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Emotional Honesty

Living with Eternal Purpose

Living With Eternal Purpose: No Guts No Glory

October 4, 2019 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

Do you ever feel like just being yourself is too risky? The cost of authenticity might be rejection, but the rewards lead to a life full of purpose. When you embrace who God created you to be, challenges will come—but so will deep joy and meaning. When we live in alignment with God’s design, we experience a glimpse of heaven—a foretaste of the eternal—shaping our journey with divine purpose.

Yet, too often fear holds us back. We hesitate to be vulnerable, to speak honestly, to pursue what truly matters. Why? Because rejection and failure seem unbearable. But what if we could shift our focus, seeing beyond temporary discomfort to the eternal reality that awaits us? Living with this perspective changes everything.

In another post, I wrote about the benefits of imagining what heaven will be like. I asked, “How would seeing the most optimistic vision impact how you live today?” One person’s response perfectly captures the shift from despair to hope that I aimed for. He gave me permission to share his answer:

I enjoyed the post you wrote on Heaven. Thanks for posing the question. It gave me a chance to think about what the rest of my life could look like and how it could begin to move in that direction even now. Knowing what heaven is like and who I am as God’s finished product would change how I live the rest of my days on earth.

During a recent checkup, my doctor said, “You look pretty good for someone who almost died a year ago.” Coming face-to-face with death has me thinking more about how I want to be remembered.

If I knew what God plans for me in heaven, I could risk being that person more on earth, no matter what others thought of me, because I would know it pleased God. I should be doing that anyway, but I struggle to be the best version of me. I want to:

  • be more unselfish, putting others’ needs before my own.
  • be more transparent about my feelings and not be concerned about how that would look to others.
  • speak what is in my heart; I wouldn’t be unkind, but I would be free to disagree with others and risk being rejected and isolated from others.
  • be more vulnerable to love others and help them, no matter what it costs me emotionally or materially.
  • be more humble, living out my purpose of bringing glory to God and doing things that have eternal value, not just what has meaning for my time on earth.

Acting in this way would bring more meaning to my remaining time here, leave an eternal mark, and make something in my life worth remembering to those I leave behind.

Imagining heaven’s best helps me trust God more (I can see why He led me through what He did) and value what He values. I want to see with a better perspective what is important in this life, and what matters so little because it won’t be coming with me into heaven.

This perspective has the power to transform how we live. What if, instead of fearing failure or rejection, we boldly stepped into the identity God designed for us?

How to Step Boldly into Purpose—Without Regrets

It’s easy to get stuck in hesitation, waiting for the “right time” to start living boldly. But if you knew heaven was ahead, what would you risk today to embrace the person God designed you to be?

  • Maybe you need counseling to heal from past wounds that keep you from fully stepping into your purpose.
  • Maybe it’s time to invest in a book that guides you toward deeper faith and self-awareness.
  • Maybe you need to start small, choosing one area of your life to surrender fear and embrace authenticity.

The challenge is real, the risk feels great—but the reward is eternal.

How about you? What will your life look like if you live with no regrets? No guts, no glory. When you risk being who God made you to be, God is glorified.

And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

Romans 8:17 NLT

Image by Cindy Lever from Pixabay
Last Updated 20250420

Filed Under: Identity, Emotional Honesty, God's Kingdom, Self-Image Tagged With: desire, purpose

God Will Deliver You From Failure

God Will Deliver You From Failure

August 2, 2020 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

Failure would be a death sentence if it were not for God’s mercy. Many people struggle with believing that their failure leaves a fatal mark that limits their potential. If you think you’ve failed, you might believe something like:

  • I’ll always mess up God’s plans.
  • There’s no hope for me now.
  • I’ll wear this scar for the rest of my life.
  • That was my last chance.
  • God will never forgive me.
  • My best will never be good enough.
  • God is going to send me to hell.
  • I’ll never recover from this.
  • There’s no use trying again.

