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Could Artificial Intelligence Cripple Relationships?

Could Artificial Intelligence Cripple Relationships?

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Could someone fall in love with an Artificial Intelligence (AI) robot? Many movies have raised this question of whether a robot could replace a human [1]. Could this be a dangerous possibility because the technology to fool people is improving?

Anything can become an idol. Keep in mind that all idols are inferior to God. People can know something is fake and still become unhealthily enthralled with it. It’s possible to become addicted to just about anything. Movies and books might seem tame compared to virtual reality (VR) or AI robots but they can be just as enticing. Some people will use whatever means they can to lead others into sin. Sometimes it is intentional and sometimes not. Regardless, anything less than God will not ultimately satisfy the human heart. But, people continue to try to find satisfaction elsewhere.

What is Artificial Intelligence?

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is a computer program that uses statistical methods to identify patterns in data (stored, interconnected knowledge) to simulate understanding. With enough data and a sophisticated method, a program could appear to be human. AI is artificial because it is not living. It has no soul, no spirit. It is also artificial because it cannot change its programming or create new data without human help.

Is Artificial Intelligence Capable of Human Intelligence?

Larson, in his book The Myth of Artificial Intelligence, makes a clear argument that AI is not close to understanding how humans think. We have an intelligence that cannot be replicated through deduction or induction. Deduction is using logic to solve problems given information that already exists. It doesn’t add new knowledge, it only finds hidden knowledge. Induction is predicting future events based on the statistics of past events. For example, if I always pull a white marble from a bag, then I could declare that all the marbles in the bag are (probably) white.

AI that matches human creative capability requires abduction which is generating new ideas, thoughts, and summaries that go beyond the existing data. It makes a leap to what might be. It is not always accurate, but it can lead to breakthrough discoveries. Abduction is the domain of humans. AI will always be dependent on humans for new data [8].

Could Robots Become Close Enough to Human?

With enough data and programming, there will likely come a day when a robot can appear human, at least in terms of its ability to regurgitate facts. A computer will never be capable of emotion. Robots follow their programming; they do not care about anything else. Emotions, abstract thought, and creative ability distinguish humans from everything else God created. We are made in his image so God has these essential qualities but only more so because His ways are higher than our ways.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV

The same could be said for anything a human can create. A creature cannot be more complicated than its creator. As Christians, we should spend at least as much time looking up to God as we do looking (down) at created things.

Why settle for Artificial Intelligence when we have access to our Creator’s Infinite Intelligence? It is easy to settle when it seems like God is “too high” to be relatable. It is hard to see God when He is not right there in front of us. The Chosen has helped me see God as more accessible through Jesus.

[1] List of movies about robot-human relationships.
Learn more about addictions.
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Fight Fair Even When Triggered

Fight Fair Even When Triggered

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Reading time: 4 minutes

What does it mean to be triggered? People become triggered under the following conditions:

  1. Their current reaction is out of proportion to the current activity.
  2. A negative experience (trauma) accounts for the difference between the two.

In this post, I explain how to use triggers to help you better understand yourself. Truly understanding yourself and others is the best way to resolve conflict. But finding understanding is hard work. Proverbs 4 tells us to get understanding even if it costs us everything (all of our earthly possessions anyway).

Get wisdom, get understanding;
    do not forget my words or turn away from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
    love her, and she will watch over you.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.
    Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
    embrace her, and she will honor you.
She will give you a garland to grace your head
    and present you with a glorious crown.”

Proverbs 4:5-9 NIV

The consequences of a lack of understanding are costly, leading to the destruction of relationships. In the remainder of this post, let us assume you are in conflict with “Person X”. A negative reaction to being triggered is to lash out at Person X (which only degrades the relationship further).

Why are we arguing over who is going to plan the next vacation? People are often confused by how a simple matter can produce such a heated conflict. But there really is no great mystery. There could be many reasons but they all come about because of an inability to handle life.

People manage life poorly because they lack the experiences that can teach the truth about who they are. Sometimes this “lack” takes the form of not getting enough positives (such as nurturing) and other times it is caused by getting too many negatives (such as abuse).

How to Fight Fair When Triggered

The absolute first action to take when you are triggered is to start entertaining the idea that you must be upset by more than just what is happening at the moment. A close second is to recognize that you probably have a good reason for being upset, even if you do not have a good reason for attacking Person X.

