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Perspective Matters More Than You Think

Perspective Matters More Than You Think

December 18, 2022 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

Jesus reveals the ultimate perspective on life with His statement “…seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33 ESV). A perspective is one view from one particular person. No one (except Jesus) can see life with absolute clarity. Everyone lives with lies–distortions in the lens of perspective.

Perspective Determines Life Direction

The Christian life is a state of mind–a battle for what is real. People can’t control what happens to them, but they can exercise their perspective like they would a muscle. Then can train to identify and believe what is true over what is false.

You might be thinking ignorance is bliss or what I don’t know can’t hurt me. But those are deceptive statements. What we don’t know has hurt us, is hurting us, and will hurt us. A blind person will have trouble avoiding hazards. When people don’t know they have cancer and believe they are healthy, it is all the more devastating when they must come face to face with the truth.

Your perspective on what life is makes all the difference in how your life will turn out. How would you feel if, while running a race, you find out you’ve been running in the wrong direction for most of it? Make no mistake, life is like a race. There is a finish line and there is only one way to get there. You must run your own race on the path God has set before you. It’s different from anyone else’s path, but God chose your path when He created you as you are.

The battle for seeing reality (what is true from God’s perspective) will never be over in this life. But you can continue to shift the balance from more deceived to more enlightened. In fact, that should be everyone’s primary purpose. But choosing the enlightened path is much harder than it looks.

Perspective Determines Eternity’s Direction

Everyone wants to be enlightened, but the path of wisdom runs in a different direction than the path of comfort in this immediate, material life. I don’t think there is any scripture that can better make this point than the story of Lazarus and the Rich Man from Luke 16.

“But Abraham said to him, ‘Son, remember that during your lifetime you had everything you wanted, and Lazarus had nothing. So now he is here being comforted, and you are in anguish. And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there.’

“Then the rich man said, ‘Please, Father Abraham, at least send him to my father’s home. For I have five brothers, and I want him to warn them so they don’t end up in this place of torment.’ “But Abraham said, ‘Moses and the prophets have warned them. Your brothers can read what they wrote.’

“The rich man replied, ‘No, Father Abraham! But if someone is sent to them from the dead, then they will repent of their sins and turn to God.’ “But Abraham said, ‘If they won’t listen to Moses and the prophets, they won’t be persuaded even if someone rises from the dead.’”

Luke 16:25-31 NLT

Are you able to see the differences in how Lazarus and the Rich Man perceive life both before and after death? If you can see it enough to choose God’s kingdom over your immediate comfort, then there is hope for you! If you can’t see it yet, consider reading Mark 10:17-27 for more inspiration.

The first, and perhaps most important, step is to be able to see clearly. Then we can work on taking the appropriate actions. If we try to act before we understand, we can end up a long way down a path that leads to nowhere.

A comfortable life today provides no clue as to what eternity will be like.

More about gaining awareness of God’s Kingdom.
Image by Kai Markus from Pixabay

Filed Under: God's Kingdom, Eternal Security, Spiritual Formation

How To Live Worry Free

How to Live Worry Free

November 10, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 4 minutes

Worry is an automatic behavior for many people. It’s an attempt to control something that cannot be controlled. Therefore, the more you worry, the more frustrated you’ll become.

There is plenty in life that happens against our wills, so there is plenty of opportunity to worry. In our wisdom, we don’t know what to try to prevent and what to allow. But God has perfect wisdom.

If worry is a behavior then it is also a choice. When a person is accustomed to worrying it might feel involuntary. That can happen when the belief system that allows worry is buried out of awareness.

Anxious worrying involves fear. What is worrying you? Is it more physical like health (fear of suffering) or finances (fear of powerlessness)? Maybe it is more personal like your worth (fear of rejection). Whatever it is, the underlying belief system has something to do with trust.

Ridding yourself of worry requires trusting God with the parts of life out of your control. The more you focus (without considering God) on what you can’t control, the more anxious you’ll become. The more you live in fear, the more discouraged you’ll become.

Encouragement is the Antidote to Worry

Anxious fear brings depression,
but a life-giving word of encouragement
can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.

Proverbs 12:25 TPT

The only way to live worry-free is to give up your attempts to control the outcomes of your life. This doesn’t mean giving up on trying to make a positive difference in this life. You can love God with everything you have, but still accept that this life rarely goes exactly how you want it to.

There’s always a greater reality beyond what you see immediately in front of you. Encouraging words never need to be empty promises. Whatever is encouraging must be based on a promise of God. Evil may appear to be winning during this life. Evil might look like it has defeated good, but God always has the final word. His voice brings victory.

