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What You Value Determines Your Worth

What You Value Determines Your Worth

August 14, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

In the familiar Matthew 6 passage, I’ve replaced “treasure” with “value.”

“Do not store up for yourselves [value] on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves [value] in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your [value] is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:19-21 NIV

This passage teaches us to value what will last forever over what can be lost. Later in verse 24, it teaches that a person cannot serve both God and money. However, just because you don’t serve money, doesn’t mean you automatically value the right things in the right ways. Do you value God and yourself in the right way?

God’s Value of You is Constant

To value yourself and God appropriately first requires understanding God’s perspective on life. Life moves through four phases, segmented by physical and spiritual birth and death:

  1. God knew who you were before you were born. He’d have to in order to create you.
  2. God also knew you while you were alienated from Him in sin.
  3. God knows who you are as a member of His spiritual family. Believers are God’s children.
  4. Finally, God knows who you will be when you are in heaven.

God’s perspective on who you are will always be different than your perspective. God sees your life in full from beginning to end (though eternal life has no end). You, however, can only become gradually aware of who you are.

God is a constant. His character is perfect and stable. He is the same today as He was in eternity past and the same as He will be in the future. Even though God’s character doesn’t change, He is still open to relationships. He has feelings about His creation. He is moved with compassion.

But we are made in God’s image, not the other way around. We share some characteristics of God, but He will always have more because He is God and we are not. God’s ways are higher than our ways. He is always several steps ahead of us.

God is love. If God is constant, then so is His love. What does this mean for you? It’s possible to break free from anxious moments. No matter how low you’ve been in life, God’s plan of redemption will eventually bring you higher. Your worth is based on who you are, not what you’ve done. You can change and leave the past behind.

Your Value of You is Changing

Your memories begin much later than God’s. From your perspective, you start out of God’s favor and must become in His favor. Before becoming a Christian, all you know is an antagonistic (at worst) or an indifferent (at best) relationship with God. Your start in debt. You are helpless to save yourself. You will be indebted to God for saving your life.

The prodigal son returned to God not with the attitude of a son, but as a lowly person undeserving of God’s goodness toward those He favors. The father treated his son as a son. The prodigal didn’t refuse his father’s offer. He went to the party his father threw for him. Read Luke 15:11-32 for the whole story.

Over the course of the story, the prodigal’s opinion of himself changed from “high apart from God” to “low apart from God” to “humble but accepting of God’s favor.” We can infer that he eventually felt overwhelmingly positive about himself because of God’s love.

Can you see how you are going through the same journey? How far along are you in accepting God’s favor? When life goes well, it’s easy to be over-confident. Prideful people believe that they don’t need God. One way or another life brings prideful people low. In a moment of weakness, it is a gift for people can recognize their need for God.

A person dependent upon God will develop genuine confidence that is balanced. You can have high self-worth if you base your worth on what God says about you. The truth of what God says will set you free from self-doubt.

What are some self-doubting beliefs that are holding you back from living your life with greatness? God doesn’t want you to live oppressed. That’s the work of the devil. God doesn’t want you to live arrogantly either, unable to see that all good things come from Him. That would also be the devil’s work.

God wants you to know your incredible value and know His incredible value. When you truly value both, you’ll be unstoppable.

Read more about discovering your worth.
Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

Filed Under: Self-Image, Identity

The Danger Of Trusting Too Much

The Danger Of Trusting Too Much

April 24, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 6 minutes

Trust is essential for healthy relationships. So much so that you might wonder if trusting too much is even possible. Wouldn’t more be better?

Is trusting too much the same as loving too much or eating too much chocolate? How can you go wrong with something so good that is often in short supply? Anything used beyond its intended capacity or function can become harmful.

Trusting Too Much

Would you walk across a room in broad daylight? Most people wouldn’t have a problem with this. How about walking across the same room at night? While more challenging, most people could handle this. But what would happen if I had thrown out a handful of thumbtacks onto the floor?