At this point, you might see that these first two steps require a rational response. Usually, however, by the time a person is already triggered, it is too late: logical thinking is nearly impossible. That’s because when people feel threatened by the conflict, their bodies respond with adrenaline to help them deal with the challenge. The best you can do, once you are aware, is to disengage from Person X until you can think clearly again.

After you calm down, explore what caused such a dramatic reaction. What from your past crashed into that recent encounter? For example, if you become triggered by feeling responsible for planning a vacation, then consider what other times in your life you resented being the responsible one who takes care of the details. Doing this as an exercise will provide a map of sorts. You should be able to see the link between similar events.

After you have a map, take it to Person X. Explain the map to them. You might find it necessary to further explain that you are not making excuses for your behavior but are trying to provide an explanation. This is helpful because it provides context which should increase the understanding Person X has of you.

Understanding Builds Resilience to Being Triggered

Understanding is the top goal in achieving better communication. After you reach an understanding, negotiating a solution becomes almost simple (relatively speaking). I say this because understanding paves a path to resolving conflict. In this context, understanding means knowing what you want and why you want it. However, this is difficult to achieve.

There are at least two huge obstacles to understanding:

  1. Only God understands everyone (and everything).
  2. It is challenging to understand yourself, let alone another person, let alone a person very different from you.

If you want to fight fair and resolve conflict consider your answer to these two questions:

  1. Do you really want to understand yourself?
  2. Do you really want to understand Person X?

How much understanding is good enough? We don’t have eternity to reach an understanding, therefore, to solve day-to-day problems, understanding must be made practical. This means putting enough effort into gaining understanding that will allow you to resolve conflict and live peaceably with Person X.

Learn more about conflict resolution.
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Authentic Sharing Leaves People Blessed

Authentic Sharing Leaves People Blessed

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Reading time: 4 minutes

We thrive when God shares His life with us through Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sharing your life with others might be the best way to encourage someone. Paul describes his desire for mutual edification to the believers in Rome:

One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. For I long to visit you so I can bring you some spiritual gift that will help you grow strong in the Lord. When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.

Romans 1:10-12 NLT

A testimony is a statement of personal experience. It can’t be refuted, but it is also hard to deny. Testimonies are usually intentional and planned, but casual sharing can be just as effective.

Sharing Your Spirit is a Blessing

Others need your perspective. It can be incredibly encouraging just to hear someone else acknowledge God’s truth as real. God gives us life to share with others. What is more precious than life? Sharing your life is like a supercharged spiritual discipline.

Because we are made in God’s image, we are spirit at our core too. God made us to have some control over what we keep hidden and what we reveal.

For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.

John 4:24 NLT

If God invests in revealing who He is to us, we should also spend time revealing ourselves to each other. By sharing ourselves we are also revealing who God is because God lives within us. This kind of spiritual sharing goes beyond sharing physical resources.

God’s Spirit has shown you everything. His Spirit finds out everything, even what is deep in the mind of God.

1 Corinthians 2:10 CEV

To see and know God is eternal life (John 17:3).

Mutual Sharing is Superior

What is motivating you when you share? Interestingly enough, sharing benefits both the speaker and the listener. In most relationships, balanced sharing is more rewarding. Listening can be work but it can also be an act of receiving a blessing. Speaking can be work, for example when someone is teaching, but it can also be advantageous.

The speaker is blessed by knowing that what is shared makes a difference in someone else’s life. Sharing is also important for another more subtle reason: not sharing is unnatural. An example of this is when someone gives another the silent treatment. People become emotionally sick when they cannot share their lives with others.

Even though sharing is beneficial, this doesn’t mean it is healthy to share indiscriminately. Even God reveals Himself only to specific people.

My Father has entrusted everything to me. No one truly knows the Son except the Father, and no one truly knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

Luke 10:22 NLT

Some people have no interest or use for God’s words. They do not understand. They do not know eternal life. God says that you don’t have to waste your time with these people. But there are plenty of others who are poor in spirit. They want to hear the words of truth. They are hungry for the life you have flowing within you.

Don’t give to dogs what belongs to God. They will only turn and attack you. Don’t throw pearls down in front of pigs. They will trample all over them.

Matthew 7:6 CEV

Too often people are taught to not be selfish and to listen more than speak. But if everyone followed this advice, no one would be talking! I encourage you to intentionally seek a balance in your relationships. Both speaking and listening are powerful blessings.

When you speak, be deliberate about sharing the best parts of your spiritual life. What has God been doing in your heart? When you are listening to others, realize they are sharing the “pearls of the kingdom” with you. You are treading on holy ground. Be respectful of this blessing.

