Christ in Me: Rescuing Holiness from Despair and Self-Effort
Is Obedience a Weight or a Gift?
Many Christians live under a quiet weight: the sense that God is perpetually disappointed in them. Through obedience, we long to please Him, yet feel perpetually behind. Is obedience a burden we carry alone—or the fruit of God’s indwelling gift? Can we truly please God with our obedience, or are we destined to fall short and suffer His displeasure?
Is Obedience Possible?
In Impossible Christianity, Kevin DeYoung offers a pastoral correction to the burden of “never good enough.” He teaches that pleasing God through obedience is possible. We don’t have to live with a perpetual sense of not doing enough every day. His aim is to lift the fog of guilt and restore confidence in God’s grace and commands.
Obedience Flows From Union, Not Effort
But for those of us who’ve walked through seasons of intense loss, the message can feel incomplete. For me, focusing on obedience, without considering the Spirit and faith, risks sounding like a return to effort-based righteousness. When obedience is framed as “possible,” it can subtly imply that we can meet God’s standard—when in reality, many of us are already exhausted from trying. The ache isn’t from rebellion; it’s from longing to please God and feeling like we never quite do.
It’s not that we reject holiness. It’s that we know—deep in our bones—that holiness is impossible apart from union. Not union as a doctrine, but union as a lived reality:
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20, ESV
Obedience is not the engine of holiness—it’s the fruit. The engine is union. Christ in us is not merely the goal of obedience; He is its source.
Faith, Not Performance
DeYoung wants to rescue obedience from despair. This is helpful, but I also want to rescue obedience from self-effort. We must be clear: we can only please God by faith. Faith is complete trust in God and no trust in ourselves for spiritual life. God is the source of life and faith. We cannot think for a moment that we produce any of it—not naturally, not independently, not even partially.
Yet, faith is not passive resignation—it’s active participation in the life of Christ. It’s not effort in our strength, but activity because of His. We definitely need to grow in holiness. But our actions must be powered by Christ, not self. Any obedience that originates in our own strength is not obedience at all—it’s performance.
God empowers us and we apply His work to our lives. The sense of cooperative effort driven by God is highlighted by Paul:
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Philippians 2:12–13, ESV
The Spirit is Our Source of Life
The Christian life isn’t about trying harder to be good. It’s about surrendering deeper to the One who is good. Consider Ezekiel 36 which says it plainly:
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.
Ezekiel 36:26–27 ESV
That’s not motivational coaching. That’s divine indwelling. We must come to the realization, the conviction, that we “can’t accomplish anything apart from Christ.” We must simultaneously despair because of our lack of inherent moral goodness, while knowing that God is pleased with us as He empowers us with faith.
Our only hope is not better performance. It’s the Holy Spirit constantly showing us the way to live rightly. Not just convicting us, but empowering us. Not just guiding us, but living through us.
The Mirror of Scripture Reflects Hope
We must never lose sight of the goal: to be holy as God is holy. The standard is perfect, and it is good. Scripture is our mirror—not to shame us, but to show us where we are yet unfinished. We look into that mirror not to despair, but to surrender. It is through the lamenting of our weakness, and the honest naming of our sinfulness, that God’s power rests on us. We go forth not because we’ve measured up, but because His mercy and grace carry us.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.
2 Corinthians 4:7, ESV
A Prayer of Surrender
This is not a call to try harder. It’s a call to surrender deeper. Let this prayer be your posture—not of striving, but of abiding.
Lord,
You are holy, and Your standard is good.
We confess that we fall short—not just in action, but in affection, in trust, in surrender.
But You have not left us to strive alone.
You have given us a new heart, and your life-giving Spirit.
Christ in us—the hope of glory.
Teach us to walk not by effort, but by union.
Not by fear, but by grace.
Let Your power rest on our weakness,
and let our obedience be the fruit of Your indwelling life.
Amen.
If you feel weary from striving, take heart: obedience is not a test of your worth—it’s the evidence of His life in you. Rest in Christ. Walk by the Spirit. And let your obedience be worship, not weight.
An Invitation to Rest
If this message resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who feels weary. Holiness is not a solo pursuit—it’s a Spirit-led journey we walk together.
Learn more about love, control, and obedience.
Image generated by Matt using Copilot AI.