Yes, it is possible to trust too much. It’s called blind trust. No one will fault you for it–possibly only yourself, after the fact. That’s because your trust benefits others. It will benefit you too, but only up to a point.

It might be helpful to think of trust not so much as an all-or-nothing blank check, but as something that you grant others in varying degrees. Asking whether you should trust someone oversimplifies the problem. Forcing a “Yes” or “No” leaves too much room for error. And the more error, the more people will be hurt.

To minimize the hurt, a better, more refined question is “How much do I trust this person?”

Trust has a natural limit or capacity much like a cup. If you fill a cup beyond its capacity, you will make a mess and waste your refreshing drink. With this analogy, the cup is the other person’s trustworthiness and the liquid is the length you go to trust them. Before you fill the cup it’s better to estimate how much it can hold. Does it have holes? Try to determine an individual’s character and trustworthiness.

Trust is a commodity that has a limited supply. If you give too much away… if you waste it… you might be unwilling to trust when you really want to.

Trusting too much is like giving away an essential body part and expecting the recipient will be able to keep you alive. It’s depending on someone for something they can’t possibly give you. You were never meant to function that way.

By trusting too much, you open yourself to being taken advantage of. Others might benefit, but only at your expense. When that happens, you are going to get hurt. The more you feel hurt, the more you are likely to decrease your level of trust.

While protecting yourself is wise in some cases, it’s never the best option all the time. Overprotecting yourself to prevent ever being hurt again goes too far. You might trust too little as a general rule you apply to everyone (even the people who are trustworthy). Instead of discerning if people are trustworthy (which requires much more effort), you predetermine to not trust anyone by withholding real consideration.

Trusting Too Little

Some people choose to trust too little. This is called mistrust. What if the person you are in a relationship with is trustworthy but you aren’t capable of trusting? That’s going to slow down your relationship, maybe to the point of breaking it.

Let’s return to the cup analogy. What if you go to fill another’s cup and realize you only have a few drops of trust that you’re willing to spare? If the other person has the capacity for trust, then you can be the limiting factor in the relationship.

How would a teenager feel about a mom who walks him to school and sits with him in class? Assuming the teenager typically makes it to school on his own and participates in class, this extreme hovering would degrade the relationship. The teen would probably either begin to rebel (which would be healthy) or suffer from low confidence (which would be unhealthy).

In an extreme case, trusting too little is called paranoia. A mom might have skipped school when she was a teenager. Perhaps she suffered from low self-esteem because her classmates teased her. She could over-emphasize her past hurts and then project them onto her son. It’s possible she feels too vulnerable even when her surrounding environment is safe.

It’s important to notice in this example that the amount of trust this mom allows isn’t based on her experience and observations of her teenager but based on her experiences and observations of herself.

Trusting Just Right

What is a person to do? If you trust too much, you can be hurt. If you trust too little, you hinder your relationships. The right amount of trust is called perceptive trust. The person engaged in perceptive trust is open to trusting others to the degree that they show themselves trustworthy. That’s exercising discernment.

Trust is evidence of a healthy relationship. But because no one is completely trustworthy except God, the cautions about trusting too much still apply. Even when you rightly determine a high level of integrity in a person, the amount of trust you place in an imperfect human should still be limited. Trusting too much will break your relationships with other humans. Others can’t live up to an exaggerated amount of trust. With too high expectations of a person, the relationship is doomed to fail from the start.

Trusting too much puts people on a pedestal. It can become idolatry.

It is better to trust the Lord for protection than to trust anyone else, including strong leaders.

Psalm 118:8-9 CEV

No matter how trustworthy another person is, there will always be some risk to trusting him. Nobody is perfect. Anyone at any time can let you down. So why should you trust anyone, including God who allows others to hurt you?

