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Archives for September 2022

Use Your Inspiring Identity For Good

Use Your Inspiring Identity For Good

September 25, 2022 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 6 minutes

Your identity is God’s gift to you so you can enjoy God and His creation. God also made you for others’ benefit. So, what good is your identity if you keep it hidden?

No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.

Matthew 5:15 NLT

This verse made its way into a children’s song: This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. Hide it under a bushel? No!

Everyone is made in God’s image. Believers have the Holy Spirit as a permanent dwelling companion. This qualifies all believers to come out of hiding. You have a light to shine.

Are You Afraid of Your Own Identity?

Often though, people are afraid of what will happen if they stay true to who they are.

  • I can’t tell my husband how I really feel. It would hurt his feelings.
  • I can’t take that promotion. Mark has worked here longer than I have.
  • I can’t tell my friend I don’t want to be in her wedding.
  • I can’t tell my neighbor his dog is too loud.

If you aren’t living up to your God-given potential, then you aren’t fulfilling God’s plan for your life. Likewise, if you aren’t being emotionally honest, you are minimizing your impact because of shame, or fear of rejection.

What you say or do will have an impact on someone. That’s what it means to be a person. You can’t be a healthy person and avoid that. God intends for you to use your identity to make a difference in the lives of others. But this can only be done without pretense.

Yet, many people struggle with being genuine. This is understandable because the problem of what to reveal to others can be complicated. While we all need a place where we can be as transparent as we need to be, there are also times when the people in our lives aren’t ready for it.

Do You Respect Others’ Identities?

What if being who we are would cause someone else pain? Paul addresses this in the context of faith.

Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right.

Romans 14:13,22 NLT

There are situations where God would have us keep our convictions to ourselves. We aren’t supposed to force our convictions onto another believer. We aren’t supposed to condemn or judge another believer in areas left to personal opinion.

While everyone has an ideal identity, we are all works in progress. In some areas, your friend might have a weaker understanding of their identity in Christ. In other areas, you might not understand the freedom that you have.

Even for ourselves, if we have doubts about a particular belief or action, we should seek clarity before taking action. God wants to act according to the faith we have. Faith is the road one must travel in order to please God (Romans 12:3, Hebrews 11:6).

For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

Romans 14:23 ESV

To further complicate matters, perhaps, as a child, you heard your parent tell you:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s better to not say anything at all.

And, Jesus says that we are to:

Treat others how you would want them to treat you (Luke 6:31).

Can You Act With a Confident Identity?

How then can a person follow these seemingly opposing principles:

  • Be emotionally honest with what is in your heart.
  • Don’t cause others to stumble.

The right approach is determined by:

  1. Who you talk to
  2. How you tell them and how much you tell them
  3. What the consequences are for speaking or remaining silent

There’s a difference between staying true to your identity and condemning someone because of your beliefs. God wants you to be true to Him first, then true to yourself. But He also commands us to not pass judgment on someone because of their convictions (Romans 14:3).

Condemning someone for their beliefs is outsides the bounds of the authority God gives us. It’s up to God to approve or disapprove (Romans 14:4). But sharing your heart within an intimate relationship such as marriage is another situation entirely. Emotional healing can take place only when we share transparently what is in our hearts.

Suppose a person is married with children. This person feels stress from being a parent to young children. If you were this person, what could you do to stay true to your identity while not harming others? Evaluate the situation by determining the context.

  1. Who: Expecting young children to understand stress is unrealistic and it could burden them with something that isn’t their responsibility or problem. Instead, you can talk to your spouse, friend, or counselor.
  2. How: Tell your children in non-blaming age-appropriate language. “I need a break. Your grandparents are going to watch you for a while.”
  3. What: This comes down to how stressed you are. If a good night’s rest will take care of it, then maybe you don’t need to do anything else.

Suppose instead that you aren’t feeling attracted to your spouse anymore. What could you do?

