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Crave Optimal Ways Of Living

Crave Optimal Ways Of Living

July 17, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

What would you consider to be the optimal lifestyle? Do you wish you could be independently wealthy? Do you wish you could be a superhero? Perhaps your aspirations aren’t so lofty. Maybe all you hope for is to not be so extremely poor or lonely or hurt.

The simple life is an optimal way of living. Fabricating a disguise to hide who you are complicates life. Having too much or too little complicates life.

O God, I beg two favors from you;
    let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
    Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
    Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
    And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.

Proverbs 30:7-9 NLT

Optimal Living: Not Too Low

No one craves to be poor or depressed. But some people choose to default to an understimulating life. They’ve given up on trying to make life more interesting. Having too little to do leads to boredom. People who feel bored feel useless. They lack a sense of purpose.

If life becomes so easy that people no longer need to put any effort into it, why do they need to exist? They can live only to enjoy this life. They can consume but no longer need to produce anything of value.

A hard worker has plenty of food,
    but a person who chases fantasies has no sense.

Proverbs 12:11 NLT

People who chase fantasies or retire early only to pursue self-indulgence have lost their lives. They are missing out on the abundant life God has for them (Matthew 10:39).

God has a plan for every person. Every believer has something to contribute to God’s plan to grow and strengthen His kingdom. If believers are bored, it’s because they are ignoring God’s call on their lives.

Optimal Living: Not Too High

If you won the lottery, you probably wouldn’t voluntarily give the money back. But sometimes too much of a good thing is dangerous.

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

1 Timothy 6:10 NLT

Having too much can be a massive distraction. If people are preoccupied with money, they can’t be focused on God.

The same applies to people who are too stressed. Too many earthly responsibilities can distract a person from pursuing God’s kingdom.

Optimal Living: Just Right

The person who is bored and the person who is overwhelmed are both blinded. They are under-challenged and over-challenged. When life becomes either too easy or too hard, people usually give up. The bored person says I have nothing worthwhile to do. And the overwhelmed person says It’s impossible to do anything worthwhile.

People who experience the optimal life have found the sweet spot between those extremes. To produce the maximum amount of enjoyment, tasks need to be, on average, challenging enough for us to wonder if we’re going to complete them, but not so challenging that we become convinced we will never be able to complete them.

God made you in such a way that you are healthiest and happiest when you desire to accomplish something that is somewhat of a stretch for you. This applies not only to work but also to play.

Soccer wouldn’t be much fun for the players or spectators if every shot went in. Where is the fun in that? It’s not exciting. Likewise, if no shot ever went in, what would be the point? After a predictable pattern emerged, no one would want to play (ever).

A mixture of unpredictability along with possibility maximizes life satisfaction.

If you think about it, that presents a clear picture of who God is. God is unpredictable but also full of potential. Whether we are in this life or the next, we can always look to God with wonder. What will we learn about Him next? What is He going to do next?

Life won’t be boring or overwhelming in heaven, it will be optimal.

What Heaven Will Be Like
Photo from PxHere

Filed Under: Identity, God's Kingdom Tagged With: wonder

What Heaven Will Be Like

September 29, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

What is your best possible interpretation of what heaven will be like?

More importantly though, how would knowing the best possible interpretation impact the way you live today? How would your quality of life improve?

Can We Know What Heaven Will Be Like?

I like to spend time thinking about heaven because it lifts my spirit to remember that the difficulties of present-day life won’t last forever. God has something much better planned. By reading only 1 Corinthians 2:9, it’s easy to believe that no one can understand how great heaven will be.

But it is just as the Scriptures say,
“What God has planned
    for people who love him
is more than eyes have seen
    or ears have heard.
It has never even
    entered our minds!”

1 Corinthians 2:9 (CEV)

But, The Living Bible (TLB) translation communicates the full idea in context:

That is what is meant by the Scriptures which say that no mere man has ever seen, heard, or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord.

1 Corinthians 2:9 (TLB)

No mere man has ever. A “mere man” is one who isn’t connected to God by the Holy Spirit. If you have the Spirit of God living inside of you, then you aren’t a mere man.

God’s Spirit has shown you everything. His Spirit finds out everything, even what is deep in the mind of God.

1 Corinthians 2:10 (CEV)

The TLB drives home the point further:

But we know about these things because God has sent his Spirit to tell us, and his Spirit searches out and shows us all of God’s deepest secrets.

1 Corinthians 2:10 (TLB)

You can know more about heaven than you realize. What is your best possible interpretation of what heaven will be like? What is the Holy Spirit telling you about heaven?