You can never trust God too much. He is completely trustworthy. You can’t blame Him for others’ mistakes. The more you trust God, without limit, the better off you will be.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5 NLT

Trusting God with all you’ve got provides you with an insurance policy. If anyone lets you down, God will always be there to take care of you. When you’ve been betrayed, trusting God might not always make sense, but it doesn’t have to. Blind trust in God is always better than no trust in God. Although, even with God, trust based on a positive experience of Him is more robust. Don’t neglect to build up your trust in God.

Read about repairing broken trust.
Image by Christian Calhoun from Pixabay
Updated and Expanded August 7, 2022

Filed Under: Boundaries, Betrayal, Identity, Marriage Tagged With: trust

Meaning And Pleasure Are Surprising Related

Meaning And Pleasure Are Surprising Related

July 31, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

Would you rather your life be meaningful or enjoyable? That’s a tough choice, isn’t it? What if you could have both? Actually, I believe you can’t have one without the other. A life that isn’t meaningful can’t be enjoyable for very long. Likewise, a life that isn’t enjoyable can’t be meaningful for very long.

What Makes Life Meaningful?

Something is meaningful if it has enough depth to last beyond the present moment. A mosquito might buzz by your ear. Then it’s forgotten. But if a butterfly lands on your arm, pauses, and then flies away, that is more remarkable. What you remember is certainly meaningful to you.

If you spend your whole life working, you might accomplish something at first, but it won’t be sustainable. All work and no play is dehumanizing. We aren’t machines.

Contributing without consuming doesn’t remain productive for long. There is only so much your efforts are meant to accomplish. There is only so much you can do. Working harder can’t make up for what only God can do. After that, any more effort is only wasted effort. Working more hours becomes a distraction rather than an essential part of life.

Meaning also comes from recognizing that God is in control. He is the one flying the plane. He is the one keeping it in the air. We are passengers. But this doesn’t mean we should be passive. Meaning comes from what you can contribute, up to a point.

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    the builders labor in vain.

Psalm 127:1 NIV

What Makes Life Pleasurable?

God’s definition of pleasure is different than the world’s. The world defines pleasure as feeling good in the moment. It’s the opposite of meaningful. Worldly pleasure is quickly forgotten. God-created pleasure is also inspirational and hopeful.

If you spend your whole life seeking worldly pleasure, you might have fun at first, but it won’t be sustainable. Consuming without contributing doesn’t remain fun for long. Fun for fun’s sake lacks depth. A life without meaning will be empty.

Enjoying life in God’s way adds meaning. It reminds us that life is worth living. That’s priceless. There are times when there is nothing left to do… when additional efforts don’t help. In those moments, the best we can do is trust God to handle life’s challenges and find ways to continue enjoying life.

Working hard to know God and carry out the part of His plan that He has delegated to us is a pleasurable activity. Nothing is more meaningful than playing a part in fulfilling God’s plans.

Enhance Meaning by Resting and Trusting in God

What makes life worth living? Knowing you have significance is near the top of the list. What you do matters. But it’s more than that. What happens to you also matters. God cares about what happens to us. To think He doesn’t is to give up all hope.

Both work and pleasure are meaningless unless they are first inspired by God. The combined efforts of God and believers are a true accomplishment (John 4:30-34).

A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 NIV

We can’t make anything last beyond this moment without God (John 15:5). Enjoying your work is also impossible without God.

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Ecclesiates 3:12-14 NIV

Relying too much on ability and too little on God can shift your ability from a strength to a weakness. If you want to enter into God’s rest, then don’t push yourself to accomplish more than your Maker intends. Work hard. Stress less. Enjoy life. Leave the rest to God.

More about working hard and enjoying life.
Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

Filed Under: Identity, Self-Care

Guard Your Heart Or You Will Become Lost

Guard Your Heart Or You Will Become Lost

April 10, 2022 by Matt Pavlik 2 Comments

Reading time: 5 minutes

How are you doing with trust? Do you trust enough, too much, or not enough? Would genuine Christians close their hearts to others? Does God want you to always open your heart to people? The answers to these questions all depend on whether you are among friends or enemies.