For Christians to believe any of these statements, they must be deceived. Every one of them has something false about it. What Jesus has done for believers removes the permanence of these statements and breathes hope into the hopeless, life into the lifeless.

Failure From the World’s Perspective

A worldly definition of failure distorts God by emphasizing two extreme responses. People are forever condemned or always excused without consequence. These miss God’s heart because they throw out His mercy or justice.

Without God’s mercy, we would all be perpetually caught in shame. The unbearable feelings of self-condemnation and self-loathing weigh heavily without any way of escape. People attempt to cope by utilizing perfectionism or apathy to avoid the feelings of falling short.

Without God’s justice, we can become lulled into a false sense of security. The prideful presumption that there will never be a reckoning for our attitudes and choices might soothe the conscience today but does nothing to prevent the condemnation tomorrow. People attempt to cope by utilizing relativism to discount the seriousness of God’s absolute standards.

    Sin is probably the best definition of failure. It completely misses what God wants for us. Without God, we are defective because of sin. However, God, because of His love, has stripped sin of its power and permanent consequences. So it does not have a significant lasting effect for believers.

    Failure From God’s Perspective

    Let’s reconsider the definition of failure, but include God this time. A worst-case definition of failure considers it to be a temporary setback. That’s because God works for our ultimate good. We are on the same side.

    Failure implies finality. But because God is an eternal being, endings do not exist for Him. Any moment in time is not the final word on your situation.

    Failure implies hopelessness. But God is an endless supply of hope. Nothing can defeat God. Nothing can defeat God’s plans. Nothing can defeat God’s people.

    Failure implies permanent loss. But God restores and heals, often while we are yet in this life. That’s possible because knowing Him means knowing boundless hope.

    Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

    Lamentations 3:21-23

    We can always learn from our experiences, even if they seem like abysmal failures. God is ready to give us another chance. We can start again in a stronger position.

    I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

    Psalm 34:4-7 NIV

    So you can see that you will have trouble, but God will deliver you. He will deliver you from evil. He looks beyond failure to your eternal potential in Jesus Christ. For other verses that support God’s grace and hope, see Isaiah 40:31, Romans 5:5, Psalm 33:18, and Jeremiah 29:11.

    May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

    Romans 15:13 NIV

    Learn more about Shame.
    Image by mojo49 from Pixabay
    Last updated 2025/02/02

    Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Identity, Self-Image Tagged With: self-worth, shame

    Remember Your Past For A Healthy Present

    Remember Your Past For A Healthy Present

    May 24, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

    Reading time: 3 minutes

    How does remembering your past help you today? Think of re-membering as bringing scattered parts of your life together. It’s like gathering the parts of a jigsaw puzzle and assembling them where they belong.

    God wants you to see the whole picture of who you are. Have you ever worked on a puzzle only to get to the end and realize some pieces are missing? It’s frustrating because it feels so incomplete.

    I’m fascinated by my past. I’m not thinking of historical facts. I mean my psychological and emotional journey. Memories are important because they are the key to setting a person free from being trapped in the past.

    You can’t change what has happened to you but you can change its meaning. You decided how much a particular memory has the power to define who you are. They answer the question: How did I get to where I am today?

    How you first experience something has long-lasting implications. Your journey is, in many ways, a series of first-time experiences. To put the pieces of your life together, you must revisit your first-time experiences to create follow-on experiences. Healing can be both strengthening the positive memories and weakening the negative ones.

    Questions to Help You Remember

    Your relationship with your childhood memories can tell you a lot about yourself. Here are some questions you can use to explore your emotional health:

    • How do you feel about your childhood?
    • Do you feel like you are still a child?
    • Do you feel like you are stuck in your childhood?
    • Do you feel extremely distant from childhood, almost like it was another lifetime?
    • Does childhood feel real to you or more like a fantasy?
    • Does childhood seem unimportant or highly relevant to you?
    • Do you remember a lot or a little?
    • How much was childhood the same or different every day?
    • What positive memories come to mind?
    • What negative memories come to mind?

