Christian Concepts

Bringing your Potential to Light

Matt Pavlik

Wake Up From A Terrifying Dream

Wake Up From A Terrifying Dream

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Do you remember your dreams? Some people sleep so soundly that they rarely wake up in the middle of a dream. Dreams can help you process your understanding of the world, yourself, and God.

Dreams are interesting. Sometimes they can feel real. They can be wonderful-exciting but they can also be scary-exciting–at least until you wake up from them. How can you tell if you’re in reality or in a story about your reality? Sometimes you can’t see the difference until you wake up. Being awake allows for a greater degree of awareness. Once you’re awake you can do a reality check. “That was so weird. Thank God that was only a dream.”

But even when we are “awake”, we can still be asleep. I am thinking of being spiritually blinded to God’s truth. One day, in heaven, Christians will be fully awake and able to see everything clearly.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:12 ESV

Seek Truth To Wake Up

The way you understand the world should be constantly changing. As a child, what you experience early on becomes your best understanding of what the world is all about. If that experience was horrible or even neutral, you’ll form that kind of worldview (understanding of the world) and self-image (understanding of yourself).

Until you experience God’s truth, which points you toward God, your understanding will continue to deteriorate. You’ll become more deceived as you continue to live with your vision blurred and darkened. Thank God that He has redeemed us. He is calling us out of the darkness so we can wake up from a bad dream.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10 NIV

Having mercy and never receiving mercy are two very different places to be.

Seek Ephiphanies To Wake Up

What you experience becomes truth to you until something more true takes its place. Something totally wrong can feel definitively true. When God gives you a new heart and exposes you to the light, only then can you see the contrast. This experience can be so shocking, it’s hard to discern what is true and what is false. A psychological term for this is cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is good for you. When you struggle to make sense of life, you are experiencing an opportunity to grow–to move further into the light. You should be experiencing epiphanies regularly. Here are some examples:

  • Do you remember the first time you realized that Santa Claus wasn’t real?
  • Have you developed your own worldview, or are you still running off of your parent’s worldview?
  • How does your view of the opposite sex compare to when you were 10 years old?
  • If you’re married, do you remember what you thought marriage was before married?
  • What was your life like before you became a Christian? How do you see God differently now?
  • How has your self-worth changed over the years?

How have you changed in the past year? What has God been doing to help you wake up from your false beliefs? Take a moment to thank God for His light. Ask Him to shine it upon you so you can see more clearly.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26 NIV

Read more about truth and lies.
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How To Know When To Say No

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You might be more of a people pleaser than you realize. When you are presented with a decision, how often do you discount your opinion with something like, “I can go either way” or “It doesn’t matter to me; you pick”? Or, maybe you disregard your opinion with a “Yes” without considering what you want.

Certainly, there will be times when you are indifferent. Even during these times, it’s nearly always a good idea to know what you want, even if you give up what you want for someone else.

A quick response of indifference might involve the least amount of effort, but it can cost you significantly more later on. Instead, what if you invested the time to know what you want?

The less you know yourself, the harder it is to give a clear, direct answer to even a simple question. When you know yourself well, your answer will be second nature.

You might be wondering, “How do I get to know myself?” There are two main approaches to strengthening your self-image. You can remain reactive or go proactive.

  1. In reactive mode, you stumble through life and only give consideration to your ways when it becomes absolutely required of you (if ever).
  2. In proactive mode, you consider your ways every chance you get. You explore your past and use what you learn to better your future. You take advantage of the fact that God gives you truth about life, including details about who you are.

A step in-between the two modes is trial and error. You essentially try something blindly. Then perhaps as an afterthought, you evaluate the outcome. It’s not completely reactive or proactive.

The superior approach is having an awareness of who you are. Then during any given moment, you can proactively choose how to act based on what you know about yourself. God wants you to live a self-examined life (see Haggai 1).

Essential to every approach is what you do with your experiences. God gives you a process to discover your identity (who you are as defined by God). The goal is to increase the awareness of your identity so that decisions become easier over time.

If you have trouble people-pleasing or making good decisions, that’s usually because you don’t know yourself well enough. Learning who you are can occur “on accident,” but knowing yourself will take much longer that way.

