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What happens when children see unity between husband and wife? A united marriage has a profound influence on children’s development, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth. This post will explore the long-term effects of a strong marital bond on children’s lives. A unified marriage creates a secure environment.
Individual health is required for a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage is required for healthy children. This seems hopelessly circular until we understand that the Godhead is already three perfect beings in perfect relationship. Generational change is possible. It starts with an individual’s decision to mature.
Trinity Unity
God uses His built-in unity to heal individuals and this will improve the associated relationships. One person’s growth will make a difference in a relationship. Husband and wife do not have to grow at the same time or the same rate. Focusing on your growth will always improve your relationships.
God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit perfectly harmonize their distinct roles. They have always existed this way so their cooperation is natural. Their interactions are seamless. There are no awkward misunderstandings. They don’t step on each others’ toes. They are completely confident, satisfied, and fulfilled in their roles.
God has infinite power, wisdom, and understanding that He can inject into any otherwise hopelessly circular system. This is the only hope for generational healing.
Community Unity
As the marriage goes, so goes the family. The relationship between husband and wife sets the tone for the entire family. Children’s development will suffer to the degree the marriage is dysfunctional.
Experiencing two people contributing their gifts to the family teaches children something they cannot learn in any other way. Healthy teamwork provides needed nutrients for children to grow. Teamwork illustrates the essentials of a healthy relationship:
- Communication: listening, understanding
- Conflict Resolution: negotiating, problem-solving
- Love: nurturing, patience, endurance, sacrifice, long-suffering
- Respect: deferring, honoring, submitting
A role is simply a facet of a person’s identity. With the right attributes, a person can fulfill a specific role. The God-given attributes of a man give him the potential to be a father. The God-given attributes of a woman give her the potential to be a mother. The attributes always precede the role. Not all women are mothers, but all mothers are women.
Male and Female Unity
No one person possesses all of God’s traits. God designed males and females to specialize in differing abilities like provision (typically male) and nurturing (typically female). The joining of a man and a woman in marriage has the potential to mirror the unity of the Godhead.
Before the two sexes can function well together, each person must develop personal unity. A person who is conflicted internally will bring this deficiency into their relationships which will result in interpersonal conflict.
The woman who is confident in her identity will be able to bring the fullness of God’s created design into all of her relationships. Likewise, a confident man will be a blessing to those he relates to. God takes this to a whole new level when He puts the two together as one.
When observed alone, man’s abilities do not seem important. But the value of a man comes alive when observed in a healthy relationship with his wife and children. He can provide what they lack. Likewise, a woman’s special abilities do not seem enough until she relates to her husband and children.
Regardless of their sex, most people can do almost everything adequately. But, a man lacks a woman’s gifting and a woman lacks a man’s gifting. Make every effort to appreciate the unique energy both bring to life. A truly gifted person will function at a much higher level for much longer. Entering this sweet spot will take years of work but that’s what will leave a rich legacy.
Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.
Galatians 6:8-10 NLT
Learn more about Marital Unity.
Image by serrano1004 from Pixabay
Matt Pavlik is a licensed professional clinical counselor who wants to see each individual restored to their true identity. He has more than 20 years of experience counseling individuals and couples at his Christian counseling practice, New Reflections Counseling. Matt and Georgette have been married since 1999 and live with their four children in Centerville, Ohio.
Matt’s courses and books contain practical exercises that help God’s truth spring to life:
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