Forgiveness

What is it good for?

Forgivess is supernatural work of the Holy Spirit. It heals conflict within people, between people, and between people and God. Forgiveness removes bitterness, a cancerous blockage that infects and destroys people and relationships.

Failure to forgive is often the main obstacle to moving forward in freedom. Forgive can be broken down into “give for”, therefore, it is something God gives to us, we give to others, and others give to us.

What is it?

• Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them
• Choosing to keep no records of wrong
• Refusing to punish
• Not telling what they did (not gossiping)
• Being merciful
• Absense of bitterness

What isn’t it?

• Approval of what was done to you
• Excusing what they did
• Justifying what they did
• Pardoning what they did
• Reconciliation of the relationship
• Denying what they did
• Forgetting
• Refusing to take the wrong seriously
• Pretending you are not hurt

Reflections

He who cannot forgive another breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself.
– George Herbert

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
– C.S. Lewis

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
– Leo Tolstoy

The most powerful agent of growth and transformation is something much more basic than any technique: a change of heart.
– John Welwood

When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
– Dr. Robert Anthony

Nothing is easy to the unwilling.
– Thomas Fuller

Resources

Book – Total Forgiveness by R.T. Kendall
– provides a comprehensive explanation of what forgiveness is and what it is not

Book – What’s So Amazing About Grace by Phillip Yancy
– provides a compeling case for no strings attached forgiveness

Prayer
Heavenly Father, I choose as an act of my will to forgive [person]. I forgive [person] for [list of specific offenses]. I release [person]. I ask you to forgive [person] for all these things as well and that you do not hold these things against [person] on my account.

Heavenly Father, I ask you to forgive me for holding unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, etc., in my heart towards [person]. I receive your forgiveness now and your cleansing of my heart from all unrighteousness.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for holding resentment towards you for allowing these hurts to happen to me. If I have any more negative feelings stored up in me towards [person], I ask you to cleanse them from me now. I open myself to replace these negative emotions with the fruit of your Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience…)

Heavenly Father, I ask you now to heal the wounded places in my soul. Heal every memory of those offenses so that I can look back on them, realistically accepting they were hurtful, but also trusting you have healed the hurt. Enable me to use this experience to help others with whom I come into contact.

Heavenly Father, bless [person] with your abundant mercy. Prosper [person] in every way. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Matt Pavlik

Christian Counselor - New Reflections Counseling

Matt Pavlik is a licensed professional clinical counselor who wants to see each individual restored to their true identity. He has more than 15 years of experience counseling individuals and couples at his Christian counseling practice, New Reflections Counseling. Matt and Georgette have been married since 1999 and live with their four children in Centerville, Ohio.

Matt’s books, , , and , contain practical exercises that help God’s truth spring to life.