• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Christian Concepts

Bringing your Potential to Light

  • Start Here
  • Insights
  • About
  • Subscribe

Archives for January 2024

Loneliness Is Deceptive

Loneliness Is Deceptive

January 21, 2024 by Matt Pavlik 3 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

What is the opposite of loneliness? It’s not necessarily being around other people or enjoying others’ company. It’s being content with who you are. It’s hard to be lonely when you are at peace with yourself.

Loneliness can be debilitating and result from the self-fulfilling prophecy of believing “I do not belong.” If left unchecked, it can develop into a disease. A disease becomes progressively worse until a cure is found. People who lack sufficient relationships will become emotionally unstable over time. This is how loneliness can become a deception–a belief that one is stuck in a trap and no escape is possible.

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

Mark Twain

While overcoming loneliness does involve other people, it’s not physical proximity to others that irradicates the disease. It’s the genuine, life-giving connection with God, others, and self in healthy balance.

Loneliness is Optional

Loneliness is real, but it’s not intractable. You can be alone and not lonely. Being comfortable with yourself means you have taken the antidote of internalized love. A Christian is never truly alone. Even though God is not usually physically felt, He is always present. You can be not alone but still feel alone if you become numb to others. You can have food but still feel hungry if you have problems digesting.

You can be not alone and not lonely. This is possible in a couple of ways. One, if you have internalized enough love, you have it stored up. You can survive in nutrient-deficient environments because you are healthy. Previous positive interactions keep you going even during a relational drought. Two, you could be with people that feed you relationally. When your genuine emotional needs are being met, it’s impossible to feel alone.

Loneliness is not Caused by People

You can be not alone and lonely. This demonstrates that other people do not automatically make loneliness go away. Healthy relationships makes a difference when they meet emotional needs. They are mean to be a conduit for emotional needs, not an end in themselves. Unhealthy (or unhelpful) relationships create emotional scars (or perpetuate neediness). Sometimes two needy people do more harm than good. Moderately needy people might bicker but still live to fight again another day. Desperately needy people can end up tearing each other apart.

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

Galatians 5:14-15 ESV

If your relationship is a place of doing more harm than good, it doesn’t mean it’s time to give up on the relationship. It just means you temporarily need help from outside the relationship. After you have internalized enough love, your relationship can thrive.

You can be alone and lonely. If you find yourself here, it’s time to put yourself in a (relatively healthy) community. There are no magic cures but neither is there a better alternative. Not everyone will be a good match for your needs but one good relationship is enough to move toward health. Even so, limiting yourself to one person will not be effective. No one person can give you everything you need.

God designed us to ultimately receive what we need from Him. But He frequently uses other people to communicate His love. If you are lonely (whether alone or not alone), your needs are not being met. It’s time to do something different until your needs are being met. Cry out to God. Tell Him what you need. Tell at least one other person what you need.

Learn more about fulfillment.
Image by Anja from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Self-Image

Forever A Child Of God

Forever A Child Of God

January 7, 2024 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

You are a child no matter how old you are. How is this possible? It’s not because you have parents. It’s because you are a child of God if you are a born-again believer. As Creator, God is the adult. As creatures, we are His children. Adults and children have different roles and responsibilities.

A Child of God is Forever Young

God is eternal. He lives outside of time. Relative to God’s “age” (essentially infinite) the oldest person alive is still like a child. This is true both in terms of physical age, but also in terms of knowledge and understanding.

What image comes to mind when you picture youth?

  • Someone who is growing quickly.
  • Someone who is learning constantly.
  • Someone who is expending energy.
  • Someone who is failing frequently.
  • Someone who prioritizes growth before productivity.

How much does your life look youthful? Young people usually do not concern themselves with being responsible for others. This can be good and bad. It’s good to invest in spiritual growth. But spiritual growth and hard work do not have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe we should prioritize growth like Mary but also contribute like Martha.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me! “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42 NIV

A Child of God is Forever Dependent

As Creator, God is the source of everything good. As creatures, we need Him. The difference between human children and adults is a good metaphor for the difference between us and God.

What image comes to mind when you picture adults?

  • Someone independent who accepts responsibility for self and potentially others.
  • Someone who can invest in the growth of others.
  • Someone who makes fewer mistakes because of lessons learned.
  • Someone who is stable and content at least some of the time.
  • Someone who balances growth and productivity.

Even with all of these benefits of being an adult, every Christian is still a child of God. In relation to God, Christians will be a blend of youth and adult. Everyone will always have more they can learn or experience. Everyone is permanently dependent upon God. Even well into eternity, we will only exist because God exists. But because we exist in the image of God, we will also be productive creators.

A Child of God is Forever Secure

God doesn’t need us but we will always need Him. An evil person would exploit this power differential for his gain. Because God lacks nothing, He has no reason to manipulate others in an attempt to extract resources from them. Instead, God is love, so His motive is love. He loves us enough that He died for us. He didn’t give up on us. He cares. He won’t give up on us.

When God won’t give up on us, that’s called security. God will discipline us to the very end to ensure we are better at being like Him.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Phillipians 1:6 NLT

Let God be God: responsible, parent, all-powerful, sustaining, love. This allows you to be you: dependent, seeking, learning, secure, child of God.

Learn more about security in God.
Image by Kris from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Only God Has Free Will
  • 9 Experiences That Drain Hope
  • Adjust Perspective For Peace And Joy
  • Marital Unity Leaves A Rich Legacy
  • 3 Reasons To Trust God Today

Recent Comments

  • 3 Stages For Improving Marriage Today - Christian Concepts on Healthy Oneness
  • Steps to live with eternal purpose on Living With Eternal Purpose: No Guts No Glory
  • Only God Has Free Will - Christian Concepts on Shame Is A Prison
  • Finance on 9 Experiences That Drain Hope
  • 9 Experiences That Drain Hope - Christian Concepts on Claim Full Assurance Of Hope

Topics

  • Abuse and Neglect
  • Betrayal
  • Boundaries
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Core Longings
  • Counseling
  • Dating to Find a Mate
  • Emotional Honesty
  • Eternal Security
  • God's Kingdom
  • Healing
  • Identity
  • Marriage
  • Self-Care
  • Self-Image
  • Spiritual Formation

Archives

  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • December 2024
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • December 2023
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • September 2017
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • June 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • February 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009

Footer

Follow

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

© 2003–2025 · New Reflections Counseling, Inc. · Christian Concepts Publishing · Privacy Policy