But who exactly is your friend? Sometimes a friend can act like an enemy. Sometimes an enemy can act like a friend. An enemy, or a friend acting like an enemy, can harm your heart. So-called friends or “frenemies” can be immature or weak. Jealousy or bitterness can produce passive-aggressive behavior.

People close to you can tear you down for their advantage and steal what is rightfully yours. The wound can take a long time to recover from. Many times, the wound won’t completely heal until the next life begins in heaven.

If you have ever experienced this, you understand that betrayal wounds are costly. So what can you do? Read further to better understand your heart and what healthy steps you can take to protect it.

Why Is Your Heart Important?

Your heart is a biblical term for the core of your identity: who you are, what you value, and what you stand for. Your heart can seem like a mysterious black box. Can you know for sure what is inside?

Perhaps we can know some of what is in our hearts, and understand some about how it got there, but we have no clue how God makes it all work. Only God knows us completely.

We know that Jesus is significantly concerned about our hearts (Matthew 15:18-19; Matthew 23:27-28). What a person says or does has its origins in the core of that person. The condition of a heart is an accurate representation of the whole person (Proverbs 27:19).

Most believers want to know God’s will for their lives. We want to know if our existence is significant. We want to know how to succeed in life. How? Proverbs 4:23 provides the answer.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

Proverbs 4:23 NLT

Your heart will determine how your life turns out. It’s like a compass for your life. It will decide the direction you take. Without a well-functioning center, you will be lost.

Follow Your New Heart But Deny Your Old Heart

All of us could benefit from admitting that both of the following are true:

  • The heart contains more corrupt motives than any of us realize because we haven’t fully experienced the depths of its sickness (Jeremiah 17:9).
  • God has designed our hearts to contain amazingly beautiful features that we haven’t been able to appreciate because no one has recognized them yet (Proverbs 20:5).

Recognizing these as both true is crucial to avoiding extreme thinking that leads to unhealthy behaviors. For instance, you could read Jeremiah 17:9 and conclude that you are bad and that nothing you desire can be trusted. This only produces fear, self-doubt, and a passive approach to life.

Fortunately, God didn’t leave us believers helpless. He gives us new hearts that can respond to His correction and love.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:26 NIV

The new, living heart replaces the old, dead one. In this context, “flesh” is positive–it means alive. But there is another kind of flesh that Paul mentions (Romans 7:14-24). In this context, “flesh” is the entire physicalness of our being which has been corrupted by a sinful nature. You can read more about flesh here.

Your new heart comes with your newly created spirit. But even with a new core, it’s possible to give in to the desires of the flesh. For the believer, new, worthy, and beautiful desires coexist with harmful motives and desires. It’s possible to do something that appears to be right for the wrong reason. People can donate to the poor to look good to others. Therefore, every desire must be tested.

Guard Your Heart: Discern Your Enemies

Discernment is especially important in a culture that says “follow your heart” to do whatever you want, regardless of how it affects yourself, your future, other people, or your ability to follow God’s commandments.

While you can be courageous because God is with you (Joshua 1:9), God also commands you to protect your most valuable possession, your heart.

The enemy, and sometimes the people influenced by him, can cause you great harm. God expects you to protect yourself from evil people and evil ideas. Sometimes this can be as simple as avoiding evil influences. Other times, it will involve guiding and guarding your heart while you are in the midst of evil. In those situations, consider what would help you, such as what you are thinking about or who you are trusting.

Truth, whether about a situation, about who you are, or about who God is, is the powerful antidote to the poison of evil. Here are two truths to encourage you to protect yourself.

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8 NLT

“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.”

Matthew 7:6 NLT

At the same time, your heart needs nurturing. To understand who you are, you must share what is inside of you with yourself, God, and others. As you allow God to search you, He will help you identify the sick parts that need healing but also treasures that need to be put on display (Psalm 139:23-24).

