Our desire for love can drive us to rationalize just about any behavior. God made us to experience love. So when we don’t experience it, we know something is deeply wrong. Something is deeply wrong — our suffering is genuine. We do need to keep crying out for love, otherwise we will won’t be able to receive it. As intolerable as being unloved is, if we lose sight of where love comes from, we will ultimately destroy our relationships.
We can submit and surrender ourselves to anything, treating it as a source. Some sources are life-giving and some are life-stealing. Most of our sources will fail us in one way or another. They may be excellent sources with natural limits, or they may be horrible substitutes for fullness of life. God is the only true and trustworthy source that will never run out or fail us.
If you are struggling in your marriage, could you be expecting your partner to be your source instead of God? Are you trying to be sufficient apart from abiding in Jesus?