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How do I Realize My Identity?

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When life is a struggle, sometimes we wrestle with ourselves, sometimes with our circumstances, and sometimes we wrestle with God.

I wonder what challenge your facing that is causing you to want to realize your identity. Whatever the challenge is, I suggest you face it head-on. As you wrestle with it, you’ll learn more about who you are. Jacob wrestled with God and God ended up changing his name.

 And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.

—Genesis 32:24-29

To understand your identity, you should also consider your worldview. What is your relationship to everything else besides you? Look at where you fit in comparison to everything else.

Considering your likes and dislikes is good. Considering what others see is also good. But there’s more. What brings deep satisfaction and meaning to you?

To realize your identity, enter into the following cycle:

  1. Define yourself as best as you can. Who are you?
  2. Live life. Experiment. Try something new.
  3. Define your worldview. Where are you?
  4. Define your purpose. Why are you here?
  5. Define your goals. What do you want to accomplish next?
  6. Focus on what is most meaningful to you for a while.
  7. Return to step 1 and repeat.
Identity's Mystery Uncovered

Identity’s Mystery Uncovered

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Identity is both a mystery and a guide. Only God knows everything about us. We speak, feel, and act from the core of who we are, but only God completely knows our hearts. And yet, the longer we live, the more we come to understand who we are.

Identity is Like a Seed

If you plant an apple seed, can it grow into a pear tree? Of course not! The identity of the seed is the same as the tree. Identity is “preprogrammed” by God. When we are conceived, a seed is planted and it will grow into the person God plans for us to be.

People must go through a second conception and birth to overcome the spiritual death present from the first birth. The first birth reveals only a shadow of true life. The first seed contains complete plans but lacks spiritual life. The second seed recreates people with spiritual vitality so that they can connect with God.

A seed looks nothing like what it will grow into. Only after it has matured can we see it for what it is. Unfortunately because of sin and creation’s curse, what is visible is distorted.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:11-12 ESV

Identity Is What You Cannot Lose

Imagine you’re in the worst sandstorm of all time. The wind uses the sand to scrub away at you. The intensity of the blast separates little pieces of you and the wind carries them into the distance.

If this were a real sandstorm, your body couldn’t withstand it. But I’m talking about a cleansing from who you aren’t. After such a thorough cleansing, what is left of you?

Identity is what you can’t ever lose. Whatever is left is the true you. What got carried away wasn’t ever really a part of the true you. Maybe through life experiences, you feel as though you’ve lost yourself. Don’t worry. You are still there. God knows exactly who you are.

These four dictionary definitions (compiled from yourdictionary.com and dictionary.com) capture the essence of identity. Identity is:

  1. “Who you are.”
  2. “The set of characteristics by which you are definitively recognizable.” This definition clarifies that we can use identity to distinguish you from others.
  3. “Your unique characteristics held by no other person.” This definition clarifies that having an identity means you have something that no one else will ever have.
  4. “What remains the same, constant, persisting over time, under varying circumstances.” This definition provides the insight that identity must be permanently yours, or else it isn’t part of you.

Take a moment and think about what can be taken from you or what you can lose. What is left? I’m not talking about the things God has promised are yours. If you’re a Christian, you have eternal life and an eternal relationship with God and others. Your identity is who you are. The “who that is you” will always be forever. Remember this when you feel like life is ripping you apart.

And I will put this third into the fire,
and refine them as one refines silver,
and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”

—Zechariah 13:9

God is helping you become the purest and truest version of who you are. Listen to the Refiner’s Fire worship song. Ask God to help you know and experience your true identity.

Learn more about the mystery of identity.
Image by Anja from Pixabay
Last updated 2023/12/17

4 Breathtaking Ways God Responds To Pain

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Pain in this life up until heaven is inevitable. When times are good it’s easy to forget that and instead expect life to be pain-free. Then, God becomes the bad guy.

Job and Jonah learned this but in different ways. Job had an exceptionally good life, then he lost nearly everything, then he regained happy circumstances. He knew what it is like to see painfully dramatic shifts in his fortune.

Jonah’s life was average; he was neither rich nor poor. But at least he had a relationship with God; he knew God’s forgiveness. Yet, he apparently didn’t remember what it was like to be a recipient of God’s mercy. Or, at least he didn’t want to see people, who he thought didn’t deserve it, be given the opportunity to receive it.

At the end of Jonah (chapter 4), God demonstrates to Jonah the value of caring about others who are less fortunate. Jonah is sensitive to God’s blessing (the plant) the God’s removal of blessing (the plant dying). It’s normal to be sensitive, but God wants us to learn how to distribute our concern equally between ourselves and others.

Some people are overly concerned about themselves to the neglect of others. While some others focus too much on others’ needs, ignoring their own needs.

When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain required to change, you become sufficiently motivated to grow. If you’re blocking the pain, you’re holding back your growth. If you’re experiencing more pain than you can handle, you’re too isolated from love.

To be able to tolerate life’s misfortunes, you need God. God is love; only He can cause pain to become relatively insignificant when compared with our futures in heaven (Romans 8:18).