    Did you skim through these questions or pause on each one and give a real, in-depth answer? Are you willing to embrace your childhood or do you think you’d be happier if you never thought about it again?

    Even if you considered only one of the questions, you’ve got a taste of what it’s like to move toward emotional health. You dipped your toe in the water. If you considered more than one, you might feel overwhelmed as you swim in a pool of emotional memories.

    As I said, memories are fascinating. They aren’t part of who you are. Yet, in another way, they are part of you. You’re not five years old anymore. But you might feel five years old sometimes.

    Remember the Past, Compare it with the Present, and Plan the Future

    Here are a few more questions for you to consider: In what ways do you feel the same, today, as you did when you were a young child? In what ways are you the same? In what ways are you different?

    Life can lead you away from being in touch with who you are. The pressures, demands, and trauma open a chasm between your performance and who you are. It’s possible to become so familiar with present-day performance (life responsibilities) that you forget what it’s like to enjoy life on your terms.

    Here are three more questions that should help you “pull yourself together.” What day would you most like to relive? What makes life worth living today? Now, what new day do you imagine you would like to live in the near future?

    In answering all these questions, look for two things. First, look for any infections: emotional wounds that haven’t fully healed. Second, look for peak experiences: emotional highs that give you energy.

    If you’d like more practice at developing follow-on experiences, then you should try a book from my Journal Your Way series.

    More about the benefits of exploring your past.
    Image by Nato Pereira from Pixabay
    Last updated 2022/12/11

    Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Abuse and Neglect, Boundaries, Healing, Identity, Self-Care, Self-Image Tagged With: self-worth, shame

    Should Feelings Be Trusted Or Discounted?

    Should Feelings Be Trusted Or Discounted?

    August 31, 2018 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

    Reading time: 4 minutes

    Feelings are God-given and helpful. They should always be considered and used to make decisions. But the way they are used makes all the difference. Feelings should always be acted upon, but discernment is necessary to know how to act. Do not ignore feelings, but do not consider them to have absolute authority either.

    Impulsivity and Feelings Do Not Mix Well

    One way to view feelings is as an impulse. An impulse is feedback gained over a very short period. Therefore, it can be highly unreliable. Doing something on impulse means taking action without first reflecting on its consequences. The result will be extremely variable. They could be disastrous, wonderful, or anywhere in between.

    Impulse shopping often leads to buyer’s remorse. We’ve all been there. And there is a place and time to act impulsively–within predetermined limits, acting impulsively is how we have fun. It’s the lack of limitation that creates significant problems.

    Imagine feeling incredibly sad, not knowing why, and acting in the first way that comes to mind. Our first instinct will be to act according to our conditioned response (habits). Unfortunately, that action is usually destructive rather than constructive. The result might mean feeling good at first but suffering even more later because of it.

    Discernment and Feelings Are a Perfect Match

    When should you trust your feelings? When should you not? God gave us feelings for a reason. But it’s up to us to learn how to use them for gain rather than loss.

    To use a feeling for good, the first step is to identify what the feeling means. What is the feeling communicating about your condition? For example, if you are feeling sad, stop and figure out why before you act. There can be numerous reasons why you feel sad, each one having its optimal response.

    Consider the following reasons and how your optimal response might be different for each one:

    • A loved one recently died.
    • You are lonely.
    • You recently went through a divorce.
    • Your favorite food is no longer being sold.
    • You are experiencing a hormonal imbalance.
    • You didn’t get enough sleep.
    • You lost a game, event, or race you expected to win.

    Much better than returning to your dysfunctional coping of over-eating, you can use discernment to determine the root cause of your sadness.

    Feelings Help People Make Better Decisions

    It’s possible to experience negative feelings and use them to alter your direction in life. Think of your feelings like your ability to taste or smell. You don’t continue eating if the food tastes bad. But you can be glad you can taste spoiled food and stop eating.

