• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Christian Concepts

Bringing your Potential to Light

  • Start Here
  • Insights
  • About
  • Subscribe

self-acceptance

How to Overcome Negativity

February 1, 2020 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Think of a profound, life-changing moment. What took place that made such a difference? I’ll bet the moment had something to do with accepting yourself the way God made you. Seeing yourself from a fresh perspective (God’s perspective) changes your life.

These moments don’t happen all the time, but you can make a leap forward today. What are some signs that you are due for one of these incredible moments?

I could list off a bunch of symptoms, but the end result to watch for is a heaviness brought on by negativity. Are you consistently pessimistic or discouraged? Are you consistently feeling rejected or unwanted? Does it feel like a cloud of doom is following you around?

Negativity becomes a real problem when it becomes a normal way of life. You can’t feel great all the time, but you shouldn’t be thinking that you “just have a negative personality.” Negativity isn’t a permanent problem; it’s a weight you weren’t meant to carry.

You have blind spots for good reason. Only God is omnipresent (a fancy way to say He is all-seeing). But having blind spots doesn’t mean you have to settle for ruts in your thinking.

Can you be so familiar with how you feel about yourself that you are unaware of a bias against yourself? It feels so normal it goes undetected. I do it all the time and I’m guessing you do too.

The negative bias you are carrying is a heavy load. Jesus has something to say about heavy loads. He says drop them when they serve no purpose or they block you from the life He intends.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

Jesus wants you to thrive. Immediately after these verses, chapter 12 has several stories of how the Pharisees put heavy burdens on their people. Jesus doesn’t want you to be weighed down with man-made rules and requirements.

The question to ask becomes, “What rules, requirements, and burdens am I carrying that are completely unnecessary?”

God wants us to be anxious for nothing. Acceptance is the antidote to worry. If you can accept God for who He is and yourself for who He made you to be, you are most of the way there (toward loving your neighbor as yourself). When you accept someone you love them. Self-acceptance both rejects who you aren’t and embraces who you are.

If you want to dig deeper into this, work through my book Confident Identity: Christian Strategies to Forget Who You Aren’t and Discover Who You Really Are. To take one step further, read this post I wrote last year:

Find and Accept Your True Self

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Self-Image Tagged With: self-acceptance

Find and Accept Your True Self

July 6, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

If you’re unable to accept yourself, you’re missing out on the joy that comes from contentment. God created you as you are for a specific reason. Life’s bumps and bruises can lead you to believe you have to be someone more or less than you are.

If you are not gifted athletically (or choose another ability), but compare yourself to those that are, you’ll always come up short and feel less than.

Have you ever tried something and felt inadequate? Or maybe someone told you that you didn’t measure up? If you can walk away understanding, “this isn’t for me,” then you have a healthy perspective. If you conclude that you are defective, then you are making it personal and that isn’t helpful.

Are you measuring yourself against the right ruler? God measures you by His original design. Everything else will give you a faulty or inaccurate measurement.

But more than that, you’ll feel miserable because there is no way for you to win. Proverbs 11:1 declares that God detests deception in dealings with others. How can you deal honestly with others if you don’t first deal honestly with your own value?

It’s possible to think you accept yourself when you really don’t. It’s possible to live with the heavy burden of trying to be who you think God wants you to be. But that can be different than who God knows you to be.

Are you living with an uncomfortable tension of always pushing yourself to reach some ever-elusive goal? If so, you’re never going to reach self-acceptance.

Below are 6 questions to help you assess how close your presented self (how others see you) is to your ideal self (how you see you). Answer the first 3 questions to determine your ideal self and the second 3 questions to define how you feel obligated to act to fulfill life’s demands.

  1. The thing I like most about myself is…
  2. I’m at my best when I contribute…
  3. I feel most connected to God when I…
  4. Others appreciate me for…
  5. My job requires me to…
  6. I feel like a fish out of water when I…

Now, compare your answers between all the questions. How consistent (or inconsistent) are you? Bonus question: Who does God say you are?

Imagine what it will feel like if your ideal self and God’s ideal for you are the same. That’s self-acceptance.

Is self-acceptance clear to you? Are you amazed by God’s goodness that He created us to enjoy Him and enjoy who He made you to be? If not, what seems to be hindering your understanding?

Image by Janine Bolon from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Self-Care Tagged With: self-acceptance

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Meaning And Pleasure Are Surprising Related
  • Crave Optimal Ways Of Living
  • What You Need To Succeed
  • Seize Freedom And Faith To Dream Big
  • 3 Ways To Protect Your Relationship With God

Never miss an insight

Recent Comments

  • Meaning And Pleasure Are Surprising Related - Christian Concepts on Increase Your Motivation Just In Time
  • Deb on Guard Your Heart Or You Will Become Lost
  • Crave Optimal Ways Of Living - Christian Concepts on What Heaven Will Be Like
  • What You Need To Succeed - Christian Concepts on Are You Too Needy Or Not Needy Enough?
  • Michael on Seize Freedom And Faith To Dream Big

Topics

  • Abuse and Neglect
  • Betrayal
  • Boundaries
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Core Longings
  • Counseling
  • Dating and Divorce
  • Emotional Honesty
  • Eternal Security
  • God's Kingdom
  • Healing
  • Identity
  • Marriage
  • Publishing
  • Self-Care
  • Self-Image
  • Sexual Identity
  • Spiritual Formation

Archives

  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • September 2017
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • June 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • February 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009

Footer

Follow

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

© 2003–2022 · New Reflections Counseling, Inc. · Christian Concepts Publishing · Privacy Policy