Speak and listen with all of your heart.

Learn about overcoming shame.
Learn about the limits of self-revelation.
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What Is Sin? A Foolish Rebellion Against God

What Is Sin? A Foolish Rebellion Against God

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Your understanding of sin can have a profound effect on your life. If your definition is inaccurate, you will be either too judgmental or too lenient with yourself and others. What is sin? What is the best way to understand sin? Is sinning different that sin?

Sin is Rooted in a Sinful Nature

What is a sinful nature? It is the condition of our existence that we are born into. It cannot be escaped by any effort apart from God.

A sinful nature is a core (primary) attitude in the heart: a desire to live your own life, with your own rules, apart from God. Instead of acknowledging and choosing dependence upon God, sin is rebellion against God and what He stands for. Rebellion can be open and demonstrative or silent but seething below the surface.

Those who desire to live apart from God will get what they wish for. Hell is a place absent of God’s goodness, with no hope of escape.

Sin is Different than Sinning

Sin is the disease of the heart. None of us are born ready to choose God wholeheartedly.

We are powerless to separate our sinful nature from our physical bodies. Everyone (except Jesus, Elijah, and Enoch) will die physically because of their sin. Jesus died, but not because of His sin. Elijah and Enoch were sinful like the rest of us, but God took them to heaven before they died. The point is that sin is fatal.

Sin is ongoing but sinning (committing a sin) is a distinct moment in time. Sinning is trivial compared to sin. Sin is more like an incurable disease and sinning is like a natural symptom of the disease. Ceasing sinning does not eliminate sin. But the person who is cured of the disease by faith in Jesus will eventually stop sinning.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.

Romans 6:6-7 NLT

Sinning is an action. Sinning is essentially involuntary for non-believers. Because Christ defeated sin and death, sinning is a choice for believers.

Believers are Saints, Not Sinners

A non-believer is a “sinner.” A believer is a “saint.” A sinner will continue sinning. A saint will sin, but not continue in the same defiant way over time. God gives saints the ability to repent.

John Piper answers the question, What is Sin? on his website. He does an excellent job explaining and supporting the idea that no one is good except God. We all fall short, therefore, none of us are capable of good works (apart from God working in us).

For as good of a job he does providing the needed support to answer the question, I am disappointed with his final, concise definition:

Sinning is any feeling or thought or speech or action that comes from a heart that does not treasure God over all other things.

John Piper

As a counselor, I see this definition as confusing at best or containing errors at worst. The definition is complicated and susceptible to misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Here are some questions it raises for me:

  • What about a heart that does treasure God? A saint will treasure God. But a saint is still capable of sinning.
  • Sinning is different than sin. How does this answer the question, what is sin?
  • Feelings and thoughts, and even speech and actions can be indicators of a sinful heart. They are like the smoke resulting from a raging fire.
  • Feelings and thoughts can be involuntary. They just happen. God judges sin and condemns it. Should a definition of sin focus on condemning feelings? When people burst into tears or express they are afraid, do they need to know first and foremost that they are sinning? Negative feelings can indicate wrong belief about God (needs correction), but they don’t necessarily mean unbelief (sinful).

A better definition will focus on the heart, the core, the root of the problem. I propose a simpler, direct definition: Sin is brokenness producing an attitude of foolish rebellion against God and what He stands for.

The saint practices learning how to stop sinning. The saint values God’s truth. The saint sees dependence upon God as the only way life can possibly work. There can be only one true Kingdom — God’s. Attempting to set up one’s own kingdom apart from God is nothing less than sinful insurrection.

Read more about Elijah and Enoch
Read more about Unbelief
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Spirited Resilience Minimizes Interference

Spirited Resilience Minimizes Interference

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Resilience is toughness: the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties. Life is a series of difficulties. With God’s help, you can develop resilience to the decaying nature of this world.

Many events in life bring happiness and many bring sadness. Everyone has their share of both, but some people experience more sadness than others. For them, if they can fix their attention on the next life, they can develop resilience in this life.

Electronic Resilience

Recently, I remembered what is often printed on the back of electronic equipment. Such electronics need to have resilience. Any particular item cannot be so sensitive that another could easily destroy it. Here is what is written on the back of my DVD player:

Operation is subject to the following two conditions:

  1. This device may not cause harmful interference.
  2. This device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation.

It is interesting that such a law exists for electronic devices. It is a simple, but profound rule that allows many kinds of electronics to be in operation at the same time and in the same space–without interfering with each other.