Instead, take the time to evaluate your experiences and weed out the lies that are growing in the garden of your self-image. With the clutter of lies cleared away, you’ll know more clearly whether you want to say yes or no.

For example: if you don’t know who you are very well, then you might end up with an over-booked schedule. You’ll wonder why you are tired and irritable. If you continue to ignore your God-given identity, you’ll assume you are doing what God wants you to be doing because you are serving others.

In contrast, with healthy boundaries that come from a healthy identity, you’ll be confident about where to draw the line. You can say yes to some activities and no to others without feeling guilty or overwhelmed.

Some things God requires of you. You should feel motivated to do right and not wrong. But actually, most things are up to you. God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7). You can decide to go for a walk or stay home. You can decide to visit a friend or be by yourself. For these decisions, you must trust that God gives you enough intelligence to choose.

You can know what to choose by determining what level of self-care you need at any given moment. Then weigh that against the needs of others around you.

You might be surprised at your preferences when you discover them, but they are never a surprise to God. God knows what you will choose before you choose it. Trust that God gave you a built-in preference system–that’s your identity.

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Are You Super Needy Or Not Needy Enough?

Are You Super Needy Or Not Needy Enough?

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Hyper-focusing on problems (being too needy) can be detrimental. It can generate mistrust and anxiety. But denial (not being needy enough) is deadly. If you don’t know that you are sick or you won’t face that you are sick, you won’t seek the remedy you need.

How far should you go to question your emotional and spiritual health? If you don’t go far enough, you’re still in denial. If you go too far, you stop trusting God will take care of you.

It’s even possible to make a serious attempt to put off denial but still remain in denial. What you don’t know, you don’t know. The problem with these two unhealthy extremes is they bypass trusting God. God wants you to skip both worry and denial.

What is Too Needy?

Being too needy means you express more need than is healthy. This is another way of saying that you lack the security to trust. The extra expression manifests as pure worry. Worry is a too-activated conscience.

You could constantly worry about whether you’re missing something. For example, maybe you still have an unconfessed sin that you need to find. You feel like you need more help than even Jesus can provide.

What is Not Needy Enough?

When you are not needy, you fail to register your needs. This is another way of saying that you’ve given up hope that your needs will be met. You might feel numb or nothing at all. Denial is a too-under-activated conscience.

You could completely deny that you have any problems. For example, you’re unwilling to consider you need help. Everything is fine. You don’t need any help.

What is the Right Amount of Being Needy?

Neediness is not the problem. God designed us to be needy. You can be super needy and healthy at the same time. What you do with your emotional longings makes all the difference.

To counteract the extremes you need two healthy spiritual attitudes:

  1. “Jesus is sufficient help.” Jesus has the power to fully address whatever problems you face. This belief will counter an anxious response.
  2. “I need help.” Left to yourself, you realize you wouldn’t make it very far. This belief will counter denial.

Scripture speaks on both of these attitudes:

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

Psalm 46:1 NLT

When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

Mark 2:17 NLT

You can admit you need help, without becoming helpless. You can be in need, but not hopeless. This is a posture of waiting expectantly.

Ask God to help you see where you are sick. Unless you see, you won’t be in a position to receive God’s healing and even His blessings. Try a prayer based on Matthew 11:25 like this:

God, help me to understand my deepest needs. You keep the secrets of your kingdom hidden from the prideful but reveal them to children. Open my eyes to the wonder of who you are and who I am.

At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike.

Matthew 11:25 NLT

To receive the benefits of this prayer, see yourself as needy enough to receive God’s blessings, but not so needy that you believe God won’t bother to answer your cry for help.

More help for feeling rejected.
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Last updated 2022/10/30

God Will Deliver You From Failure

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How often do you feel discouraged by some kind of failure? If you think you’ve failed, you might say something like:

  • I really messed up this time.
  • There’s no hope for me now.
  • I can’t believe I did that.
  • I can’t be forgiven for that.
  • That was my last chance.
  • My best wasn’t good enough.
  • God is going to send me to hell.
  • I’ll never recover from this.
  • There’s no use trying again.

To believe any of these statements, you must be deceived. Every one of them has something false about it.

A worldly definition of failure has four parts:

  1. You did something.
  2. You weren’t supposed to do it.
  3. You can’t undo it.
  4. You are therefore perpetually caught in shame.

