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Rejection Is Like A Painful Death

Rejection Is Like A Painful Death

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Reading time: 4 minutes

What has been your experience with rejection? I see it as the most painful experience. But God has overcome it with the power of His acceptance.

I recently watched the movie, Saving Private Ryan, again. In one scene a German and American soldier are wrestling for survival. The American pulls out a knife, but the German manages to use the knife against him. The American pushes against the German’s arm to prevent the knife from cutting into his chest, but slowly the knife moves deeper until the American dies.

In managing pain, it’s usually easier to face and get it over with quickly. A slow and painful death is bad enough. To face the humiliation of defeat and also endure excruciating torment is the worst. But isn’t this is exactly what Jesus faced on the cross? He was without personal guilt, but in carrying the weight of sin, He must have experienced the shame of our guilt.

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

1 Peter 2:24 NIV

To die at the hands of another person is a physical rejection. To wither away because of another person’s critical words is an emotional rejection.

Rejection Is a Lie From the Devil

The devil wants you to feel cut off from God. He doesn’t have the ability to sever your connection with God. The best he can do is deceive you into believing God has rejected you.

When you experience emotional rejection, there is nothing true about it. It’s not valid. If you struggle with self-doubt, you become susceptible to believing the lie is valid. You might feel horrible as if it were true. This happens when you focus on the negatives rather than on God. It often leads to God-doubt such as, “God doesn’t love me” or “I’m too defective for God to love me.”

Jesus’s sacrifice saves you from destruction. He rescued you from the darkness–including its lies and shame.

For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.

Colossians 1:13-14 NLT

Because of this, no matter what you’ve done, you do not have to endure any shameful rejection. Don’t do that to yourself. You can graciously accept God’s discipline but you can reject the devil’s rejection.

God Accepts You as a Friend

Do you realize that God is for you? Because of Jesus’s death, you are blameless and without a single fault.

This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News.

Colossians 1:21-23 NLT

Because God has removed your sin and guilt, you have His complete acceptance. Others may reject you, but God will not reject you any longer. God wants you to cling to this truth. You are a member of His family. You are God’s friend.

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15:15 ESV

To fully heal from rejection, you must not avoid it. Only by feeling it can you realize how false it is. The process involves staring down the lie until it is no more. Facing the lie with the truth weakens it. Even though it can be absurdly painful, the lie will die, leaving you with freedom because of Christ.

Take some time to remember when you have felt most rejected. Allow the truth of God’s acceptance to wash away the lie.

Read more about overcoming discouragement.
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Overcome The Lies You Believe

Overcome The Lies You Believe

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Whether you realize it or not, you believe some lies about yourself. No one has perfect self-worth.

Where do these lies come from? They are like seeds sown for destruction. The more they take root in your heart, the more life will be a struggle for you. Just like if you want a fruitful garden, you must pull the weeds in your heart.

Experiences Promote Truth and Lies

Every life event you experience communicates some degree of truth and some degree of falsehood. For example, any interaction you have with Jesus or the Bible will always communicate 100% truth. And any interaction you have with the devil will always communicate 100% lies. When Jesus spoke to non-believers, He addressed them as “children of the devil.”

For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.

John 8:44 NLT

If everything ever spoken was always all truth or all lies, it would be easier to sort out fact from fiction. But people speak with words and actions that fall somewhere between 0 and 100% truth. So it falls to the recipients to sort through all their experiences to find and savor the truth and discard the rest.

Interpretations Promote Truth and Lies

Discerning between truth and falsehood is an invaluable skill. Unfortunately, it is not foolproof. It’s possible to interpret a true experience as false or a false experience as true. This sets up four possible outcomes for every experience:

  1. You believe the lie: the devil intends to harm you by being deceitful and you take it as if it were truth.
  2. You disbelieve the lie: you see through the devil’s deceit, and refute it for the lie that it is.
  3. You believe the truth: you experience love, accept it, and allow it to strengthen your self-worth.
  4. You disbelieve the truth: you doubt your positive experience, reject it, and prefer your low self-esteem.

