Healing from the inside out will last for an eternity. That’s a comforting thought, isn’t it?
Many movies or TV shows involved characters being locked up in a prison. When a prisoner misbehaves, they can be sent to solitary confinement. They might be left alone with no human contact for days, weeks, or in extreme cases a few months.
Solitary confinement is not only a physically deprived environment, but it’s also an emotionally and mentally deprived one too. God made us to need social interaction. But it’s unlikely you’ll receive love exactly the way you want it and exactly when you want it.
Healing Through Connection
Healthy relationships have significant amounts of closeness and separation. Both extremes end up being obstacles to emotional growth. Too much closeness is just as bad as too little closeness. If you lack boundaries, that sense of who you are, you are vulnerable to taking on other’s emotions as if they were your own. A healthy person develops a sense of identity so they can function independently of others.
However, too much separation is no good either. With thick walls, a person won’t feel hurt by someone else. Unfortunately, the walls can become like a prison that fosters loneliness among other negative consequences.
Imagine you are in a room all alone. There are no windows or doors. It’s completely dark. No one can get in to hurt you, but neither can anyone get in to help. This is actually a good analogy for learning how to receive help.
The people on the outside have little, if any, control over what happens on the inside. All they can see is the wall you’ve put up. No one can “fix” another person without their cooperation.
On the inside, it’s possible to make a door and even open it. Any openings you allow can only be locked from the inside. You can lock others out, but they can’t lock you in. You can unlock the door, but they can’t.
Healing When You’ve Lost The Key
What happens though if you lose the key to your door? That makes healing more complicated. Perhaps your “door” has been locked so long that you don’t remember how to connect with others. Then, fearing the unknown, you are reluctant to bother to look for the key.
People on the outside might sense your struggle, but there’s no way for them to unlock the door. You want out, but you don’t know how to unlock the door. You’re so confused you don’t remember how to open up. Or, perhaps, you don’t even want to open up because your fear and shame are too intense.
When you’re trapped inside–that’s mental illness. That’s hopelessness that leads to even more severe depression and anxiety.
How much do you identify with feeling trapped like this? How long have you suffered from loneliness? It’s so easy to be trapped in a double bind. It doesn’t feel safe to stay locked up, but neither does it feel safe to open up. You desperately need help but help feels too intrusive.
Even in this situation, there is hope. God only needs your permission, then He can get inside without a key or even a door. God can bring order to the chaos inside of you. God can bring clarity. God brings understanding. God can help you open a window.
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
Revelation 3:20 NIV
God waits with His healing touch for us to desire to let Him in. Healing can only happen from the inside out. But a window lets light through both ways.
You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
Psalm 18:28 NIV
Ask Jesus to help you open the door of your heart so others’ lights can encourage you and your light can encourage them.
Read more about healing.
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Matt Pavlik is a professional counselor, author, and devoted follower of Christ. With decades of experience in Christian counseling, he writes with theological depth and everyday clarity. His resources—centered on salvation, identity, marriage, and emotional healing—are anchored in Scripture and guide believers to discover the freedom of their identity in Christ and the security of their salvation in Him. He and his wife Georgette, married since 1999, live in Centerville, Ohio, and have four adult children.
For the lost in the depressive state who is trying, does God ever come through without knocking? I believe God can and does do all things and calls His elect to Him. We will have no day or part in it. It will just happen. I am going through everything you detailed in this and I truly am thankful for the truth in it.
That’s a good question. Working out life is always a cooperative effort between God and us. We do all we can do and then let God do all He can do.
God made us to fit with Him. A believer has the Holy Spirit living within, so I don’t know it’s necessary for God to formally knock all the time. Like any relationship, it all depends on preferences and agreements. You might tell one friend they can come over any time, but others you might want them to call first. The Christian has been bought with a price. God owns everything. We owe our health to God. It makes sense to me that he’d be welcome anytime. See 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
The knocking is certainly true for the unbeliever who is an enemy to God. See James 4:4.
The believers’ spirits welcome God. But in the flesh, we can block out God with an unrepentant heart. It is our responsibility to surrender to God. God promises to forgive, restore, and establish. See 1 Peter 5:10.