The horse is made ready for the day of battle,
    but victory rests with the Lord.

Proverbs 21:31 NIV

Maybe you are caught up in fear. Maybe you aren’t allowing a life-giving word of encouragement to reach your heart. Maybe then you are putting too much hope into your own efforts. We can (and should) prepare for battle, but it is only because of God that we can win.

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:56-57 NIV

Living intentionally by telling God you want to be more hopeful. Agree that you want to open your heart to encouragement. Imagine God encouraging you. Which of the following would be most life-giving to you?

  • You are unconditionally loved.
  • You are safe and secure.
  • You are wanted in a relationship with me.
  • You are significant and valued.
  • You have a place in my kingdom-house.

Fortunately for us believers, all of the above are true. Then why don’t they often feel true?

Discouraging Wounds are Real, But God’s Encouraging Words are More Real

None of those statements require that your circumstances are always pleasant or desirable. They are spiritual truths more than they are facts fulfilled by this current life. Spiritual truths last forever; circumstances are temporary. Don’t confuse the two. When you believe your circumstances are forever and the truth is temporary, you will understandably be afraid. So if you’re struggling, ask yourself which way you’re believing.

Spiritual truths remain true, even when they don’t feel true. Who you are (all the good that God made you to be) remains true, even when you don’t feel good about yourself.

When terrible, painful things happen, we are supposed to feel sad, but not discouraged forever. If you lose a loved one, develop a serious medical condition, or face humiliating rejection, you will feel it, and you should.

No doubt that life circumstances can be obstacles to faith. No doubt there is plenty to be sad about. Just not sad forever. The reality of who God is brings joy to the heart.

Wounds are real, but what God has to say counts infinitely more. Open your heart to life-giving encouragement.

For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.

1 John 5:4 NLT

Read more about trusting God.
Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay
Last updated 2022/11/06

Filed Under: Self-Image, Identity, Self-Care, Spiritual Formation Tagged With: faith, fear

Are You Super Needy Or Not Needy Enough?

Are You Super Needy Or Not Needy Enough?

August 9, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 4 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

Hyper-focusing on problems (being too needy) can be detrimental. It can generate mistrust and anxiety. But denial (not being needy enough) is deadly. If you don’t know that you are sick or you won’t face that you are sick, you won’t seek the remedy you need.

How far should you go to question your emotional and spiritual health? If you don’t go far enough, you’re still in denial. If you go too far, you stop trusting God will take care of you.

It’s even possible to make a serious attempt to put off denial but still remain in denial. What you don’t know, you don’t know. The problem with these two unhealthy extremes is they bypass trusting God. God wants you to skip both worry and denial.

What is Too Needy?

Being too needy means you express more need than is healthy. This is another way of saying that you lack the security to trust. The extra expression manifests as pure worry. Worry is a too-activated conscience.

You could constantly worry about whether you’re missing something. For example, maybe you still have an unconfessed sin that you need to find. You feel like you need more help than even Jesus can provide.

What is Not Needy Enough?

When you are not needy, you fail to register your needs. This is another way of saying that you’ve given up hope that your needs will be met. You might feel numb or nothing at all. Denial is a too-under-activated conscience.

You could completely deny that you have any problems. For example, you’re unwilling to consider you need help. Everything is fine. You don’t need any help.

What is the Right Amount of Being Needy?

Neediness is not the problem. God designed us to be needy. You can be super needy and healthy at the same time. What you do with your emotional longings makes all the difference.

To counteract the extremes you need two healthy spiritual attitudes:

  1. “Jesus is sufficient help.” Jesus has the power to fully address whatever problems you face. This belief will counter an anxious response.
  2. “I need help.” Left to yourself, you realize you wouldn’t make it very far. This belief will counter denial.

Scripture speaks on both of these attitudes:

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

Psalm 46:1 NLT

When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

Mark 2:17 NLT

You can admit you need help, without becoming helpless. You can be in need, but not hopeless. This is a posture of waiting expectantly.

Ask God to help you see where you are sick. Unless you see, you won’t be in a position to receive God’s healing and even His blessings. Try a prayer based on Matthew 11:25 like this:

God, help me to understand my deepest needs. You keep the secrets of your kingdom hidden from the prideful but reveal them to children. Open my eyes to the wonder of who you are and who I am.

At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike.

Matthew 11:25 NLT

To receive the benefits of this prayer, see yourself as needy enough to receive God’s blessings, but not so needy that you believe God won’t bother to answer your cry for help.