Some interference might be annoying (the device will not work). But other interference apparently can cause “undesired operation.” Could someone create an electronic device that could overload other devices, turning them into some kind of hazard?

Human Resilience

What if these conditions could be applied to human relationships? The first condition is God’s desire that we stop sinning. We are not supposed to harm others–repay evil with evil. He empowers us to do so by His Spirit, but even Christians have the potential to keep sinning. The second condition defines resilience. Even when others sin against us, God wants us to “turn the other cheek” instead of responding with more destructive interference.

“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.

Matthew 5:38-40 NLT

Marriage Resilience

What does this look like in marriage? First of all, God does not want husbands and wives to harm each other. This is easier said than done. Intimacy with another person stirs up hope that our deepest desires will be met. While this is a good thing, it also means the possibility of significant disappointment or even heartbreak.

Some people will respond by shutting down. Instead of being in a situation where hopes are raised and then crushed, it seems best to not feel hopeful about desires being met. Technically, shutting down meets the definition of resilience because becoming tough or calloused 1) does not overtly cause interference and 2) blocks interference from others. Pulling the plug on an electrical device during an electric storm is wise, but the device will be useless if it is never plugged in again.

Shutting down works in short bursts during intense interference. But more is required to be in a loving relationship. God would have us continue to be vulnerable (turn the other cheek, accept interference but stay involved) in relationships, even if it means getting slapped sometimes.

Can you try moving toward other people in your life, even though they have hurt you? Developing resilience is an ongoing effort. It’s not possible to respond perfectly to others like Jesus was able to when He was being set up and crucified. Sometimes the interference we receive causes undesired operation (a sinful response in us). But this does not have to end in tossing your life into the junk pile.

Take the time you need to develop resilience but don’t give up on God’s truth that you are wanted, are valuable, and have a purpose. Perhaps God could print these conditions on our hearts.

This human being is subject to the following two conditions:

  1. This heart may not cause harmful interference to another heart.
  2. This heart must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired pain and suffering.

Learn more about Conflict Resolution.
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Faith Is Essential Spiritual Vision

Faith Is Essential Spiritual Vision

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Everyone has doubts but not everyone has faith. Christians should keep faith active at all times because it overcomes everything that blocks God’s spiritual blessings. Nothing matters more than maintaining belief in God. It’s what keeps us in right relationship with God.

What is Faith?

Faith acknowledges that God exists. It’s seeing with spiritual eyes and believing what is seen. It’s essential to the Christian. Both becoming a Christian and living as a Christian require faith. Having faith is like having a sixth sense.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1 ESV

Faith brings us the security that the words in the Bible, God’s promises, are true. Even though faith is indispensable, it’s often easier to express doubt instead. Faith can see that God is good, but doubt sees only that God is flawed or worse, that He doesn’t exist at all.

But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

Romans 14:23 ESV

The primary act of faith is believing that Jesus has eliminated the threat of sin. Trusting God puts you in right relationship with Him.

When something terrible happens, faith allows a person to maintain the understanding that God is completely good. That’s all that God really wants from us: actively seeing and believing in God’s goodness. Trusting God will all your heart can only have a positive outcome (Proverbs 3:5-7).

Faith Helps Find the Right Path

We are born into this life away from God’s ideal path. And, there is no pain-free path that leads to this ideal path. Being a Christian involves submitting to God and allowing Him to guide us to His path. But just as it’s difficult to cut through an overgrown jungle, it’s equally difficult to endure God’s restorative process (sanctification).

Usually, God doesn’t instantly transport people from their lost position (like in the jungle) straight to His perfect path. Instead, He tells us to take up our cross.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Matthew 16:24-26 ESV

Leaving behind the pleasure and satisfaction of sin is necessary to find the path of real life. Choosing the right path is counter-intuitive because walking it is so difficult. Why is the most difficult direction the correct one? God made the right path to be costly. Only a sincere heart can walk it.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.”

Matthew 13:45-46 ESV

If you’ve ever tried to change a bad habit, you understand the effort involved. Losing weight requires eating less or exercising more. Enduring hunger isn’t fun. And neither is additional strenuous exercise.

An uninspired person will conclude that the journey back to health is too much work. But a person of faith can see the destination and so knows that the journey is worth it.

If the journey back to health was the path of least resistance, everyone would be healthy. It’s much easier to maintain a messy house than a well-organized one.

Putting life back into order requires effort; some people are unwilling to put in the intense effort. But true believers are willing to do whatever it takes to find the right path.

Read more about faith in action.
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