Christian Concepts

Bringing your Potential to Light

Counseling

Why There Are So Many Perspectives

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If ten people see a car accident, all ten of them will have a different eye-witness report.

If five people interpret a Bible verse, all five of them will have a different opinion of its meaning.

A husband and a wife will have very different ways to recall the same event.

Why are there so many different perspectives?

Most of the time people interpret life based on their investment. By investment, I mean their convictions—their worldview. A person who has been bitten by a dog will make an investment to avoid dogs. Or maybe they will focus on finding a cure for angry dogs. A parent whose child experiences a serious injury because of a malfunctioning car seat will all of a sudden become interested in how car seats need improving. Or perhaps in an extreme case, they will refuse to let their child ride in a car.

One way to find out what someone really believes is to witness them in a heated argument. The more agitated a person becomes, the more likely they will bypass their filter and speak their raw truth. Their words may or may not be accurate, but how the person feels will come across much clearer.

If (or maybe I should say when) you’re struggling to communicate with another person, the first step should be to gain understanding. Why do they not want a dog? Why do they insist on paying extra for premium safety features? When you understand a person’s investment, you’re well on your way to negotiating a solution to your heated argument.

How Much Pain Are You In?

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When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain required to change, you become sufficiently motivated to grow. If you’re blocking the pain, you’re holding back your growth. If you’re experiencing more pain than you can handle, you’re too isolated from love.

To grow into your identity, you need God. God is love and only He can restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. I believe Peter was speaking from his experience of denying Christ (John 18:17, 25–27) when he wrote this verse:

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

—1 Peter 5:10

  1. Restore means to return to a former condition, place, or position.
  2. Confirm means to make publicly valid.
  3. Strengthen means to support, increase, and reinforce.
  4. Establish means to achieve permanent acceptance.

Notice the progression. Restore and confirm recover what was lost. God wants to heal you. But strengthen and establish go beyond to the unimaginable. When God establishes you, you’re permanently accepted. God has called you to eternal glory. You can’t get more permanently accepted than that.

Peter experienced God restoring, confirming, strengthening, and establishing him (John 21:15-17). You can, too!

Is this a Cross?

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I recently came across a cross. Or what someone told me was a cross.

As far as I know, the artwork was done with the right heart. The inscription said something like, “God told me to leave the cross open.”

What does this picture of an “open cross” mean to you? On a positive side, it could mean that the cross is open to all. And if that means all who want to develop a relationship with God can repent and accept Jesus’s death and resurrection, I’m all for it. God’s invitation is open to all.

Being a mostly organized person I appreciate order. Most of the time my desires aren’t pathological like Monk (the Obsessive Compulsive Detective). I like symmetry. I also like abstract and symbolic art.

But for some reason, I find this depiction of the cross to be… disturbing. It feels like an attempt to be modern gone bad. It crosses over into something new age. It waters down the truth. It makes the work of Jesus look incomplete and… cheap.

In fact, the more I looked at it, the more I felt uneasy. I see a swastika, not a cross. But apparently, the swastika is a cross of sorts — a hooked cross. To some cultures, it has a positive connotation but to others, it is associated with terror (according to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swastika).

So, maybe this is a psychological test — a Rorschach of sorts.

What does my interpretation say about me? I’m more of a purist when it comes to truth. I look for the simple truth and become uneasy with trying to dress it up too much.

I like that God made men and women different with distinct preferences. I see consistency and meaning in gender. The physical appearance of our bodies is representative of the underlying spirit and personality God gives us. For more on gender see http://christianconcepts.com/why-gender-is-binary.

Here’s my attempt at an open cross.

I’m not saying this discussion is a matter of right or wrong. But for my own sense of peace and order, the first cross just… crosses a line for me.

What do you see and how do you feel about the first cross?

Sexual Abuse Devastates Identity

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I wrote an article for Darlene Harris, creator of And He Restoreth My Soul Project. Her goal is to provide healing resources for those caught in the crossfire of abuse.

If you suffer from the effects of abuse or know someone who does, this article explains the emotional and spiritual struggles of abuse and offers steps for recovery. Read Part I: Sexual Abuse Recovery From a Christian Perspective. Part II will be posted on May 14.

Introducing Marriage from Roots to Fruits

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When Failure is Not an Option!

Do any of these describe your experience with marriage?

  • Overwhelmed by perpetual unresolved conflict;
  • Drifting away from your partner;
  • Experiencing the pain of betrayal;
  • Confused by the complexity of marriage;
  • Afraid to walk down the aisle.

Marriage from Roots to Fruits brings much needed hope to couples who are at a point of despair and intense emotional pain. It is filled with practical tools and real life examples to encourage couples along the path of healing and living victoriously. You will learn details of God’s design for a healthy relationship while experiencing how deeply God knows, understands, and cares about the struggle that can come with marriage.

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Marriage: Mission Critical

Marriage is God joining together a man and a woman, loyal to each other for life, who each contribute distinct but equally important abilities towards the completion of a fruitful mission greater than can be accomplished apart.

Unfortunately, a marriage license does not mean we are ready or competent enough to marry. If we continue to think and feel like a single person, we will remain single on the inside even though, outwardly, we are married. How many people have plunged ahead into marriage without a clue? What would happen if no one was required to pass a test for a driver’s license before getting behind the wheel?

Whether you are single, engaged, single-again, or married, this book is for your personal growth. This book is especially for you, if you:

  • Are struggling with how to make your relationship work;
  • Like to understand how things work—how each part functions in relation to the whole;
  • Want to learn the details of God’s design for relationships;
  • Like to reflect in order to gain understanding;
  • Want a full-brain (left and right) learning experience;
  • Appreciate visual diagrams to gain understanding;
  • Want to apply the appropriate principles and ideas to bring about positive change;
  • Want to make the most of your time in counseling.

God created you with a blueprint which establishes not only your identity (His end-in-mind for you as a work of art) but also your growth journey (the step-by-step plans). However, your experiences with the darkness of this world, sin, and the enemy deface the blueprint and leave you disoriented. A marriage at its best provides an encouraging companion who helps you discover your true identity. But without God, marriage becomes a place of fear and self-doubt.

In Marriage from Roots to Fruits, you will learn:

  • How to experience spiritual growth and truly know God;
  • How to live in your true identity and ensure individual growth;
  • How to enjoy marriage growth and true love for your partner.

This book contains unique counseling insights with strong biblical applications. Pastors and counselors can use it to help couples prepare for marriage as well as heal existing marriages. It is also applicable for married couples who feel okay about the relationship they have, but want to have a stronger and deeper relationship with God and each other.

This book is designed with 52 short lessons which include:

  • Concept diagrams: learn the principles visually;
  • For Reflection ideas: think deeper about each lesson;
  • Experiential exercises: know the truths in your heart;
  • Next Steps actions: apply what you learn in your marriage.