You May Be Suffering Needlessly

If I told you I am suffering needlessly, what adjectives would you use to describe me?

Everybody suffers. Some suffering is necessary while other suffering is needless.

Here is one way to define a balanced, healthy love:

Love does not suffer needlessly but neither does it run from suffering when running would be a denial of love. A loving person walks away from harm when possible and stays and faces harm when that is the only way to be loving.

Emilie Calabrese

Take a moment and reflect on your current suffering. Can you separate out which suffering is necessary and which is needless?

A mid-life crisis can involve coming face-to-face with the need to grow up. Instead of pressing forward, you decide to run away, refusing the opportunity for growth. Of course, then the only way to go is backward, so your behavior starts to look like your childhood and early adulthood.

Instead of crossing the emotional bridge, you remain “land-locked.”

Self-inflicted pain can be anything from the literal cutting of your body to psychological put-downs such as, “I’m not enough” or “I’m disgusting.”

Learned helplessness is a cycle of defeat with no apparent escape. The bridge forward might be visible but might as well be invisible because the thought of crossing seems ridiculous.

Start the journey by being aware of how you are suffering needlessly.

Matt Pavlik

Christian Counselor - New Reflections Counseling

Matt Pavlik is a licensed professional clinical counselor who wants to see each individual restored to their true identity. He has more than 15 years of experience counseling individuals and couples at his Christian counseling practice, New Reflections Counseling. Matt and Georgette have been married since 1999 and live with their four children in Centerville, Ohio.

Matt’s books, , , and , contain practical exercises that help God’s truth spring to life.