Christian Concepts

Bringing your Potential to Light

Matt Pavlik

Spirited Resilience Minimizes Interference

Spirited Resilience Minimizes Interference

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Resilience is toughness: the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties. Life is a series of difficulties. With God’s help, you can develop resilience to the decaying nature of this world.

Many events in life bring happiness and many bring sadness. Everyone has their share of both, but some people experience more sadness than others. For them, if they can fix their attention on the next life, they can develop resilience in this life.

Electronic Resilience

Recently, I remembered what is often printed on the back of electronic equipment. Such electronics need to have resilience. Any particular item cannot be so sensitive that another could easily destroy it. Here is what is written on the back of my DVD player:

Operation is subject to the following two conditions:

  1. This device may not cause harmful interference.
  2. This device must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired operation.

It is interesting that such a law exists for electronic devices. It is a simple, but profound rule that allows many kinds of electronics to be in operation at the same time and in the same space–without interfering with each other.

Some interference might be annoying (the device will not work). But other interference apparently can cause “undesired operation.” Could someone create an electronic device that could overload other devices, turning them into some kind of hazard?

Human Resilience

What if these conditions could be applied to human relationships? The first condition is God’s desire that we stop sinning. We are not supposed to harm others–repay evil with evil. He empowers us to do so by His Spirit, but even Christians have the potential to keep sinning. The second condition defines resilience. Even when others sin against us, God wants us to “turn the other cheek” instead of responding with more destructive interference.

“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too.

Matthew 5:38-40 NLT

Marriage Resilience

What does this look like in marriage? First of all, God does not want husbands and wives to harm each other. This is easier said than done. Intimacy with another person stirs up hope that our deepest desires will be met. While this is a good thing, it also means the possibility of significant disappointment or even heartbreak.

Some people will respond by shutting down. Instead of being in a situation where hopes are raised and then crushed, it seems best to not feel hopeful about desires being met. Technically, shutting down meets the definition of resilience because becoming tough or calloused 1) does not overtly cause interference and 2) blocks interference from others. Pulling the plug on an electrical device during an electric storm is wise, but the device will be useless if it is never plugged in again.

Shutting down works in short bursts during intense interference. But more is required to be in a loving relationship. God would have us continue to be vulnerable (turn the other cheek, accept interference but stay involved) in relationships, even if it means getting slapped sometimes.

Can you try moving toward other people in your life, even though they have hurt you? Developing resilience is an ongoing effort. It’s not possible to respond perfectly to others like Jesus was able to when He was being set up and crucified. Sometimes the interference we receive causes undesired operation (a sinful response in us). But this does not have to end in tossing your life into the junk pile.

Take the time you need to develop resilience but don’t give up on God’s truth that you are wanted, are valuable, and have a purpose. Perhaps God could print these conditions on our hearts.

This human being is subject to the following two conditions:

  1. This heart may not cause harmful interference to another heart.
  2. This heart must accept any interference received, including interference that may cause undesired pain and suffering.

Learn more about Conflict Resolution.
Image was taken by Matt Pavlik.

Faith Is Essential Spiritual Vision

Faith Is Essential Spiritual Vision

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Everyone has doubts but not everyone has faith. Christians should keep faith active at all times because it overcomes everything that blocks God’s spiritual blessings. Nothing matters more than maintaining belief in God. It’s what keeps us in right relationship with God.

What is Faith?

Faith acknowledges that God exists. It’s seeing with spiritual eyes and believing what is seen. It’s essential to the Christian. Both becoming a Christian and living as a Christian require faith. Having faith is like having a sixth sense.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1 ESV

Faith brings us the security that the words in the Bible, God’s promises, are true. Even though faith is indispensable, it’s often easier to express doubt instead. Faith can see that God is good, but doubt sees only that God is flawed or worse, that He doesn’t exist at all.

But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

Romans 14:23 ESV

The primary act of faith is believing that Jesus has eliminated the threat of sin. Trusting God puts you in right relationship with Him.

When something terrible happens, faith allows a person to maintain the understanding that God is completely good. That’s all that God really wants from us: actively seeing and believing in God’s goodness. Trusting God will all your heart can only have a positive outcome (Proverbs 3:5-7).

