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Identity's Mystery Uncovered

Identity’s Mystery Uncovered

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Identity is both a mystery and a guide. Only God knows everything about us. We speak, feel, and act from the core of who we are, but only God completely knows our hearts. And yet, the longer we live, the more we come to understand who we are.

Identity is Like a Seed

If you plant an apple seed, can it grow into a pear tree? Of course not! The identity of the seed is the same as the tree. Identity is “preprogrammed” by God. When we are conceived, a seed is planted and it will grow into the person God plans for us to be.

People must go through a second conception and birth to overcome the spiritual death present from the first birth. The first birth reveals only a shadow of true life. The first seed contains complete plans but lacks spiritual life. The second seed recreates people with spiritual vitality so that they can connect with God.

A seed looks nothing like what it will grow into. Only after it has matured can we see it for what it is. Unfortunately because of sin and creation’s curse, what is visible is distorted.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:11-12 ESV

Identity Is What You Cannot Lose

Imagine you’re in the worst sandstorm of all time. The wind uses the sand to scrub away at you. The intensity of the blast separates little pieces of you and the wind carries them into the distance.

If this were a real sandstorm, your body couldn’t withstand it. But I’m talking about a cleansing from who you aren’t. After such a thorough cleansing, what is left of you?

Identity is what you can’t ever lose. Whatever is left is the true you. What got carried away wasn’t ever really a part of the true you. Maybe through life experiences, you feel as though you’ve lost yourself. Don’t worry. You are still there. God knows exactly who you are.

These four dictionary definitions (compiled from yourdictionary.com and dictionary.com) capture the essence of identity. Identity is:

  1. “Who you are.”
  2. “The set of characteristics by which you are definitively recognizable.” This definition clarifies that we can use identity to distinguish you from others.
  3. “Your unique characteristics held by no other person.” This definition clarifies that having an identity means you have something that no one else will ever have.
  4. “What remains the same, constant, persisting over time, under varying circumstances.” This definition provides the insight that identity must be permanently yours, or else it isn’t part of you.

Take a moment and think about what can be taken from you or what you can lose. What is left? I’m not talking about the things God has promised are yours. If you’re a Christian, you have eternal life and an eternal relationship with God and others. Your identity is who you are. The “who that is you” will always be forever. Remember this when you feel like life is ripping you apart.

And I will put this third into the fire,
and refine them as one refines silver,
and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

—Zechariah 13:9

God is helping you become the purest and truest version of who you are. Listen to the Refiner’s Fire worship song. Ask God to help you know and experience your true identity.

Learn more about the mystery of identity.
Image by Anja from Pixabay
Last updated 2023/12/17

4 Breathtaking Ways God Responds To Pain

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Pain in this life up until heaven is inevitable. When times are good it’s easy to forget that and instead expect life to be pain-free. Then, God becomes the bad guy.

Job and Jonah learned this but in different ways. Job had an exceptionally good life, then he lost nearly everything, then he regained happy circumstances. He knew what it is like to see painfully dramatic shifts in his fortune.

Jonah’s life was average; he was neither rich nor poor. But at least he had a relationship with God; he knew God’s forgiveness. Yet, he apparently didn’t remember what it was like to be a recipient of God’s mercy. Or, at least he didn’t want to see people, who he thought didn’t deserve it, be given the opportunity to receive it.

At the end of Jonah (chapter 4), God demonstrates to Jonah the value of caring about others who are less fortunate. Jonah is sensitive to God’s blessing (the plant) the God’s removal of blessing (the plant dying). It’s normal to be sensitive, but God wants us to learn how to distribute our concern equally between ourselves and others.

Some people are overly concerned about themselves to the neglect of others. While some others focus too much on others’ needs, ignoring their own needs.

When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain required to change, you become sufficiently motivated to grow. If you’re blocking the pain, you’re holding back your growth. If you’re experiencing more pain than you can handle, you’re too isolated from love.

To be able to tolerate life’s misfortunes, you need God. God is love; only He can cause pain to become relatively insignificant when compared with our futures in heaven (Romans 8:18).

