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Why Rejection Means You Belong

Why Rejection Means You Belong

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Rejection can be extremely painful or even life-threatening. However, for the Christian, for the child of God, rejection is an attack without merit. It doesn’t feel like it at the time, but rejection can be good. Would you rather be accepted by God or by Satan? Would you rather be rejected by God or by Satan?

Rejection is Related to Belonging

If you’re excluded from one group, you automatically belong to another.

If someone hates you, then someone else loves you.

If one person forgets you, you’re remembered by another.

If someone goes out of their way to reject you, that means you’re significant.

How can these statements be true? Belonging is conserved. No one can “unbelong” themselves from everyone everywhere. All believers have a built-in community. We have an identity made in God’s image meaning we’re somebody even when we feel like a nobody.

Rejection can be Temporary, Bad, or Good

Rejection is not always bad. Understanding its different types will help you focus on the good.

Temporary

When you reject yourself, you deceive yourself. When others reject you and you agree with it, you are likewise deceived. This is temporary rejection (God accepts you, man rejects you, and you reject you). It’s temporary because it comes from an incorrect belief. God will help you know the truth.

Bad

If you reject God and God rejects you, you have nothing. This is bad rejection (God rejects you, man might reject you, and you reject you). It’s bad because there is nothing worse in life than being rejected by God. God fully accepts His spiritual children, so this only applies to non-believers.

Good

If you’re rejected by the people who reject God, then you belong with God. When you’re enemy rejects you, you only gain. This is good rejection (God accepts you, man rejects you, but you accept you). It’s good because it solidifies that you truly belong to God.

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.
What can man do to me?

The Lord is on my side as my helper;
I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.

The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone.

Psalm 118:6-8, 22 ESV

Jesus, the cornerstone, had much to say about belonging and rejection.

The one who hears you hears me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects him who sent me.

Luke 10:16 ESV

Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

Luke 11:23 ESV

For the one who is not against us is for us.

Mark 9:40 ESV

Turn Your Rejection Into Belonging

Those who do not know who they truly are in God’s eyes are vulnerable to rejection from the world. We are born with the desperate need for acceptance. Without any connection or guidance from God, we will believe whatever we experience. The less you know yourself, the more rejection stings because you need others to help you learn how to accept yourself.

Think about the worst rejection you’ve ever had to face. Perhaps you craved the attention of so-and-so, but they poured contempt on you. Or you trusted so-and-so and they betrayed you. That’s the worst feeling ever.

What happens when you’re rejected? You just figured out where you don’t belong, which means you also found where you belong. For example:

  • If someone tells you he no longer wants to date you because you’re too quiet, then you belong with people who appreciate you being soft-spoken.
  • If someone excludes you because you are “too competitive”, then you belong with people who value being ambitious.
  • If someone persecutes you because of your unwavering faith in Jesus, then you belong with people who know and value the true God.

Review times of rejection and allow these experiences to strengthen (instead of weaken) the sense of who you are.

Learn more about love, suffering, and rejection.
Last updated 2025/02/09

How To Live With Rejection

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Reading time: 3 minutes

Confidence is the antidote to rejection. It’s easy to think that confidence is only something other people can have. But you can have it too. The secret to confidence is to stop trying to be something you’re not.

Living with the excruciating pain of rejection is hard. Some people would rather be physically beaten than be emotionally beaten.

Does anyone in the world like you? Does anyone want to spend time getting to know you? Does anyone appreciate you? Does God? If you answer these questions “no” then you are living with the oppressive feeling of rejection.

Rejection, though it feels real, is more of an illusion than a reality, if you know Jesus. God knew you before you were born. Jesus redeemed you from all sin that separated you from God. God accepts you exactly as you are.

But this doesn’t mean you won’t struggle with rejection. You have experienced some rejection and you’ll experience some more. To gain confidence, you must learn to not care about the rejection that others direct your way.

Rejection can easily become a downward spiral. None of us knows who we are as much as God knows who we are. The more you’ve experienced rejection, the more you’ve probably gone into hiding. The more you are in hiding, the more people are rejecting the false you (because you are keeping the real you out of sight). But it will still feel like people are rejecting the real you, so you end up hurting more and hiding more.

There is no good reason for anyone to reject the best parts of you that come from God. Therefore, rejection has to do with being misunderstood rather than being defective. I would guess people with obvious disabilities experience this all the time in a much more direct way. How frustrating it is to be judged superficially. How frustrating to be judged instantly and only based on your performance in one moment rather than your potential.

How much have you become your own worst enemy? If you struggle with rejection, you struggle to understand who you really are. If you’ve stopped wanting to know the real you, it will be difficult for others to see you (as in “I see you” from the movie Avatar).

God sees your potential. Your potential comes from your heart, from who God made you to be. He sees you at your best even when you look your worst. You have the best qualities that God placed in you.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7 NLT

If you struggle with low self-worth, you might be quick to focus on the negative part of this verse. You might be thinking, “But God rejected Eliab, so that means He most likely rejects me.”

God has the right to choose whoever He wants for what He wants to accomplish. God can’t make everybody king. Just because you are rejected for one thing, doesn’t mean you are completely rejected. God will reject you for everything He doesn’t have planned for your life. But this also means He accepts you for all the good things He has planned.

So don’t worry so much about rejection. You’ll probably be rejected 99 times out of a 100. But it’s that 1 out of 100 that matters. You only need 1. Cling to the truth that God accepts you as you are, for the purposes He has for you. Ask God to help you understand your purpose and forget about what He hasn’t chosen you for.

Image by Ulrike Leone from Pixabay