More help for feeling rejected.
Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay
Last updated 2022/10/30

Filed Under: Core Longings, Healing, Self-Care Tagged With: desire

Move Beyond Depression Guaranteed

Move Beyond Depression Guaranteed

October 23, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

The recipe for deep depression is a combination of pain and hopelessness. Without pain, hopelessness has no teeth. Suffering becomes avoidable. With hope, pain can be endured. Here also suffering becomes avoidable. A person can’t be joyful without hope.

Isolation Increases Depression

David describes the potential for his depression as involving not hearing from God. In Psalm 28, he uses “pit” as a place of utter despair.

To you, O Lord, I call;
    my rock, be not deaf to me,
lest, if you be silent to me,
    I become like those who go down to the pit.

Psalm 28:1 ESV

The bottom of a pit is a lonely place. It is easy to feel forgotten. Despair increases when circumstances are hopeless. It’s easy to self-harm when discouragement dominates. In this context, self-harm means believing increasingly negative thoughts such as:

  • I’ll never get out of this (pit).
  • I’m not worth saving.
  • God has me here for a reason and that reason is He is against me.
  • God has abandoned me.
  • I’m a terrible person.

This kind of thinking only makes a bad situation (potentially avoidable) worse (appearing unavoidable).

Sometimes God will improve circumstances relatively quickly. Maybe you lose your job, but find one within a couple of weeks. Perhaps you find yourself in and out of trouble before you have time to worry. God is gracious and merciful. He preserves and protects those He loves from danger–both deserved and undeserved consequences.

Such mercy is normal in the sense that God prevents us from receiving what we deserve. He is constantly doing this. Jesus is never not interceding on our behalf before God. If He wasn’t, every moment of our lives would be full of despair. Yet, in another sense, life can be full of heartache. Everyone is suffering on some level.

Some suffering is avoidable while another suffering is unavoidable. Suffering has a purpose; depression is one response to it, but there is another.

Connection Reverses Depression

If depression intensifies with pain and despair, then the absence of pain and the presence of hope would certainly alleviate sadness. How do we get from one to the other? How can someone climb out of a pit? Sometimes God might teleport you to the surface, but quite often He rather chooses a more organic process: grief.

Having someone hear your cry is the path out of depression.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
    out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
    and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3 ESV

And, what is grief, but crying out to someone who will listen? Grief is an expression of pain in the midst of hope. The way out is rarely painless, but it must be full of hope. Without hope, an attempt to grieve will only dig the pit of despair deeper. Sadness begets more sadness. That’s why sometimes focusing on the positives helps. While it can help, it doesn’t fully address the real problem of suffering.

Grief is more a struggle than it is suffering. It’s a struggle forward or up out of avoidable suffering. When you declare your circumstances as unacceptable, you leave no room for patiently waiting on the Lord. Grieving reorients your perspective until you find acceptance.

When you are grieving, you are moving up out of the pit. Your direction is toward God, toward joy. When you are despairing, you are moving deeper down in the pit. Your direction is away from the light and toward the darkness.

Your direction is more important than your exact location especially when you know you have God’s ear. The next time you are depressed, express your suffering to God and He will lift you out of the pit. If you need help with this, consider professional Christian counseling.

Read more about healthy grieving.
Image by 173131 from Pixabay

Filed Under: Healing, Emotional Honesty, Spiritual Formation

Is Emotion an Obstacle or a Bridge?

Is Emotion an Obstacle or a Bridge?

March 23, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

Does emotion hinder or does it help? To many people, emotion is a pointless burden. It seems to linger purposelessly forever like a plastic bottle in a landfill.

Obstacles impede progress. You must expend more effort to move beyond the obstacles in your path. Some obstacles cannot be removed by your effort alone.

Bridges on the other hand smooth the journey. Someone already cleared the path which makes your end goal possible and maybe easier. Although, some bridges are challenging to cross. The journey is strenuous, not because of the path, but because of what must be left behind.

Whether the emotion is a positive experience for you or a negative one, depends on your perspective. Rocks in your pack can be considered an affliction, but they could also be a blessing in disguise–they can help you grow stronger so you can move obstacles out of your way. What seems like an obstacle one day, might eventually come to be seen as a benefit.

Emotion is Like an Obstacle

Emotion is never bad; it’s only the messenger. We’re not supposed to shoot the messenger. But what is a person to do when the message is overwhelmingly negative? When emotion is immobilizing, it acts like an obstacle to progress. But it really is only a pivot point loaded with potential.

A person can lean into the negative message and become all the more discouraged. A person can also block out the message. Rough, calloused hands and fingertips are a sign of hard work. Your body forms a protective layer while you get work done.

In an emotionally risky environment, it’s natural to develop an insulative layer to protect your heart. Some negative environments you can avoid completely. And you should. But in other environments, you can’t.