I believe Peter was speaking from his experience of denying Christ (John 18:17, 25–27) and being reaffirmed as a chosen disciple when he wrote this verse:

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

1 Peter 5:10 ESV

1. Restoring Minimizes Pain

Restore means to return to a former condition, place, or position. God wants you to have what you have lost. This doesn’t mean you will receive exactly the same as what you lost (Job didn’t). But God wants you to move forward according to the plans He has for you.

2. Confirming Minimizes Pain

Confirm means to make it publicly valid. What happens in your life should be relevant to other people in your life. We celebrate and mourn together, not alone.

3. Strengthening Minimizes Pain

Strengthen means to support, increase, and reinforce. If you are going to move beyond pain, you need God’s strength. Pay attention to how God is developing your ability to complete His plans.

4. Establishing Minimizes Pain

Establish means to achieve permanent acceptance. When God establishes you, He does not have plans for you to run away (like Jonah). He is appointing you to accomplish His work.

Notice the progression. Restore and confirm recover what was lost. God wants to heal you. But strengthen and establish go beyond the unimaginable. When God establishes you, you’re permanently accepted. God has called you to eternal glory. You can’t get more permanently accepted than that.

God does all of this because He cares. Whenever you experience suffering, you always have a choice to turn away from God or to turn toward God. Peter experienced God restoring, confirming, strengthening, and establishing him (John 21:15-17). You can, too!

Read more about pain.
Image by Alexa from Pixabay
Last updated September 18, 2022

Identity Manifesto

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Do you know what a manifesto is? According to thesaurus.com, it’s a public statement of belief — a “public declaration explaining past actions and announcing the motive for forthcoming ones.”

I wrote an Identity Manifesto to raise awareness of the need for us to better understand who God intends us to be. Why? Because the lack of identity is at epidemic proportions. I’m calling for you to join me in serious pursuit of who God made you to be.

You can't be blind to who you are, believe lies about yourself, and see God clearly at the same time. Share on X

If everyone knew who they were and why God made them, imagine what effect this would have on the quality of life. Wouldn’t addiction, crime, depression, anxiety, bad attitudes, feeling lost and empty… all decrease and maybe even cease?

As all Christians grow in their identity, the time will pass quickly as God’s plans come to fruition. Then, we’ll be together in heaven, fully knowing each other and fully knowing God.

You’ll receive a copy of the Identity Manifesto when you signup to receive my weekly emails.

When you make a decision to join me in pursuit of identity, let me know in an email or post a comment. I ‘d like to know what you find to be the most difficult thing about learning who God made you to be.

Stop Drifting and Start Living on Purpose

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A sailor woke up on his ship drifting in the ocean. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t remember how he got there. He couldn’t recall where he came from. He had no idea where he was going.

He did have a working knowledge of sailing. All directions looked the same to him, so he continued to sail in the direction he was already going.

Could this sailor be you? Stop and examine your life. Are you moving in a direction on purpose? Or do you only let the waters take you where they want to go?

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.

—Lewis Carroll

If your only goal is to not be where you are, then don’t waste time trying to pick the best direction. If you want to get away fast, don’t bother analyzing your options.

Drifting along in life is necessary when you have no clue who you are. But drifting without a systematic mapping of your journey is foolish. As you journey through life, God wants you to map your experiences and make increasingly educated decisions about your life direction and goals.

Immaturity is drifting along without paying attention to where you’ve been. Maturity is growing in the knowledge (experience) of who God is and who you are.

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.

—Seneca

If you don’t care where you’re going, why would you care which way the wind is blowing? If you don’t have a goal or destination in mind, no help exists for you.

Here are two questions to help you find a direction and stay on course every day:

  1. How are you not being your authentic self?
  2. In what way can you grow toward your authentic self?

Your authentic self is your God-given identity.

Is this a Cross?

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I recently came across a cross. Or what someone told me was a cross.

As far as I know, the artwork was done with the right heart. The inscription said something like, “God told me to leave the cross open.”

What does this picture of an “open cross” mean to you? On a positive side, it could mean that the cross is open to all. And if that means all who want to develop a relationship with God can repent and accept Jesus’s death and resurrection, I’m all for it. God’s invitation is open to all.

Being a mostly organized person I appreciate order. Most of the time my desires aren’t pathological like Monk (the Obsessive Compulsive Detective). I like symmetry. I also like abstract and symbolic art.

But for some reason, I find this depiction of the cross to be… disturbing. It feels like an attempt to be modern gone bad. It crosses over into something new age. It waters down the truth. It makes the work of Jesus look incomplete and… cheap.

In fact, the more I looked at it, the more I felt uneasy. I see a swastika, not a cross. But apparently, the swastika is a cross of sorts — a hooked cross. To some cultures, it has a positive connotation but to others, it is associated with terror (according to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swastika).

So, maybe this is a psychological test — a Rorschach of sorts.

What does my interpretation say about me? I’m more of a purist when it comes to truth. I look for the simple truth and become uneasy with trying to dress it up too much.

I like that God made men and women different with distinct preferences. I see consistency and meaning in gender. The physical appearance of our bodies is representative of the underlying spirit and personality God gives us. For more on gender see https://christianconcepts.com/why-gender-is-binary.

Here’s my attempt at an open cross.

I’m not saying this discussion is a matter of right or wrong. But for my own sense of peace and order, the first cross just… crosses a line for me.

What do you see and how do you feel about the first cross?