    Just because you feel like you want to steal something, doesn’t mean you should. But the urge to steal something should help you learn what you need emotionally. Perhaps you need to ask God for what you need more often.

    Always consider how there could be a legitimate way to satisfy your feelings. You might feel hungry for junk food, but how about eating healthy food to satisfy your hunger instead?

    Or, you might have a goal to lose weight to be healthy. Without a healthy option, the healthiest thing to do might be to not eat. You’ll feel unsatisfied, but you have a higher purpose in mind: enjoying being in shape.

    You might feel angry like you want to get revenge. If you follow through with revenge, you’ll likely only create more problems for yourself and harm others. But feeling angry tells you that some changes are needed. You could recall the saying: fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

    Emotions are an excellent catalyst for learning life lessons. Sometimes this means learning the truth, but at other times this means unlearning what is false.

    Emotions are indicators that require interpretation. They aren’t a green light to act inappropriately. If you continue to act spontaneously on your feelings, then you’ll eventually find yourself someplace you’d rather not be. Wouldn’t it be helpful if we could taste the regret before we act?

    When you have to make a decision that requires discernment (a decision that isn’t clearly right or wrong), your feelings can act more like faith, intuition, or gut instinct. Thank you God for this gift of discernment. Help us all to grow in wisdom by your Spirit.

    Learn about loneliness.
    Image by Pawel Kozera from Pixabay
    Last updated August 4, 2024.

    Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Core Longings

    Overcome When You Feel Like Giving Up

    Overcome When You Feel Like Giving Up

    September 7, 2020 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

    Reading time: 4 minutes

    Life has a way of wearing you down so much that you stop trusting God. What are some reasons you feel like giving up? Do they include any of the following?

    • Have you experienced too many failures or rejections?
    • Do you feel worth less than others?
    • Do you feel not needed or not wanted?
    • Do you feel tired, lost, or confused?
    • Does your existence seem pointless?

    You might not think of yourself as depressed, but if you answered yes to any of those questions, then you are experiencing some form of discouragement. When your burden becomes too great, you’ll naturally consider giving up. Feeling like you want to give up should throw a red flag for you.

    Feeling Like Giving Up Comes From a Desire to be Self-Sufficient

    Unfortunately, you will encounter discouraging people and circumstances. Sometimes you can make better choices to prevent bad things from happening. Other times, there isn’t anything you could have done differently. Either way, when you continue to suffer long after a difficult experience, there’s a reason.

    What keeps you weighed down and prevents you from moving forward? Do any of these sound like you?

    • You’re trying to do it all yourself.
    • You believe God doesn’t care or He is somehow against you.
    • You think being humble means you should have low self-worth.
    • You think you’ve committed the unpardonable sin and God is condemning you to hell.
    • You stopped trusting God because of a tragedy.

    God says there is a different way than giving up.

    Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me.

    Matthew 11:28-29 TPT

    Feeling Like Giving Up Comes From a Faulty Foundation

    It’s possible to have God in your life but still feel like giving up. Unfortunately, you can become committed to a life strategy that doesn’t work. If so, it’s either based on a lie or it’s not the right approach for you. A faulty strategy is based on lies.

    “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

    Matthew 7:24-27 ESV

    Rebuild Your Foundation When You Feel Like Giving Up

    What is your life based on? Do you know why you are doing what you’re doing? Do you have at least one primary, life-giving motivation? If you don’t, you’ll find no gas in your tank to draw on when the going gets tough. A life founded on the rock looks like the following:

    • You have a clear purpose and act on it consistently.
    • You ask God to help you advance His kingdom.
    • You ask God to purify your motives.
    • You trust God to multiply your efforts.
    • You surrender the outcome to God.

    You can overcome when you feel like giving up when you understand God is responsible for the results (the fruit). God causes all things to grow. You only need to be faithful to the resources God has given you. Only God has the power to make good things happen, but your contribution is important.