The more you trust others, the more you are letting your guard down. You allow yourself to be known. Most of the time this will produce favorable results, but it can also end in rejection.

What level of risk is worth taking, given the possible rewards? As you become better at guarding your heart, your risk goes down. Protect yourself, without ceasing to nurture yourself, so you can thrive. What does your heart tell you today about the course of your life?

Read more about how to keep your heart healthy.
Image by Mar sono from Pixabay Image by ElisaRiva from Pixabay
Updated and expanded July 24, 2022

Filed Under: Boundaries, Identity

Crave Optimal Ways Of Living

Crave Optimal Ways Of Living

July 17, 2022 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

What would you consider to be the optimal lifestyle? Do you wish you could be independently wealthy? Do you wish you could be a superhero? Perhaps your aspirations aren’t so lofty. Maybe all you hope for is to not be so extremely poor or lonely or hurt.

The simple life is an optimal way of living. Fabricating a disguise to hide who you are complicates life. Having too much or too little complicates life.

O God, I beg two favors from you;
    let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
    Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
    Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
    And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.

Proverbs 30:7-9 NLT

Optimal Living: Not Too Low

No one craves to be poor or depressed. But some people choose to default to an understimulating life. They’ve given up on trying to make life more interesting. Having too little to do leads to boredom. People who feel bored feel useless. They lack a sense of purpose.

If life becomes so easy that people no longer need to put any effort into it, why do they need to exist? They can live only to enjoy this life. They can consume but no longer need to produce anything of value.

A hard worker has plenty of food,
    but a person who chases fantasies has no sense.

Proverbs 12:11 NLT

People who chase fantasies or retire early only to pursue self-indulgence have lost their lives. They are missing out on the abundant life God has for them (Matthew 10:39).

God has a plan for every person. Every believer has something to contribute to God’s plan to grow and strengthen His kingdom. If believers are bored, it’s because they are ignoring God’s call on their lives.

Optimal Living: Not Too High

If you won the lottery, you probably wouldn’t voluntarily give the money back. But sometimes too much of a good thing is dangerous.

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.

1 Timothy 6:10 NLT

Having too much can be a massive distraction. If people are preoccupied with money, they can’t be focused on God.

The same applies to people who are too stressed. Too many earthly responsibilities can distract a person from pursuing God’s kingdom.

Optimal Living: Just Right

The person who is bored and the person who is overwhelmed are both blinded. They are under-challenged and over-challenged. When life becomes either too easy or too hard, people usually give up. The bored person says I have nothing worthwhile to do. And the overwhelmed person says It’s impossible to do anything worthwhile.

People who experience the optimal life have found the sweet spot between those extremes. To produce the maximum amount of enjoyment, tasks need to be, on average, challenging enough for us to wonder if we’re going to complete them, but not so challenging that we become convinced we will never be able to complete them.

God made you in such a way that you are healthiest and happiest when you desire to accomplish something that is somewhat of a stretch for you. This applies not only to work but also to play.

Soccer wouldn’t be much fun for the players or spectators if every shot went in. Where is the fun in that? It’s not exciting. Likewise, if no shot ever went in, what would be the point? After a predictable pattern emerged, no one would want to play (ever).

A mixture of unpredictability along with possibility maximizes life satisfaction.

If you think about it, that presents a clear picture of who God is. God is unpredictable but also full of potential. Whether we are in this life or the next, we can always look to God with wonder. What will we learn about Him next? What is He going to do next?

Life won’t be boring or overwhelming in heaven, it will be optimal.

What Heaven Will Be Like
Photo from PxHere

Filed Under: Identity, God's Kingdom Tagged With: wonder

What Heaven Will Be Like

September 29, 2019 by Matt Pavlik 1 Comment

Reading time: 4 minutes

What is your best possible interpretation of what heaven will be like?