Everyone is going to have some emotional callousness. Adam and Eve became overly defensive after the fall. Over-protection is a tendency we all have to work at overcoming.

You have an automatic defense system that sometimes malfunctions.

Sometimes your defensive system protects you so well that you don’t even know what it’s protecting. I’m lost; I don’t know who I am. At other times, you’re surprisingly vulnerable. Why am I flooded with emotion now?

Emotion is Like a Bridge

Because God exists, hope exists. No circumstance can determine the final outcome of your life. Because of God, emotion, even discouragement, can be productive.

Everything has a purpose–even negative feelings. You can’t avoid all risky environments because there’s no heaven on earth. So the best anyone can do is commit to crossing the emotional bridge.

Emotion can always become a bridge to a better place. That bridge can look like an obstacle, at first glance. Maybe you aren’t ready to leave behind what is comfortable, whether that be numbness or negativity. Maybe you aren’t ready to find out who you are deep down.

Crossing the bridge means embarking on a journey to becoming alive.

The obstacle to a better future is refusing to leave behind the past. You can only escape past and present pain by crossing the bridge of emotion. As you feel what you’ve experienced, it will carry you forward.

God didn’t make us to journey alone. We need traveling companions to help ease the pain of seeking true living that God has planned for us. Avoiding future pain is wise… unless that pain is needed to make you into a better person. Or perhaps the better way to put that is becoming a better person always involved confronting your pain.

If you’d like to better understand how difficult emotions can be blessings, try the book Hind’s Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.

Read about choosing healing instead of coping.
Image by Larisa Koshkina from Pixabay
Last Updated 2022/10/16

Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, God's Kingdom, Healing Tagged With: lost, numb, overwhelmed, panic, purpose, suffering

Coping Is Temporary But Healing Is Forever

Coping Is Temporary But Healing Is Forever

May 30, 2021 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

Many people look for ways to cope with the pain they encounter. Coping is a good option in the short term but it’s a horrible option long term.

Coping Doesn’t Fix The Problem

Using coping skills is a good idea. Coping allows you to get through the day without becoming overwhelmed by the sensation of pain. But relying on coping as the solution is a mistake that only creates a bigger problem.

Coping numbs your pain. When you don’t feel your pain, you will feel relieved and maybe even hopeful. But coping, without a long-term solution, only produces a false sense of hope.

The world doesn’t have a solution to pain and suffering. Coping is its best attempt. Have you bought into its subtle message? The world tells us to focus on the pleasure we can experience today. Be greedy. As long as you feel good today, you don’t have to worry about tomorrow. You can’t do any better than maximizing your happiness each day.

But what if there is something even better than happiness that you’ll never experience if you follow the world’s advice?

Jesus said to not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:25-34). So a worry-free life is the right approach. However, Jesus’ advice is radically different than the world’s. The reason believers shouldn’t worry is exactly the opposite of non-believers. God guarantees that believers have a hopeful future and non-believers have a hopeless future.

The real problem is that everybody is going to die physically and in the meantime, life can be confusing and gut-wrenchingly painful. Even coping can’t shut out this reality completely.

A hopeless future is unbearable, so it makes some sense to avoid its pain. If you’re not going to choose to follow Jesus, then coping is your next best option. But it’s not a solution and doesn’t even come close to what God offers.

Choose Healing Over Coping Whenever Possible

Everything you pursue, except eternal life through Jesus Christ, will leave you thirsty again. When you drink a glass of water, it only temporarily relieves your thirst. You will need more soon enough. But eternal life results from an endless supply of spiritual nourishment.

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

John 4:13-14 NLT

For Jesus’s truth to work for you, you need to be willing to give up feeling good all the time. If you’re feeling good while preoccupied with the pleasures of this life, you probably won’t develop a craving for Jesus water.

For those who follow Jesus, our best option is to face the pain now. We can face the pain because it grows our faith and allows healing. Facing the pain drives us to drink the water Jesus promises will satisfy us.

The bubbling spring is the Holy Spirit. The Spirit guides believers into all truth (John 16:13). The first step to receiving healing is to receive the truth.

Imagine you are walking in the wilderness. You are tired and hungry. You have a long way to go until you reach home. How do you feel?

How much difference would it make in your mood if you knew you were going to make it home sometime in the near future? In real life, the Holy Spirit is the one who whispers, “Keep going. You’re going to make it. Don’t give up!” Are you willing to receive this truth? If you can, the journey becomes easier mentally, even when it doesn’t become any easier physically.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-4 NLT

Read more about how people use addictions to cope.
Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

Filed Under: Self-Care, Eternal Security, God's Kingdom, Healing, Identity Tagged With: suffering

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