What We Know About Heaven

I like John 14:2 because I can picture a permanent home that God has for me.

Revelation 21:4 and 22:3 assure me that pain and suffering will be no more.

With sin and suffering gone, what will remain? You might feel like your current life isn’t worth living, but what about a perfect heaven? Will there be anything worth doing? Will you be bored?

It’s hard not to think about what you feel most deprived of on earth instead of what will be most positive in heaven. To get around this, try asking what heaven will be like at two distinct times.

First, when you are at your worst. If you’ve exercised for a while without access to water, you’d equate heaven to a glass of water. Before you object, consider how much Esau gave up when he was famished (see Genesis 25).

Now, let’s assume you’re well fed, had a good night’s sleep, and you’re in a good mood. You’re happy. What do you imagine heaven will be like? It will still be way better.

Even though I don’t know specifically what we’ll be doing, I know we won’t be bored. God has something better planned. Your afterlife days will always be better than your best present-day life.

Without sin to distract us and sabotage our progress, we’ll focus on building something bigger than ourselves. As Christ’s bride, we can partner with Christ to accomplish something greater than the best of things we have now.

Are you frustrated with having to make decisions all the time? Some decisions are heartbreaking because there’s no optimal option – only the lessor of two evils. But in heaven, such difficult decisions won’t exist.

I’m looking forward to heaven where I can have my cake and eat it too. I won’t have to worry about the FOMO (the fear of missing out). In heaven, we’ll never be out of step (out of unity) with God and His purposes. We’ll have time for both community and individual interests.

Heaven will be like a multi-layered cake. We’ll be able to taste all the layers at the same time in a perfect mixture. The reality of heaven will allow us to experience true:

  1. Devotion: we can worship without rebellion.
  2. Identity: we can create without obstacles.
  3. Productivity: we can serve without fatigue.
  4. Intimacy: we can fellowship without fear or shame.
  5. Understanding: we can learn without confusion.
  6. Peace: we can rest without worry. (a)

For now, you’ll need to find some way to balance your life. Sometimes, you can eat half your cake, and sometimes you might not get any at all. But however much cake you have, you can be satisfied with that, especially when you can have some idea of what having the whole piece must taste like.

How are you struggling to keep your life balanced? What aspect of heaven do you daydream about? What is your best possible interpretation of what heaven will be like? Share your picture of heaven in a comment.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay
(a) adapted from a list found on https://www.biblestudytools.com

Filed Under: Identity, God's Kingdom, Spiritual Formation

What You Need To Succeed

What You Need To Succeed

July 3, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

Do you have what you need to succeed in life? This question is similar to, “How are you?” It’s easy to give simple, “I’m fine” or “Sure, I have what I need” answers. But what if I really wanted to know and you took the time to give a sincere answer?

What is required for your success? This might be a tricky question to answer for several reasons:

  • You’ve been trained to believe it’s too selfish.
  • No one has ever given you what you need.
  • The answer will be too personal.

God Wants You to Ask for What You Need

God is always looking for ways to redeem His people. When Adam and Eve felt shame for the first time, God developed short-term and long-term plans to help them succeed. Ultimately He fulfilled His own laws for us so that we can live without the shame of failure (1 Peter 2:24). But He also immediately provided clothing for Adam and Eve.

Even though everyone between Adam and those alive today has suffered, God hasn’t stopped taking care of us. He instructs us to ask Him for good gifts. What you need is nutritious for you, so it’s worth asking for it.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11 NIV

Asking and Receiving What You Need isn’t Selfish

When you consider what you need, it might stir up feelings of shame. Am I worthy of being cared for? I’m so insignificant. Why would God bother to love me? My needs aren’t important. I have nothing to offer God in return. I’ve gone my whole life without my desires being met; why would anything change now? I don’t know what I need.

All of these thoughts can be summarized as “I doubt my needs will ever be met.” This belief can develop from years of disappointment. Then, it’s possible to “forget” what your needs are or that you even have them.

What if God asked you how you were doing? You might wonder if God really cares. You might think that He wants you to give a quick and cheerful response like “I’m totally blessed! I already have everything I could ever wish for.” Unless you are feeling completely content, it’s not an honest answer.

How can you become more aware of what you need?

