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Are You Being Stubborn Or Tenacious?

April 5, 2020 by Matt Pavlik Leave a Comment

Have you ever behaved irrationally? I have. Irrational behavior is just another way of stubbornly clinging to your biases. It’s also a cry to be recognized for who you are.

What happens when a life event confronts who you think you are? That’s an identity crisis. In the worst case, it seriously threatens your sense of well-being.

You need to feel inner stability. You need an identity. A lack of identity feels like sinking without reaching a firm bottom. You feel squishy, inadequate, and ashamed.

Choosing Stubbornness For Stability

Because the need for stability is so strong, it’s possible to settle for a false sense of security. This can sometimes be okay when you need a quick moment to catch your breath. Life can be intimidating sometimes. But a quick fix won’t last long. A consistent pattern of avoidance isn’t healthy.

Stubbornness has a negative connotation. Stubborn people pursue self-protection even when it costs them their integrity. They lie and people-please to minimize their contact with reality.

Stubborn people are prideful. They are like the people who build their house on the sand instead of the rock. There house might go up quickly, but it won’t last nearly as long as the house built upon the rock.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Matthew 7:24-27 ESV

The need to feel good about yourself creates a strong temptation to remain biased. Every person has the right to choose, but it doesn’t mean everyone is right. People are irrational. They can say the sky is purple because it supports their inner reality. They can even go so far as to insist that the sky is always purple. They might do this because they don’t like living with change.

Experiencing inner stability is important. You should seek to achieve it first. But then, if you want to participate in a meaningful reality, the next step is to seek the truth.

Choosing Tenacity For Truth

As disruptive as the truth might be, it’s the only way to construct a firm foundation. In order to seek God and His truth, you must be willing to give up the false-security of your biases. To be tenacious, you must humble yourself.

Tenacity has positive, forward momentum. A tenacious person pursues a higher goal without ever giving up. The truth is welcomed even when it produces a temporary set-back.

Tenacious people are willing to look at whatever inaccuracies, faults, or flat out lies are preventing them from moving forward. They care more about the higher cause than how comfortable they are. Therefore, they are willing to give up their self-protective pretenses.

How about you? Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort in order to build something lasting?

If so, it’s okay to start small. Try to simply be aware of your biases and self-protective ways. When you are ready, take the risk to be tenacious.

Image by Mabel Amber from Pixabay

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Matt Pavlik
Matt Pavlik
Christian Counselor - New Reflections Counseling
Matt Pavlik is a licensed professional clinical counselor who wants to see each individual restored to their true identity. He has more than 15 years of experience counseling individuals and couples at his Christian counseling practice, New Reflections Counseling. Matt and Georgette have been married since 1999 and live with their four children in Centerville, Ohio.

Matt’s courses and books:
shop.christianconcepts.com ToIdentityAndBeyond.com ConfidentIdentity.com MarriageFromRootsToFruits.com
contain practical exercises that help God’s truth spring to life.

Filed Under: Spiritual Formation, Core Longings Tagged With: desire, hope

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