true Kingdom — God’s. Attempting to set up one’s own kingdom apart from God is nothing less than sinful insurrection.

Read more about Elijah and Enoch
Read more about Unbelief
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Wisdom Sees The Lord As Awesome

Wisdom Sees The Lord As Awesome

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Reading time: 4 minutes

How do you see the Lord? Wisdom enables you to respect God. But given that life can be so difficult, God might not seem worthy of respect.

Does the Bible contradict itself? How can a good God continue to allow pain and suffering? Why does God choose some people and seem to reject others?

Most Christians would agree the Bible is our source of truth. But how can there be so many different interpretations of the truth? Which one is right?

To interpret the Bible correctly requires keeping in mind two ideas. First: God authored it, so only He can correctly communicate His intentions. God’s Spirit within the believer guides the believer into truth. Second: Your presuppositions can make or break your interpretation. If a building’s foundation is faulty, the rest of it will be too.

I’m assuming you are a believer and want to know God’s opinion about the truth. So, I’m going to focus on the second idea: how to form a solid foundation. Because we read top to bottom, I will flip my analogy upside-down.

Instead of a building, I want you to imagine a pyramid. There’s only room for one block at the top. The next layer has a few more blocks, and the third layer has even more. To understand the Bible, you must know the one truth that is higher than all others. This truth helps interpret all the levels below it.

A hierarchy is needed to know what is most important. You have a pyramid of values that determines how you will interpret the Bible.

Wisdom says God Exists

Putting this truth at the top establishes your basic worldview. God created you. When you are trying to understand what the Bible has to say about your life, you first realize that God is real. See Hebrews 11:6.

Wisdom says God is Good

One level down you can establish that God is perfect. In all that God does, He is working for good. He can’t commit an evil act. This prevents you from questioning God’s motives. See Mark 10:18.

Wisdom says God is Love

Around the same level as good, we can say that God is love. He cares about you personally and wants an intimate connection. He wants to know you, and He wants you to know Him. See 1 John 4:8.

Wisdom says God is Higher

God always understands us, but we can’t always understand Him. See Isaiah 55:8-9 and Proverbs 3:5-6.

Wisdom says God is in Control

God is all-powerful. God has the power to change the outcome of history. When it unfolds the way it does, God is allowing it that way for His purposes. This allows us to trust God even when life is confusing and difficult. See Psalm 31:13-14.

You can make many plans,
    but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.

Proverbs 19:21 NLT

Wisdom says God Allows Suffering

God continues to allow evil to exist. God allows bad things to happen. God allows suffering to continue.

How can these statements about God help strengthen your doubt? You might not have a full answer to why God allows suffering. Indeed, when He knows the time is right, the world as we know it will be gone and we’ll be in heaven. Until then, it’s important that we don’t lose our way.

There is a reason I put suffering so far down. When you’re in pain and suffering, look up farther in the pyramid. God is in control. God’s ways are higher. God is love. God is good. God exists. These are true whether your life is going well or not so well. These are true whether someone else’s life is going well or not so well.

If you start doubting the top of the pyramid, where will that lead you? How would your life be different with “God doesn’t exist” at the top?

Next time you read something in the Bible that confuses you or causes doubt, refer to your hierarchy of truth. It should save you from having to rebuild a pyramid every time you encounter a difficult life event.

Occasionally, you might find your pyramid has a weak point that needs to be strengthened. For example, you might need to know God’s forgiveness, and therefore, “God is love” fits closer to the top. This isn’t to say that truth can change but only recognizes that your understanding of what belongs at the top can shift some as you grow.

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom.
    Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.

Proverbs 9:10 NLT

Wisdom starts with (or is founded upon) fearing the Lord. Fear of the Lord is the top of the pyramid. God exists. He’s in control. He holds your very life. You live and breathe only because God wills it.

What struggles cause you to doubt? What helps you remain faithful (full of faith) despite circumstances?

Learn more about confidence in the Lord.
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Last updated May 28, 2023