What would feed your soul so that you have the energy to enjoy life and help others? What would be so awesome to have that it would seem unbelievable if God gave it to you? If you are struggling to answer questions like these, try some of the following:

  • When you are angry, ask yourself what would help you feel calm.
  • When you are sad, ask what you desire to feel happy.
  • When you are afraid, ask what you are lacking or what would help you feel safe.
  • How would you like to be celebrated?
  • What is the best gift anyone could give you?
  • When have you felt most loved?

For all of these, state your answer in terms of yourself, not other people. Don’t conclude, “I wouldn’t be angry if you didn’t yell at me.” Instead, try “I need to believe I am valuable.”

Then, the next step is to share your needs with the people in your life.

Read more about neediness.
Image by seth0s from Pixabay

Filed Under: Core Longings, Emotional Honesty, Identity, Self-Care

Seize Freedom And Faith To Dream Big

Seize Freedom And Faith To Dream Big

June 25, 2022 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 3 minutes

Does your life more closely serve as an example of slavery or freedom?

Slaves feel trapped most of the time. They feel helpless to change their circumstances. If slaves ever gain freedom, they will have nothing to show for their prior work.

In contrast, free people feel lighthearted most of the time. They have an inheritance coming so they don’t worry about the future. A free person is a partner, an owner, an equal, or a participant.

Freedom Allows You to Dream Big

For most people, slavery is a prison imposed by the mind. Depressed people are slaves to their discouraging belief systems. Anxious people are slaves to their fears. To them, it seems like there is no other way to think.

What is the real meaning of freedom?

If you believe this life (on earth, apart from God) has something left to offer you, you will probably be frequently disappointed. However, nothing can stop you once you realize this life isn’t a source of lasting happiness (Matthew 16:25). Nothing can hold you hostage. You are free to live completely with your values (hopefully the same as God’s values). Nothing can cause you to compromise your values. You can live with integrity.

However, just because you no longer need something from this life, doesn’t mean you should stop participating. As you participate in life, as God’s ambassador, you can bring God’s love to other people.

What is an example of freedom?

Braveheart and Gladiator are old movies now, but they still communicate this idea of freedom. William Wallace ultimately gave his life in pursuit of freedom. Maximus restored freedom too. Both experience severe betrayal and loss.

Faith Allows You to Dream Big

Can God use you beyond your capacity? Yes and no. Yes, you can participate in what God is doing and witness Him accomplishing infinitely more than you can imagine. No, God won’t stretch you beyond His design for you.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

Ephesian 3:16-21 NLT

To believe everything in the Ephesians passage requires faith. Faith expands your capacity spiritually. You might not be physically capable of more, but God is.

What are some ways you can move away from slavery and move toward freedom (Galatians 5:1)?

  • When you pray, are you focused too much on issues that only concern your comfort in this life? If so, consider how God wants to partner with you to accomplish His big plans.
  • Are you a people-pleaser to a fault? Do you instantly compromise your values to keep the peace with others? If so, write down your values. Then, increase your resolve over time to not throw out these God-given life lessons and principles.
  • Do you see yourself as a hired hand or a child of God (Luke 15:11-32)? A child will ask with much greater boldness.
  • Is the prison door open, but you are still inside? If so, take the risk to leave your cell. No one who trusts God will ever be put to shame (Psalm 25:1-3).

God won’t give you everything you ever wanted, but He will give you everything you need to accomplish what He has planned. You can gain a sense of what that is as you understand by faith who you are and who God is.

Find Freedom Through Grieving
Find Freedom Through Experiencing Jesus
Image from Pexels

Filed Under: God's Kingdom, Identity, Spiritual Formation Tagged With: faith

Emotional Healing Is Possible For You Today

Emotional Healing Is Possible For You Today

June 12, 2022 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

God won’t always grant you more money or heal your body. But the Holy Spirit is always ready to provide emotional healing.

Are you being serious, Matt? I’ve been suffering for years. I don’t believe it. God doesn’t care about my pain. Does He?

Yes, I am serious. The Holy Spirit’s purpose is to guide believers into the truth. If you think about it, that’s the definition of emotional healing. You have a personal guide who can help you become intimately acquainted with God’s truth. Healing is more than learning facts, it’s an emotional experience of the truth.

The only caveat is that you must ask for and seek healing using biblical principles. Transformation is highly desirable, but not necessarily guaranteed (without effort on your part) or easily obtained. You have to really want it.

If you want this valuable transformation, you need to pursue it with Faith, Boldness, Persistence, and Humility.

Emotional Healing Requires Faith

Faith allows the believer to see spiritually. If you are going to approach God, it needs to be with a clear view of who God is. You need the ability to trust God and stay focused on His character!