I believe Peter was speaking from his experience of denying Christ (John 18:17, 25–27) and being reaffirmed as a chosen disciple when he wrote this verse:

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

1 Peter 5:10 ESV

1. Restoring Minimizes Pain

Restore means to return to a former condition, place, or position. God wants you to have what you have lost. This doesn’t mean you will receive exactly the same as what you lost (Job didn’t). But God wants you to move forward according to the plans He has for you.

2. Confirming Minimizes Pain

Confirm means to make it publicly valid. What happens in your life should be relevant to other people in your life. We celebrate and mourn together, not alone.

3. Strengthening Minimizes Pain

Strengthen means to support, increase, and reinforce. If you are going to move beyond pain, you need God’s strength. Pay attention to how God is developing your ability to complete His plans.

4. Establishing Minimizes Pain

Establish means to achieve permanent acceptance. When God establishes you, He does not have plans for you to run away (like Jonah). He is appointing you to accomplish His work.

Notice the progression. Restore and confirm recover what was lost. God wants to heal you. But strengthen and establish go beyond the unimaginable. When God establishes you, you’re permanently accepted. God has called you to eternal glory. You can’t get more permanently accepted than that.

God does all of this because He cares. Whenever you experience suffering, you always have a choice to turn away from God or to turn toward God. Peter experienced God restoring, confirming, strengthening, and establishing him (John 21:15-17). You can, too!

Read more about pain.
Image by Alexa from Pixabay
Last updated September 18, 2022

Identity Manifesto

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Do you know what a manifesto is? According to thesaurus.com, it’s a public statement of belief — a “public declaration explaining past actions and announcing the motive for forthcoming ones.”

I wrote an Identity Manifesto to raise awareness of the need for us to better understand who God intends us to be. Why? Because the lack of identity is at epidemic proportions. I’m calling for you to join me in serious pursuit of who God made you to be.

You can't be blind to who you are, believe lies about yourself, and see God clearly at the same time. Share on X

If everyone knew who they were and why God made them, imagine what effect this would have on the quality of life. Wouldn’t addiction, crime, depression, anxiety, bad attitudes, feeling lost and empty… all decrease and maybe even cease?

As all Christians grow in their identity, the time will pass quickly as God’s plans come to fruition. Then, we’ll be together in heaven, fully knowing each other and fully knowing God.

You’ll receive a copy of the Identity Manifesto when you signup to receive my weekly emails.

When you make a decision to join me in pursuit of identity, let me know in an email or post a comment. I ‘d like to know what you find to be the most difficult thing about learning who God made you to be.

Stop Drifting and Start Living on Purpose

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A sailor woke up on his ship drifting in the ocean. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t remember how he got there. He couldn’t recall where he came from. He had no idea where he was going.

He did have a working knowledge of sailing. All directions looked the same to him, so he continued to sail in the direction he was already going.

Could this sailor be you? Stop and examine your life. Are you moving in a direction on purpose? Or do you only let the waters take you where they want to go?

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.

—Lewis Carroll

If your only goal is to not be where you are, then don’t waste time trying to pick the best direction. If you want to get away fast, don’t bother analyzing your options.

Drifting along in life is necessary when you have no clue who you are. But drifting without a systematic mapping of your journey is foolish. As you journey through life, God wants you to map your experiences and make increasingly educated decisions about your life direction and goals.

Immaturity is drifting along without paying attention to where you’ve been. Maturity is growing in the knowledge (experience) of who God is and who you are.

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.

—Seneca

If you don’t care where you’re going, why would you care which way the wind is blowing? If you don’t have a goal or destination in mind, no help exists for you.

Here are two questions to help you find a direction and stay on course every day:

  1. How are you not being your authentic self?
  2. In what way can you grow toward your authentic self?

Your authentic self is your God-given identity.

Is this a Cross?

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Reading time: 2 minutes

I recently came across a cross. Or what someone told me was a cross.

As far as I know, the artwork was done with the right heart. The inscription said something like, “God told me to leave the cross open.”

What does this picture of an “open cross” mean to you? On a positive side, it could mean that the cross is open to all. And if that means all who want to develop a relationship with God can repent and accept Jesus’s death and resurrection, I’m all for it. God’s invitation is open to all.