  1. Who: Expecting your spouse to listen to your feelings about this is reasonable and necessary to improve the relationship. Are they in a position to handle it right now? Speak to them directly if possible, otherwise temporarily consider a friend or counselor.
  2. How: Be clear and sincere. If you want a better relationship realize it can take time to work through all the issues. It’s important to stay committed to the process. Seek to understand and be understood before you seek a solution.
  3. What: Silence doesn’t seem like an option. How can you have a fulfilling, intimate relationship if you can’t be honest? It’s the honesty that can lead to greater intimacy.

The key to resolving difficult scenarios like these is to realize that honesty is the first step in finding a resolution. Other people can’t help with your problems if they don’t know about them. Yes, they might not always like what you are saying, but hiding the problem is never a helpful strategy. Shame is a problem; hiding can feel better, but finding acceptance is the solution.

Hiding denies the problem which only allows it to grow. Facing the problem, with faith, God’s help, and others’ help might be unpleasant at first, but it always allows for the best possible outcome.

Allowing others to see you as you really are will be a priceless gift. If done with humility, it can inspire hope because of the testimony of how God will be able to heal your heart.

Read more about the hope of emotional healing.
Image by Petra from Pixabay

Filed Under: Emotional Honesty, Identity

Sensible Risk With God As Your Safety Net

Sensible Risk With God As Your Safety Net

September 11, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

Are you a risk-taker? That depends, you might say.

For some people, the risk is almost always worth the reward. They take a leap forward. They see staying at the same spot as even riskier than the unknown that lies ahead.

For some people, the predictability of remaining the same is its own reward. A leap might become a fall. A fall becomes a failure. It’s too much of a hassle.

For even others, risk is a no-brainer when what is at stake is worthwhile. Is my family in danger? Is my faith in Christ threatened? Nothing would prevent me from fighting for what I care about.

Whatever your preference, everyone has their limit on passivity. That’s because God wired us to care about what matters. We are made in His image, so we are willing to die for what is valuable. What is valuable to you?

Faith Appears to Involve Risk

Imagine a tightrope anchored between two tall buildings. You are on one side with a crowd of people. One man shouts, “Do you believe I can cross this rope to the other side?” The crowd cheers, “Yes!” The man shouts again, “Do you believe I can push a barrel while crossing?” The crowd cheers, “Yes!” The man shouts again, “How about if a person is inside the barrel and I am blindfolded?” The crowd answers, “Yes!” Finally, the man says, “Who will get into the barrel?” The crowd only responds with silence.

What is important enough to you to get into the barrel? Maybe you will get into the barrel because you can see the value in what is on the other side. But God doesn’t usually provide a clear picture of what that will be. He wants trust. Maybe then you will get into the barrel because God is asking you to.

Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.

Isaiah 26:4 NLT

Faith is Different than Risk

If God is asking you to get into the barrel, the request is actually much easier to fulfill. God rewards those who trust in Him. What if God wants you to let someone else (an imperfect human) push you across? The choice is still easy enough. God is the safety net below the rope. If you fall, He will catch you. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to grow in your trust.

Crossing to the other side means experiencing life. It means life. Nothing else should be more important than God and what He wants for your life.

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.

Matthew 16:25 NLT

On the other hand, there is no need for a safety net if you have no plans to cross the rope.

What is Faith?

It’s trusting that God is working in you in ways that inspire action. It’s a sensible risk with God as your safety net. Without faith, it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).

Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Philippians 2:12-13 NLT

God clearly wants to give you the desire and ability to please Him. All that you need to do is cooperate with His desire. Can you meet God with your enthusiastic agreement? Help me to desire what you want. Grant me the power to do what pleases you. When I am confused, guide me on the right path forward.

Does that path you are on seem confusing? Are you unsure if you are moving in the right direction? Check your heart. If your path involves sin, it’s the wrong path. Otherwise, if you desire to be on the path, stay on that path and trust God will guide you. To continue reflecting on this idea, read Psalm 23.

Read more about faith and risk.
Image by Mote Oo Education from Pixabay

Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, Identity

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