Faith Helps Find the Right Path

We are born into this life away from God’s ideal path. And, there is no pain-free path that leads to this ideal path. Being a Christian involves submitting to God and allowing Him to guide us to His path. But just as it’s difficult to cut through an overgrown jungle, it’s equally difficult to endure God’s restorative process (sanctification).

Usually, God doesn’t instantly transport people from their lost position (like in the jungle) straight to His perfect path. Instead, He tells us to take up our cross.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Matthew 16:24-26 ESV

Leaving behind the pleasure and satisfaction of sin is necessary to find the path of real life. Choosing the right path is counter-intuitive because walking it is so difficult. Why is the most difficult direction the correct one? God made the right path to be costly. Only a sincere heart can walk it.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.”

Matthew 13:45-46 ESV

If you’ve ever tried to change a bad habit, you understand the effort involved. Losing weight requires eating less or exercising more. Enduring hunger isn’t fun. And neither is additional strenuous exercise.

An uninspired person will conclude that the journey back to health is too much work. But a person of faith can see the destination and so knows that the journey is worth it.

If the journey back to health was the path of least resistance, everyone would be healthy. It’s much easier to maintain a messy house than a well-organized one.

Putting life back into order requires effort; some people are unwilling to put in the intense effort. But true believers are willing to do whatever it takes to find the right path.

Read more about faith in action.
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How To Desire Without Guilt

How To Desire Without Guilt

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Desires are not a dichotomy of good and evil. All the desires God created are good when they are expressed how God intended them to be.

When we are tempted to fulfill a desire for the wrong reasons, it can be equally tempting to throw out the desire altogether. For example, if people are addicted to food, they might overcompensate and decide to eat too little. However, eating too little is just as unhealthy as eating too much.

God would have us learn how to regulate our desires, that is, to use them in the right way. Not over-indulging and not depriving out of guilt. The goal is self-control, a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

What are Desires and When Can I Fulfill Them?

Desires are human drives, appetites, needs, and wants such as:

  • Food
  • Sexual intimacy
  • Physical touch
  • Compassion
  • Power
  • Control
  • Bravery
  • Love
  • Respect

All of these desires can have positive and negative expressions. It’s a matter of timing, situation, and motive. Some are more obvious than others. There’s a right time to eat and a wrong time to eat. There’s a right and a wrong time for sex. Even physical touch is not always appropriate.

What happens when one of these desires becomes an idol? A person might continue to eat beyond what will be helpful for their body. They might eat for pleasure alone to escape the pain of life. A person might seek sexual intimacy or physical touch, involving others without their permission.

What about power and control? They have a more negative connotation, don’t they? But God couldn’t be God without them. Power and control are more often than not used to gain an advantage over another for one’s own benefit. But they can be equally used to protect the vulnerable and accomplish great works.

There’s a time to act with bravery and a time to be humble or accepting instead. Action is not always the answer.

Love is harder to see how it can become a problem. God is love. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Godly love has a perfect balance to it, so it’s always appropriate (Galatians 5:22-23). Yet in our human attempts at love, we can actually hurt others. Being only kind to someone when they need truth is not loving. Respect is similar. It would seem that respect is always a good attitude. And it would be, except evil shouldn’t be respected.

None of these virtues is the only solution for all time in all situations. To better understand how any one desire is not enough, imagine a world where only one desire existed (eating for example). God created a world more interesting and dynamic than that. We are not robots. Wisdom calls us to apply the right action at the right time according to the need (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8; Romans 12:15; Galatians 6:1-5).

The How of Desire Trumps The What

I’ve established that is not necessary to fulfill a desire all the time. God takes this idea a step further in Romans 14. He says that there are times when we should abstain from an activity we consider to be good if it would cause a fellow believer spiritual distress (v. 15).

You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.

Romans 14:22-23 NLT

To fulfill desires without guilt, you must develop, train, and follow your convictions. Your conscience matters in determining what is right or wrong. It’s important to realize that living by faith is the same as living with a clear conscience. If you are in right relationship with God, what you do will be right, too.

If you have an over-active conscience or a seared conscience, ask God to restore you to a healthy conscience so you can live free of guilt and condemnation.