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Hebrews 11:6 ESV

If you struggle with believing God cares about you and wants you to thrive, then your first task is to ask God for the faith to see Him clearly.

Emotional Healing Requires Boldness

Boldness in this case means you seek without any kind of pretending or bashfulness. You must approach God with authenticity. You speak clearly. You tell it like it is!

In [Christ Jesus our Lord] we have boldness and access [to God] with confidence through our faith in him.

Ephesians 3:12 ESV

If you are afraid to approach God with what is on your heart, seek out another believer or a counselor who can help you develop boldness.

Emotional Healing Requires Persistence

God’s treasures are not left in the open for all to find. Only those people who really want to find the secrets to life will find them. To find them requires persistence. Do you understand the value of what you are seeking?

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

Matthew 13:44 ESV

I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Proverbs 8:17 ESV

If you are tired and want to give up before you reach your goal, ask God for the energy to continue your pursuit.

Emotional Healing Requires Humility

If you want help, you must first prepare your heart to receive help. Desperation is a form of humility that God desires from us. God, you are my only hope! What I want is important and you are the only one who can supply my need.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1 ESV

In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, “There is no God.”

Psalm 10:4 ESV

Emotional Healing is the subject of an experiential course I’ve developed. To heal emotionally requires that you are willing to:

  • Understand what your heart needs and doesn’t need.
  • Learn healthy ways to manage your pain.
  • Remember uncomfortable experiences.
  • Confront negative beliefs with the truth of who God is and who you are.
  • Feel and express your emotions.
  • Stop avoiding pain in ways that do more harm than good.
  • Emphasize seeking God and bringing your pain to Him.

While I’m putting the finishing touches on Emotional Healing, it’s available for a substantial discount. From now until Independence Day (July 4, 2022), you can purchase it for $44 instead of $100. Today could be the day you declare independence from the lies that lower your self-worth.

The first lesson is available to preview without any obligation. Also, this post is based on one of the exercises in the course.

Image from Pexels

Filed Under: Healing, Abuse and Neglect, Core Longings, Emotional Honesty, Identity, Self-Care, Self-Image

Be Authentic And You Will Belong

Be Authentic And You Will Belong

May 15, 2022 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 3 minutes

Having high expectations is good as long as they don’t come at the cost of being authentic. So, are expectations good or bad?

When you expect too much of yourself, you can never achieve an authentic life. If you are always chasing after some ideal standard, you won’t be able to appreciate who you are in the moment. An inauthentic life is never profoundly satisfying.

However, if you don’t expect enough of yourself, you also won’t be able to achieve an authentic life. You’ll be resigned to your shortcomings. You’ll assume that the way you are today is as good as it gets.

Be Authentic: It’s Okay to Cry

One common way to be inauthentic is to hold back your tears. Big boys or girls don’t cry. But what does it cost you to maintain the appearance that nothing phases you?

Keeping your feelings stuffed inside splits you in two psychologically. The public (or visible) you takes on too high expectations while the private (or hidden) you takes on too low expectations. This puts you in a body that is trying to be two different people at the same time. The more a person insists on living this way, the more likely they will experience a psychological breakdown.

No one should have to pretend to have their life together just to keep a relationship. But it’s all too common for someone to believe I’m too much or I’m too little.

Be Authentic: It’s Okay to Risk

The person you are today isn’t all that God has planned you to be. While being genuine doesn’t mean pretending to be someone greater than you are, it also doesn’t mean embracing a negative self-image. The one is too prideful while the other is too humble.

To seek to be closer to who you really are requires risking exposure. Some people will find out you aren’t who you’ve been leading them to believe. You might also find out that you’re never going to be like someone you idolize. Both of these realizations can produce some sadness.

If you’re going to choose an authentic life, be prepared for some initial disillusionment. But it should resolve quickly. If you work at accepting your God-given identity, you’ll find you’ve only lost what was never true and gained what was always true.

Be Authentic to Maximize Your Belonging

God wants us to embrace exactly who we are: who He made us to be. He gives each of us the faith to see our true selves. Because God planned for you to be your authentic self, you will automatically belong with Him and all your other spiritual brothers and sisters.

You must be willing to understand your identity and act with integrity because others are depending on you to be authentic.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

Romans 12:2-5 NLT

Don’t compromise who you are (God’s design) for any reason.

Would anyone like to share some ways they struggle to be authentic?

Read more about being genuine.
Image by Stephanie Ghesquier from Pixabay

Filed Under: Self-Image, Identity

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