Being a mostly organized person I appreciate order. Most of the time my desires aren’t pathological like Monk (the Obsessive Compulsive Detective). I like symmetry. I also like abstract and symbolic art.

But for some reason, I find this depiction of the cross to be… disturbing. It feels like an attempt to be modern gone bad. It crosses over into something new age. It waters down the truth. It makes the work of Jesus look incomplete and… cheap.

In fact, the more I looked at it, the more I felt uneasy. I see a swastika, not a cross. But apparently, the swastika is a cross of sorts — a hooked cross. To some cultures, it has a positive connotation but to others, it is associated with terror (according to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swastika).

So, maybe this is a psychological test — a Rorschach of sorts.

What does my interpretation say about me? I’m more of a purist when it comes to truth. I look for the simple truth and become uneasy with trying to dress it up too much.

I like that God made men and women different with distinct preferences. I see consistency and meaning in gender. The physical appearance of our bodies is representative of the underlying spirit and personality God gives us. For more on gender see https://christianconcepts.com/why-gender-is-binary.

Here’s my attempt at an open cross.

I’m not saying this discussion is a matter of right or wrong. But for my own sense of peace and order, the first cross just… crosses a line for me.

What do you see and how do you feel about the first cross?

How Two Identities Resolve Conflict

How Two Identities Resolve Conflict

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People can approach conflict in only two ways. Some people prefer to avoid conflict and others pursue it. Often, it seems, that these two kinds of people end up marrying each other. But that’s more of an illusion than reality because approaches to conflict can be quite fluid depending upon what you value most.

For a couple to resolve conflict and become one in a healthy way, they first must know and understand their own values and priorities. You can identify your priorities using this simple exercise. Then you’ll have a foundation for deciding whether you can give in, compromise, or hold your ground.

Resolve Conflict for Minor Issues

For minor issues that are neither right nor wrong, you can be more flexible. Actually, you don’t have to be flexible, but you have the option of being flexible. Here are a couple of examples of this:

  • You agree to paint your house the color your spouse prefers.
  • You agree to a vacation in the mountains when you usually prefer the beach.
  • You agree to visit your in-laws more frequently than you prefer. Optionally, you could decide to stay home and have some alone time.

The key to making a fair decision is to not lose sight of the individual and the marriage. You can’t always insist on doing everything the way you prefer. Neither should you always blindly do everything the way your spouse prefers.

Resolve Conflict for Major Issues

Major issues, such as fundamental beliefs about life and faith, are never meant to be compromised. Here are a couple of examples of this:

  • You believe sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage, so you refuse to progress your intimacy beyond a certain point until after your wedding.
  • Your spouse wants to lie about your finances to save money, but you tell the truth anyway.
  • Your spouse teases you about your faith in Jesus Christ, but you hold fast to your faith.

However, sometimes you can adjust your behaviors without compromising your values. Here are a couple of examples of this:

  • You don’t agree with a particular church’s doctrine, but you attend services there because your spouse wants to. You can still worship God in your heart the way you want to, so your individual integrity isn’t compromised.
  • You don’t drink, but your son will have alcohol at his wedding. You go anyway but refuse to drink.

You make a conscious choice to reprioritize your values. Here are a couple of examples of this:

  • Normally, family is your highest value, but after some personal reflection, you are ready to be more adventurous, so you agree to your spouse accepting a job that requires you to move away from family.
  • Normally, a career is your highest value, but you agree to have a second child.

Resolve Conflict for Difficult Issues

Conflict resolution is easy, right? It is until it isn’t. If you find you can’t come to a resolution in one of the above four ways, you’ll need to go deeper to explore the source of your values. Could you be holding onto a value because of some unmet emotional need? Perhaps something like one of the following is true:

  • You grew up in a home where your parents favored your sibling, so you rarely could choose what you wanted.
  • You were bullied in school, and you never want to feel that way again.
  • Your parents were extremely tight with their money, and you made a vow you’d never be like them.

Emotional scars form the basis for most “unreconcilable differences.” Conflict resolution will be much easier after you pursue emotional healing.

This solution for resolving conflict is the third and final post in a series on two identities developing closeness. You can read the first one: How Two Identities Become One, or the second one, Why Two Identities Struggle to Resolve Conflict, to understand the context.

Picture From Pexels