Trusting Everyone Isn’t the Answer

Overly trusting, optimistic, or gullible people lean toward believing everything. These verses show that we shouldn’t trust everyone.

Don’t be stupid
    and believe all you hear;
    be smart and know
    where you are headed.

Proverbs 14:15 CEV

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8 ESV

Mistrusting Everyone Isn’t the Answer

Overly mistrusting, pessimistic, or paranoid people lean toward disbelieving everything. They throw the baby out with the bathwater. Or rather, they throw God out because of the hypocrites.

God is the only person you can trust 100%. Even then, God asks us to trust Him beyond any scientific proof. Sometimes the truth is harder to believe than the lie. That’s where faith comes in. God distinguishes a believer from a non-believer by the faith we have to believe what the non-believer considers to be unbelievable.

These verses show that God expects us to trust Him even when it seems like we shouldn’t.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 ESV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5 ESV

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10 ESV

If you want to overcome lies and grow in self-worth, the first step is to learn how to discern God’s voice of truth from the devil’s voice of falsehood. You can discern the truth because you have the Holy Spirit who guides believers into all truth (John 16:13).

More on the journey to overcome lies.
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3 Reasons Hope Is Always Attainable

3 Reasons Hope Is Always Attainable

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Hope might be easy to lose but it is also easy to gain. If you’ve ever become discouraged, I bet something negative happened that you weren’t expecting. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to feel crushed. Even a small amount of hate from another can weigh you down. Read on if you want to feel hopeful instead of discouraged.

It’s only possible to lose hope when you lose focus on what matters most. Biblical hope is the “joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation.” If you’re focused on anything else as a source of hope, you risk becoming disappointed or full of despair. Consider the following verse which is meant to increase your confidence in your salvation.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 NIV

Verses like this one lead believers to know their salvation is secure. God wants you to feel hopeful because of your salvation. If your salvation wasn’t secure, what is there left to put your hope in? Yes, the Christian life is based on faith, but it is based on the guaranteed future reality of eternal life, not a one-in-a-million chance. Believers must have faith in God, trust God, and hope in God because what God promises is in the future. When you see the word hope in a verse, think of the biblical definition, not the I hope I win the lottery use.

You Can Hope Because Jesus Crucified Sin

Sin might have some immediate (as in earthly) consequences, but Jesus has saved you from the worst possible consequence: spiritual death. When you become a believer, you are no longer condemned, so you are no longer without hope. Nothing can separate you from God’s love (Romans 8:1, 38-39).

You Can Hope Because God Made You An Expert

No human is gifted in every way possible. Your weaknesses tell you what not to pursue in life just like your strengths tell you what you should pursue. Both are necessary. You’ll make yourself sick if you try to compete in areas where you lack ability. But you’ll experience peace and joy when you understand (and live out) the reasons why God created you.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

God has a purpose and a plan for your life. Stay on target and you’ll feel hopeful.

You Can Hope Because You Are Growing

Not only are we not born perfect, but we also aren’t born mature. God isn’t done with you yet. It’s okay if you need more time to fully mature into all God is making you to be. It’s possible what you aren’t capable of today, you will be capable of tomorrow. If you have seen enough reasons to hope yet, here is another:

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:6-7

God wants you to grow the gifting He’s given you. God is the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). Do your part to receive what God has given you and allow God to do His part to shape you into the work of art He has in mind. Keep both of these in balance and you will overflow with hope.

See the definition of the word hope.
Read about how to increase hope.
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Holy Spirit Guarantees Your Inheritance

Holy Spirit Guarantees Your Inheritance

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Reading time: 3 minutes

God desires that you feel secure with Him. He accomplishes this through His Holy Spirit, given to you when you are born spiritually. Once you are saved, He accepts responsibility for you and is able to keep you from falling away (Jude 1:24).