Read more about guilt.
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Blame And Defensiveness Exposed

Blame And Defensiveness Exposed

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Reading time: 4 minutes

Who do you blame for life’s problems? How easy is it to identify the source of a problem? What do you blame? When? Why? How often? You might accuse others or you might condemn yourself of some wrongdoing.

Blaming shifts the focus of responsibility. While this tactic might be used for good purposes, I am writing about blame when it is activated for purely selfish purposes.

Blame is Possible Because of a Standard of Behavior

In order to accuse someone of wrongdoing, there must first be some standard in mind, otherwise, the complaint makes no sense. But a blaming statement is meant to carry the weight of authority behind it.

  1. You cut me off in traffic.
  2. You punched me in the face.
  3. You called me names to denounce my worth.
  4. You took the last cookie.
  5. You went to bed without saying goodnight.
  6. You spend too much time with your friends, your computer, your work, your family.
  7. You don’t want to understand me.

What do all of these have in common? They speak of an expectation for behavior, for someone else’s behavior. They could be statements of fact, but they could also be spoken with an edge of condemnation.

We desire to be treated in a way that meets our emotional needs. We also desire to be capable of treating others well. But others fall short and so do we. How well do you love? How badly do you want to love well? What does it mean to you when others love you well?

Blame can be an attack and so blame-shifting is a natural counter-attack. Consider these responses to the above accusations:

  1. You drive too slowly.
  2. You provoked me by continuing to nag.
  3. You don’t understand what I’ve been through.
  4. You never claimed it for your own.
  5. I was too tired to think.
  6. You’re trying to control me.
  7. You’re impossible to understand.

As you can see, the argument is not over whether a standard even exists. It is over the extenuating circumstances, the technicalities of its fulfillment. No one is eager to admit failing to meet the standard. No one wants to feel inadequate to meet the standard.

Blame is Possible Because We Have a Choice

God has standards or laws for many aspects of His creation. Gravity is a law or standard of expected behavior. When a ball is dropped, it falls to the ground. The ball doesn’t have a choice. Gravity would act upon the ball even if the ball could desire to remain suspended in the air.

What about the standards that God has for us? The Bible speaks of the law.

Why, then, was the law given? It was given alongside the promise to show people their sins.

Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith. And now that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian.

Galatians 3:19a,24,25

We no longer need the law as a guardian because we have God Himself as our example of love and our teacher of love. The standard causes us to depend on God to meet the standard. We have the option to sin. We can act against God’s Spirit. We can deviate from His law of behavior.

Unlike the law of gravity that acts upon us involuntarily, God does not forcefully ensure that we love when we don’t want to, or can’t. The law acts upon us from the outside, but God acts from the inside with our cooperation.

When we are faced with our inadequacy to fulfill the law, the natural, sinful response is to minimize the law. My inability to meet your expectations is not my fault. Your standards are too high. You sabotaged my ability to meet them. It’s your fault. You are to blame. The defensive response can seem involuntary because it can come so quickly.

Because we cannot escape from God’s standard, we have only these options to manage God’s standard:

  1. Ignore it (pretend it doesn’t exist).
  2. Downplay it (it exists, but can’t possibly be taken seriously).
  3. Admit falling short but stubbornly hold to independence, living with condemnation (refusing God’s help through Jesus).
  4. Admit falling short but fully depend on God’s help to meet the standard.

The first three will illicit some form of blaming. But when we depend upon God, we no longer have a need for blaming or defensiveness.

Read more about resolving conflict.
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Your Past Is The Secret To Your Faith

Your Past Is The Secret To Your Faith

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Focusing on your past can help you trust God with your future. Many people discount the past. They say things like:

  • “It’s already done.”
  • “I can’t change the past.”
  • “Dwelling on the past is a waste of time.”

Faith is normally thought of as forward-looking. Faith involves trusting during times of uncertainty. Do you know what is going to happen next in your life? The future might be more uncertain than the past, but the past can also instill doubt. Therefore, the past is as much alive as the future but in its own way.

Faith is Required for The Future

The future is mostly hidden and unknown. Even though the Bible is clear about the ultimate future of all believers (in heaven), no one knows for sure when that will happen. Only God fully knows the past and the future because only He is in complete control.

Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Isaiah 46:9-10 NLT

These verses address the past (remember it), the future (God knows it), and sovereignty (God can do whatever He wants). These two verses, then, are sufficient reasons to trust God, or at least to fear Him. So, we have no choice really. We must trust God with the future. But what about the past?

