How positive are you about yourself? Can you look at yourself, see your brokenness, or even your sinful behaviors, and still know you are completely loved by God? Can you be flawed and valuable? As you find the answers to these questions you will be able to live confidently.
Our hearts long for perfection, but no one can guarantee it except God. If nothing is perfect, are all decisions a choice between the lesser of two evils? That’s how it is with all-or-nothing thinking. It makes self-evaluation challenging. It makes decision making challenging.
All-or-nothing thinking is a coping strategy. It’s useful when you can’t stand to look at your flaws. Like all coping, it stops the pain but doesn’t help you thrive. If any imperfection means you are worthless, then the only alternative is that you must see yourself as perfect–you must strive to attain perfection.
There’s no need to strive for perfection because you already have it.
If someone or something isn’t perfect, what good is it? Does God only love you because He’s got no one better to love? No! God made you in His image, so you already have the highest value possible.
To be all-in for God is healthy, but all-or-nothing thinking is unhealthy. God is perfect, so there is no harm in fully trusting Him, even though it might seem like there is at times. Since you aren’t perfect (yet) you will only harm yourself if you can’t accept yourself with your flaws. It’s okay if you aren’t perfect. God made you perfectly and He has set you free from your flaws.
Unhealthy all-or-nothing thinking increases the likelihood of impulsive decisions and obsessive behaviors. Fear motivates the all-or-nothing thinker to attempt the impossible. Because it is impossible, more fear is generated. This never-ending cycle is similar to an addiction.
Healthy thinking results in self-control, peace, and compassion. You can slow down, take note, and realize that you have everything you need in the present moment.
By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.2 Peter 1:3 NLT
Responding in fear (worrying) doesn’t help. Worrying is like driving your car in neutral or rocking in a chair. Both expend energy, but neither get you anywhere real.
Extreme behavior is often wasteful. Best is stopping at good enough. Instead of wasting your energy, why not channel it into activities that benefit others or you? Starting can be difficult, but once you moving, the momentum helps keep you going.
Has your life become extreme and therefore imbalanced in any way? What steps can you take to regain balance and therefore increase your peace and efficiency?