More importantly though, how would knowing the best possible interpretation impact the way you live today? How would your quality of life improve?

Can We Know What Heaven Will Be Like?

I like to spend time thinking about heaven because it lifts my spirit to remember that the difficulties of present-day life won’t last forever. God has something much better planned. By reading only 1 Corinthians 2:9, it’s easy to believe that no one can understand how great heaven will be.

But it is just as the Scriptures say,
“What God has planned
    for people who love him
is more than eyes have seen
    or ears have heard.
It has never even
    entered our minds!”

1 Corinthians 2:9 (CEV)

But, The Living Bible (TLB) translation communicates the full idea in context:

That is what is meant by the Scriptures which say that no mere man has ever seen, heard, or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord.

1 Corinthians 2:9 (TLB)

No mere man has ever. A “mere man” is one who isn’t connected to God by the Holy Spirit. If you have the Spirit of God living inside of you, then you aren’t a mere man.

God’s Spirit has shown you everything. His Spirit finds out everything, even what is deep in the mind of God.

1 Corinthians 2:10 (CEV)

The TLB drives home the point further:

But we know about these things because God has sent his Spirit to tell us, and his Spirit searches out and shows us all of God’s deepest secrets.

1 Corinthians 2:10 (TLB)

You can know more about heaven than you realize. What is your best possible interpretation of what heaven will be like? What is the Holy Spirit telling you about heaven?

What We Know About Heaven

I like John 14:2 because I can picture a permanent home that God has for me.

Revelation 21:4 and 22:3 assure me that pain and suffering will be no more.

With sin and suffering gone, what will remain? You might feel like your current life isn’t worth living, but what about a perfect heaven? Will there be anything worth doing? Will you be bored?

It’s hard not to think about what you feel most deprived of on earth instead of what will be most positive in heaven. To get around this, try asking what heaven will be like at two distinct times.

First, when you are at your worst. If you’ve exercised for a while without access to water, you’d equate heaven to a glass of water. Before you object, consider how much Esau gave up when he was famished (see Genesis 25).

Now, let’s assume you’re well fed, had a good night’s sleep, and you’re in a good mood. You’re happy. What do you imagine heaven will be like? It will still be way better.

Even though I don’t know specifically what we’ll be doing, I know we won’t be bored. God has something better planned. Your afterlife days will always be better than your best present-day life.

Without sin to distract us and sabotage our progress, we’ll focus on building something bigger than ourselves. As Christ’s bride, we can partner with Christ to accomplish something greater than the best of things we have now.

Are you frustrated with having to make decisions all the time? Some decisions are heartbreaking because there’s no optimal option – only the lessor of two evils. But in heaven, such difficult decisions won’t exist.

I’m looking forward to heaven where I can have my cake and eat it too. I won’t have to worry about the FOMO (the fear of missing out). In heaven, we’ll never be out of step (out of unity) with God and His purposes. We’ll have time for both community and individual interests.

Heaven will be like a multi-layered cake. We’ll be able to taste all the layers at the same time in a perfect mixture. The reality of heaven will allow us to experience true:

  1. Devotion: we can worship without rebellion.
  2. Identity: we can create without obstacles.
  3. Productivity: we can serve without fatigue.
  4. Intimacy: we can fellowship without fear or shame.
  5. Understanding: we can learn without confusion.
  6. Peace: we can rest without worry. (a)

For now, you’ll need to find some way to balance your life. Sometimes, you can eat half your cake, and sometimes you might not get any at all. But however much cake you have, you can be satisfied with that, especially when you can have some idea of what having the whole piece must taste like.

How are you struggling to keep your life balanced? What aspect of heaven do you daydream about? What is your best possible interpretation of what heaven will be like? Share your picture of heaven in a comment.

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay
(a) adapted from a list found on https://www.biblestudytools.com

Filed Under: Identity, God's Kingdom, Spiritual Formation

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