Faith is Required for the Past

If the past is a done deal, why would trust be necessary at all? Consider this: Which has more influence over your present behavior, the past or the future?

The past provides much stronger clues about your identity, the identity of the world, and even God. The past is alive because you are alive. You can remember experiences, draw from their reality, and make decisions in the present. If you have been through an overwhelmingly (or any) negative (or positive) event, it is still likely influencing your understanding of the world and ultimately your behavior.

One can make an argument that we also need to trust God with the past. Experience can remain as unreconciled mysteries. You can be certain that an event has taken place, but what about the meaning of the event? Can you be certain you understand historical events?

The past is fully visible and fully known to you, but does it make any sense? It certainly raises many challenging questions such as:

  • Why did such and such happen? What is the purpose of it?
  • Why does God allow so many bad things to happen?
  • What can I learn from it? How is it relevant to me?

Your Testimony is Your Past

How has God been working in your life? What is He doing? What has He brought you through? When you can look back and feel confidence rather than doubt, something powerful has happened.

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

1 Peter 1:7 NLT

God wants you to focus on the past, so you can remember who He is. This can fuel your faith in Him, allowing you to make faithful decisions in the present. The future might remain elusive, but based on your experiences you can let God worry about the future.

The longer you have lived, the more past you will have to go on, and the less future to worry about. That’s not to say anyone should wish they were older, but to enjoy the present because we are making memories today that will benefit us later.

More about Faith.
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Find Purpose Focusing On The Kingdom

Find Purpose Focusing On The Kingdom

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Whenever you are lost, look up. Whenever your purpose is elusive, be mindful of God’s kingdom.

Life can be confusing. God might be mysterious, but He’s not confusing. He is perfectly clear about His intentions for His people. He gave us an example of how to live in Jesus. The rest of life is just details. As long as you are seeking to be more like Jesus, you can pursue whatever course in life that God allows. God’s will is not met by choosing one particular vocation, place to live, or church, but it is met by focusing on God’s kingdom.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:33 ESV

God’s kingdom begins with the recognition that Jesus Christ, the human-God who lived among us, has something amazing to offer all of us who believe. Jesus has a past, present, and future message for you that is personal. What Jesus has to say is relevant to the whole of your life.

Purpose Has a Context

It is impossible to understand the meaning of life without the ability to see God’s kingdom. Those who can see Jesus and believe He is God will be able to hear God’s voice and know God’s will in daily living. Purpose, then, comes together in the combination of:

  • What needs to be done to further God’s kingdom.
  • What God the Father wants done at a particular moment in time.
  • What gifts and abilities God bestowed upon you.

The context for these three parts is the work God has prepared for us in advance (Ephesians 2:10). You can’t understand yourself apart from God’s creative purposes.

Purpose Has a Cost

Without the connection-to-Jesus context, any work becomes personal effort for a personal kingdom. This is why Jesus tells us to lose our sense of life in order to find life.

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Matthew 10:39 ESV, NLT

There is a necessary step in the Christian life to be willing to do anything and everything that Jesus wants for you (Luke 14:26–33). This means giving up immediate satisfaction for what will make an eternal difference if the satisfaction interferes with the building of God’s kingdom. Doing so is difficult because it comes with a cost. It takes genuine faith to pass on the immediate for the eternal.

Purpose Has a Focus

For the person who can give up their life, there is complete freedom. Purpose will no longer be clouded by sin, guilt, or shame because of a focus shift.

Without God’s perspective, you have only yourself to focus on. You will more easily become lost in your inadequacies. You can discount and overlook the wonder of being created in Christ Jesus for good works. But when you look into God’s face, you can receive His approval and diminish your shame (Psalm 34:5).

Purpose is Without Equal

Purpose is an active state of living out the unique aspects of who God created you to be in the midst of work (ministry) that is God’s will. Each person can minister God’s grace in its various forms to fulfill God’s will in unique ways (1 Peter 4:10).

Many things in life can be lost, but in Jesus, many things are found and can never be taken away. By God’s grace, you can enjoy the existence that God has given to you. The way you experience and respond to life is personal between you and God.

Read more about purpose.
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