Holy Spirit Seals You

God gives the believer His Holy Spirit. As soon as you believe, God seals you with His Holy Spirit so you can feel secure. You become a genuine believer by hearing the word of truth, which is the gospel, and believing the truth.

God personally guarantees your inheritance until you receive it. If God is the guarantor, there be no doubt that He will keep His promise. God is the giver of good gifts. He is not one to revoke His gift (James 1:17, Matthew 7:7-11). This makes sense, doesn’t it? God is not someone who plays games with us. Once He chooses and calls you, He doesn’t change His mind (Romans 11:29).

A genuine believer can know he or she is eternally secure because of Ephesians 1:14.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

—Ephesians 1:11-14

Holy Spirit Intercedes for You

God is master and we are His followers. As a follower, you don’t need to know as much as God knows. You can’t know as much as God.

Since you are weaker than God, this places you in a position of dependence. Believers relate to God through faith and trust.

You don’t always know what needs to happen or what you should pray for. God makes up the difference by intervening in the best way possible. He knows us completely. Therefore, He cannot miss a necessary detail. He has life figured out. He has you covered.

In certain ways we are weak, but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don’t know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words. All of our thoughts are known to God. He can understand what is in the mind of the Spirit, as the Spirit prays for God’s people.

Romans 8:26-27 CEV

Holy Spirit Guides You

When people are blind, they especially need someone to direct their steps. Chances are, you are not blind, but even so, you cannot see everything.

Since you see less clearly than God, you must depend upon Him. You must walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). This means moving forward in confidence that God is on your side, God is protecting you, and God is preserving you.

In the physical world, salt is a preservative. In the spiritual realm, truth is a preservative. Without the truth, you decay and die. The truth strengthens your resolve to face all that you must endure in this life.

The Spirit shows what is true and will come and guide you into the full truth. The Spirit doesn’t speak on his own. He will tell you only what he has heard from me, and he will let you know what is going to happen.

John 16:13 CEV

Consider all these words and may the peace of God rest upon you now and forever.

This post is part of a series on eternal security. You can read the introductory post: eternal security means full assurance of salvation.
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Eternal Security Means Full Assurance Of Salvation

Eternal Security Means Full Assurance Of Salvation

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Reading time: 3 minutes

All born-again Christians have eternal security: a full assurance of their salvation. Jesus guaranteed this when He paid for our sins once for all time (Hebrews 10:12).

A promise of security that is temporary or conditional wouldn’t provide assurance. But worse, it would be fraudulent. The reasons to worship or trust God would be limited. Security is an emotional need that God fulfills through His care for us. Fortunately for us, God is fully capable of meeting our need for assurance:

The name of the Lord is a strong fortress;
    the godly run to him and are safe.

Proverbs 18:10 NLT

Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.

Psalm 23:4 NLT

Psalm 23 ends with David’s conviction that he will live forever:

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
    all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Psalm 23:6 NLT

Assurance is Possible Because Salvation is Freedom

When interpreting the Bible, it is important to look broadly (across many scriptures) and narrowly (in the immediate context of a verse). Also, everything written has an intended audience. The Bible has two main audiences: the Christian and the non-Christian.

The question of eternal security is a positional one. The Christian should approach the Bible as someone who is already saved and interpret every verse from this perspective. The true believer has complete freedom and no condemnation (Galatians 5:1,13; Romans 8:1). As a Christian, you can: Interpret The Bible With Your Christian Identity. The non-Christian should feel condemnation for their sin and the need for the Savior.

Can we agree on what is required to become a Christian? All of us should be able to evaluate whether or not we are saved at the present moment. If you can’t assert that you are saved right now, then that is a different problem: you then must consider if you are saved at all.

Assurance is Possible Because Salvation is a Gift

The process of gaining salvation requires putting your faith (actively believing) in Christ’s work on your behalf. You can’t provide any “work.” All that is required is your faithful belief. Salvation is a gift. Gifts are received not earned as Paul makes clear:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV

If someone can lose their salvation, there must be an equally clear procedure of how that happens. I suppose someone could return the gift, but there isn’t any reason why a true believer would want to do that. Only someone who hasn’t already received the gift can refuse the gift.