In fact, what makes failure so hideous is not so much the first three, but that last one. The lingering feelings of self-condemnation and self-loathing are unbearable and there appears to be no escape from them.

Sin is probably the best definition of failure. It completely misses what God wants for your life. Without God, you are defective because of sin. But God has stripped sin of its power. So it does not have a significant lasting effect.

Let’s reconsider the definition of failure, but include God this time. A worst-case definition of failure considers it to be only a temporary set-back.

Failure implies some kind of ending. But because God is an eternal being, endings do not exist for Him. Any moment in time is not the final word on your situation.

Failure implies some kind of hopelessness. But God is an endless supply of hope. Nothing can defeat God. Nothing can defeat God’s plans. Nothing can defeat God’s people. Nothing can defeat you.

You can always learn from your experience, even if it seems like an abysmal failure. God is ready to give you another chance. You can start again in a stronger position.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

Psalm 34:4-7 NIV

So you can see that you will have trouble, but God will deliver you from the trouble. He will deliver you from evil. He will even deliver you from failure.

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For A Better Relationship, Breathe

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If you’ve been a Christian for a while and you no longer feel as close to God as you used to feel, someone has probably told you:

  • God doesn’t move, so if you are more distant from God, guess who moved?
  • In your walk with God, you’re either moving toward Him or away from Him.

Have you ever experienced something that stopped changing, but is still considered to be alive? To be alive is to change. When you stop changing, you’re dead.

Since God is everywhere, you can’t actually move away from Him. However, you can close your heart to Him. You can block Him out, tune Him out, or ignore Him. But He’s still there.

Moving away can be positive or negative depending on the context. Moving away is negative when you become closed to the relationship. But moving away can also be understood as becoming more self-defined. You test to see where the boundaries are between you and God. How much of life is your responsibility and how much is God’s? You stop forcing yourself from obligation and return to God knowing you have a clear choice and a willing heart.

Could what I’ve written also apply to horizontal relationships (with people other than God)?

We all need to breathe the air around us to stay alive. In with the good and out with the bad. Similarly, relationships need to breathe. Breathe-in equals spending time together. Breathe-out equals focusing away from the relationship and on other people, jobs, or hobbies. Marriage especially needs to breathe because one other person can’t meet all your needs.

For a better relationship (with God and others) learn how to breathe:

  • Spend time away from a relationship to strengthen both yourself and the relationship. Bring something new from your time away to re-energize your relationship.
  • If you find yourself feeling distant or closed to those you are expecting to be close to, be intentional about moving toward them.

If you’ve been in a heated argument, you feel the tension, and you’ve already tried some distance, what might be next is the hard work of moving towards again. Renegotiate how the relationship will be different and hopefully even better now.

Talk with your significant other about how much time you expect to spend together and how much time apart. Find the balancing point where you feel strong individually and as a couple.

And, in your relationship with God, balance the time being with God, sitting at His feet, and the time you are doing something for yourself, others, or even God.

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Where Does Joy Come From?

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If you want to find something, where do you start looking?

If you’re hungry for strawberries, where do you get them? Strawberries don’t grow on apple trees. So there’s not much point in looking up a tree.

Where does joy come from? Joy is a fruit of the spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV

Joy is spiritual. Joy is other-worldly. Joy can be difficult to grasp. It’s not logical when viewed from the present moment. Joy becomes elusive when you look for it in the circumstances of your life.

But joy is logical when you look beyond the present moment. Real joy is rooted in a reality beyond what you see everyday. Joy comes from a truth greater than any fact of your present day life. That’s the only way you can suffer and be joyful at the same time.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3 NIV

Joy isn’t possible without faith. Faith sees beyond the physical to the spiritual reality.

Joy results from trials because the trials reveal the “too good to be true even though it is true” reality beyond the so-so reality of everyday life. Joy is always possible because it’s based on the absolute truth of God’s kingdom.

And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

Luke 23:43 ESV

No matter what is happening to you today, a paradise awaits you someday in the future. But don’t end your life prematurely to reach paradise.

While you’re still alive, God has a purpose for you. It’s okay to borrow joy from your heavenly future. In fact, that’s the only way to do it. God’s Spirit makes the heavenly reality known to you today.

Enjoy!

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