    I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

    1 Corinthians 3:6-9 NIV

    It’s natural (in our sin) to want to be able to control the outcomes in life, but only God is in control. Instead of giving up on God, give up your desire to be self-sufficient. If you can see yourself as partnering with God, then you’ll be more willing to let God help you align your desires to His desires.

    Don’t give up. Don’t lose sight of who God is and who He made you to be. God loves you and has a plan for your life. You can find your purpose, live your purpose, and enjoy your life.

    Learn more about why you should never give up.
    Photo From: https://www.si.edu/object/signal-flag-pole:nmaahc_2017.111.19
    Last Updated 2023/12/24

    Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Identity, Self-Image Tagged With: purpose, self-worth

    Earnest Rest Reveals God's Favor

    Earnest Rest Reveals God’s Favor

    July 13, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

    Reading time: 3 minutes

    Rest makes it possible to perform at your highest level. You probably do your best work when you are relaxed and “in the zone.” Have you experienced this kind of rest? Would you like to learn to enter into the rest God intends for you?

    Find Rest By Finding Your Sweet Spot

    God made you with an identity which is the place of optimal functioning. This sweet spot is where the least amount of effort still produces the maximum output. Hitting your sweet spot is an honorable goal. God intends for you to feel the pleasure of acting from the center of who you are. If you want to know God’s favor, first you must be free to be yourself.

    Sometimes the sweet spot is elusive because of sin and the curse. They cloud and distort who you are. Sometimes you have to do what you don’t particularly want to do. Overcoming the curse requires hard work. The goal isn’t to eliminate your effort, but instead to optimize your effort. You put in your effort while relying on God to carry what you were never meant to carry.

    Find Rest By Compartmentalizing Obligation

    Do you know what it feels like to pursue what you want instead of what you must (because of obligation or responsibility)? God created the sabbath so you can experience unpressured living at least one day out of seven. The lift you gain from one day of rest can carry into the other six days.

    Who are you when you’re under obligation? How do you fill your day to meet the demands of life? Don’t miss this: You’re probably not optimally in touch with your true identity while under obligation. That’s because obligation implies some amount of stress and that changes everything.

    Who are you when you’re not under any obligation? Then, how do you live? This is what you can accomplish during productive play. Restful living means entering into a natural high by functioning at the level of God’s highest purposes for you. This is true recreation — an effort that recovers more energy than it spends.

    Find Rest By Playing

    Fulfilling obligations is necessary. But playing is as important as working. What do you think of when you think of playing? Productive play does not involve low-functioning activities that allow passive living. Your brain can be fully engaged and relaxed during play.

    Whatever you do should have a purpose. Some activities can seem like they have no eternal significance, but if they rejuvenate you, they have value. For example, consider watching a movie. What value do you gain from it? Does it uplift or strengthen you? Does it help you to better understand life? Or does it drain you or lead you into sin?

    To play is to relax. Some people can’t stop working. Their play is only work in disguise. When you practice relaxing, it will help you when you are under the stress of responsibility. You’ll be able to work more efficiently when you are under stress.

    Restful living will be different for each person. What activities bring you more energy as you participate in them? In the movie, Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell says, “When I run, I feel His pleasure.” Even though he’s exerting himself completely he has entered God’s rest. He’s burdened with running, but not burdened with debilitating anxieties.

    When God’s power is available genuine play is possible. That’s because He does the heavy lifting. Jesus said:

    Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

    Matthew 11:28-30

    Have you ever felt God’s pleasure? You enter God’s rest and He is right there with you expressing His excitement for who you are. God is your cheerleader. Allow His cheers to propel you forward.

    Learn more about play.
    Image by skeeze from Pixabay
    Last Updated 2023/10/15

    Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, Core Longings, Emotional Honesty, Identity, Self-Care Tagged With: desire, rest

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