Assurance is Possible Because Salvation is Rest

If you can lose salvation by not working hard enough at it, then this would make salvation a trap: it’s easy to step in, but once you’re in, you have to work increasingly harder to stay in, otherwise, you’ll be kicked out. But then is it easy or hard to get back in again? Besides being confusing, this seems to go against the Gospel message and many Bible passages that grace, not works, saves you.

Consider Jesus’s words about coming to Him for rest:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

—Matthew 11:28-30

Salvation is not gained by working harder to avoid sin. That would be self-effort to keep salvation. Jesus is saying that salvation is the process of finding rest for your soul.

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Learn To Trust To Complete Your Training

Learn To Trust To Complete Your Training

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Trust is an essential skill for many aspects of life. It’s the foundation of every relationship you have. You need relationships to move forward in life. This post describes step 3 of 4 of the transformative journey.

Learn To Trust: Be Vulnerable in Relationships

You can’t accomplish anything apart from God. And, since God uses other people, you probably need them too. Trusting involves risk, but it also results in vulnerability which is required if you want to grow more emotionally healthy. It’s easy to trust when no suffering is involved. But God wants us to wait patiently for Him during our suffering.

The Lord’s people may suffer a lot,
but he will always bring them safely through.

Psalm 34:19 CEV

In Star Wars, when Luke attempts to rescue Princess Leia, he ends up trapped in a room-sized trash compactor. When a creature in the compactor strangles him and pulls him underwater, and yet again when the compactor starts shrinking, he must rely not only on his friends Han Solo and Princess Leia but also his droids C3PO and R2D2.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 40:1 NIV

When have you had no choice but to trust others when you’ve been at the bottom of your pit?

Learn To Trust: Replace Lies with Truth

In the midst of suffering, God would have us both accept the suffering and yet confront the lies that the suffering makes possible. When faced with the hopelessness of the moment, hope in God’s decisive, but future, victory is the only way to endure the pain.

Luke escapes the compactor only to see his mentor Obi-Wan struck down by Darth Vader. At that point, he lacks the understanding that something better is coming. But before Obi-Wan dies, he tells Vader, “You can’t win. If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can imagine.” I imagine that’s what Jesus could have said to the devil.

Obi-Wan’s sacrifice is Luke’s gain because he can speak directly to Luke through the force. I know the force is fiction and impersonal, but it’s hard not to think of the parallels to the Holy Spirit after Jesus’s sacrifice. Obi-Wan guides Luke similarly to how the Holy Spirit guides Christians into truth.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

Psalm 40:2 NIV

What lies are you believing about God or yourself that keep you in a pit? When have you experienced God removing sin, cleaning you, and blessing you with the truth so your footing is firm?

Learn To Trust: Accept a Positive Interpretation of Your Life

When you experience God the Holy Spirit within you, you have no choice but to see who you are from a positive perspective. You can rejoice that God’s sacrifice sets you free to contend with evil. Life can be hard, but victory is not only possible, it’s guaranteed.

After Luke feels the sting of Obi-Wan’s death, he resolves to continue to fight against evil. His confidence increases as he realizes he has the skills needed to contend with evil. “It’s not impossible,” Luke says as the rebels discuss the death star attack plan. Later he agrees with an old friend that, “they will never stop us.”

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.

Psalm 40:3 NIV

When have you had a goal so big that you have no choice but to trust God for a positive outcome?

God is worthy of trust no matter the degree of difficulty you face in this life. There are plenty of “false gods” to choose instead of God, but these will only keep you in a pit.

Blessed is the one
who trusts in the Lord,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

Psalm 40:4 NIV

What false gods do you need to put out of your life so you can accept the amazing plans God has for you?

Read more about developing trust.
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